Runner #471

Thursday, 04 November 2010

Today I tried the Maple Grove library’s drive-up book drop for the first time. In the past, I have always gotten out of my car and went in to return my items, but today I had no reason to go in, so I decided to try the book drop. Unfortunately, the woman in the minivan ahead of me was returning about 5,000 items, which she had to insert into the drop one at a time. She kept reaching around in her vehicle, picking up one thing at a time.

Then I went to Michaels, which never fails to put me in a bad mood. I had to return a tie-dying kit we bought the other day. There was no signage for where to make a return, so I asked this young employee (who was busy organizing stuff on a rack and didn’t bother to look at me) where I could return something. She replied, but she mumbled so much that I couldn’t understand here. Oh – and she also started walking away mid-sentence. She went behind a cash register, so I assumed for a moment that she was going to help me, but instead she just yelled out: “I can help who ever’s next!”

I just went into a different line, where I was told the wait would be long. So thenĀ  I went into a different line. When I got to the front of that line, the cashier told me she’d have to get a manager to help us. And guess what? The manager turned out to be the mumbling, back-turning girl I had first tried talking to!

Man, I hate that store.

Friday, 05 November 2010

Let’s first talk about what went wrong during today’s 6K race.

First, I once again was unable to determine when, exactly, the race began. I was standing there, near the starting line, listening as best as I could. But the starting point is near a highway, and the PA system they use was (once again) inadequate. I wanted to stand closer to the announcer, but it wouldn’t be right for me to stand too close to the front, as I would just get trampled by the ‘real’ runners. So…I started my stopwatch and began running as soon as I could, but I knew I’d already lost some time.

Second, we were instructed to travel counterclockwise around the path. For the last month, I had been running clockwise around it. I know, I know, this shouldn’t make that much of a difference, but it does. See, I knew where all the markers were, and I knew how to pace myself (e.g. “Don’t stop running until I’ve crossed the bridge”). But with everything the opposite way, I couldn’t keep track of my pacing as well.

Alas, I think both of these things made me do better. Since I was worried I had lost several seconds at the start, and since I didn’t know when I could slow down, I just kept on running. In fact, I kept passing people that I had been pacing off of – they would get winded and slow down, and I just kept going. It wasn’t until about 90% of the way around the path that I stopped running. My side hurt and so I took about 30 seconds to walk while pushing in my side. Then I ran again. Then I stopped running again, but this time only for about 20 seconds.

Then, I could see the finish line in view. I looked behind me to see no one closer than 50 feet. I looked in front of me and saw the clock: it was a good thing I hadn’t trusted my stopwatch, as I was several seconds off.

Running slowly and steadily, I was first passed by a tall man who suddenly had a burst of energy. “Oh well,” I thought, “I didn’t want anyone else to get in front of me, but I suppose I’ve done well enough.” Then a woman, about 50 years old by the looks of her, also passed me. She was followed closely on her heels by two more people – also several years older than me.

Somehow, for some reason, I decided to kick it into high gear. I didn’t want to be outrun by three older people in the final few seconds. So I ran. Fast. So fast I kept wondering how high off the ground I was launching myself. So fast that my heels were nearly hitting my butt with each kick back.

With about 5 seconds to go, I passed the three people. At the speed I was going, I nearly smashed into the tall guy. So I increased my speed even more, and, with one second to go, I stepped around that man, put myself directly in front of him, and reclaimed my position.

But since I was so concerned with pissing off four of my co-workers, I neglected to look at the clock.

No worries. One of the ladies who works in my department finished just after me. She said her time was 34:54. The official times won’t be published until sometime next week, but I must’ve finished in 34:40 (give or take 10 seconds), meaning I not only set a new personal best, but I beat my old record by over 80 seconds.

At the moment, I have no plans to beat this record next year.

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4 Responses to Runner #471

  1. Mike says:

    I suggest getting a small handgun, taking it to Michaels, take care of the manager, donate the same pistol to the running club, so they can start races more accurately, and where it will be locked away for 364 days per year. Two problems solved by one piece of hardware. Chances of you getting caught, slim to none. Simple!

  2. James says:

    “Taking care of the manager” would just result in lawsuit charges for me, and sympathy for that lousy store. I think it’s best to just tell people about lousy service when it happens.
    Oh – but I do like the idea of a gun for the race. It would be nice to know the exact moment I’m supposed to begin running. Next year I’m going to start near the very front and if people have to pass me, so be it.

  3. Debbie says:

    When I have to go to Michael’s I seem to always have the same crabby old lady check me out. I have been going to Joanne’s instead because of the non-service I have gotten at Michael’s.

    Congratulations on beating your time.

  4. James says:

    Thanks! I’ve since found out that my time was 34:37, so I beat my best time by 100 seconds.

    I think their “Help Wanted” signs say “must be either teen-aged and clueless or 60+ and crabby.”

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