Verbisaurus Blogicus

Saturday, 13 October 2012

This afternoon, I attended the Twin Cities Book Festival. Unlike previous years, this time the festival was held in a building at the State Fair grounds, so that was pretty awesome. They used to hold the fair at the Minneapolis Community and Technical College, in downtown Minneapolis. This assured that there was no place to park. But this year, it was closer to my house, and parking was free of both frustration and fees.

A couple of months back, I had this idea that I would show up with, like, $200 and just spend it on all the awesome books for sale. Alas, due to a string of badly-timed events, I had to attend the fair with no money. So…I just tried to find a bunch of free stuff.

I grabbed about ten pieces of candy, an apple, two bookmarks, and even a book. The book was available for free at a table called “Muslim Media.” It’s called A Brief Illustrated Guide to Islam, and it’s not quite a hundred pages. They were also giving away free copies of the Qu’ran, but I already have a copy, so I didn’t take off with another one.

I had a chance to ask the (presumably) Muslim man who was hosting the table a couple of questions I had. First, is it necessary to learn Arabic if I wish to read the Qu’ran? He said no, but, like Shakespeare in English, it sure is advantageous to read it in the original language.

My second question was: Do people mix you up with Hindus and Sihks and Buddhists? Yeah, he said this happens quite often, though the Twin Cities are better than other areas of the countries he’s been to (yay!). He mentioned the event, back on September 12, 2001, when some redneck opened fire on a Hindu man thinking “his people” were responsible for the terrorist attack. He and I both agreed that killing someone in cold blood because they happen to belong to the same religion as a megalomaniac is bad enough, but not even knowing the difference between majore world religions is, well, really sad.

Funny thing: The Muslim Media table was right next to the Freethought House table, and one passerby asked the Muslim guy (not the same guy I was speaking with) if he felt safe being next to a group of atheists, and the Muslim said, “I feel safer being next to them than being next to other religious people, or even other Muslims.”

Sunday, 14 October 2012

As advertised earlier, today I read a portion of my essay in Atheist Voices of Minnesota during a UU church service.

I liked this church. The building itself was quite inviting and comfortable. This is the fourth UU church I’ve attended, and I think this is my favorite building. The one in White Bear Lake was also homey and environmentally-friendly, so that one’s a close second. And the one in Minneapolis is all grand and church-y (and has a great view of the ciy), but it’s also cold and sterile feeling. So, the Bloomington UU church gets my vote for best church in the Twin Cities.

I think my reading went very well. The microphone was working (that’s actually a rarity, believe it or not), the room was comfortable, and I was well-prepared with a large-font print-out of my excerpt.

Last month, as you may recall, I read a portion of my essay at the Minnesota Atheists monthly meeting. That time, I made the mistake of reading directly from the book. This was tough, because I had to force the book open and try to read the smaller print while standing and projecting my voice. So, I learned my lesson.

Afterwards, there was lunch. Tacos. So, totally awesome. Any church that offers tacos after its services is already halfway on its way to snagging my membership.

Friday, 12 October 2012

Today I dropped in at Homewood Studios in Minneapolis for the opening night of their “Under the Net” exhibit.

I’ve always been confused about the differences between a regular opening and an “official” or “grand” opening, and today is no different; the exhibit actually opened back on Wednesday, the tenth, but today it was all official and whatnot.

At any rate, my short story “Bad Air” is on display at the exhibit. I never would have thought that a short story could be on display in an art gallery, but here it is. It’s the only short story on display, but there are about half a dozen poems, too, so it’s not the only written piece.

The majority of the pieces are paintings, sculptures, photographies, and stuff that I’ll just call decoupage, because I can’t think of a better name.

I had a good time. There was dinner, drinks, and some great socializing with artsy-types. Many of them are part of the Hamline community, because this event was co-sponoserd by my university. All the pieces (including) mine were on sale, with the proceeds going to benefit anti-malaria efforts.

Above: Here’s my short story, hogging a whopping three frames. Notice the netting strung up – very fitting. I took this photo at such an oblique, badly lit angle because others were standing in front of my work, and I think I might have been violating all sorts of legal and ethical laws by snapping a photo of art hanging up in a gallery. Oh, and my apologies to the artist who’s work appears on the left side of this photo.

