Monday, 05 September 2011

Today is Labor Day, so if you’re a woman, make sure you stop wearing white until next spring.

What better way to spend labor day than working on our home(s)? More packing…more moving.

I’m kind of disappointed with how much work rose bushes require. Everyday we go to our new place, the bushes look positively parched and, in the 10 days (or so) that they’ve belonged to me, they haven’t exactly flourished. Owen and I set the hose underneath each bush this afternoon, letting the water drain out onto the roots for 20+ minutes each time. I’m kind of split on this matter. On the one hand, rose bushes are pretty. On the other hand, if a plant requires that much care from me, then maybe they aren’t meant to live on the south side of a home in Minnesota.

Also: my wife has added a blog post detailing Isla’s first birthday. Click and enjoy!

Tuesday, 06 September 2011

The big news today is that Owen began first grade.

This year, his school is beginning to implement free breakfast for all students. I think this is a great idea, and if my college was serious about students receiving a quality education, I think they would initiate free breakfast as well. (I know, I know, it all boils down to money. But believe you me – Hamline is not cash-strapped.)

The system was a little chaotic this morning, but I give the school lots of leeway on day one. The menu listed a hot item, but all the food was cold. Owen had two choices of beverage (milk or OJ), two varieties of cold cereal, a bag of apple slices, yogurt, a bag of cinnamon-flavored cookies, and a granola bar. The woman who normally collects payment during lunch was at her post, but instead of taking money, she checked to make sure each child had what they needed; she reminded Owen to get a napkin and spoon.

After getting his breakfast together, Owen and I walked back to his new classroom and he sat at his desk and began eating. In all my years of compulsory education, I never, ever ate in the classroom. The only exception was when the birthday boy or girl would show up with a cake but, there again, I didn’t partake.

So now I’m wondering how this will go – what if Owen or one of his classmates spills their cereal onto the carpet? Will have drunk OJs and rotting apple slices stink up the garbage during the day? I’m sure they’ve thought about all this, but I hope it goes well.

Wednesday, 07 September 2011

Here’s an article on the death of reference books.

I absolutely love reference books. At the book store and the library, it’s the section I gravitate too. When I was a kid and people asked me what books were my favorite, I would say reference (or sometimes I’d say “general knowledge”). I loved those books – like encyclopedias, the Guinness Book, The Book of Lists, and The Top 10 of Everything, that attempted to encapsulate human knowledge into a single tome. Sure, if I wanted a deeper understanding of, say, astronomy, I’d have to look elsewhere, but for a topical overview – a quick reference – there were no better books. So, it should be obvious that I should mourn the loss of reference books.

To an extent, I do. However, another part of me wonders: Why purchase a reference book on the Presidents (for example) when everything I’d want to know about them is online? See, if reference books were declining in popularity due to a decline in American literacy or a rise in idiocracy, then I’d be sad. But when the old form has simply been replaced with a superior form, then I don’t care as much.

Granted, reference books have their place. I still keep dictionaries around the home(s) and office. If I’m reading a book and I don’t know a word, it’s much easier to look up a word in the old Webster’s, than to boot up the computer, open the internet, hope I have a good connection, and then type in the word. But even given that, the above cited article is just stupid.

Author John Walsh says this regarding the supposed superiority of print reference materials:

It’s precisely the kind of detail you’ll find in a dictionary – and only in a paper dictionary with words on pages. There’s shibboleth, and its fascinating etymology, in the current OED, and in my 10th-edition Chambers. But if I look it up online, on www.dictionary.cambridge.org, I’m given only the definition.

…Um, here’s your problem idiot: you only visited to one website. If anything, this shows the superiority of online resources; if your print dictionary doesn’t have what you’re looking for, then you’re out of luck, but if a website doesn’t have what you need, you can easily go to another website.

He also bizarrely lambastes one Collins’ website for stating that their next print dictionary will omit several words that are no longer used. This is another point for online sources: since there are no space constraints, online dictionaries don’t have to ever remove any words.

Walsh then next complains that there are new words coming into existence! Does this man not know that language evolves? And that English, perhaps more than any other language in history, grabs words from all over the globe? I don’t care if you’re 19 or 91 – you will sound like an old fart if you complain about new things for no other reason than because they are new. Oh no! “Retweet” is now a word! Oh my god! What is civilization coming to? And no one is using “Victrola” anymore! For shame!

