Thursday, 23 August 2012

 I watched Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows today.

Actually, I only watched the last half of it. As previously noted, Jennifer and I tried getting through this movie twice before. About a week ago, we first popped it into the DVD player and, after about fifteen minutes, Jennifer announced she was falling asleep. So, on our first evening at the cabin, we gave it another shot. We got to the film’s midpoint, then Jennifer paused it and basically said, “I give up.”

I didn’t give up. I finished it on my lunch break today at work. Here’s why I didn’t give up: because the first Sherlock Holmes movie, which I saw at the theater, was just alright until the end. Then I thought, “okay, that was pretty good.” So I was hoping for the same thing today.

Unfortunately, this one stunk so bad nearly all the way through, that there was hardly any way it could redeem itself. And, it did redeem itself somewhat. But only in the same way that a student, getting an F all semester, can somewhat redeem himself by scoring a B on the final exam.

The climax was great, but up until that point, it was just a bloody, rambling mess, relying too much on special effects and action. If I want action, I can watch James Bond. But Holmes is the cerebral James Bond, fi you will. Or, maybe better, he is to crime what Star Trek is to Science Fiction. Of course, action does have its place – and it often does in the original Doyle canon – but it’s never the key; it’s never the gimmick to keep us attached. Not if it’s done well at least.

The poor denouement sets up clearly for another episode in this series. That’s okay, guys, I’ll stop here.

Friday, 24 August 2012

Today is Jennifer’s and my wedding anniversary.

Our initial idea for our anniversary was to spend the anniversary up at the cabin, but, as happens so often, the timing just didn’t work out. There have been a few times – at least three that I can think of – that we went out of town for our anniversary, but not exactly on the day of our anniversary. One year, the start of a college semester got in the way. Another year, jury duty got in the way. Another year, our anniversary was right in the middle of the week and we knew our friends (who would be joining us out of town) would have an easier time getting away if we waited for the weekend. This time, other family members had already booked the cabin for this weekend. No big whoop. We went last week.

This evening, Jennifer’s mom came over and watched our kids so we could go out for dinner. Jennifer selected P.F. Chang’s – a restaruant we’d only been to once before. Our one other time going there together was back in 2007, on my wife’s birthday, in fact. I surprised her by having some of our friends show up to join us – including her parents and her sister and my sister and her husband and our pals Ryan and Esther. We haven’t been back since and, in fact, today we went to a different location (the one closer to our house).

After dinner, we stopped at a Redbox. Jennifer suggested renting The Hunger Games, cause, you know, it’s popular and everything. But, in typical Redbox fashion, they were out of it. So we rented Wanderlust. Pretty decent flick. Go rent it. We laughed a lot.

Happy anniversary to us!

Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Today, we left the cabin. Our car was obscenely full. We already had too much stuff in the car on the way there, but the way home was worse. Though we had less food with us, we had to bring our garbage home, so that meant fitting into the car things like empty water jugs. We also had to take some of the towels and sheets to bring home and wash (there’s no washer at the cabin – unless you count the lake).

After driving about 20 minutes, we stopped off in Taylor’s Falls. We dined at the Chisago House Restaurant, which my wife says she used to go to with her grandparents when she was just a whipper-snapper. Owen ordered the all-you-can-eat salad bar. This is kind of a waste on a kid, because kids don’t gorge themselves on as much as they can possibly fit into their gut like good, grown-up Americans do. But I figured it was a good idea, because then he would eat everything on his plate, even if it was just lettuce and grapes or some other odd combination of food.

When we arrived home, we unloaded the car, tossed about a hundred pounds worth of laundry downstairs, grabbed the thirty or so pieces of mail off our porch, made sure the cat was still alive, and put away our cabin supplies. I also grabbed my phone and turned it on for the first time in five days. I had one message: an offer for a free cup of yogurt from a local dessert shop. Oh man, I really learned my lesson. I have got to take my phone with me next time I’m on vacation.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012
While up at the cabin, I read a book titled Fire and Rain: The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, James Taylor, CSNY, and the Lost Story of 1970. I didn’t even know this book existed until a week ago when I came home from work and it was sitting on the kitchen counter and my wife said that her mom brought it over. It’s my dad-in-law’s book, and he thought I would like to read it.

Well, I did like to read it.

But it’s really strange.

The author tries (oh so painfully tries) to weave together four disparate musical acts as they progressed through a single year. Why 1970 was chosen, I’m not sure why. I think the year was a particularly nostalgic one for the author. It also, obviously, represented the end of the 60s. It was also the only year that all four of these acts were famous (well, of course, they’ve all been famous in subesequent years, too, but two of them no longer existed).

