Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Today is our wedding anniversary. Jennifer and I have been married for 15 years (as of 3:30 this afternoon).

We always do something special – something out of the ordinary – on the day of our anniversary. Sometimes, we plan bigger trips, too. For example, on our 5 year anniversary we vacationed in Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. For our six year anniversary, we spent a long weekend on Lake Superior at the Northern Rail Train and Suites. And on our ten year anniversary we stayed in Hudson, Wisconsin and had a party on the river with our friends and family. But none of these things took place on the actual day of our anniversary. This year, for example, we’re going to spend a few days in Atlanta as an anniversary celebration, but that’s still a few weeks out yet.

So, every year, we (usually me) try to find something to do on August 24th.

Today we paid a visit to the Foshay Tower Museum (which, sadly, appears to not have a better website than THIS). The Foshay Tower was the first skyscraper west of the Mississippi. Its 1929 completion made it the tallest building in Minnesota – a title it held for over 40 years. It is now the 17th tallest building in Minneapolis, meaning its dwarfed by other nearby buildings. Still, those other buildings stupidly lack an observation deck or public viewing area. The IDS Center, for example, used to have a viewing area until a law firm bought out the space. Huh. That’s funny. Lawyers wrecking something?

Jennifer and I going all the way on our anniversary.

The museum on the Foshay’s 30th floor was small but entertaining. We watched an old Felix the Cat cartoon and saw documents from Roosevelt and Truman.

After spending about 45 minutes in the museum, we walked up the remaining two floors to the observation deck. The view was literally breath-taking, as the wind quite strong on the west side of the building. We looked down upon the Twins’ Stadium, the Metrodome, and we looked over at other tall buildings. We could see for miles – even downtown St. Paul was visible. It was, actually, a little scary. Isla was riding on my back and I kept reaching behind and holding onto her legs, a little worried that she might decide to launch herself off the edge.

Look at that breeze! (or, more accurately: Look at the effect of the breeze on that hair!)

The Foshay’s reflection can be seen in the other building.

Here’s a photo that my friend Tim took from the observation deck during his visit to the Foshay Tower back in May.

After that harrowing experience, we explored around the building’s lobby for a while. The building is largely a hotel now.
Instead of calling it the Foshay Hotel like they should, they call it the W Hotel, which is stupid. Anyway, we looked around at the conference rooms and Owen and I tried out the bathrooms that were so insanely fancy-schmancy that he couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet and I couldn’t figure out how to turn on the sink. Isla started fussing and the business men, in their high-faluttin’ meetings, looked out at us, wondering why people who make less than $350,000 a year were loitering around their turf. We left and went across the street to buy a snack.

Later, Jennifer and I (this time sans progeny) dined at Buca, an experience made even better by virtue of a free dessert coupon and a gift card Buca gave me for whining about their food and service last time.

Happy Anniversary to my wife and me! Next year: a fun, unique day at ground level.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Yesterday, even though we did not plan to cross the highway, Owen insisted on riding his bike over the bridge. So Jennifer and Isla waited while Owen and I trekked across the bridge and then back.
Here’s a photo of the event:

Owen crossing the highway on bike.

In other news…we’re packing up to move. Today we packed about 20 boxes. I’m wondering how many boxes we can pack before it starts to look like we’re making headway. We’ve got a lot of stuff.

Monday, 22 August 2011

I talked to my Dad this evening. Turns out, he and my stepmom and getting their home prepared for Hurricane Irene. The storm is currently on its way to the Dominican Republic and is slated to be a category 3 (presumably on the Saffir-Simpson Scale) by the time it reaches Florida’s east coast.

My Dad assured me that the preparations are a little bit easier than last time. He and my stepmom now live in a condo, so someone else worries about the outside of the house. I hope they and the rest of my Floridian relatives fare alright.

In other news, here’s another awesome video featuring a former Star Trek: The Next Generation cast member:

And if you liked that, don’t forget to watch this, too:

Also – if you consider yourself a Minnesotan and an atheist – and at least an adequate writer, then you can submit your story here for possible publication in Atheist Voices of Minnesota.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Today marks 11 years that we have owned our Chevy Cavalier. As you may recall (if you have a phenomenal memory), I have been tracking the roll-over of each 1,000 miles since last summer. I wanted to see, first, if the vehicle would last ten years and, second, how long I could expect it to last. My father-in-law predicted that I could get another 50,000 miles out of the Cavalier. He said that back when the car had only 150,000 miles on it.

So here are the miles the old rust-bucket has been logging…

150,000	July 6, 2010
151,000	Sept 8, 2010
152,000	Oct 1, 2010
153,000	Oct 26, 2010
154,000	Nov 17, 2010
155,000	Dec 14, 2010
156,000	Jan 14, 2011
157,000	Feb 9, 2011
158,000	Mar 7, 2011
159,000	Apr 5, 2011
160,000	Apr 29, 2011
161,000	May 24, 2011
162,000	June 21, 2011
163,000	July 26, 2011

As you can see, I’ve been going roughly a thousand miles a month. The largest gap – between 150,000 miles and 151,000 miles – was 63 days long, and much of that time was taken up with my paternity leave, during which time I did not drive to work. The shortest gap was the very next one, where I went another thousand miles in only 23 days. Yuck!

