Friday, 07 December 2012

 So, on a whim, I grabbed Ken Jenning’s book Maphead off the shelf at the local library. Actually, I grabbed the CD version, and I’m now listening to it during my commute. In case you don’t know – or don’t remember – Jennings scored a record-setting winning-streak on the TV show Jeopardy! about a decade back.

Here’s a funny thing: Only two disks into the book, and already he has mentioned the similarity between Wisconsin’s borders and Tanzania’s borders and Al Franken’s party trick of drawing the United States freehand – two quirks I’ve mentioned here before.

Unfortunately, the book makes several dubious claims of a really dumb nature; not the kind of thing I’d expect from a guy who lived on Jeopardy! for six months. I was trying to keep them all in my head to write about them here, but now I can only recall two.

First: He claims that the media likes to find subjects that do really dumb things (like, “9 out of 10 Americans can’t find the Pacific Ocean on a world map”). He says they do this to make the average viewer/listener feel better about themselves. But he says this right after talking about how hyped his appearance on Jeopardy! was. So…that seems to be the opposite of the point he’s trying to make. Hearing that some guy managed to beat contestant after contestant on the most brainy TV game show in existence didn’t exaclty make me feel smarter.

Second: He cites National Geographic’s sagging sales on the fact that people can see exitic photos anywhere nowadays. He then claims that the prior monopoly they had on showing bare-breasted women isn’t even a big deal now thanks to Sports Illustrated’s “Swimsuit Issues”. Um…for one thing, for eight years I worked for company’s that subscribed to Sports Illustrated, and I never saw any bare breasts in any swimsuit issue. For another thing, maybe the internet is a bigger cause for all magazine and newspapers’ sagging sales, regardless of exitic photos or scantily clad natives. 

There’s more, but, as I said, I can’t recall them right now. I plan to keep listening to the book as it’s an enjoyable enough ready, and I don’t have anything else on CD right now. But if you’re asking me, you can probably skip this one.

Saturday, 08 December 2012

This morning, Owen and I made our eighth trip to Lowe’s for their Build & Grow workshop. Today, the construction job featured a gingerbread house. A couple of Owen’s friends joined us, too, and then we went out for lunch. We had a good time, even though three young boys make for a crazy visit to Panera.

The wooden gingerbread house (oxymoron?) is now on our mantle, as part of our holiday decorations.

Here it is…

Here’s a better angle…

And here’s Owen holding the roof open. Because, well, the roof opens, and I thought you’d like to see that…

Owen now has eight patches on his apron, from attending and building eight different toys: A castle, a dinosaur, a chalkboard, a racecar, an ice cream truck, a fire engine, a prop plane, and now this gingerbread house. He told me he plans to return for more in 2013.

Sunday, 09 December 2012

Snow! Finally!

Well, there’s been a couple sprinkles here and there, but today we woke up to buckets of snow dropping out of the sky. The overwhelming piles of snow rendered us stuck at the old homestead all day today, which was just fine with me. I went outside with the kids around lunchtime to shovel, but after only four hours, my work was already buried again.

Unable to figure out the snow emergency brochure supplied by the city, I figured it was best to just get both cars off the road. So I cleared out space in the garage for my wife’s car, and then slid my car into the driveway right behind hers. Owen and I had quite a task on our hands getting the snow off the car. The snow was falling so fast, that, even after clearing off the car, I still had to have the windshield wipers on during my short trek around the corner into the driveway.

I also slapped another coat of paint onto the downstairs bathroom’s ceiling and walls.

The last big thing I took care of today was brewing beer to have it ready in time for xmas (no, it won’t be ready to drink by then, but it will be ready to give out). Thanks to all the snow and cold, I got to chill the wort using my favorite method…

Wednesday, 05 December 2012

According to the United Nations, Friendship Day is actually on July 30th, but today one of my co-workers decided to reschedule the international holiday for this morning. This worked out just fine with me, since I got stuff.

