Sunday, 09 September 2012

Ten years ago today, I began my employment with Part Three Analytical, a contract lab for 3M that refused to call itself a contract lab for 3M.

This may seem like a somewhat arbitrary anniversary to acknowledge, especially since I don’t work there anymore, but it was a big deal to me at the time.

Earlier that year, I graduated from Century College. I spent the summer looking for a new job. I wasn’t terribly eager about it. For one thing, I liked my current job. Yes, it was in the eyecare industry and, yes, I had to work with the public, but working at Apple Valley Eye Care was an enormous leap forward in terms of job satisfaction.

See, in February 2001, I finally quit my job at Lenscrafters. I worked there for over six years, enduring all manner of incompetent and micromanaging bosses – a revolving door, it seemed, of goons who each had their own idea of how to ingratiate themselves to upper management. Then there were the long and inconsistent hours – one day I worked from 10:00 to 2:00, the next day I worked frmo 9:00 AM to 9:30 PM. The pay was marginal, my co-workers were so-so, and the customers collectively rank as one of the worst experiences of my life…right up there with junio high school, the orthodontist, and the Wheelock Parkway congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

So, yeah, leaving that hell and going to Apple Valley Eye Care was downright glorious.

But, like I said, I still had to work with customers. There also wasn’t much room for advance. And the benefits, as is typical for a small company, weren’t much to speak of.

Finally, in August 2002, I interviewed and was offered a job at Part Three. Following our wedding anniversary, and jury duty, I began work there on this day ten years ago.

When I arrived home that evening, and Jennifer inquired as to my day, I said, “It was awesome, I didn’t have to talk to one customer all day.”

And it’s been that way now for ten wonderful years.

Saturday, 08 September 2012

Well, in the world of obscure and nearly meaningless trivia, I’d like to take today’s post to point out that Jimmy Carter, our 39th President, has now set a new record for longest Presidential retirement. He has now been an ex-president for 11,554 days. That’s one day longer than Herbert Hoover’s retirement, which ran from March 4, 1933 (the day FDR took over the reins) to October 20, 1964 (the day he died).

Nine presidents, of course, had no retirement at all. That’s because eight of them – William Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, Warren Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, and John Kennedy – died on the job. While the ninth, Barack Obama, is still employed at the White House. 

Of the 34 men who outlived their tenure as president, some of them didn’t have much of a retirement. President Polk, for example, died just over three months after leaving office. More famously, both George Washington and Woodrow Wilson died just under three years after leaving the job as Commander-in-Chief.

Of course, the word “retirement” isn’t the best word for it. Carter hasn’t exactly been sitting on his duff these thirty-one years since he moved out of the White House. Other ex-presidents, too, had notable careers after leaving. John Quincy Adams, for example, went on to serve in the House of Representatives for 17 years following his Presidency. William Taft followed up his four years in the White House with a stint as Supreme Court Justice (this thus gave him the unique distinction of being on both ends of the Oath of Office for the Presidency).

So, you might ask: Does this mean Jimmy Carter has lived longer than any other President? No. At 87 years young, Carter has had a long life, but he hasn’t lived longer than several other former Presidents, including the man he beat for the job back in 1976: Gerald Ford holds the record for longest-lived President. He was 93 years, 165 days old when he died. In fact, Carter isn’t even the oldest living ex-President. That distinction goes to George Bush, Sr., who is about three months older than Carter (but, having left the White House in 1993, has had a far shorter retirement).

Any way you slice it, Carter’s been collecting a Presidential pension for a long time. As The Atlantic kindly put it, his ex-Presidency has lasted longer than 26 Iranian Hostage Crises.

Friday, 07 September 2012

Okay, so I’m going to be reading a portion of my short story “Losing My Head” at the Southdale Library on Saturday, September 16th. 

The Minnesota Atheists will be holding their monthly meeting, and this particular meeting will be dedicated to a discussion, and readings from, the book Atheist Voices of Minnesota. That’s the book my essay is in (I talked about it HERE). Proceeds from the book benefit Minnesota Atheists’ radio program, so I guess they have a vested interest in promoting the book.

In case you don’t really care for me, you’ll be happy to know that fifteen other authors will also be reading portions of their essays. This includes people who have blogs that people actually read, such as Stephanie Zvan and PZ Myers. Another former Witness, Robin Raianiemi, will be reading an excerpt from her essay. Michelle Huber and Ryan Benson, who wrote two of my favorite essays in the book, will also be reading, as will Todd Torkelson, who has one of the most unusual stories of any freethinker (he used to be a ghostbuster).

