Verbisaurus Blogicus

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

 Today at Toastmasters was bring-a-guest day.

I’ve brought a few guests in the past, so I called on one of them to accompany me again. There was pizza and breadsticks and beverages and door prizes, so getting him to accompany me was an easy sell.

At every Toastmasters meeting, there’s a Word of the Day. Since I was the grammarian today, I selected the word “Wend.” It only was used once, so either it was a clunker of a word, or no one could find a good way to incorporate it into their speech.

Also, I won a door prize: some kind of super -wallet, it’s about 9 inches long and zips closed on three sides. At first, I liked it, but after examining it for a while, I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with it. It might end up in the dice game.

Thursday, 27 September 2012

 This evening we watched the Modern Family episode “Baby on Board,” which is the final episode of the third season. We are now caught up with the rest of America…almost. The premier of season 4 aired last night, so we are still one episode behind, but we’ll get that under our belts soon enough.

We almost never start watching a show when it first airs on TV. I guess we need to hear some buzz about it. We began watching Pushing Daisies and The Rerun Show from the beginning, but those were exceptions.

We also like to see every episode from start to finish. So, when we heard, mid-way through it’s run, that Arrested Development was a great show, we didn’t just jump in and watch it. We waited until it was available on DVD. Same thing with Lost, which we are currently watching from Netflix. Our current Netflix rotation includes Lost, The Sopranos, and Seinfeld.

Friday, 28 September 2012

So, I found a penny on the ground yesterday a few blocks from our house. This brings my total amount of money found this year up to $16.63, quite an increase from lasy year at this time when I was at $9.56.

But today, when I updated my file to account for this new penny, I noticed something: I haven’t found any money on the 14th, 19th or 23rd of any month. I hadn’t found anything on the 27th of any month, either (until yesterday).

Last year, by August, I had found money on every day of the month except the 31st. This made sense, because there had been seven 1st-28th’s, six 29th’s and 30th’s, but only three 31st’s. On August 31st of last year, i found a nickel. Exactly a year later, I found a quarter.

Still…I was “missing” four days.

The penny I lifted off the sidewalk yesterday brought me down to three “missing” days. We’ll see if October fills in the gaps…

Monday, 24 September 2012

 Tonight, just before I went to bed, I decided to check my email once more. This message was waiting for me in my Hamline email account:

Dear Hamline Community,

In recent weeks, a number of you have urged the University to take a stand in opposition to the proposed amendment to the Minnesota Constitution which would limit marriage in the state to a union of one man and one woman.  These activities are all within the spirit and foundational ethos of a university—we think about societal issues, debate them, and then as citizens, act upon our convictions. 

Significant and careful consideration of this matter has been given by me, the Board of Trustees and many of you in the community.  Such consideration has led to the conclusion that Hamline will not take a position in opposition to or in favor of the amendment.

Those who have urged public opposition by the University have passionately and eloquently cited Hamline’s core values and history of inclusivity.  The University’s position should not be viewed as supportive of the amendment or as a rejection of these values.

Rather, the intent is to allow for civil discourse and civic engagement by all members of our community.  As a diverse university made up of students, faculty, staff, alumni, the Methodist church, and our neighbors, each individual and group should have the freedom to express their approval of or opposition to the amendment.  It is extremely important that Hamline remain a place where, in the words of John Wesley, “the very act of intellectual inquiry is sacred.”

I know that we each individually have a personal view—I certainly do as a citizen and voter.  And we will not all agree.  But Hamline is best served as a university to allow for intellectual discourse and the unfettered exposition of ideas and opinions in regard to this amendment.

President Hanson

I was going to write back immediately. In fact, I hit reply, and wrote: “Professor Hanson – I’ve been contemplating dropping out of Hamline after this semester. Thanks to your message, my decision is now clear.”