Walsh then gives himself away by inferring that new words and online media don’t give him the same nostalgia as old words and print media. That, pretty much, negates all his other arguments. But I appreciate the delayed honesty.

Thursday, 01 September 2011

Owen’s school hosted an orientation this afternoon. I had not planned on attending but, as luck would have it, I spent my early afternoon at my employer’s other location – the one closer to my home(s) – and, finishing early, I found myself done with work about a half hour before the orientation began and only 10 minutes from home(s).

Owen’s first grade teacher is new to his school. She’s been teaching in the St. Paul area for most of my life, but according to the dossier she supplied, this is her first time teaching at this particular school. We arrived with Owen’s school supplies and, to our delight, the teacher allowed the kids to select the place they wanted to sit. Owen chose a spot near the teacher’s desk by the window, and Jennifer helped him put his supplies inside his desk.

The teacher asked Owen what his favorite subject was. Math was the answer. After talking with him and my my wife for a couple of minutes, the teacher showed them the course curriculum for math and they all agreed he’s already above that.

So, I’m not sure what to do about that. If Owen ends up bored in his favorite subject, that’s not good, is it? Maybe he needs to skip ahead; I don’t know. When I was in first grade, the teacher met with my parents and suggested that I skip 2nd grade. My parents, in their infinite wisdom, declined this offer because I was too small. (Yeah…that’s always baffled me. I mean, I’m no line-backer, but I’m not freakishly tiny either.)

In a later conversation, Jennifer and I again bemoaned the constant trial that is the Education of Owen (a phraseology we often use to hearken THIS FILM – featuring another case of educational difficulty). Basically, we agreed that it’s tough to know what to do with a kid who excels in some areas, is right on target in other areas, and is behind in still other areas.

Friday, 02 September 2011

Once again, I feel like I’m on the eve of some very busy, stressful times.

We are moving in about a week. Well, we’ve kind of been moving for a week already, but next weekend is when we’re renting a truck and loading up the stuff that makes a place a home – beds, toiletries, clothes, and food.

But before that happens, Owen will be beginning first grade and I will be starting up another semester at Hamline.

I’m also being transferred to a new cube at my job. After over four years in the same cube – during which time absolutely everyone around me has come and gone – I will be packing up and relocating to building #3. It will be my fourth cube since being hired. It will also mean that, for the first time ever, I will have cubed in all three buildings here at my job.

Two weeks from now, Jennifer, Isla, and I are taking off for Atlanta, too, so there’s that to think about.

Fretting about all the activities coming up is very taxing. That’s why I enjoyed when a friend sent me a link to this video today:

Saturday, 03 September 2011
Today, my parents-in-law came over to our house and helped us get things ready for the big move in.
My father-in-law showed up with a bizarre torture device that can amputate vines from 10 feet away. This allowed me to prune the rose bushes that are growing up the side of our house. I like the look of plants growing on the home (and I know it helps with heating and cooling), but Jennifer and I wanted to trim them away from the windows so as to let in some light.
We also swapped out the wax ring on the upstairs toilet, which wasn’t nearly as satisfying as it sounds.
Then we ordered pizza.

Sunday, 04 September 2011
Today we spent the day at Jennifer’s uncle and aunt’s house in Forest Lake. Ostensibly, the event was a baby shower for the newest addition to the family, but the gift opening took up about 8 minutes of the 8 hours.
Speaking of the baby: she’s the daughter of my wife’s brother and his wife. She was born in late July – just before Isla’s first birthday. Today was my first time meeting her. It’s funny, I keep referring to her as Isla’s cousin. She is Isla’s cousin, of course, but she’s also Owen’s cousin, too. But, in my brain, it must seem like a little baby belongs with Isla, whereas my five year old nieces seem like they go with Owen even though they are just as much Isla’s cousins. Very confusing.
I talked with my other brother-in-law while at the shower today, too. I asked him for an update on Pop Fizz, which is some here’s-what’s-cool-today website and daily email that he has co-created. He said they are looking for more advertisers. So, you know, if you need to advertise your services, you might want to think of advertising with Pop Fizz. Or just sign up for their daily emails and help my brother-in-law earn a living.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Our trusty vacuum took a trip with me to A 1 Vacuum Cleaners today. We’ve owned the vacuum since 2001 and, apart from a new filter back in 2007 (or was it 2006?), I haven’t performed a whole lot of maintenance on the thing.

