Verbisaurus Blogicus

Saturday, 24 November 2012

 I discovered the other day that two of the molding screws for one of the windows in Isla’s room are missing. There are holes where they’re supposed to be; there are even dark spots where the fancy washers have left their marks…but no screws.

I went to the local hardware store to buy some replacements. Alas, they only had replacements in gold and silver, not black like I wanted. So, I bought some gold ones.

Today, I looked around the house to see if the screws were missing from any other windows. There are some missing. One kitchen window is missing one screw, and the adjacent window is misssing two. Meanwhile, the small window in our mudroom is missing all four.

Whenever I see something like this in our house, I try to figure out what was going on in the previous homeowner’s brain. The best I can figure with this is that he removed the molding to paint, stain or sand, and then somehow lost some screws in the interum. Or maybe he was doing some majore rennovations in one room, and lost all the screws for one of the windows, and then took screws from other windows around the house so that no window was missing all the screws. Well, except the mudroom window. But in that case, he never bothered to install any screws in the first place. The modling is just sitting there, and you can take it out with your bare hands. I can’t figure that one out.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Today I went to the hardware store and bought more gold screw/washer combos. I had this epiphany that I would replace all the screws in the windows in Owen’s room with the new, gold screws. His room already sports some gold, and he claims to like the color. So, he gets the gold screws.

Then, I took the black screws I had salvaged from his room, and installed them in the missing places around the house. Except the mudroom. I still haven’t fixed that one. I’m gonna need the drill for that, so it’s a bigger job.

Here’s a visual to help you know what I’m talking about:

This is a piece of molding in the kitchen. See the hole? Yeah, a screw is supposed to go there. And notice the dark ring where a decorative washer is supposed to lie.

And after…

Okay, so this is a poor-quality picture. But that’s the best I could do with my phone’s camera. I hope you can tell that the screw and washer I absconded from Owen’s room are now in place here in the kitchen.

So now our house is just a tiny bit better than it was a few days ago. Lucky us.

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Today my wife and I drove separately to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Isla is still sick, so we figured one of us (me) would leave with her shortly after dinner.

Jennifer called the nurse hotline today, and told her Isla had a slight fever. The nurse didn’t think Isla was contagious anymore.

Isla was terribly lethargic all day, and fell asleep in the car on the way to Thanksgiving. She played for a little while, coloring with the other kids, and she ate a carrot and then a pickle. She was lying on the couch looking real tired as I was finishing up my seconds, so I scooted her toward me and said, “Should we go home as soon as I finish eating?” She said yes, and then puked all over me.

Jennifer gave her a bath, and I wiped up my in-laws’ couch while repeatedly apologizing for the vomit stench. Less than 10 minutes later, I was driving home with Isla in the back seat. She fell asleep right away, and barely stirred when I brought her into the house. She slept on the couch for a couple more hours while I did some house work.

All in all, a pretty downer Thanksgiving.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Last year, I took it as a point of pride that I did not buy anything at all on Black Friday. I did not go to any store, never got in my car, and did not buy anything online. My intention was to do the same thing today.

But that changed back on Wednesday.

See, two days ago, my plan was to stop at Northern Brewer in St. Paul to pick up some brewing ingredients. I wanted the ingredients to whip up some stuff at some point during the next couple of weeks, and I thought I might have time to make stuff this weekend. Alas, mere hours before leaving work on Wednesday, I received an email from the good folks at Northern Brewer announcing their 20% off sale, good on Black Friday only.

So, today, at noon, Owen and I battled the crowd at a very congested Northern Brewer. I was, therefore, part of the problem today. But give me a break, I was going to buy the stuff anyway, I just delayed my purchase by 42 hours.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

This morning, during my commute to work, I finished listening to the book Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President, by Candice Millard. I enjoyed listening to the book, and I will probably talk more about it later (especially in comparison to the last audio book I listened to). But here’s what I want to note right now:

The book marks the 71st book I have read this year, which ties my all-time high total, set back in 2000. Wow! I wouldn’t have guessed that I would have read so many books in a year in which I am in college, but I was in college back in 2000, too, so maybe it gives me the organization and impetus to read more. Who knows?

And speaking of reading accomplishments and books, the last book I finished reading, Diving Into the Wreck, by Adrienne Rich (which I read for class), marks the 900th book on my list of books I’ve read. Of course, I’ve read many more books than that, but this list doesn’t count really short books or little kids’ books. Still, since at least 1989, I’ve had a goal of reading 1,000 books, and I am now over 90% done with my goal. At this rate, I should reach the goal in 2014, or maybe 2015. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

As note above, the most recent book I listened to was Destiny of the Rpublic. But before that, I read The President and the Assassin. They’re both centered around the assassination of a US President.

