Verbisaurus Blogicus

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Today was Owen’s birthday party. He turned seven last Monday, so we’ve set a new record for largest gap between actual birthday and subsequent party (6 days).

The highlight of the party was a presentation by a mad scientist, courtesy of the Mad Science Group. I’m not sure why I just said “courtesy,” since we did have to pay for the presentation. Regardless, the kids seemed to enjoy themselves. The scientist used flames, color-changing liquids, and a bunch of dry ice – all of which make great visuals for 6 and 7 year-old kids (and there was one 4 year old in the bunch, too).

Afterward, there was the most frenetic gift-opening I’ve ever seen, in which all 10 guests (and that’s not including Owen’s sister, who was also in on the action) bombarded Owen with gifts to open. Some people brought two or three gifts for Owen, and some of the kids just randomly handed Owen one gift from a set so Owen really couldn’t keep track of who gave him which gift. He seemed to think the whole breakneck pace of opening gifts was just fine, though. We sorted through all the gifts later.

Then we had cake + ice cream. By this time, some of the parents came to pick up their kids, and some of the parents who had stayed for the duration decided to leave (it was the time the invitation said the party was over). So, we gave the kids their Mad Scientist gift bags and soon we were down to just five kids in the house, which was amazingly calm and quiet, relatively speaking.

About an hour later, another kid’s dad stopped by and picked him up, so then it was just our two kids and two friend and their moms. We ordered pizza.

A good day, I think. We were a little concerned having so many people at our house – especially when so many of them were under 10 years old. Owen’s last two birthday parties were not at our home, and the last time we did have a birthday party for Owen at our home (when he was four), was the smallest party he’s ever had (excluding when he was one). But I’m happy to say there were no major mishaps. Owen’s room wasn’t even that messy, though he inexplicably lost the remote control for his wall-mounted moon. No big deal. We’ll find it.

Jennifer says Owen’s next birthday party will be somewhere not here.

Monday, 21 May 2012

Just as the day after Christmas, Owen had to dig himself out from the festivities yesterday.

As of this morning, most of his gifts remained unopened. I mean, they’ve all been unwrapped, of course, but he hadn’t yet taken them out of the box or handled them or played with them as intended yet. This evening, he sat at the dining room table and put forth a concerted effort to construct one of his new Lego sets without any help.When he was done, he proudly showed us he’d pieced it together without any help. There were four pieces still sitting on the table. I was able to identify where two of those pieces connected, but the other two were likely supposed to be buried somewhere in the creation, so he didn’t get it quite right, but close enough.

Then he and Isla sat on the floor and played with more toys. Isla walked around with a small Yoda action figure. This was he gift to Owen, though it became apparent today that her desire to get it for Owen (when she saw it on the rack at the store) was just so she could play with it. She really digs Yoda. I think she can identify with a really short person.

Before bedtime, I asked Owen if he wanted to open up any more toys, but he said he’ll wait to another day. Sounds good to me.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Have you heard the story of Harmon?

An eaglet on Minnesota Bound’s Bald Eagle Cam was seen struggling for many hours, causing many people to write and call in asking if he could be helped.

Here’s the story: 

First, they inspected Harmon and took him out of the nest…

Then he had a thorough check-up and some medical attention at the Raptor Center:

Here’s the latest on Harmon:

Thursday, 17 May 2012
So, as I do every week, I headed over to Billboard.com this morning to check on the #1 song and album. The number one song, again, is Gotye’s “Somebody that I Used to Know.” That’s not terribly interesting. But what I did notice is this: We are now more than halfway through the fifth month of the year and every single #1 song’s title begins with a letter in the second half of the alphabet.
Yeah, I don’t know why I notice these things, but I do.
Here’s a list of the song that have achieved number one status so far this year:

“Sexy And I Know It” (LMFAO)
“Set Fire to the Rain” (Adele)
“Stronger” (Kelly Clarkson)
“Part of Me” (Katy Perry)
“We are Young” (Fun)
“Somebody that I Used to Know” (Gotye)
…That’s six songs that have gone to number one this year, that all begin with letters between N and Z. You can also add to this list the song “We Found Love” (by Rihanna), which was already number one when the year began (it thus counts as as a number one hit from 2011), and the total rises to seven. In fact, you’d have to go back to mid-October of last year to find the last time a #1 hit’s title was from the first half of the alphabet, when Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger” barely qualified for the top half.
I was curious…is this a record? The answer is: Yes.
As you can imagine, there are more #1 songs from the first half of the alphabet, and so most years begin the year with a song from A-M. In most other years, the second or third song of the year breaks whatever “streak” might have been starting. In fact, there has never been another year when the year began with more than three hits from the lower half of the alphabet. 2004 was the year to beat: there were three #1 songs in a row to kick off the year that began with the letters W, S, and Y, respectively. The fourth #1 song began with the letter B, and it hit #1 on May 22nd of that year. So, this week (posted for May 26th) beats both the number of #1 songs and the length of time (past May 22nd).
Pretty cool, huh? Alright, I know, it’s really dorky.