I told the saleslady that the vacuum needed a new filter, and maybe a new belt. She had me wheel the vacuum back into their shop area. I hoisted it up onto a carpeted counter and a man immediately began unscrewing the housing off the bottom. He pulled out the belt, said the product number out loud, and told me that, yes, I needed to buy a new belt.

When the woman returned with a new belt, he held the new and the old up together and the woman said, “See, look how stretched out that belt was.”

“Yeah,” I said in amazement. And, also, ’cause I had nothing else to say.

She pointed out that people often think they don’t need a new belt. The take out the old one, examine it, see no signs of fatigue, and put it back in. But what they don’t realize, she explained, is that the existing belt has stretched out like crazy. Basically, my belt looked like Pluto’s orbit, and it should have looked like Neptune’s:

She then told me that the price of replacing the belt was $9.95. “Is that alright?” she asked. I shrugged and said sure. Then she said, “And the belt itself is $3.95.”

I was confused.

“Wait,” I said, shaking my head. And before I could ask anymore, she clarified that the belt itself was $3.95, but the labor cost $9.95.

I thought this was a little shift – she waited until the man had disassembled my vacuum and was in the process of securing the new one into position before asking me if the labor cost was acceptable. I could have said no, but then the man would have had to undo the labor he just did. So I acquiesced.

I went up front to pay and then she asked if I wanted that man to also install the new filter for me. “Would that cost me another ten bucks?” I asked. She laughed, and so did the other employee sitting nearby. No, she explained, the $9.95 is just a flat fee for small jobs, and there’s no extra charge for one more minute of labor. I could put in the new filter myself, but I figured as long as I was paying the guy, he might as well do it for me.

The man came out about five minutes later – like a doctor coming out to the waiting room to report on the condition of a family member undergoing surgery. He told me the housing for the filter was very dirty, and the rubber gasket that connects it to the tubing was not sitting correctly, and that the whole inside was caked with sheetrock dust. He said, if I didn’t mind waiting, that he would clean out that dust and fix the gasket. So, again, wanting to maximize my dollar, I said I’d wait.

He took a super powerful, but tiny, vacuum and sucked out sheetrock dust from at least 5 years ago. He cleaned out the housing and lined up the gasket just right. All in all, I waited about 15 minutes, but now we have a good-as-new 10 year old vacuum. We are ready to suck!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

I received an email today from the author of WikiHow’s “How to Leave Jehovah’s Witnesses,” and oddly titled and ridiculously short article that offers a step-by-step process on how to leave that religion once you’ve decided it’s not for you.

He told me that he used some information from my newspaper interview back in 2009 in which I told a local paper to not fall for the gilded smiles knocking on their doors on Saturday mornings.

I’ve gotta admit: I’m not really sure what details he gleaned from the article that enhanced his WikiHow entry, but I thanked him and told him to keep up the good work. Whether it’s Witness stuff or brewing beer, I like to see the stuff I put on the internet getting used.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

I’m pleased to find out that Maroon Five’s “Move Like Jagger” has gone to #1 this week.

It’s good to see a non-Hip-hop song at #1 again, especially since that genre has dominated the charts for about 18 years now. I also think this song marks the best use of whistling in a #1 hit since Roxette’s Joyride:

This marks yet another #1 Mick Jagger-related song. Let’s see how many there are, okay?

First, the Rolling Stones had eight #1 songs…

1) Satisfaction (1965)

2) Get Off My Cloud (1965)

3) Paint It, Black (1966)

4) Ruby Tuesday (1967)

5) Honky Tonk Women (1969)

6) Brown Sugar (1971)

7) Angie (1973)

and

8) Miss You (1978)

In 1972, Don McLean had a #1 hit with “American Pie,” and though he’s not explicitly mentioned, there seems little doubt that the fifth verse references Jagger. A year later, Carly Simon hit #1 with “You’re So Vain,” with Jagger on back-up vocals. Last year, he was mentioned by name in Kesha’s #1 hit “Tik Tok.”