Quick! Pop quiz: Name a president who was assassinated?

“Oh, that’s easy,” you say.

“Really?” I ask. “But can you name one besides JFK or Abraham Lincoln?”

“Ummm…”

Yeah. Tougher, isn’t it?

The fact is, four of our presidents have been assassinated: Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, and JFK. The first and last are, of course, the more famous of the four. One, because it was the man considered the best president ever and, the other, because it was by far the most recent. Those two assassinations share many similarities:

-Both men elected in ’60 (1860 and 1960).

-Both men shot in the head and died the same day.

-Both assassins were killed before they could be brought to justice.

-Both men succeeded by Vice President Johnson (Andrew and Lyndon).

But now consider the similarities between the other two men…

-Both ran on the Republican ticket.

-Both men were overweight

-Both assassinated in years ending in 1 (1881, 1901).

-Both lived for several days following the shootings.

-Both assassins had impossible-to-pronounce last names (Guiteau and Czolgosz).

-Both assassins were brought to justice, found guilty, and executed.

The book I just finished reading, the one about Garfield’s assassination, was the more interesting of the two. Probably because James Garflield was a more interesting man, and President, than William McKinley. Did you know Garfield published one of the proofs for The Pythagorean Theorum? He also advocated against the spoils system, which was how things were going back then. The spoils system bascially meant the President rewarded his friends and helpers to positions of authority, such as the cabinet, judicial appointments, and ambassadorships, regardless of the person’s credentials. Garfield didn’t think this was a good idea, and he spent the first three months in office battling senior senators who disagreed with him. And his own Vice President, too. In fact, his stance on this position is what enraged his assassin.

The President and the Assassin also held my attention, but the book wasn’t as focused; it kept moving forward and backward in time seemingly at random. It tried to cover too much – the gold standard, the Spanish-American War, the rise of American imperialism, Theodore Roosevelt’s rise to fame (Teddy was McKinley’s second VP, and the one who succeeded him to the presidency).

Sadly, both men suffered for days after being shot. Garfield actually lived for over two months, losing a third of his body weight, being paralyzed from the waist down, and being subjected to humiliating invasions. Pretty good arguments can be made that both men died from the lousy medical care they received. Garfield, for example, endured the probing by filthy physicians’ fingers, which introduced gangrene and tore new holes in his body. And when Alexander Graham Bell showed up with a new invention to determine the whereabouts of the lodged bullet, Garfield’s haughty doctor would only let Bell look for the bullet in the places where he, the doctor, believed it was. The subsequent autoposy revealed his error. At the trial, the assassin argued that the killer was not him, but Garfield’s primary physician. Pretty clever, I think.

Anyway, if you’re only going to read one, read Destiny of the Republic. And if you need a President to admire, you could do a lot worse than James A. Garfield.

Monday, 19 November 2012

The big news from today is Isla’s incessant vomiting, resulting in lost sleep, me going into work late, lots of laundry, and Jennifer’s five hour visit to urgent care with Isla. As I type this, Isla is calmly sleeping on my chest, and Mama is out getting a prescription filled. I was going to write about it here, but then I figured Jennifer would be better at that. I will let her fill you in on the details, as I’m sure she will when she updates the kids’ blog.  

So, instead, I will talk about the upcoming holiday which, barring the spread of Isla’s virus, the four of us will be celebrating later this week.

When I was in elementary school, I was constantly explaining to my classmates why I didn’t celebrate any holidays. Every class had the occasional Jew and Muslim, so they were used to people not celebrating Xmas…but not celebrating any holiday? That was odd.

My default and succinct explanation was that Jehovah’s Witnesses believed all other religions were false, and we were no part of the world. Since we didn’t think any other religion was true, we didn’t play their reindeer games; that is, we didn’t do any religious holidays. That explained Halloween, Xmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, and that weird one where people smeared dirt on their foreheads. Being “no part of the world,” meanwhile, meant we didn’t celebrate patriotic holidays (Independence Day, Veterans Day, Presidents’ Day).

“But what about Thanksgiving?” they would ask. “That’s not religious, and its not patriotic.”

