Un-purchases and Un-campaigning

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

A recent discussion made me realize that there are some things that I’ve managed to never, ever purchase. Of course, there are thousands (millions?) of things that I’ve never purchased but listed here are six things that you would think someone like me would have bought at sometime, but, for whatever reason, I never have:

1. A couch

So, when I first moved out of my parents’ home, they generously gave me their downstairs couch. Later, after getting married, I brought the couch to my new apartment where it shared a living room with my new wife’s futon. Later, we trashed that old couch, but we used her futon for the next 10+ years. Her parents gave us an old couch to use for our basement and, later, my mom gave us her old living room set. At the moment, our futon is at my in-laws’ place, but we still have my mom’s love seat. There really has never been a moment in my life when I’ve thought, “you know, I need a couch.”

2. A new car

Sure, I’ve bought a few cars during my driving career, but never a brand new one. The closest I came was in 2000, when Jennifer and I purchased a 1997 Cavalier. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: brand new cars are such atrocious wastes of money that I would have to be quite rich before I would feel justified in buying a new car. In fact, even if I was a billionaire, I would still feel that buying a new car was a waste of money, but such a purchase would be such a tiny percentage of my funds that I really wouldn’t mind – much as I don’t mind spending a quarter in those candy machines now.

3. A dining room table

As with the couches, Jennifer and I have just seemed to fallen into possession of dining room tables as time goes on. For a couple years, in fact, we even had two dining room tables in our dining room. For the last three years, we’ve used an office desk as our dining room table. We did buy this table from IKEA back in 2004, however, it was sold as a desk (not a table) and we used it as such for a few years.

4. A tool box

When I moved out of my parents’ house, my dad presented me with a refurbished tool box. He worked at a machine shop, so he was able to remove the rust, replace the handle, and repaint it. He even stocked it with some tools. It’s a big, heavy box that has served me well. Of course, a small tool box for carrying tools for smaller jobs is also handy…and Jennifer and I received one at one of our engagement parties prior to our wedding.

5. A snow blower

So, during my adult life, I’ve either been living in an apartment or been the owner of a townhome. In both cases, other people were paid to clear my driveway. The only exception is the three and a half years I was the owner of an actual house. Having only a one-car garage about 25 feet from the roadside meant that my driveway was not very large. Shoveling has always seemed like a great (if unwelcome) way to get some exercise. I don’t think I could justify a snow blower unless I ever own an enormous driveway. And, if I ever do, then I’ll probably be wealthy enough to hire the neighbor kid to come over with his blower.

6. Baby formula

We’ve never purchased baby formula, and the small amount of it that we have possessed we have given to others. When Jennifer was pregnant with Owen, three different baby formula companies sent us samples of their products. Jennifer told me to just give it to a food shelf, but I encouraged her to keep it on hand “just in case.” Thankfully, there was no need for the stuff so, when Owen was about three months old, I brought the formula into work and set it on a counter at my job. I then sent out an email to a few co-workers who also had babies and told them to take it if they wanted to. One co-worker came over to my cube and said, “Don’t you need it for Owen?”

I said, “No. It turns out, my wife has boobs, and they produce food for him. How awesome is that?”

We recently received another unsolicited canister of formula. I brought it to work again and, again, a co-worker asked if I was sure Isla didn’t need it. “Nope,” I said, “we give her better food than this.”

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Today during the Toastmasters’ meeting, we had our annual election of the board members. Since I only joined Toastmasters six months ago, this was my first time participating in a full election, though I was present during the mid-term election of a new president when the previous president resigned due to a job change.

All seemed to be going well until the announcement was made for the sergeant-at-arms. Only one member was on the ballot, but when the secretary called for any other last-minute names, someone shouted out, “I nominate James.” Then, before I could even react, someone else shouted, “I second that motion.” I gave a “What the fuck?” look but it was too late: my name was on the ballot and, as there were now two candidates, we each had to get up and give a quick campaign speech.

The other guy got up first and spent his 60 seconds on stage detailing why I would be the best man for the job. I then got up and basically said that the other guy should have the job, since he asked to be put on the ballot and was not a last-minute addition. It’s not, of course, that I am adverse to being on the Toastmasters’ board, it’s just that I’m busy with other things. Already, I have requested to not be assigned any speeches in June due to a college class I will be taking that month. So…you know…what I am doing in the club is pretty much the maximum I can do without overloading.

I voted against myself.

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