It looks, then, like I travel about a thousand miles a month in my Cavalier, meaning it has three more years until it logs 200,000 miles. I hope it lasts that long. It’s been a reliable car – apart from a new tire in January and new front brakes earlier this month, I haven’t had to put much money into it.

August 2014: The month I finally replace my Cavalier. ????

Saturday, 20 August 2011

If my last post was a little too heavy for you, here’s some lighter fair:

Secretary of State Approves Marriage Statute.

Good news from Maine! The bad news is, this make Minnesota look even worse as we fall further behind, but overall, it’s good news.

Secondly, I can’t think of a better way to spend the first 15 seconds after getting engaged than what this couple did…

Thirdly…
Oh my god! Oh my god! This is awesome – the band with the best music videos ever has teamed up with the…well, I don’t want to spoil it. Just watch the video:

Very awesome (even if they do say “it’s time to put on music”). I’ll be at my computer on August 23rd.

Friday, 19 August 2011

If you enter “why do atheists” into Google, here are a few things that pop up:

Why do atheists attack religion?

Why do atheists hate Christians?

Why do atheists care about religion?

Why do atheists debate theists?

Why do atheists care what others believe?

Why do atheists and skeptics continually bash Christianity?

Why do atheists hate my god?

Why do atheists ridicule Christianity?

…okay, you get the idea. The point is, lots of people wonder why non-believers feel the need to pick on belief, particularly Christianity. Ignoring the hypocrisy for now, it’s a fair question to ask. I mean, I’ve quit jobs in the past, but I don’t ‘bash’ them. I’m fine with the fact that other people – very kind and friendly people – continue to work for employers that I have deemed unacceptable for myself.

So why not the same for Christianity? If I wanted to  leave Christianity, fine, but why bother to ‘continually’ pick on it? Can’t I just leave people to worship (or not worship) as they desire? It’s a free country, after all.

Here’s your answer:

…and if you can’t get through that without feeling enraged – or at least sick to your stomach – then you’re more of a Vulcan than I am.

So, in the ironically-named town of Paradise, a mom and a dad beat their daughter to death. And they’re Christians. Big surprise. And remember: Christianity is supposed to be a religion of love and moral superiority.

The people in the video reference Proverbs (ha!) 13:24, where it says: “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (New International Version). I once attended a presentation where the minister noted that “rod” came from the Hebrew word “shebet,” which was the staff that shepherds used to gently guide their sheep. If that’s true (and the logistical wrangling of sites SUCH AS THIS ONE seem to indicate that it is true), the Kevin and Elizabeth Schotz become two more of billions of bible who can’t seem to figure out what the bible really meant. You’d think an omnipotent deity could write a more coherent book.

Apart from attributing their deplorable behavior to the Holy Bible, the report also notes the influence from Michael and Debi Pearl’s book To Train Up a Child, a book which advocates beating your children with a branch or a spatula because, well, ’cause the ‘good’ book says to, that’s why.

During the interview, notice that Michael Pearl says that if a young boy, around seven years old, slapped his sister, the appropriate way to discipline the boy would be to “explain to him that what he’s done is violent and that that’s not acceptable in society,” then take him into his bedroom and give him 15 licks with a belt. And note, this wouldn’t be done in the heat of anger (which is still bad, but…). Oh no, this is fully premeditated, in which you take the boy into his room and ‘rationally’ explain that you’re going to beat him. Maybe to death.

These assholes thought could write a book even more disgusting than the bible. Nice try, fuckers, you’ll have to try harder next time.

Once Kevin realized his god-approved discipline had caused his girl to become unconscious and unresponsive, he began praying for a miracle. Just kidding. Seems that even a dipshit like Kevin knows that prayer is useless – in his moment of distress, when his daughter really, really needed help, he called not god, but 911. Paramedics came and used their wicked, evil, Satanic, evolution-promotin’ Science to try and keep the girl alive. The other children were taken away from their Christian mom and pop and, once again, non-godly science was used to treat their injuries.

Kevin and Elizabeth pleaded guilty and will be in prison for at least 22 and 12 years, respectively. This helps answer that age-old question: how much is a little girl’s life worth? Apparently 32 years.

Huh. That’s funny. What does the bible say about people who kill other people?

“Whoever strikes a man so that he dies shall be put to death” (Exodus 21:12, English Standard Version).

So maybe they should just be killed. Oh wait – that scripture just talks about the killing of a man. Measly children (especially a female child) probably don’t matter as much. (They don’t.)

Butte heads: Kevin and Elizabeth: charged with doing what the bible says.

Actually, though, I’m just kidding. I don’t think they should be killed. If I did, I’d be guilty of the same hypocrisy that I just accused the Peal’s of earlier in this post. Instead, I hope prison affords them a chance to get their heads out of their asses.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the fun of tracking Billboard’s #1 hits is the TRIVIA! Today, a performer tied a new record on Billboard’s Hot 100 and, even though I’m not a fan of this performer, I think it’s a pretty cool record and so I’m gonna talk about it here.