I would explain that it was patriotic, since it was just an American Holiday. They would answer that other nations also celebrated similar days of thanks and, besides, who cares if its exclusively American? Its about getting together with family and having dinner together and being thankful for what you have – which may or may not have anything to do with loving America. They would say things like, “Don’t Witnesses believe in being with their families?” and “Aren’t you glad you live in a nation that recognizes freedom of religion?”

At this point, I would generally shrug, and tell them they can ask me again next year, after the Paradise gets here. (Since, back in the 1980s, the End was really close.) Okay, I’m joking, I wouldn’t tell them they were all going to be murdered by a loving god any day now. If they wanted to hear that, they’d have to wait until I knocked on their doors on Saturday morning. In reality, I didn’t have a good answer at all.

The situation was muddied all the more the week after Thanksgiving. When people asked me what I did for Thanksgiving, I wasn’t sure if I should tell them the truth or not. Because here was the truth: I spent Thanksgiving with my family, eating turkey. Yeah, it’s true. But I didn’t want to say that, because I didn’t want to sound like I had celebrated Thanksgiving.

For almost my entire childhood, my Dad worked for the same company. Every year, on his last day of work before the Thanksgiving break, his employer awarded all the workers with a free turkey. My dad brought it home, jokingly noting that we now had our Thanksgiving turkey. My mom would then, apologetically, cook it on Thanksgiving. That was the perfect day to do it, really, because all the stores were closed (so she couldn’t run errands) and she had the whole day free to cook a big meal. She often garnished the plates with corn and cranberries because, well, those were on sale at Cub this week. And besides, they go good with turkey.

We’d usually come gather around the table at 4:00 and begin eating, and laughing that it was just like celebrating Thanksgiving. But, no, we weren’t really celebrating Thanksgiving, because that would be bad. We’d shake our heads in dismay at all the corrupt worldly people who had the audacity to gather with their families and have a turkey dinner on that day.

In fact, there were a couple of years that we even went to my grandparents’ house for turkey dinner. My grandma typically excused this behavior by arguing that this was the only day she could get everyone together. We didn’t stay late, though, because Thursdays were always a meeting night, and we had to get to bookstudy to read from the book Revelation-It’s Grand Climax at Hand! for the umpteenth time.

When I was a young adult, there was no compulsion to be with my family on Thanksgiving. And when co-workers would ask why my family didn’t take advantage of the day to get together, I explained that we got together at other times during the year. This was a complete lie, as my family never got together in one big group unless there was a special occasion, such as a wedding or graduation. For most of my 20s, my wife and I hung out with our friends on Thanksgiving, ensuring we stayed separate from the wicked world – the world that “god loved so much.”

Two days from now, many Witnesses will gather for dinner. Some will excuse their behavior claiming it’s just a convenient time to get together. Many will be eating turkey – having obtained a free one from their employer, or a discounted one from Rainbow Foods. But they’re not celebrating Thanksgiving – oh no – they’re not. ‘Cause that wold be bad. Barring illness, my wife, kids, and I will be at Jennifer’s parents’ house along with her grandma, uncles, aunts, cousins, and others. Except for the fact that I know turkey will be the main course, it’s not going to be any different from any other time her family gets together (and her family really does get together on non-holidays). Oh, the other difference is that my wife’s sister Myrtle definitely won’t be there. ‘Cause if she was enjoying a dinner with her worldly relatives on Thanksgiving, that would be bad. So the rest of us will probably talk about how loving her religion is, and her faith-induced shunning will probably cause us all to convert.

Maybe we’ll all convert by 7:30, and then we can go to the meeting with her.

If she’s not too full from eating turkey with her friends.

Thursday, 15 November 2012

Today we tried to make progress on Isla’s room. I took the day off from work and so, once Owen was at school and Isla was at her baby-sitter, we had the place to ourselves. We managed to get a second coat of paint on everything.

Of course, we broke for lunch. There’s an awesome Thai food restaurant about three blocks from our house. We’d only been there once before, but we really liked it. Since the best time to go to a restaurant is when our kids aren’t with us, we felt it was our duty to take a lunch break at a dining establishment.

After lunch, we accomplished a little more work in Isla’s room. Then Jennifer had to go pick up our daughter, and I had to get to class.

This evening, Owen assisted me in getting another coat of paint on the wall in the basement (which, believe it or not, actually helps us complete Isla’s room).

This weekend we plan to do more painting, and I’m gonna install a closet in the basement so I can remove my clothing from Isla’s room. Wish us luck.