In trying to talk about just 1970 though, the author really has to stretch his story. The first chapter begins with January 1970, but even then, then author has to take us back into 1969 to bring us up to speed. Because, let’s face it, it’s not like everyone just begins fresh on January first every year. At the other end of the book, he tries to find some way to wrap up the stories, but there’s no good way to do it. It’s not like their stories all ended on December 31. The Beatles, in fact, broke up way back in April and Simon and Garfunkel broke up back in the summer.

I’m not sure why he chose these four music acts, either. They’re all great acts that I love, and reading the book made me want to get more of their music. But what do they all have in common? Like I said above, two of the acts broke up that year, but a third act (CSNY) just continued on, and a fourth act (Taylor) just began his career. They’re not all bands, since one is a solo act. They’re not all American, or British. And they weren’t all at their height of fame that year. The author points out some links, but it’s forced – for example, he concludes one chapter on the Beatles by noting that a few days later, Paul McCartney went to a concert to see James Taylor. Turn the page and – presto! – the next chapter is about James Taylor. Weird.

So here’s what I’ll say about this book: It’s four good books, but one so-so book. Does that make sense?

Anyway, this morning, when I got in my car for the first time since last Thursday and turned on te radio, guess what song was playing?

Friday, 17 August 2012

Today we arrived at the cabin for a vacation. You may recall that we stayed at the cabin earlier this summer, thought I arrived late and only stayed two nights back then.

I decided to leave my computer and phone at home. Jennifer initially balked at the idea of not bringing my phone, suggesting that there might be an emergency in which she’ll need to call my parents. I’m not sure what, exactly, my Dad (living in Florida) is supposed to do via phone if I suddenly have a heart attack and wind up in the hospital, but I wrote down my parents’ phone numbers and told Jennifer to put them in her phone just in case.

One thing we did bring with us is our DVD player. We arrived at the cabin with two disks from Netflix and two newly purchased movies to watch with Owen late at night after Isla falls asleep.

We tried bringing our DVD player last time, but failed. First, Jennifer forgot to bring the DVD player. Since I drove up separetely three days later, she called and reminded me to bring the player. I did, but I did not bring the correct cord, so we couldn’t attach it to the 1970s TV that resides at the cabin.

This time, we remembered the DVD player, but it looked like it was unnecessary: my brother-in-law donated a newer TV to the cabin. This newer model had a built-in DVD player. So, we popped in one Netflix, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. After about twenty minutes, my wife complained that the movie didn’t have enough sex in it (or maybe she just said it didn’t make any sense, I don’t remember), so I ejected the disk and inserted Mad Men: Season 1 Disk 1. Once we got past the FBI warning telling us we will be shot on sight if we copy the disk, and forwarded past the trailers, we selected the first episode and began watching.

The subtitles appeared. So we had to go back to the menu and unselect them. They were already unselected, so we weren’t sure what was wrong. We tried accessing the TV’s menu, but no luck. So then we plugged in our DVD player (the one we brought from home), but Jennifer forgot the remote, and our stupid, shitty DVD player doesn’t have full usability without the remote. So we shut the thing off.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

So I brought with me, cracked open, and began reading the novel Where Things Come Back. This is one of those Catcher in the Rye copycat books (yeah, really, the characters even reference Catcher in the Rye) with an interesting twist: there’s a secondary story happening unrelated to the main story.

While the main tale takes place in Lily, Arkansas and concerns a teenaged boy who’s grappling with all sorts of stuff, the subplot tells of a missionary in Ethiopia who grows disillusioned, moves back home, then tries out college life, where he prfoundly influences his roommate.

This tight but sprawling narrative is, actually, more interesting than the main story. I wish I would have began making a list, years back, of books and movies in which the subplot is more interesting than the main plot. It wouldn’t be a very long list, percentage-wise, but it would fascinating to look back on.

The book also talks about the possible reappearance of a (thought to be) extinct woodpecker. As soon as I came across this in the text, I knew they were talking about the Lord God Bird – because I had once read the book The Race to Save the Lord God Bird, which is an enormously captivating read, and I suggest you go get yourself a copy right now. Anyway, I just go to the point in the Where Things Come Back where one character casually mentions to another that  the woodpecker everyone is excited about used to be called the My God Bird. The book is a work of fiction, but this character’s claim is entirely true. In fact, according to the other book – the one called The Race to Save the Lord God Bird – the bird had several names, including both Lord God and My God. What a great name for a bird. Too bad it’s extinct.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Today is my second full day in a row without using a phone, a computer, or a car. And, for the second day in a row, I had no interaction with anyone at all except my wife and kids. How great is that? It’s awesome.

We sat out on the beach a lot. Jennifer keeps pulling weeds and sifting out rocks and carrying dried seaweed to the fir pit. I help sometimes, but mostly I’m just relaxing. I did move the fire pit, however.