First, a pen/pencil/office supply holder that’s just like those big crates that large products are shipped in, except it’s like 1/100th the size. Very appropirate considering the department we work in.

Also, a thing (for deplorable lack of better words) that attaches to a book or binder that I can keep a highlighter, note cards, pen and other school-related stuff in. Very appropriate considering am in college and will be in college until just before my son starts college.

What a great start to the day.

Thursday, 06 December 2012

Another big, busy day today. But very fun.

First, I took Owen to school.

Then I participated in Hamline’s “This is My Story” discussion panel. This month, the panel concerned religious diversity, and since I’m as diversity as it gets, I was invited to participate. I was on the panel with a pastor and a rabbi. Still, that majority of the questions were directed to me. I guess people find an ex-Jehovah’s Witness/atheist absolutely fascinating. Just like a circus freak. Good. I hope they buy my book.

Then I met with my professor about my final paper and the presentation I’ll be giving next week in class. Boring stuff I won’t write about here.

Then I went to Ace Hardware. I returned the dimmer switches that didn’t work (see HERE for that), then complained about the paint they sold me and scored a free quart of paint.

Then I drove to the Mall of Hysteria. Bought Owen a Winter Solstice gift from the Lego Store, then stopped at the XXXXXX store and bought some XXXXXXX for XXXXXXXX (sorry, had to edit in case they read this). Next, I walked over to Teavana and bought some pricey, swanky, loose tea like the affectatious, hippy St. Paulite that I am. Then I went over to Tea Source and bought more tea. Yep, I like tea that much that I actually have to visit multiple stores to fill my need (i.e., “want”).

This evening, I hosted Atheists Talk for, like, the twenty-fifth time. I interviewed Rohit Ravindran about his philosophy of tying in atheism with veganism. Bascially, he asserts that the same logic and rationale that lead one to reject magic sky-people should also lead them reject subjecting animals to concentration camps and murdering them just so we can have Big Macs. Very compelling, actually. We even aired a graphic video of footage from inside a factory farm. It’s pretty much the stuff that nightmares are made of. FYI: I am not a vegan. I’m a pescatarian. Because I’m a hypocrite. No, no, it’s alright, I’ve been a hypocrite before. 

Note to self: Don’t show up in a leather jacket when interviewing a vegan.

Monday, 03 December 2012

Today an electrician came by our house. We had invited him, of course. He came over because we needed help with the light switches in our bathroom.

Okay, I know it’s really lame to hire an electrician for something as simple as a light switch, but I really couldn’t figure this out. There were two dimmer switches in the bathroom, and they slowly been disintergrating since we moved in. The switches have even been crackling as we’ve adjusted the dimmers.

So, a few weeks ago, I bought two new dimmer switches. I then took out the old ones, only to find a whole heap of wires. So  many, I couldn’t figure out what went where. And I couldn’t just copy how they were wired to the old switches, because that wasn’t working. Finally, I touched the wires to each other verrry carefully, and labeled them appropriately. Then I hooked up the switches again. Nothing happened. So we’ve been using a lantern in there lately.

Today, the electrician informed me my two new switches were inoperative. I found this hard to believe, as they were brand new, but he was pretty confident. He hooked up some plain ol’ on/off switches. I’m gonna return the dimmer switches to the store later this week and see if I can swap them out.

Tuesday, 04 December 2012

Nothing ceases to amaze me like my fellow students.

Today, a draft of our final paper was due. This paper is to be 8-10 pages in length with an additional works cited page with at least four sources. This is a major assignment, worth more percentage points that all the other assignments combined.

So, there’s 15 students in my class, and two didn’t even show up today. So, their draft is late. Of the remaining 13 students, only five – five! – had drafts to turn in. A couple of the students didn’t seem to know a draft was due today, even though it’s been staring us in the face on the syllabus for about three months now, and the professor mentioned it last week. A couple of others said they had electronic drafts they wanted to gussy up a bit and email to the professor this evening. She didn’t seem to like this, but she relented.

