Remembering Uncle Jeff

Thursday, 19 May 2011

My Uncle Jeff passed away today. He was 56 years old.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary memorial service  funeral
Uncle Jeff was a driven, passionate man who devoted much time and energy to things he cared about – especially his family and his faith. As the owner of a small business, he was a great provider for his family and had an awesome sense of humor – I still laugh when I recall witty words he said decades ago. He had a terrific fondness for an eclectic mix of music; he had the best cassette and CD collection of any adult I knew. For many years, he and I would greet each other before the meetings with a four-step handshake that only seemed to dissipate once I outgrew it.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary memorial service  funeral
Uncle Jeff and Aunt Debbie lived nearby when I was a young child – I recall going over to their home a few times and my mom warned my sister and me to be on our best behavior – “they don’t have kids,” she’d remind us, “so their house isn’t childproof and they don’t want you messing with their things.” We were told to be cautious around their toy poodle, too. After all, the dog (named Taffy) wasn’t used to the nervous energy of children, either.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
But perhaps that cautiousness was a bit undue. My Uncle and Aunt wanted children and, thus, were certainly not adverse to my sister and me. When I was very young, they took me and my Aunt’s brother (who was closer to my age than hers) to Valleyfair for the day. We were tall enough only for the kiddie rides and, after one trip around the roller-coaster, when the conductor asked if anyone wanted to get off, I shot my hand bolt upright, causing my Uncle and Aunt to laugh at my hurried insistence to be removed from the ride. One another occasion, my Aunt babysat us for the evening. She thoughtfully rented the movie The Goonies (excellent choice!) and passed out Skittles and a big gummy rat for us to snack on. Their dog snuggled next to us on the couch. And, after complaining all morning while out in the door-to-door work that my feet were cold, my Uncle took me to a store and bought me new boots. They were my favorite boots ever, and I wore them for many years.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Later, they adopted a baby girl and my wife often served as her babysitter. Uncle Jeff was always excited to come home to his daughter – his child he had waited so long for – and he played with her and spent time with her as a father should. He asked Jennifer how his daughter had been during the day, and he loved to tell Jennifer about his daughter’s latest antics and interests.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
At a shower held for my new cousin, someone asked how their dog, Wheatie (yes, they named their toy poodles after food – not to be confused with my grandparents, who named their poodles after drinks) would take to the new baby. Uncle Jeff responded, “Wheatie who?” and then, after the laughter died down, added that he had spoken to his dog and explained, “It’s okay, Wheatie, lots of dogs sleep outside.”
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Another time, I was talking with Uncle Jeff and our friend Brian following a Watchtower Convention one afternoon. Brian and I attended Apple Valley congregation, while my Uncle attended Eagan. As such, he hadn’t seen or talked to us in a few months and we were checking in on each other. A (very conservative) elder from Apple Valley congregation approached us to say hello and my Uncle, pretending not to see this elder, looked at Brian and said, “So Brian, how’s Apple Valley Congregation doing? Are you still having trouble with the elders there?”
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Nevertheless, I feel it would be disingenuous of me to not point out that Uncle Jeff and I had our differences. Throughout the 1990s and 2000s, we engaged in several heated debates and discussions, often recruiting other family members as hapless supporters, and I purposely minimized my contact with him at several points during those years so as to avoid conflict. Now that I look back on it, it’s really too bad – he and I, after all, were both desirous of the same thing: he wanted his family to be the best Christians they could be, and I wanted my family to be the best Christians they could be. It’s just that, while he took the most conservative stance on matters (i.e., If there was any chance this could offend anyone, it’s best to not do it), I took a more liberal approach (i.e., If there is no scriptural ruling on a matter, then it’s best to live and let live). However, I don’t mean to dwell on these irreconcilable disputes – as I have claimed before, matters of religion often graft over a true personality and create a skewed persona. Uncle Jeff, like most of the family, shunned me for the past five years. This, like what I said above, is not something I hold against him, and had he ever wished to restart a relationship with me, I would have been all for it.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
My heart goes out to the family – particularly his devoted wife (my aunt) of 30+ years and his beautiful young daughter (my cousin). Despite the sadness that comes with such an early, untimely death, it is good to know that the tremendous suffering he has endured these past few months has at last come to an end.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Here is my Uncle Jeff in happier times – he is pictured standing in the center. His parents (my grandparents) are seated, and Uncle Jeff is flanked by his four siblings. My father is second from the right. Don’t let that date fool you – this picture is from December 2009, about 15 months ago. Jeff Zimmerman memorial service memorial service eagan