…So I think that makes a total of 12 Jagger-related tunes. Am I missing any?

Friday, 26 August 2011

If you scroll up to the top of this page, you’ll notice that just under the title, there are three tabs. One tab says “Home.” That’s the tab you’re on now. Another tab says “About James,” where I provide a smart-ass explanation of this blog then segue into a list of things I’ve learned in my 36 years (copied and updated from a post I made on my birthday last year). The third tab is “Books I’ve Read This Year.” Click on it. Go ahead, I dare you.

What’s that you say? Nothing’s there? That’s right. Ive been trying on and off for weeks to get a workable, coherent list there, and I have consistently failed. What I envision is a list with four columns: Book title, author, my letter grade for the book, and a brief review. I have figured out how to import a list, but it’s static – meaning that in order to update it – and that’s something I’d like to do every week or so – I’d have to re-import a whole new list.

That’s not too big of a deal, really, because I could just maintain a list on a computer file, update it as necessary, then re-import it. But the bigger issue is that I want it to be sort-friendly; that is, I want to be able to click on a header and have the list sort by the items in that column. So, if I want to sort by author, I can do that. If I want to sort by grade – to see a regression of books I’ve that have received an A, B, C, D, and F – then I can do that, too.

Here’s an example of a sortable list. Notice that you can click on the arrows in any heading and the list then immediately sorts by that column, either ascending (one click) or descending (two clicks). That’s what I want.

Can anyone help?

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Yesterday, we closed on our new house. We have rented out our apartment until late September, though, so there’s no rush to move. Jennifer wants to clean the new house and paint some of the rooms before we’ve moved everything in. I have scheduled a truck rental for September 10th, so if anyone can help on that day, that’d be great. Our plan (and we are making headway on this already) is to have most of the boxes moved over before then, so that on the 10th we just need to pack up and move the big stuff: beds, dressers, bookshelf, table, chairs.

We spent some time at our new place today, and Jennifer’s mom came over to help us clean the kitchen. I spent most of the time watching the kids, and while Isla was sleeping (at our apartment), I busied myself doing dishes and cleaning our apartment so that it doesn’t become totally trashed during our final days here.

The next 15 days will be busy ones: besides cleaning our new home and our old one, Owen will be beginning first grade, I will start back in my never-ending career at Hamline, I’m slated to move to a new cube to be closer to my new co-workers and lab (finally!) and we need to plan for a trip to Atlanta, which begins on September 18th.

All this makes me very stressed-out, especially considering I don’t live with the two most easy-going kids in the world, either. But thanks to Jennifer’s mom, and thanks to anyone else who can help – it eases the stress and makes the job more fun!

Sunday, 28 August 2011

As home-owners, we made our obligatory first trip to Menards this afternoon.

Here’s how Isla sits in the shopping cart:

Before you get too worried about her safety, I’d like to point out that she is buckled in. But since even facing the wrong way in a shopping cart gets boring after a while, Isla next decided to take a more active role in our shopping excursion:

This makes for slow going.

Later, at our new place, Owen tried out our new hose:

Little sister watches with delight as Owen says, “I finally have a hose!”

Later, I went out to my car to retrieve some things. When I walked back towards the front door, I saw Isla standing there, waiting for me. This immediately reminded me of Owen, when he was little, also standing at the door watching me when I went out to get the mail or do something with the cars. It was funny to think I hadn’t seen anything like that in over three years – our apartment door, after all, has no windows and is on the third floor, so there’s no way for anyone to watch for me. Instead, I just surprise them when I walk in the door.

How cute is this? I just had to take a picture.

This evening, back at our apartment, the four of us relaxed in front of the TV. We watched Muppets from Space and snacked on pop-corn. We HAD to do this. The reason why we had to do this is because, on Owen’s last day of Kindergarten, his teacher gave him (and all the other students) blank calendars and twenty stickers with twenty different summertime activities. Since that day, Owen has worked hard to try and complete each activity. Some were easy – such as going to the park, going for a walk, and watching the fireworks. Others we had to make special plans to do – such as star-gazing, making rice krispies, sending a postcard to someone far away, and going to a museum. The final sticker on the list was to have a family movie night and eat pop-corn. Now the goal is accomplished. Owen is ready for first grade.

