Putting History Under the Microscope (and something else, too)

15 March 2001

Today Jennifer and I went to St. Thomas University to hear a presentation by James Loewen, author of one of my absolute favorite books, Lies My Teacher Told Me. Loewen was an amazing speaker, with great humor, animation, some self-deprecation thrown in. During his presentation, I learned more about the history of our nation than I did in three years of high school history (though that’s not saying much).

For example: have you ever heard of Sundown Towns? Those are towns that put up signs, rang sirens, and even enacted ordinances to keep out Blacks. Their heyday was during the first 4 decades of the 20th century and, Loewen claimed, there were over 500 in Ilinois alone. Closer to home, he cited Edina as Minnesota Sundown Town. I guess, in the 1920s, Edina’s slogan was “Not one Negro, Not one Jew.” Loewen says Edina has made good progress in the past 80 years, because now they have one of each. Ha! Now that’s funny.

Loewen began his presentation by polling the audience. He said: raise your hand and vote on what you feel was the cause of the Southern States’ secession from the Union in 1860. Here were the choices:

1. Slavery

2. States’ rights

3. Lincoln’s election

4. Taxes and tariffs (issues)

Loewen conducted this survey to prove a point, that being how uninformed Americans are about their own history. Now, the trouble is, I don’t think the survey was fair (and I say this as someone who selected the correct answer). Take a look at those choices. Which one would you pick? If you’re like most people in the audience, you probably think: “Well, it can’t be #1, because that’s what I’ve been taught to believe, and Loewen is here to argue that I was taught wrong.” Then you probably think: “It might be #4, because that’s the last one, and if the correct answer were to appear sooner than that, it would wreck the ‘gimmick’ he’s got going on.” Then you might think: “I’ll just raise my hand slowly, after everyone else has, and just go with the majority.”

Loewn claimed that the correct answer was #1, though he admitted #3 was an acceptable response as well (that’s the one I picked). Interestingly, about 65% of the audience picked #2, and Loewen claimed that was the exact wrong response, because the South was not against states’ rights, they were for them. In which case, I cry foul – the above options did not stipulate if the Southern states were for or against any of the options above, it merely listed the reasons neutrally, as I have shown.

But I hate to rip on the good Professor. Overall, I’d say it was one of the 5 or 6 best talks I have ever listened to (and THAT’S saying something).

16 March 2010

The three of us took a walk today. On our way back home, we were stopped by a tall older man, with an eye patch and a white cane. (I’ve included a link here so you’ll know what I’m talking about, ’cause I didn’t know what it was called until I looked it up, and I didn’t want to say “that thing that blind people have”.)

Anyway, he asked us if we heard about the deer, the skunk, and the duck.

“Um, no, we haven’t,” I said, not sure what to expect.

“Well,” he began, happy for the opening, “The deer, the skunk, and the duck go into a bar and they have some drinks. When they’re done, do you know who paid?”

“Um, no.”

“Well, the deer didn’t have a buck, the skunk didn’t have a (s)cent, so they put it all on the duck’s bill.”

Ba-dum-POW! More hilarity!

Also today, Owen and I played with his microscope. We looked at protozoans and human hair. More importantly, though, I want to point out the box that houses the microscope. Check this out:

Okay, so I hope you can see that the side of the box lists some of the features of the microscope. It also shows five pictures inside circles. Though it doesn’t say, I think it’s safe to assume these are some of the sights you can see when you use the scope. One looks like an amoeba, another one looks like a close up of a leaf, or maybe it’s a feather. But the one on bottom right, well, have a look for yourself:

Um…that’s sperm. SPERM! Holy crap!

Now, just to be clear here: my wife and I do not shelter our son from the “facts of life” (god, whatever happened to Charlotte Rae?). When he asks where babies come from, we tell him. When he asks how the baby got in there, we tell him. We also promote learning, especially about the sciences. In fact, I think looking at sperm through the scope might be quite fascinating. So, what floors me is not the adult content, nor the idea of learning about such things. What floors me is this: how do the microscope’s manufacturers expect these young explorers to collect this specimen?