This coming Tuesday (the 16th) there will be a reading. I’m reading my short story and others will be reading their poems. Come and join me, if you’d like. Details are here.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

I will be one of a few people speaking this Sunday (14 October) at the Minnesota Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Bloomington. Like my reading at the Minnesota Atheists’ Monthly Meeting a few weeks ago, this event will highlight the new book that I helped edit, Atheist Voices of Minnesota. That meeting featured sixteen authors reading an excerpt (or more) from their essays. This upcoming event will feature only three or four people reading from their essays and a time for audience questions. I think, therefore, that this will actually be a more interesting event.

Let me try to answer other questions you may have about this event…

Q: Hold on – so  a church is really gonna feature a book with “atheist” in the title during their Sunday services?

A: Yes. These guys are Unitarian Universalists, which is a tongue-twisting way of saying, “Church for people who don’t like the make-believe parts of other churches.”

Q: Really? So the congregation is just made up of secularists? Why are they even members of a church, then?

A: Well…I guess some of the members believe in gods, the supernatural, and (presumably) unicorns. In fact, the woman coordinating the event said a small percentage of members identify as Liberal Christians and a slightly larger number consider themselves somewhere in the theist camp (think new-agers). As for the other members, I assume they like church for the socializing and music. I can relate to that. That’s what I liked about my former church, too. Well, not the music.

Q: Okay, but this still seems like an unusual topic for a church to cover.

A: That’s not a question, but I think I get what you’re saying. All I can say is, they’re a unique bunch. I’ve never been to this Bloomington location, but I have attended four or five UU services at three different churches, and they pretty much go for anything: one time they just held a concert the whole hour. Another time they talked about the awesomeness of evolution. Another time they talked about living green. Another time they interviewed a missionary, so I took Owen and walked around the grounds for the hour.

Q: But I’m religious, so will I be offended if I show up?

A: As a religious person, getting offended is probably something that happens to you every day (see Ecclesiastes 7:9). But…no…these guys are pretty respectful of most beliefs. On the other hand, if just being in my company is offensive to you…well, then, you’re not in a religion. You’re in a cult.

Q: Can I bring my kids?

A: Yes, of course. We’re bringing both of ours. There’s a toddler daycare service there (it’s free) and then there’s another place for young kids. Kids are welcome to sit in and listen to the service, too, but if they make any noise – any noise at all – everyone will look at you with that why-don’t-you-put-your-brat-in-childcare look.

Q: What time does it start?

A: It starts at 10:30. I’ve been told the Atheist Voices portion will be about 35 minutes long, but the whole service will last for just over an hour, because they sing songs (think “Morning has Broken“), have annoucements, and say some life-affirming or empowering words.

Q: Where is it, exactly?

A: It’s at 10715 Zenith Avenue South, in Bloomington, or N44.8102 by W93.3215, if that’s more your style. I’ve never been there before, but it looks likes it’s just north of the Minnesota River, just west of 35W and about 1,205 miles from the Alamo.

Q: I don’t know…I don’t think I can go because I’ll miss the football game.

A: Again, that’s not a question, but the Whiteskins don’t play the Native Americans until 3:30, so you’ll have plenty of time to come to church and get back home in time to worship your TV.

Q: Okay. But do I have to go?

A: No. We’re only talking about the eternal salvation of your soul, here.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

There was another round of lay-offs at my job today.

This marks the fifth time since my hire date that there has been a round of lay-offs that could possibly affect me. There have been many others, for sure, but those were for other sites or departments. But not counting those, there’s been a steady stream of “right-sizing” that’s affected my deparmtent about once every two years.

The first time there were lay-offs, one man from my deparment was let go. That was in early ’07, and I was afraid that I wouldn’t have anywhere else to go work. That’s because, back then, we lived way the hell up in Big Lake and any other place of employment in my area of specialty would have been quite a commute.

The second time was later that same year, and they released another guy from his employment in my department.

The third time was a little over a year later. No one from my department was axed on that day, but my co-worker’s wife (who worked in another department) was laid off, so that was too bad.

The fourth time was the biggie. We were all pretty sure we were getting kicked out. My manager even suggested to us that we look for employment elsewhere. I, and two of the women in my department, made good on his words and managed to transfer to different departments in the nick of time. Four other co-workers weren’t so lucky. The four of them represented over a quarter of our entire department and, with six people transferring (including me) over the next few months, and two people quitting, the department of fifteen was down to three by year’s end. They did hire on a couple of contractors, but they’ve since been let go, too.