Friday, 18 May 2012
I took the day off work today to volunteer as a chaperon for my son’s first greade class. They – or, rather, we – went on a field trip to the Minneapolis Institute of Art.
I, and this other student’s mom, were assigned to watch over a group of eight students. I rode on the bus with them, which is always a trip, and when we got to the museum a guide was assigned to us.
I guess I had this idea that we would be walking around the museum on a guided tour, but instead, the guide just took us straight to certain pieces of art. This meant flying past other noteworthy pieces of art. It also meant having to weave around people a lot. I didn’t really like the style. We spent time sitting in front of, and discussing, about five pieces of art. There were another five or six pieces that we talked about in passing simply because one kid in the group thought it was “cool” or “neat.”
I think it was fieldtrip day at the museum, as the place seemed pretty full with groups of children. So, maybe the museum sets aside one day a year to whisk a bunch of kids through their halls.
This marks the second time I’ve been to the MIA without actually getting to look around. A couple of years ago, Jennifer, Owen, and I went with another family of three to attend the event “Rock the Cradle,” which is just a loud, crowded event at the museum that lets kids stand in line and wait for activities and get upset when they never get a chance.
Anyway, I’m done whining. All in all, I had a fun time, and I think Owen liked that I was there. Afterward, I joined him and his class for lunch in the school cafeteria, where, again, I had a fun time.

Saturday, 19 May 2012
Mere days after inquiring about my life insurance policy, my wife tried to kill me today.
After several hours of unremarkable weather, she asked if I wouldn’t mind going to the store to pick up a few grocery items. Cluelessly, I went outside and, sensing it was going to rain, decided to roll up the windows on my Cavalier. I then hopped in our Saturn and drove off to Mississippi Market.
Actually, I first stopped to get gas. Right as I was returning to my car after paying, it began raining. No big deal. I sprinted to the car and then continued on my way to the grocery store.
Almost immediately, it began raining. Like, REALLY raining. I had the wipers on high and, even then, my visibility was limited. Some drivers were pulling over to wait out the heavy downpour.
Then it began to hail. The hail was so loud in my car, I shut off the radio since I couldn’t even hear it. I began to worry that balls of ice were going to smash through the windshield. As I approached the grocery store, I decided to park under a tree to mitigate the hail damage at least a little bit.
During a brief respite from the hail, I ran inside, where an employee quickly corralled me into the bulk section – the one part of their store that is neither near windows nor under skylights. I waited there with a few other chumps for about ten minutes. Then they let us shop.
Jennifer seemed really happy that I made it home safe. But it might have been just an act.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Now that the semester is over, I’m diving right in to about half a dozen books I’ve been meaning to read. I’m now about halfway done with Guy Harrison’s 50 Popular Beliefs that People Think are True. Here’s a great excerpt from chapter 19, “Television News Gives Me an Accurate View of the World:”

The primary problem with most television news today is that it’s just nowhere near the reflection of reality that most viewers probably assume it is. Much is said about conservative and liberal biases in the news, but political favoritism is a trivial concern compared to the irrational fears and warped perspectives that TV generates. Political leanings are not the biggest problems with Fox News and MSNBC. The primary problems are that they illogically prioritize news coverage, cover politics like sports events, present tremendous amounts of nonsense as important news, fail on competent science reporting, and stroke fears unnecessarily. Anyone who doesn’t know how to assess television news for what it is and recognize the nonsense is likely to end up with a wildly inaccurate view of the world.

Later, he says:

I wish more people appreciated the unique power of a book. Not because I happen to write books, but because I sincerely believe that books (most of them) are good for the world. One could make a case for the book being the most important and powerful invention of all time. Given the impact of the book on human history, it certainly has to make top ten, no doubt.

And:

If one is short on time and has only thirty minutes or so per day for reading, I suggest spending five of it doing a high-speed headline-skim of a couple of the most reputable news sites or newspapers, then use the remaining twenty-five minutes turning the pages of a good mind-expanding book or science magazine. High-quality nonfiction books and science magazines offer two thing television news is unwilling or unable to provide much of these days: information presented in depth and a realistic perspective of the world.

So, yeah, I liked that stuff. Don’t misunderstand me, though, I’m not saying you should read the book. Like Harrison’s other similarly titled book, this one suffers from too many overlapping beliefs. A book covering only 40 (or, heck, any arbitrary number would do) would be better. Harrison also has a bad habit of talking about how awesome his life has been. For example, in one chapter discussing the supposed moon landing “hoax,” Harrison takes a good two paragraphs to talk about what a successful photographer he’s been. Also – in that same chapter – he says it’s just unbelievable that all those astronauts and NASA employees would have lied about the moon landing, yet in other chapters, he says that just because someone claims something is true, doesn’t make it true. So which is it?

Bottom line: decent book with a lot of overlap. Some annoying bits in it. The best bits are quoted above.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

This evening, I asked Jennifer if she was disappointed that her Mother’s Day wasn’t very special. I mean, Owen made her something from school, and we went out for yogurt, but otherwise…it wasn’t really a special day. Jennifer didn’t seem to care – she said it’s just a Hallmark Holiday. I agree – in fact, I’ve used that term for several holidays as well. She said she doesn’t like being told when to commemorate or acknowledge certain things in her life. It’s an added, unnecessary pressure.