Today, singer Katy Perry scored a #1 hit with her song “Last Friday Night” (go ahead and click on the link – the music video is actually kind of fun, especially if you grew up in the 1980s). This marks the fifth #1 song Perry has scored from her album Teenage Dream. The other four #1 hits were:

California Gurls [sic] (hit #1 on June 19, 2010)

Teenage Dream (hit #1 on September 18, 2010)

Firework (hit #1 on December 18, 2010)

E.T. (hit #1 on April 9, 2011)

This is an amazing feat. The album, like most, has 12 tracks on it, meaning that nearly half the songs on the album have gone to #1. This is a rare feat indeed. In fact, no one’s ever done better.

But notice I said she TIED the record? Who, you ask, shares this record with Perry?

I’m glad you asked.

Well, you might be inclined to think of some of the biggest albums from the past 50 years, such as Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon or Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy or Nirvana’s Nevermind. Well, those are pretty lousy guesses actually. Many of rock’s mainstays preferred to not cannibalize their albums by selling the individual songs separately so, in fact, those three albums had a combined total of zero number one hits (and, in fact, Nirvana and Led Zeppelin never had any #1 hits).

Dark Side of the Moon: This enormously selling album scored exactly zero #1 hits.

“Well, then, maybe it was an album that sold well and released separate songs as singles, like the Bee Gees’ Saturday Night Fever or Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA. Those are better guesses – Saturday Night Fever yielded four #1 songs, though, not five. Born in the USA, meanwhile, suffered from a case of really bad luck: it managed to rack up seven top ten singles, but nary a one went all the way to the top (“Dancing in the Dark” stalled at #2).

Back Side of the Springsteen: This enormously selling album also scored exactly zero #1 hits.

“Ah,” you say, “but those albums weren’t big enough! If we’re talking BIG albums, we’re talking Thriller.”

To which I respond: “Yes, Thriller is the best selling album of all time. But since people liked the whole album, they just bought the whole album, not the singles. Thriller ‘only’ achieved two #1 hits.”

Thriller only logged two number one hits? Beat it!

“Oh, well then the record must’ve been set by someone famous for individual songs instead of individual albums, such as Madonna, Mariah Carey, Paula Abdul, or George Michael. ”

These are better guesses. Madonna twice scored three #1 songs from two of her albums, but that’s the best she ever did. Mariah Carey and Paula Abdul, meanwhile, each hit the #1 spot four times with songs from a single album, but not five.

Straight Up now tell me: Would you believe Forever Your Girl garnered FOUR number one hits?

I’m not sure if this album yielded four different #1 songs, or just took the same song to #1 four times.

George Michael, incidentally, came the closest. He achieved #1 four times with songs from his album Faith (“Father Figure,” “Monkey,” “Faith,” and “One More Try”). His song “I Want Your Sex,” however, petered out at #2.

What? You mean Faith wasn’t enough to secure five #1 hits? God, whodda thunk it?

So then you say: “What about Elvis?”

I say: “Sorry, Elvis churned out the albums so fast that none of them had time to churn out five number one hits. He did top the charts as a soloist more than any other act (17 times), but he never managed to wrangle more than two #1 hits off of any album.

So then you say: “Oh – now I know – it must’ve been the Beatles, right?”

Wrong. Like those classic rock acts listed above, the Beatles often preferred to leave their albums in tact. Rubber Soul, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and the white album all went to #1, but none of them were granted a chance at spawning any #1 hit singles. Additionally, they had the nasty habit of releasing some songs without putting them on any album. So even though “Day Tripper” and “Hey Jude” both went to #1, for example, neither of them were credited to a album. The Beatles’ album Help holds two number one songs (“Yesterday” and the title track), Abbey Road had only one, “Come Together,”  Let it Be had three (“Get Back,” “The Long and Winding Road,” and the title track) as did Magical Mystery Tour (“Hello Goodbye,” “Penny Lane,” and “All You Need is Love”). Technically, I suppose, you could argue that their album 1 had those most number one hits on it (20!), but that was compiled retroactively, so it doesn’t count.

All you need is 1: 20 Billboard #1 hits on a single album.

So who did score five number one hits from a single album?

Well, I’ve already said his name, but I threw you off by talking about the wrong album. Michael Jackson hit #1 five times with singles from Bad:

I Just Can’t Stop Loving You (hit #1 on September 18, 1987)

Bad (hit #1 on October 23, 1987)

The Way You Make Me Feel (hit #1 on January 22, 1988)

The Man in the Mirror (hit #1 on March 25, 1988)

Dirty Diana (hit #1 on July 1, 1988)

“Smooth Criminal,” incidentally stalled at #7.

Bad? Not bad.

Anyway, congrats to Perry for tying a record held by the King of Pop for nearly a quarter of a century. HERE’S THE LINK TO BILLBOARD DISCUSSING THE RECORD.

Katy Perry celebrates with class and style.