I think, at some point in the last 30 years, a member of Jennifer’s family set up a fire ring in the backyard. At the time, its location made sense, but in the ensuing years a nearby tree has grown directly overhead. Over the last several years, whenever there’s been a fire in the fire pit, I’ve watched as smoke and ashes have risen up into that tree. Big chunks of foliage are dead on the tree as a result, and I kept thinking that, any day now, the things is going to burst into flames.

Anyway, I moved the pit about ten feet closer to the shore, just away from the tree’s reach. My wife wondered if some people in the family might not like the idea that I ever so slightly altered their world, so my plan for tomorrow is to work more on the fire pit by burying bricks and enclosing the perimeter in heavy stones that are partially buried. That way, if anyone doesn’t like it, they’ll have to really be commited to their disdain if they want to move it.

I’m thinking of mixing some cement and pouring it around the firepit, too. But that might be going too far.

Monday, 20 August 2012

…And today is my third day in a row without phone, car, or computer. In fact, today I didn’t even use the TV. We turned on the TV yesterday to watch Men In Black with Owen. There were subtitles. Again. We couldn’t get rid of them. But we decided to go ahead and watch the movie anyway, primarily because Owen would have been too upset if we shut it off, and also because – come on – it’s just Men In Black.

Anyway, this evening we went out on the rowboat again. Owen tried his hand at rowing, which was good because up until that moment he was quite the harsh critic of my rowing. Also, Isla gets enveloped in this Zen-like calm when we’re out on the boat. She just sits or stands there looking overboard with a peaceful look on her face.

Also this evening, we started a fire in the pit. This should, along with the bricks and rocks, help to make the pit’s location more permanent-looking. We roasted some marshmallows and made some ‘smores. I had a couple, not because I think marshmallows taste great, but because that’s what you’re supposed to do when your standing around a bonfire. I left all the ashes and embers in the pit to help it seem more legitimate.

Owen row, row, rows the boat

Isla relaxes in the sink

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

 So, I looked at my work calendar today, and I’m happy to announce that I’m not working a single full week this entire month. Last week, I took off Friday. This week, I’m taking off Friday again. Next week, I’m taking off Monday and Tuesday, and the week after that, I’m taking off Monday.

The week after that, we’ll be into September, but I’ll still have a partial week by virtue of Labor Day.

My reason for taking off three work days in a row is because Jennifer, Owen, Isla, and I are heading up to the family cabin again, like we did back in June. They all spent five nights there; I only spent two. So, spending an upcoming four nights at the cabin will triple my total time sleeping there, ever.

So today I really kicked my “get everything at work in order” into high gear. My plan is to not have anything waiting for me when I get back.

Wednesday 15 August 2012

 This evening, Owen and I finished reading The Yellow Yacht, by Ron Roy.

Here’s a few intersting bits of trivia about that:

We are now only one book away from having read the entire A to Z Mysteries Series together. At 25 books, this easily makes Ron Roy the most represented author on my list of books I’ve read.

I’m reading a lot of books this year. Not sure why the uptick, but I think it’s a combination of reading to my son every night, having to read books for school, and listening to audiobooks in the car on the way to and from work. At 54 books, I’ve already read more books this year than any other year in the past decade, except for 2011, when I read 58 books. So i’m within striking distance. If I don’t read another book this year, I will still have averaged over one book a week. Good for me.

And if you look at my list of books I’ve read this year (and, if you’re like most people, you probably don’t), then you’ll see I’ve read at least one book beginning with every letter of the alphabet except D, E, F, and Z. Z, of course, will be filled in by month’s end. Not sure if I’ll fill in those other empty spots. I started reading Does Local Government Matter? for a book review, but it was so boring I couldn’t finish it. Oh well. I’ll keep you posted. Literally.

One more bit of trivia: in 1998, I read the book Where the Red Fern Grows. Until this year, it remained, alphabetically, the last book on my list of juvenile fiction that I’ve read. After over 13 years in that position, however, it’s lost out to – not one – but four other works of fiction.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

So, in case you don’t know, there are two Republican-sponsored proposed amendment changes on the ballot for Minnesotans this comings fall. One says:

“Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to require all voters to present valid photo identification to vote and to require the state to provide free identification to eligible voters, effective July 1, 2013?”

The other says:
“Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?”

