Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Have you seen the new flick The Undefeated yet? It’s a documentary about Sarah Palin. According to the Los Angeles Times, and it’s still awaiting it’s first positive review (from a professional critic). This really makes me want to see the movie. I wonder if it really is that bad, or if critics’ preconceived notions were just confirmed. In reading the article, it appears to be the former – even conservative news outlets are giving it bad press. Best line in the article:
blogger Kirsten Boyd Johnson said the film opened “to exactly the amount of excitement visible on the faces of trapped subway car passengers standing next to someone who has just [passed gas].”
But if you want to read a funnier article – about a journalist who pushed through the crowds of Harry Potter fans in order to interview attendees at the Sarah Palin flick, READ THIS. Turns out, the journalist was the only person in the theater.
IMDb users, meanwhile, have afforded it a score of 1.6 out of 10.
Here’s a positive review of The Undefeated. It’s from Ben Howe, a friend of the director. Howe says he was “blown away.” He also says that, after watching the film, he felt shame. My guess is he masturbated through it.
I’m putting this on my Netflix queueueue.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
So I guess this isn’t really about today, but since I finally figured out how to extract the image from my cellular telephone and get it onto my computer today, then technically it has something to do with today. Here goes…
I was driving southbound on Snelling Avenue in Roseville last week, and I suddenly found myself driving behind an SUV. Specifically, it was a dark green Mazda Tribute. After a minute or so, I noticed the vehicle’s license plate. It was a vanity plate, and (since I now have a phone that allows me to take photos) I just had to snap a picture of it. Here it is:
Okay, so I know that cell phone cameras (well, mine at least) are not known for taking the best quality pictures. But it was the best I could do. In case you can’t read the plate, it says: JEHOVAH.
Wow!
How exciting!
I never would have guessed that Jehovah drove a tribute. When I was growing up, I was taught that the Almighty God drove something more akin to this:
But, facts are facts. And the fact is: He Who Causes To Become drives a Mazda Tribute. In a way, this makes sense. Since he has unlimited resources, he probably doesn’t care that he’s only getting 11 miles to the gallon. And while Dodge’s Omni is probably a more appropriate vehicle name for a deity, I can see why a selfish megalomaniac like Jehovah would find “Tribute” to be fitting as well.
After taking this photo, I just had to see what God looked like. I know that Exodus 33:20 says that no one can look upon God’s face and live, but I figured that, like everything else in the bible, that verse is probably false, too. So I decided to chance it.
Anyway, you heard it hear first, people: Jehovah’s ‘image’ is that of a clean-shaven black male, approximately 30 years old. He drives a Mazda Tribute.
And he has vanity plates.