Friday, 17 November 2012

This evening, the four of us sat down to watch a movie together. It is extremely difficult to find a movie that all of us will enjoy, so this doesn’t happen to often. I mean, we all sit down together on Wednesday and Sunday nights to watch the latest episodes of Survivor and The Amazing Race, but this isn’t ideal. For one thing, many of the commercials during the shows depict graphic violence and upsetting imagery. I’m not opposed to my kids seeing violence on TV (to an extent, of course), but these images really bother Owen. So we have to be on guard to change the channels. Also, Isla really couldn’t care less about the shows, so often our TV hour devolves into a scramble to keep Isla quiet and entertained.

Anyway, this evening we watched Winnie the Pooh. The one that came out last year (not the one from 1977). It has no scary imagery and, at 63 minutes long, it’s scarcely longer than a TV show, so that works for Isla.

I’m happy to report that the film was quite good. My wife complained of it being a little boring, which, I guess, it was. I pointed out to her that we weren’t the target audience. Of course, the best in “children’s’ films” is entertaining for adults, too (think: WALL-E), so this wasn’t in that stratosphere. But nor was it roll-your-eyes stupid fare that, in my opinion, is almost insulting to kids. There have been a few films like that – where I sat down to watch them with Owen, shook my head in disgust, then quickly packaged it up and whisked it back to Netflix. This movie was waaay better than that.

The film is very much in keeping with the spirit of Disney’s 1977 foray into the Hundred Acre Woods. The animation is hand-drawn. The characters interact directly with the text of Milne’s novels (e.g., piglet slams into a sentence and bounces off some words), and a narrator not only sets the scenes, but nudges the characters along.

Despite the short run time (at one minute shorter than Dumbo, it is the third-shortest film on my list of motion pictures I’ve seen), there are several interwoven plots: the gang is worried that Christopher Robin has been abducted by a scary monster, Eeyore has lost his tail and needs help finding it, and most of the characters fall into a hole that they dug. And, of course, Pooh is trying to obtain hunny (honey). It’s funny, witty, and poignant.  I’m kind of baffled that this wasn’t nominated for Best Animated Picture at this year’s Oscar ceremony, especially since Rango, a marginally logical welter, won the prize. But I have many issues with the Oscar selection process, so…whatever.  If you have kids under 10, this would make a great family flick to rent. Two of the extras include a short Pooh film, and a non-related story about the Loch Ness Monster. Both are also fun and appropriate.

Saturday, 17 November 2012

This morning, Owen and I went to the U of M along with a couple of his schoolmates (and their dad). The U’s College of Science and Engineering held a family day today.

Owen and I went to this last year, too, so there was quite a bit of repeating. This time we attended a presentation called “Energy and U,” which was fun primarily for the fact that the presenters blew stuff up about ten times. Owen thought the highlight was the five second clip from Star Wars where Luke blows up the Death Star using lasers.

We also went into the Exploradome. This is a big, blow-up contraption where you have to lay on the floor and you look up at the “sky” while they zoom you around the solar system and the galaxy.

This was my third time in the Exploradome. I first visited it when they paid a visit to my job (since my employer helps pay for the thing, they kind of owed us), and then again at an astronomy fest Owen and I attended in early 2010. It’s well worth the visit – if the Exploradomw is ever coming to your local school or library, take you kid. Or just go yourself if you don’t have any kids. It’s fascinating. Find out more here: CLICK THIS. Oh, and bring a pillow.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

More painting today. Actually, only Jennifer painted, as I tried to keep the kids entertained and out of her hair. I think some of the woodwork is now done being painted, although some of it will require another coat. Though I am a fan of colder, snowier Novembers, I am pleased that the past several days have been warm enough to keep the windows open to allow for venting of the fumes.

In a related story, I purchased and assembled a closet for the basement. Owen helped, too. This evening, I made a few trips from Isla’s room carrying my clothes downstairs. Having my clothes downstairs has the added bonus of being right next to the bathroom. Until now, I’ve had to grab my clothes for work the next day and carry them downstairs each evening and set them on the bathroom counter. If I forgot to do this, I’ve had to verrry quietly go into Isla’s room in the early morning and feel around for clothes, or use a flashlight and risk waking her up. No more. Starting tonight, I no longer have to pick out clothes the night before. Tomorrow morning I will wake up, go downstairs, and pick out clothes with the lights on and without having to tiptoe around. Yay for me.

The next step is to get the built-in closet out of Isla’s room. So…if you’re in the market for some closet shelving, now would be an opportune time to let me know.