Over the past half-decade, we’ve been pretty inconsistent with our holiday celebrations. On most New Year’s Eves, for example, we’ve done nothing, absolutely nothing. Not even “watching the ball drop.” But once we stayed at Jennifer’s parents’ house and stayed up ’til midnight with them. And just four months ago, we attended a New Year’s Eve party at a friend’s home. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Independence Day, Kwanzaa, and those Jewish holidays are other days we’ve observed to greatly varying degrees. Other holidays, such as MLK Day, President’s Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Labor Day, and Veteran’s Day are “special” days that we pretty much ignore. It seems we participate in them if something arises: like if a friend invites us over to watch the fireworks. The remaining four holidays are more consistent, bigger deal, primarily because we have children. 

Holidays just aren’t part of my tradition – they bring me no nostaliga, they don’t bring my extended family together, and I agree with Jennifer that they can be a bother. “Oh, look, it’s Mother’s Day,” I think, “I guess I should buy Jennifer something and see if she wants to go out to eat.”

Instead, I like our own holidays and special events that we, as a family, have created for ourselves.

Monday, 14 May 2012

Speaking of which, today is Owen’s birthday. He is seven years old.

A few weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to go to school on his birthday to pass out treats to his classmates, or if he wanted to stay home and go do something. Surprisingly, he wanted to go to school. I think he’s seen other classmates pass out treats on their birthdays, and so he wanted to do it to. So he brought in temporary tattoos. He also got to wear a special crown today announcing it was his birthday.

After school, I brought him home where Jennifer had wrapped and hidden several presents. The presents were all hidden on the main floor of our house, but since Owen is really bad at looking for things, it took quite a bit of clues for him to find everything. There was a small gift on the shelf in the porch, another one behind the clock on the mantle, one in the kitchen cabinets, another in the key holder, and – appropriately – a gift-wrapped book on the book shelf.

After that, we took off for a nearby park, where Jennifer took pictures of Owen wearing the same shirt and tie that he’s worn every year on his birthday. This is kind of a pain, since Owen’s policy when being photographed is strict non-compliance, but Jennifer managed to get some good photos. It’s going to be fun to see his growth through the years while wearing the same shirt every year.

Then we headed to the Olive Garden – the restaurant Owen picked for dinner.

Owen got a phone call from his grandma (my wife’s mom) and my sister wishing him happy birthday. Before bed, I read him TWO chapters (double the normal amount) – one from each of the two books we’re currently reading together, and we marked his height on a 2×4 that we keep expressly for that purpose. Judging from the marks on the piece of wood, Owen grew about as much while he was 6 as he did when he was 5.

This coming weekend, he’s having a small birthday party.

I thought it was funny how, several times today, he said, “I can’t believe I’m seven now. Daddy, can you believe I’m seven?” Well…yes…I can. But only because I’m kind of a freak when it comes to tracking dates on the calendar.

Happy birthday Owen!

Friday, 11 May 2012

Tonight, Jennifer and I watched the first 75% of MacGruber, and I think we are dumber for it.

I thought I would like the comedy. I was a big fan of MacGyver in the 1980s. I even wrote to Richard Dean Anderson once. So, maybe I was expecting too much. There were funny bits, to be sure, but the whole thing didn’t seem to work together. I think this is a common problem with Saturday Night Live sketches turned into movies: they’re funny for five minutes, not 90.

The main issue, for me, was that the movie began with a strong indication that MacGruber is the most amazing soldier the US Military has ever had: he’s been on tours of duty in several theaters, and has won a dozen purple hearts. The first time we meet GacGruber, he is able to identify his guest without even turning to see him and he subsequently launches himself in the air, backflips, and lands face-to-face with his guest. But then…he’s jsut a buffoon. Didn’t really make sense.

Save yourself the time…rent something else.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

 We got a lot done around the house today. I removed about a dozen more landscaping bricks from the front yard, installed a work bench in the garage, removed wiring from the old garage door opener, and pulled dead ivy off the side of the house. Jennifer sprayed weeds with homemade organic weed killer, and watered our flowers. Owen pulled out weeds. Isla just made it difficult for everyone.

At one point, Jennifer asked when I planned to clean up all the sticks, leaves, and debris on our garage’s roof. I said, “Let’s do it now.” So she helped me get our big ladder out of the garage and position it alongside the garage.

Then she took a picture of me:

Here you can see that the right side of the roof is already cleaned off. That’s ’cause I had just done it. The debris had been up there for so long that the leaves had rotted and returned to soil. There were weeds growing in that soil! I used a rake and a broom to get everything off. During the course of the day, the roof finally got to dry out there. Now we’re waiting for a good rain to come along and wash it off. In the meantime, unlike the previous owner, I plan to get up there more than once a decade.

Also today, we all went on a bike ride. This was Isla’s first experience bicycling. Here she is in the trailor:

How cute is that?