Owen attaches the final of his twenty stickers.

Owen proudly stands next to his June, July, and August calendars, while pointing to today’s date. Notice the blank strip to the left of the calendars – that’s where the stickers were originally hanging.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Yesterday, while dining at Buca with my wife for our anniversary, Jennifer suggested that we think of some of the best things from each year of our marriage. After deciding it was easiest to go by calendar year, we commenced with 1996 and proceeded from there.

For some years, it was really hard to think of good things. A couple of times, I said things that weren’t very good, and Jennifer said to only think of the positive memories. Of course, every year has had happy memories, but we were generally sticking with larger events. What I mean is, there have been numerous times when Jennifer and I have stayed up late, watched a movie and shared a bowl of pop-corn. Those are some good times – and I’m sure that’s happened at least once every year, but we were concentrating mostly on the bigger memories rather than on the day-to-day happenings.

For 2005, we mentioned Owen’s birth, of course. And when we got to 2010, we mentioned Isla’s birth. We thought of when our cats first came to live with us, and we thought of new jobs and new homes and going to college and going on vacation. In fact, we thought of lots of vacations. This might seem a bit shallow – to suggest that the best times in life are the artificially constructed good times wherein we purposely put our normal lives on hold and retreat to some other part of the world for a few days – but, hey, vacations are memorable. And some of them have been quite good. Here then are, in my opinion, the five best vacations that Jennifer and I have gone on together as a married couple…

1) Our Honeymoon (1996)

We ‘honeymooned’ in Hudson, Wisconsin, a town that’s barely outside the Twin Cities area. So, I’m not even sure this qualifies as a vacation. Nevertheless, I loved getting away from all the crazy stress of our lives at that time and venturing off to somewhere where no one knew where we were. We stayed at the Jefferson Day House and spent three days dining in nice restaurants, playing on the beach, touring historic sites, and doing what newly-married couples do.

2) Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island (2001)

For our five year anniversary, we took off in our first airplane ride together. Jennifer, a big fan of Anne of Green Gables, had always wanted to see Prince Edward Island. We spent the first night in Nova Scotia, then a week on the island. Everything was gorgeous. It was on this trip that I first realized I loved seafood. We spent several evenings at Prince Edward Island National Park, watching the sun set over the Atlantic. On our last evening, we sat in an old church and listened to some local acts playing their music and dancing. Jennifer was actually sad to leave, and I assured her we’d go again someday. That was ten years ago…

3) Two Harbors (2002)

Having been up to Duluth as children (for Jehovah’s Witnesses conventions), Jennifer and I desired to go back up to the North Shore and see it as adults. Jennifer found Northern Rail, a perfect balance between bed-and-breakfast and hotel. We took in the local sites: Gooseberry Falls, Split Rock Lighthouse, The Lake Superior Zoo, The Glensheen Mansion, and The Great Lakes Aquarium. In the evenings, we got back to our hotel early, dined at Betty’s Pies, and watch TV. That was our first time seeing Survivor, a show we’ve watched ever since.

4) Bluefin Bay (2004)

Traveling further north than we’d ever been in Minnesota, Jennifer and I took part in a family trip with her parents and her brother and sister. We all stayed in one beautiful condo that overlooked Lake Superior. On our first evening there, we all went out to eat together and Jennifer announced that she was pregnant. Everyone was surprised and happy for us. For the next three days, we pretty much just stayed around the condo, played games and ate awesome food.

5) Caribbean Cruise (2004)

Less than a month after getting home from the Bluefin Bay Trip, Jennifer and I (again accompanied by her brother and his wife), flew down to Florida. There, we met up with more relatives and boarded a cruise ship that took us to the Bahamas and Key West. Again, there was more great food. We snorkled, played games, watched live shows, toured Hemingway’s house, the Key West Winery, and a maritime museum. There was a long, cold winter ahead of us, but it was great being in the hot sun for a few days. Even if I did get bad sunburn on my back.