The other day, I mentioned to my wife that I’ve seen signs and bumper stickers and t-shirts that are opposed to the voter ID amendment, but I’ve also seen stickers and buttons and such indicating support for the amendment. However, I’ve only seen opposition to the marriage amendment. Maybe I’m pretty insulated living in a very liberal city in a very liberal metro area and generally avoiding in depth discussions with fundamentalists, but I had yet to see any individual person expressing support for the amendmet. Oh, I’ve seen support discussed online, and the local media has noted when various groups have supported it, and I’m sure their are individual people I know who support the measure, but I had never seen an individual expressing it on their person or property.
Well, that changed today.
I was driving home from work. I was in the center lane, swiftly gaining on a pick-up truck in the fast lane who was going under the speed limit and talking on his cell phone. The back window of his pick-up truck had two bumper stickers: the first one I saw expressed his support for the voter ID amendment. No big deal; I’d seen that sticker before, on other vehicles. But then I saw his other sticker. It said something about protecting marriage, voting YES on the marriage amendment, and then showing one of those bathroom door icons of a man and a woman in a skirt.
I don’t know what he was doing in Minneapolis, but I can only assume he was lost.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Well, for the fifth time in as many weeks, I donned my reverend persona and officiated a wedding. And now, for the first time this calendar year, I have no weddings coming down the proverbial pipeline. Hold on, I’ll check.

Nope. No emails.

Here are a few observations I made about today’s wedding that I absolutely enjoyed:

*A reading

This is the second wedding in a row I’ve performed in which a family member was invited up to read something. I like that. It gives me time to take a breath.

*Asymmetrical bridal party

Yep, the groomsmen outnumbered the bridesmaids. I’m not saying this is better than the usual symmetry, I’m just saying I liked their nonconformance to what, hitherto, I always thought was an imperative. The groomsmen-to-bridesmaids ratio meant that a couple of the bridesmaids walked down the aisle with a groomsman on each arm. The maid of honor, meanwhile, walked down with her one-year old daughter. When reaching the stage, she picked up her daughter and held her through the ceremony. Very cool.

*Not walking down with dad

Again, not saying this is better, just saying I like the change: the bride was escorted down the aisle not by her father, or a grandfather, but by her own brother, who then served as the best man (he received double-billing in the program).

*Intraceremony license-signing

This couple chose to sign their license during the ceremony. Even though this could have been a little awkward (people on stage hunched over a clipboard), it worked out perfectly and, in retrospect, I wish my wife and I would have done this. After all, it only makes sense. The license signatures indicates the witnesses have affirmed the vows, and so, you might as well get all the legal, traditional, and (if you must) religious stuff out of the way during the ceremony.

To make things unique, this couple did not use their best man and maid of honor as the witnesses; they used their grandmothers. At the appropriate time, they took their license down to the front row where her grandma signed the paperwork, then embraced her granddaughter and her new grandson-in-law. This was repeated on the other side of the aisle with his grandma. The groom then handed me the license, which I perused quickly and then signed.

Again, very cool.

If you’re getting married sometime in the next few months…good news! I’m wide open for dates.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

So, the good folks over at the St. Paul Almanac have asked me (and, I assume, all the other contributors) to participate in their tour-of-coffee houses readings.

I’m already attending their big release party on September 13th, and I think I am assigned to read there, but I think it sounds fun to read at a coffee shop. It’s like all those times I’ve seen my friends play guitar at coffee shops, only I have far less talent!

Anyway, I’m reading my piece(s) at two coffee shops on two dates.

The first is at Fresh Grounds, at 1362 West Seventh Street, on Monday, October first.

The second is at Claddaugh Coffee at 459 West Seventh Street on Monday, November nineteenth.

What can I say? I guess I have a thing for West 7th coffee shops.

Here’s a complete list off all the reading dates. If you can’t attend one where I’m participating (or if you specifically want to avoid them), then pick from this list and support local writers.

Monday, 13 August 2012

Despite having loads of shelving space in our (relatively) new home, Jennifer and I always have difficulty agreeing on what to do with the books we are currently reading. She likes to pile them up wily-nily whereever there’s space; I like to put them away in their proper place in the book shelves. I complain her method is sloppy. She complains my method causes her to forget about the books she wants to read. And then there are the library books: where do we put those? The top of the toilet only fits so many books.

Here is my wife’s current solution, unique in that I’m not opposed to it:

This is the left-hand corner of our desk. Since our desk is, like, seven feet long, there’s no problem in using up a foot of it to temporarily house these books. It’s good for me ’cause it’s not messy. It’s good for she ’cause she won’t forget about them when they’re sitting out in the open like this.

But, wow, just look at all those books! The majority of these are books Jennifer intends to read. But I have a book sitting on my desk at work, another in my backpack, and another sitting in the bathroom downstairs. Then there’s the audiobook I’m listening to in the car. And if you look closely, there’s a book jacket nestled behind the books. That’s ’cause I outserted the book and am reading it sans jacket. On top of the books are a couple of zines. To my knowledge, we’ve both read them, so I thing they’re languishing there until we either find a zine home, or they grow up into full-fledged books. Either way, it’s not happening any time soon.

Also today: Happy Left-handers’ Day to all of my sinister friends!