Of the five papers turned in, one of them was only one page long. So, even though he did have a draft ready for submission, it couldn’t have been much beyond an outline what he plans to write about.

All in all, though, the events of today’s class made me feel rather comfortable about my chances for a good grade on this most important assignment.

Sunday, 02 December 2012

If you want a terrible Subway Sandwich experience, I suggest you come visit the one nearest our home. I swear everytime I leave it that I’m never going back again but – wouldn’t you know it? – it’s so darn close to our house I can’t resist. It’s so close, in fact, that people park in front of our house to go to it.

Today, there was once again only one employee, the iced tea was not brewed, and the keys for the restroom were disgustingly sitting on the counter. My wife began ordering her meal, and then had to stop and say, “Hello?” to get the sandwich artist to snap back into reality. We ordered a small pizza for Isla, and when he asked how we wanted it sliced, Jennifer said to slice it into six pieces. He did this by cutting it in half (2 pieces), then half again (4 pieces), then sliced two of the pieces in half again. We had to stifle a laugh as there were now four tiny pieces and two large pieces. So Jennifer asked him to go ahead and make it eight pieces.

Then we were overcharged. I noticed this only after paying. For some reason, we were charge $4.50 for the $4.00 pizza. So I went back up to the counter.

ME: Hey, you charged us four-fifty and your sign says the pizza is only four bucks.

HE: Yeah, that’s just the computer, I can’t do anything about that.

ME: Well that’s false advertising. I agreed to pay you four dollars, not four fifty.

HE: That’s probably the tax.

ME: No, tax on four dollars is nowhere near fifty cents. Besides, the tax is listed here, at the bottom of the receipt.

HE: Well I can’t change the price.

ME: Well I need my money back. (I pointed to his tip jar.) Should I just take it out of here?

HE: No that’s my money.

ME: Yeah, but you stole mine.

HE: Hang on. (He then helps another customer, then pops open the cash register and hands me fifty cents.)

ME: Fifty-three cents.

HE: What?

ME: I need fifty-three cents. Look at the receipt, I was taxed on that fifty cents.

HE: Really?

ME: Yeah.

He then stared at the cash register again as if it was about to bite him, and then reached into the tip jar and handed me three cents.

This is nowhere near the worst experience I’ve had at this Subway.

Saturday, 01 December 2012

Busy, accomplishy day today!

First, Owen and I headed over to Lowe’s for the seventh time this year to participate in their Build & Grow workshop. Seasoned builder Owen constructed a prop plane, which I guess is based on the one seen in the movie Rise of the Guardians. I normally have abstained from bringing him to movie tie-in workshops, but this plane just looked so fun, and it’s not overtly about the film (unlike, say, the Madagascar stuff they did this summer).

Here he is hard at work:

At home, I first put a second coat on the walls and ceiling in the downstairs bathroom. I was rather pleased with this, but later we determined everything will need another coat, and I’m out of paint…so another trip to the store is in order (sigh).

Then I headed upstairs to Isla’s room and, finally, nearly a year after we purchased them, I installed the mini-blinds in her two windows. When I installed the same brand of blinds in our room last winter, I had a terrible time of it, got quite frustrated, and had to take two of them out and start over. Very bad memory. So, I wasn’t’ looking forward to putting in these two.

Thankfully, I had some residual memories of how I installed the blinds last year, and I instpected the ones in our room first, then went to work in Isla’s. I’m happy to report these two went in with no problems at all. Didn’t have to redrill any holes, or swap out any screws, or re-center the brackets.

Yesterday, I busted out the sheetrock on this side wall in Isla’s room that we didn’t want in there anymore. Today, I finished up the job by taking out the 2×4 frame. This, of course, left a bit of a mess, so Isla helped to clean…

I asked her to mug for the camera, and she complied…

Mercifully, Isla went to bed very early, so I spent a solid hour working on my homework. After Owen and I read a chapter out of A Dog Called Kitty, Jennifer and I sent him to bed and watched an episode of Six Feet Under.

All in all, a rather stellar day.