I laughed at how clever my ambiguity was, then I figured, “Meh, whatever,” cancelled my message, and went to bed.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Today, when I arrived on campus, there were students gathering on the grass speaking about the President’s deplorable lack of position. Some were writing big demands on the sidewalk with sidewalk chalk, saying things like “We will not be ignored,” and someone put a t-shirt on the bronze statue of Mr. Hamline himself that said “We will be heard.”

When I went into the building my class is in, some students were marching down the hallways, and the guy in front had a bullhorn saying something like: “What do we want?” and then everytone else shouted, “A meeting with the president.” Then he asked “When do we want it?” And I think the answer to that was 4:00. They were so loud that at least one class ended ten minutes early.

When our class began, the professor decided to kick off the day by asking us how we felt about our President”s lack of a spine. Pretty much everyone thought she was wrong for not taking a stance, especially since Hamline claims to be a force for social justice. Our professor told us that, in the 1950s, when racial integration at college’s was being met with resistance in third-world nations like Arkansas and Mississippi, Hamline took a stand saying that they were pro-integration.

Evidently they don’t care as much about gay people’s right.

One student raised a good point, though. She said that the racial integration of colleges directly affected Hamline, whereas gay marriage does not. But then another rather vocal student said that’s beside the point – a college that believes in social justice should be in the forefront of advancing their students’ rights and should show that they are a safe place for everyone. Then the first girl asked: “If gay marriage becomes legal, will churches be forced to perform gay marriages?”

Man, the misinformation being tossed about is shocking. I was a bit disgusted that a student at Hamline did not know better, but the other students quickly informed her that voting No will not make gay marriage legal and, even when it does become legal one day, churches are still free to forbid gay marriages in their churches, just as they are now free to forbid interracial marriages, or (in the case of my former religion), weddings that don’t use Kingdom Melodies or have a limosine.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

This morning, Owen and I went to another one of Lowe’s Build and Grow workshops. This was our first time going there since May, but I decided to forego their summer workshops that featured nothing but DreamWorks film tie-ins.

As we approached the store this morning, we saw, parked at the other end of the lot, a fire truck. Owen asked why it was there (he thinks I know these things), and I told him I didn’t know. We guessed that maybe there had been a small fire or an accident.

Then we went inside, and Owen began work on today’s project, which was a fire truck. While he worked on it, it dawned on me that the fire truck parked outside must be part of today’s event. When I told Owen this, he instantly remarked that it’s too bad they didn’t have an ice cream truck here back in May, when the workshop project was an ice cream truck kit.

I liked today’s project, by the way. It wasn’t ridiculously simple – like the racecar he made last spring that had a grand total of five pieces. And it wasn’t useless, like the mini-chalkboard he also made last spring. Apart from one wheel that was incredibly difficult to nail to the axle (we bent five nails in the process of trying), Owen built the whole thing himself and earned his sixth iron-on patch for his apron.

Then we went outside and toured the fire truck. With other kids climbingall over it, Owen went inside and out, exploring all the gadgetry andexpressing constant amazement at the size of the vehicle. He requested I take the picture you see to the right. Owen is seated on the engine’s read bumper and holding up his latest creation.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Well, as I announced last week, our sprinkler system has been extricated from our property.

Yesterday, Owen and I went around the yard removing the heads. I unscrewed them from the tubing, and Owen filled in the foot-deep holes with soil. Then I pulled up on the few exposed tubes, and cut small trenches through yard until I could unscrew them. When there was nothing to unscrew, I took my handsaw and sawed the tubes off, reburying the remaining piece as deeply as I could. Then I pulled out the soaker tubes from the flower beds. This was quite fun, really. I just got a good hold of the tube and walked away from the bed, forcing the tubes out of their shallow graves.

This morning, I disconnected the system from the water main and dug up the mainframe. Pulling the huge box out of the ground was tougher than I estimated. I kept thinking it was cemented in place in some way. So I kept digging and digging. Finally, it began to shake free and I pulled it straight up.