There will also be a question and answer portion, so if you have any questions, like, “Why was James’ essay included in this book?” you’ll have a chance to find out the answers.

The book will be available to purchase there, too.

So, come to the Southdale Library in Edina at 1:45 on Sunday, Spetember 16th. I know, I know, it’s not on TV or Facebook, so it’s kind of a bummer. You’ll also end up missing the last half of the Vikings game that day, so I’ll just go ahead and tell you now that SPOILER ALERT! they’re gonna lose.

Thanks for your support.

Click here for more details. 

Tuesday, 04 September 2012

Today is Owen’s first day of second grade. Jennifer took him to school this morning, and I considered picking him up this afternoon…but it’s a good thing I didn’t. I wouldn’t have gotten there on time.

Here’s what happened:

I got in my car after work, and it started up with no problem. I decided to get some gas, which is a good thing to do on a Tuesday, because the local Super America has a “double coupon” policy on Tuesday, so my 10 cents-off-per-gallon coupon morphs into 20 cents-off. So that’s good.

So I filled up my tank with 20 cents-off gas, went in to pay, then went back out and tried to start my car. No dice. My first thought was that I did something stupid like fill it up with diesel. But I didn’t. Then my second thought was: “Hey, this seems like a problem with my battery.” But then my third thought was, “That’s weird, though. How can my battery drain so quickly? I just shut off the car less than ten minutes ago, so even if I left on both the headlights and the stereo, the battery should still be fine.”

Regardless, if my car had gas, then I really don’t know what other sort of trboule-shooting to do other than to jump the battery. In this way, having a car poop out at a gas station is a great thing, because people are coming and going all the time, and the station itself has a decent supply of fluids and parts for a car.

So, I took out my jumper cables, and I asked the guy at a nearby pump if I could use his battery. His pick-up truck was facing nose-to-nose with my Cavalier, so he wouldn’t even need to move his vehicle. He opened his trunk, and we hooked up. Literally.

I tried to start my car, but no luck. So I waited a few more minutes, during which time the good Samaritan revved his engine, and I’m glad he did that, because I hardly ever get to use two V’s in a row, so it’s great to get to type the word “revved.”

So then I tried my car again, and it started.

I bought a new battery this evening. As the receipt in my glove compartment attests, the old battery was purchased in August 2003. With an 84 month warranty, the old chunk of metal lasted 109 months. I guess I can’t complain.

Wednesday, 05 September 2012

 Today was the last day of the Strength Training class at work.

I signed up to take the once-a-week workout class back in May. There were two eight-week sessions, and so today was the last session.

Guess what? I forgot to bring my gym shorts. This was the first time I’d forgotten, actually. I considered not going to the class, but then I remembered I’m too cheap to lose out on a class I paid for, so I went with my jeans on. I did have a t-shirt, so at least my top half was workout-ready. A couple of people gave me funny looks, like I’m an idiot for wearing jeans to a workout class. I looked at them back, as if to say, “Yes, I am an idiot for waring jeans to a workout class.”

Other than a slight limit to my range of motion (tight jeans they are not), and a nasty inability to dissapate heat, things worked out just fine. Pun intended.

I’m not gonna sign up for the next eight weeks. With school starting tomorrow (see: tomorrow), I think I will need to start using my lunch hour to read books or write papers. Also, let’s face it, I’m in superb shape as it is.

Thursday, 06 September 2012

I started back at school today. Again.

My professor is a woman I’ve had for a class before. In fact, she recognized me as soon as she walked into the classroom. She’s a ncie lady, a good teacher, and she doesn’t “do” final exams, which is great for two reasons: 1) There is no benefit to having me write non-stop for an hour and a half, other than I just get pissed off, and 2) That’s one less day I’ve gotta leave work early and get to class.

We’re all sitting in a roundtable style. My wife says this is better for the women in the class, as it eliminates a heiracrchical appreance and facilitates group communitcation. I say it’s bad for the men in the class because, for example, when I go to adjust my pants, everyone can see what I’m doing.

Don’t ask me the name of the class, ‘casue I can’t remember. It’s another English class, and all the English classes have names like “Textual studies of criticisms” and “Studying texts critically” and “Critical studying of texts.” So, I don’t know, it’s probably called “Texts are Critical Studies,” or something like that.

Anyway, I’m in class now until early December. If I pull this thing off, I’ll attain 12 credits this year, which is an all-time record for my Hamline career.