So today was number five for me.

I’m still employed.

Sunday, 07 October 2012

Today marks the second day in a row that I did not ride in or drive a car. I consider this a win.

In fact, the only time this weekend that I even stepped outside the borders of my property was when we walked to the park this evening.

A few years back, I actually kept track of the days when I did not get into a car. This turned out to be more complicated than I thought, becuase there was one day that I only got into my car to move it from the street into the driveway, and another day all I did was back one of our cars out of the garage. Even counting those days as no-car days, the year ended up with something like 12 days of not getting into a car.

This is deplorably low. But that was when we lived in a smaller town. I think living in a big city affords greater opportunity to not get into a car, since we can walk to soooo many places.

Monday, 08 October 2012

Back on Friday, a man emailed me and said he wanted to purchase this item I had for sale on Craig’s List. We made arrangements to meet on Monday, which is today.

So I drove to the parking lot where I was supposed to meet him. I got there at 9:57. The meeting time was set for 10:00.

By 10:10, there was still no sign of him, so I called him…

ME: Hey, this is James, the guy from Craig’s list.

HE: Oh, hey man…

ME: Yeah…uh…we were planning to meet at 10:00…are you on your way?

HE: No, sorry, dude. I forgot that the utility guy was coming over today so I had to stay home and wait for him. I got your email earlier reminding me about today, but I didn’t have your phone number to call and cancel. Sorry. Can we meet another day, like tomorrow?

ME: No.

So, what’s the deal with him being unable to call me? For one thing, we spoke on the phone on Friday, so couldn’t he just hit the “reply” button on his phone? I suppose he might be using a landline or some other old technology that doesn’t tell him the number of the person who is calling, but did then why didn’t he email me? He said he saw my email this morning, but he didn’t know my number. What’s with changing the medium of our communication? He couldn’t simply reply to my email?

This happens often on Craig’s List: I post something, then someone emails me and says something stupid like: “Hey, I’d like to buy that, give me a call at 555-xxxx.” What’s with that? Why can’t we just talk via email?

This is like if I post a flyer somewhere, with little flags on the bottom with my phone number. Would someone call me and say: “Hey, I would be interested in buying the item I saw on your poster. Why don’t you give me your email address and we can write about it?” No. How about we just talk on the phone, since that’s how we started this conversation.

The other day, I got to work at 6:00 in the morning, and there was an email waiting for me from someone interested in buying something. He said: “Yeah, I’ll take that, give me a call.” He sent the email at midnight. So…was I supposed to call him that minute? Should I wait until 9:00? Or midnight? I just deleted his email.

Several months ago, I sold some shelving to a man, and there were some pieces he didn’t want. But then he emailed me about a month ago and asked if I still had those pieces. I wrote back and said I did. He said something like: “Okay, great, I’ll be in touch with you about getting them.” Um…you are in touch with me! How about just talking to me now?

Next time I see something for sale that I want, I’m gonna email the person with my phone number, and then, when they call me back, I’ll ask for their address. I will then send a carrier pigeon with a message saying to look for the smoke signal I’ll be sending that tells them which Western Union office they can go to to get my telegram that gives them my Twitter account name so that I can tweet them with information regarding a post card they will be receiving in the mail about a video conference I’d like to hold with them regarding the item in question.

Makes perfect sense, right?

Tuesday, 09 October 2012

I arrived on campus a wee bit early today, so I went in to the cafe’ (or bistro or whatever they call it) and got some lunch. The overpaid powers that be at Hamline graciously awarded all students $25 preloaded onto our student IDs to use at the cafeterias this semester and I plan to use every last cent of it.

Anyway, I sit down to eat my lunch and I pull out the book we’re supposed to be reading for class. I get about three pages read of the book and 75% of the sandwich masticated, and then – guess what? Fire drill.

So I, and everyone else in all the buildings, filed outside.

Damn, it was cold. I mean, it wasn’t really that cold, but my only weather-resistant clothing was a wind breaker; I wasn’t counting on hanging out outside.

I sat down on a cement wall, which instantly chilled my butt. I thought about standing again, but with a backpack, bottle of iced tea, a plate of food, and a textbook, I kind of needed to spread out a little bit.

About ten minutes later, they gave the all-clear signal, and I walked across the campus to class.

So my point it…Summer’s over.