Verbisaurus Blogicus

Saturday, 08 September 2012

Well, in the world of obscure and nearly meaningless trivia, I’d like to take today’s post to point out that Jimmy Carter, our 39th President, has now set a new record for longest Presidential retirement. He has now been an ex-president for 11,554 days. That’s one day longer than Herbert Hoover’s retirement, which ran from March 4, 1933 (the day FDR took over the reins) to October 20, 1964 (the day he died).

Nine presidents, of course, had no retirement at all. That’s because eight of them – William Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, Warren Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, and John Kennedy – died on the job. While the ninth, Barack Obama, is still employed at the White House. 

Of the 34 men who outlived their tenure as president, some of them didn’t have much of a retirement. President Polk, for example, died just over three months after leaving office. More famously, both George Washington and Woodrow Wilson died just under three years after leaving the job as Commander-in-Chief.

Of course, the word “retirement” isn’t the best word for it. Carter hasn’t exactly been sitting on his duff these thirty-one years since he moved out of the White House. Other ex-presidents, too, had notable careers after leaving. John Quincy Adams, for example, went on to serve in the House of Representatives for 17 years following his Presidency. William Taft followed up his four years in the White House with a stint as Supreme Court Justice (this thus gave him the unique distinction of being on both ends of the Oath of Office for the Presidency).

So, you might ask: Does this mean Jimmy Carter has lived longer than any other President? No. At 87 years young, Carter has had a long life, but he hasn’t lived longer than several other former Presidents, including the man he beat for the job back in 1976: Gerald Ford holds the record for longest-lived President. He was 93 years, 165 days old when he died. In fact, Carter isn’t even the oldest living ex-President. That distinction goes to George Bush, Sr., who is about three months older than Carter (but, having left the White House in 1993, has had a far shorter retirement).

Any way you slice it, Carter’s been collecting a Presidential pension for a long time. As The Atlantic kindly put it, his ex-Presidency has lasted longer than 26 Iranian Hostage Crises.

Friday, 07 September 2012

Okay, so I’m going to be reading a portion of my short story “Losing My Head” at the Southdale Library on Saturday, September 16th. 

The Minnesota Atheists will be holding their monthly meeting, and this particular meeting will be dedicated to a discussion, and readings from, the book Atheist Voices of Minnesota. That’s the book my essay is in (I talked about it HERE). Proceeds from the book benefit Minnesota Atheists’ radio program, so I guess they have a vested interest in promoting the book.

In case you don’t really care for me, you’ll be happy to know that fifteen other authors will also be reading portions of their essays. This includes people who have blogs that people actually read, such as Stephanie Zvan and PZ Myers. Another former Witness, Robin Raianiemi, will be reading an excerpt from her essay. Michelle Huber and Ryan Benson, who wrote two of my favorite essays in the book, will also be reading, as will Todd Torkelson, who has one of the most unusual stories of any freethinker (he used to be a ghostbuster).

There will also be a question and answer portion, so if you have any questions, like, “Why was James’ essay included in this book?” you’ll have a chance to find out the answers.

The book will be available to purchase there, too.

So, come to the Southdale Library in Edina at 1:45 on Sunday, Spetember 16th. I know, I know, it’s not on TV or Facebook, so it’s kind of a bummer. You’ll also end up missing the last half of the Vikings game that day, so I’ll just go ahead and tell you now that SPOILER ALERT! they’re gonna lose.

Thanks for your support.

Click here for more details. 

Tuesday, 04 September 2012

Today is Owen’s first day of second grade. Jennifer took him to school this morning, and I considered picking him up this afternoon…but it’s a good thing I didn’t. I wouldn’t have gotten there on time.

Here’s what happened:

I got in my car after work, and it started up with no problem. I decided to get some gas, which is a good thing to do on a Tuesday, because the local Super America has a “double coupon” policy on Tuesday, so my 10 cents-off-per-gallon coupon morphs into 20 cents-off. So that’s good.

So I filled up my tank with 20 cents-off gas, went in to pay, then went back out and tried to start my car. No dice. My first thought was that I did something stupid like fill it up with diesel. But I didn’t. Then my second thought was: “Hey, this seems like a problem with my battery.” But then my third thought was, “That’s weird, though. How can my battery drain so quickly? I just shut off the car less than ten minutes ago, so even if I left on both the headlights and the stereo, the battery should still be fine.”

Regardless, if my car had gas, then I really don’t know what other sort of trboule-shooting to do other than to jump the battery. In this way, having a car poop out at a gas station is a great thing, because people are coming and going all the time, and the station itself has a decent supply of fluids and parts for a car.

So, I took out my jumper cables, and I asked the guy at a nearby pump if I could use his battery. His pick-up truck was facing nose-to-nose with my Cavalier, so he wouldn’t even need to move his vehicle. He opened his trunk, and we hooked up. Literally.

I tried to start my car, but no luck. So I waited a few more minutes, during which time the good Samaritan revved his engine, and I’m glad he did that, because I hardly ever get to use two V’s in a row, so it’s great to get to type the word “revved.”

So then I tried my car again, and it started.

I bought a new battery this evening. As the receipt in my glove compartment attests, the old battery was purchased in August 2003. With an 84 month warranty, the old chunk of metal lasted 109 months. I guess I can’t complain.

Wednesday, 05 September 2012

 Today was the last day of the Strength Training class at work.

I signed up to take the once-a-week workout class back in May. There were two eight-week sessions, and so today was the last session.

Guess what? I forgot to bring my gym shorts. This was the first time I’d forgotten, actually. I considered not going to the class, but then I remembered I’m too cheap to lose out on a class I paid for, so I went with my jeans on. I did have a t-shirt, so at least my top half was workout-ready. A couple of people gave me funny looks, like I’m an idiot for wearing jeans to a workout class. I looked at them back, as if to say, “Yes, I am an idiot for waring jeans to a workout class.”