I filled in the resulting hole with spare soil we have in another flower bed that we plan to dismantle one of these years. I then smoothed out hte ground, pulled out oodles of ivy roots, and re-sculpted the flower beds on either side of the new space. Before, the bricks around the bed led up to the sprinkler system and then just stopped. Now they curve right up to the house. I curved them in such a way as to ensure the space between the two beds is wider than my lawnmower. This will ensure I can easily get in there and mow it once there’s some grass there. I used a few of the flat bricks, which before were in front of the mainframe, to line the space directly adjacent to the house. My reasons for this were because I did not want grass growing right up next to the house, and the gas meter is right above this space, so I don’t want to have to ram the mower into the meter every time I mow. Jennifer said this was a good idea.

While working on this project, Owen reminded me that I would not have to hire someone to come and blow out the system at the end of the season this year. I agree son: pulling out the sprinkler system has already saved me fifty bucks. Woo hoo! Now to hop over to Craig’s List and sell the parts for more money…

Friday, 21 September 2012
While I usually take Owen out to the corner drug store on Fridays, I had to change it up a bit this week, due to a college obligation today. So, back on Wednesday, after picking Owen up from school, he and I muscled up to the ice cream fountain. While he licked his dessert and played the peg game, I snapped this picture:

Look! How cool is that? There’s The 2013 Saint Paul Almanac on its very own display and up for sale. Just before I took this picture, Owen had to take one of the books off the rack and open to the page with his picture. (Yes, it’s true, there’s a picture of Owen accompanying one of my stories. Jennifer took the picture. Thus, three members of our family are referenced on one page of the almanac and, yes, Isla noticed she’s not included.) He showed the soda jerk his picture, and she said, “Wow, that’s cool!”

Meanwhile: Today I stopped at the public library to return two books and pick up two more. And, while there, I just had to stop in the 211 section and take this picture:

Look! How cool is this? There’s a copy of Atheist Voices of Minnesota on the shelf at 211.8092 right where it belongs, near The God Delusion, The Agnostic Reader, The Loser Letters and Science versus Religion. Of course, it also has some pretty shady company, too, but I don’t care: the cool thing is that some of my writing is out there: at the corner drug store and the local library.

Thanks for indulging my narcissism.

Thursday, 20 September 2012
If you want to make fun of a religion without upsetting anyone, it seems your best bet is to make a sarcastic remark about Scientology. As a non-religious person, this seems a bit like the pot calling the kettle a slightly different shade of black.

So, mindful of the cliche, I am hereby going to poke fun of Scientology, but only because it dropped right in front of my feet. Literally. I picked up the mail off our porch this evening, and this is what I saw:

Ignore the top half of this image, which I only included in the scan to show that this flyer is, indeed, brought to me from my neighbors at the Church of Scientology in downtown St. Paul. What caught my eye was the lower half of this flyer: LOVE? and HATE?.

I think that’s a good way to demonstrate love. Just two intertwined hands. My guess is these two hands belong to lovers, but it could be familial or friendship love. (I’m sure it’s not agape love, though, since that’s the lowest kind of love, but that’s another story).

Anyway, what’s with the hate [portion of the] mail? Why does lightning equal hate? There are so many good ways to show hate…they could have shown a masked crinimal assaulting some old lady, or a KKK cross-burning, or some random dude with his fists clenched or a bunch of people with headbands, goatees, and sticks. But lightning? I don’t get it. Do Scientologists believe that lightning is evil? In that case, I could never be a Scientologist, ‘casue I think lightning is really cool. I mean, what other non-living thing has a distinct name for its sound? Way cool.

Also this evening, Isla pulled a red basket off a shelf in the toy room, and began pulling out the puzzle pieces, one by one. She began with the black and white pieces (shown in the center, below), and then alternated each side of the “train” until she completed the whole line. Owen and I read an entire chapter out of a book while she was this. I was impressed with her dedication:

Here she is seen about to attach the final few pieces. Alas, my act of taking a picture disturbed her concentration and she didn’t bother to hook together the last three pieces. Oh well. Still pretty impressive.