Other than a slight limit to my range of motion (tight jeans they are not), and a nasty inability to dissapate heat, things worked out just fine. Pun intended.

I’m not gonna sign up for the next eight weeks. With school starting tomorrow (see: tomorrow), I think I will need to start using my lunch hour to read books or write papers. Also, let’s face it, I’m in superb shape as it is.

Thursday, 06 September 2012

I started back at school today. Again.

My professor is a woman I’ve had for a class before. In fact, she recognized me as soon as she walked into the classroom. She’s a ncie lady, a good teacher, and she doesn’t “do” final exams, which is great for two reasons: 1) There is no benefit to having me write non-stop for an hour and a half, other than I just get pissed off, and 2) That’s one less day I’ve gotta leave work early and get to class.

We’re all sitting in a roundtable style. My wife says this is better for the women in the class, as it eliminates a heiracrchical appreance and facilitates group communitcation. I say it’s bad for the men in the class because, for example, when I go to adjust my pants, everyone can see what I’m doing.

Don’t ask me the name of the class, ‘casue I can’t remember. It’s another English class, and all the English classes have names like “Textual studies of criticisms” and “Studying texts critically” and “Critical studying of texts.” So, I don’t know, it’s probably called “Texts are Critical Studies,” or something like that.

Anyway, I’m in class now until early December. If I pull this thing off, I’ll attain 12 credits this year, which is an all-time record for my Hamline career.

Sunday, 02 September 2012

Well, with summer winding down, it is time for one last litle getaway.

Today was Family Day at the cabin. As the name implies, this means that the “family” spends the “day” at the “cabin.” Well, not the whole family – some were busy with other things. And not the whole day – we, for example, didn’t get there until 1:30 in the afternoon. And we were actually outside the cabin, not inside it, for most of the time. But you get the idea.

The last two times I’ve been to the cabin, I’ve stayed over night. Actually, back in June, I stayed two nights. And just a few weeks ago, I stayed four nights. So now, driving up there for just a day seems like a lot of work for little pay off. As it is, I wanted to get there earlier, but there was a lot of stuff to prepare, and our kids continually provided negative support in getting ready. We also stayed after dusk and, boy, do I hate driving in the country in the dark. My wife drove, but I was still in the car, so it wasn’t much better.

I’m pleased to report that my firepit was still in tact.

Monday, 03 September 2012

Well, we didn’t do much on this de facto last day of summer.

I did a tiny bit of painting. A very tiny bit, in fact. A couple of days ago, I replaced the fan switch in our bedroom, and the new plate is a little smaller, so it revealed some non-pained wall. Approximately 0.25 square inches. So I took a small brush and painted that spot.

Later, we watched our niece and nephew, which was fun for the kids and, I hope, earns us credits we can use for the day when we need a babysitter.

After our niece and nephew left, we walked to Subway Sandwiches. It was closed. I think ’cause it’s Labor Day. That was kind of bittersweet because, on the one hand, we wanted to eat somewhere but, on the other hand, that Subway is the crappiest Subway in the Twin Cities. So we went across the street to Hot City Pizza. Jennifer and I got hoagies. The kids had pizza. We all split one bottle of Dr.Pepper, PhD. 

This evening, we watched an episode of The Muppet Show (we currently have a disk on loan from Netflix) and then Owen and I read two chapters in the latest Captain Underpants novel.

Then the day was done. Tomorrow, Owen starts second grade.

Friday, 31 August 2012

 This evening, we met our friend Jeremy for dinner at Kokomo’s Island Bar and Grill. That’s at the Mall of America, and meeting Jeremy there is very appropriate since he and I have both worked there. In fact, for a couple of years, we worked together for the same company.

These days, Jeremy doesn’t work anywhere near the Mall of America: he now works in Utah. So, considering his commute, it was great of him to meet us so close to our home. He gave the kids a toy: a Q-BA-MAZE, which is kind of a twist on the marble works toy that has been a staple and a favorite of Owen’s for around six years now.

After dinner, we walked around the mall for a while. We hit up Teavana for free tea samples, then spent about 45 minutes at Barnes and Noble. Later, we ice creamed at Cold Stone Creamery. The kids played in a fountain, and Jeremy schmoozed with a Rosetta Stone salesman. Good times. Thanks for dinner, Jeremy!

Here I am posing, for what is probably the first time ever, with a Utahian. Isla’s left leg can be seen jutting out from behind me. 

Jennifer and Jeremy pose for the camera, while Owen expresses interest in something behind my right shoulder, evidently.

Saturday, 01 September 2012

 Owen received some passes to the Works Museum for his birthday back in May. We used the tickets today.

Originally, I was going to bring Owen and three friends (since he had four passes), but it’s nearly impossible to get three kids together and loaded into my car. The car seats can be a real issue. I thought of having the parents just meet me at the musuem, but then what do they do while I’m there with their kids? Unfortunately, no one we know lives real close to the museum, so no one would want to go back home.

Anyway, it ended up being Owen and one of his friends, along with me and that friend’s Dad.

The museum is now located in its own building, which is great, because last time we went there it was just a room in an old high school. I wasn’t even sure I was in the right place until after we got in the door. So, now, with their own building, it’s a lot easier to spot.

The larger building all to themselves, however, gives the museum a very empty feeling. It’s like moving from an apartment to a house – suddenly you have all this room and you’re not sure you’re ever gonna be able to decorate everywhere. Oh well. The kids still had fun.

Don’t let this picture fool you – Owen had nothing to do with the construction of this tower. The two dads built it (though our kids were happy to smash it down).