“Goblet” is Just a Fancy Word for “Mug”

So, my quest to complete the enjoyable but non-spectacular Harry Potter series took a turn for the worse with book Four, also known as the Goblet of Fire.

What I enjoyed about the first three books was the all-encompassing universe, and how all the little threads of story lines come together in the end. I have been led to believe, by fans and casual readers alike, that the first three books are simply fun children’s tales…it’s the final four books – all more than double the length of any of the first three – that are darker and more engaging. Maybe Goblet suffers from middle-child syndrome.

In Goblet of Fire (and don’t worry, I won’t wreck anything for those of you who haven’t read it yet), we are first forced to sit through a book-within-a-book about the Quidditch World Cup. Of course, this world cup is never even mentioned in the earlier books, and the reader knows nothing about any of the teams…so, though the several chapters about the world cup do drop hints of the later, more important plot, the sporting event itself, and the many details provided are completely uninteresting.

Finally, Harry and his young friends start the school year, eagerly wondering about a special surpise they’ve heard about. And here’s the surprise: students from two other schools will be competing in various wizarding contests along with Hogwart’s (that’s Harry school) for a tri-wizard cup. These competitions are so dangerous and life-threatening, that the schools agreed the cancel the competitions 100 years earlier. Sounds exciting, but then we find out that only one student from each school can compete (meaning that dozens of students from the visiting schools just sit around all year and waste a year of their education – I’m not joking here)! So, naturally, we assume the competitor from Hogwarts will be Harry, right? Wrong! Only students 17 years of age and older (Harry’s only 14) can participate. This leaves out not only Harry, but also, Ron, Hermoine, Ginny, Fred, George, Neville and pretty much every other character we’ve come to love out of the running. But wait – there’s more! The yearly quidditch games, which we actually do care about (since we’ve come to know the teams and players) is entirely cancelled. You know, because one student will be soooo busy with three challenges (yep, just three) that no one else will have time to play their favorite sport AT ALL. Additional, the inter-house championship is also evidently cancelled; or, at least, it receives nary a word in “Goblet”

As you might have guessed (and I guessed it on about page 6), Harry nevertheless manages to become the competitor from his school (and, to make things confusing, the competitors are called “champions”). How does he do it? Well, we don’t know. And neither does Harry. It seems someone else has put his name into the aforementioned goblet. But wait – isn’t Harry too young? Yes, but once the goblet chooses a player, you can’t say no. Hey, isn’t Harry worried he’s gonna die, seeing how he’s so young and inexperienced compared to the other champions? Well, yes, but he HAS to play…because some stupid cup told him he has to play. Aren’t the other students crying foul because Harry got to play and they didn’t? Again, yes, but how can you say no to a goblet? Did I mention it’s a freakin’ goblet?

Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was forced to participate in an activity that A) I wasn’t too thrilled about in the first place; B) caused my peers to harass me and; C) might just cost me my life, I would do the most half-assed job ever (I know because this always happened in gym class). So when Harry has to battle a dragon, and he’s afraid that he’ll get killed, instead of just running to the other side, or collapsing on the ground stating he didn’t want to play anyway, he actually goes through all the motions of preparing, cheating and trying…just like all the real champions do.

Harry’s heart, though, just isn’t in it. In fact, it’s not in anything. When it comes time for the Christmas Ball, Harry doesn’t even want to go. Actually, it’s funny anyone even goes, because Hogwart’s, like most schools, is nearly deserted during the Xmas break as all the students have gone home for break. Inexplicably, no one bothers going home this year. Anyway, Harry doesn’t want to go to the dance, but his dorm master reminds him that it’s tradition for the school champion to ‘open the dance’. What? How can there be a tradition if there hasn’t been a tri-wizard challenge in 100 years, and if there’s never been a Xmas dance before? And why doesn’t Harry jsut say: “You know what? I didn’t volunteer for your stupid competition, so why don’t you get some other yes-boy to do your bidding?” Who knows.

Each individual task is exciting enough, but there’s only three of them, and they are separated by months, the last one even occurring in late June. (How long is Hogwart’s school year?! Nevermind, in this book, it makes no sense.)

How does it end? Well, I don’t want to ruin the ‘excitement’ for you, but, suffice it to say, it ends up not even mattering. Ha! Take that loyal readers of 700 pages! In the end, the dunces at Hogwarts send the boy you love to hate back with his abusive uncle and aunt…for the fourth time.

If “Order of the Pheonix” sucks as bad as “Goblet of Crap”, I won’t be completing the series.

Sorcerer’s Stone…B+
Chamber of Secrets…B-
Prisoner of Azkaban…B
Goblet of Fire…C-

To the Reading of Many Books There is No End

Ever since we moved to the new apartment and bought a new book shelf, I’ve been very aware that I have a lot of books to get through.

Through a series of fortunate events, I’ve come to own several books that I haven’t even read yet. I received a gift certificate to a book store for my birthday, and then another one on our anniversary, and then two more at xmas. I also attended a conference for chromatographers, where I won another gift certificate. At another conference I attended (See below), it was all I could do to limit myself to the three books that I did buy. And then Half-priced Books sent me a “25% off any one item” coupon…and how could I pass that up?

So I created a list of all the books on our bookshelf that I own, but haven’t read yet.

There are 19 books on the list.

But wait! There’s more! That list doesn’t include the five books I am currently reading. Five books…who reads five books at once? Well, I didn’t intend for that to happen, it just did.

There is, of course, the main book I am reading right now: the recent book from Lawrence Krauss (see his picture below). Did I mention that it’s an autographed copy?

But then there’s also the book on the history of tea that I keep at work & read during my lunch breaks. And then there’s Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader – a book specifically designed to be utilized while relaxing on the toilet. The book’s been sitting on top of the toilet for over two years and I’m not even half way through with it (primarily because I usually bring another book with me when venturing to the privy). I am also listening to the entire Harry Potter series while driving. And, finally, there’s a small book I keep in the other car to read on the rare occasion when I am not driving. As it is a book detailing the origin of Minnesota place names, somehow it seems fitting to read it while in the car.

I hope to tackle the majority of these books in the next few months. Lately, a few new projects have entered my life and I’d like to give them more time.

Will write more soon …I’m off to the library now.

Amazing Prophecy Proves Watchtower Society is One True Channel to God!

Recently, I had yet another discussion with a relative concerning religion. Specifically, he contended that everything he believed was completely true and unfalsifiable while everything I believed was in error.

After pointing out to him the incorrect Watchtower teaching of a global flood, and that Jerusalem was not destroyed in 607 b.c., he invited me to find faith in the bible (and, by extension, the Watchtower Society) by invoking the power of prophecy. My cousin asked about the bible prophecy in which it was foretold that Babylon would be uninhabited. Today, he said, it’s not inhabited…viola!…the bible is inspired by God.

This is one of about ten prophecies that are touted out by Witnesses in an effort to prove the divinity of the bible. Though my cousin couldn’t recall where in the bible this was located, he was talking about Isaiah 13:19-22.

I explained to my cousin that this prophecy – if it was even written when the Watchtower Society claims it was written (doubtful) – isn’t really that amazing anyway. I said: “That’s like if I prophecy that New York City will be uninhabited in the year 2808. It probably will be! That doesn’t mean I’m a prophet!”

But he said: “No, it’s more like if you said New York won’t be inhabited five years from now and then your prophecy comes true.”

Like most Witnesses, my cousin hereby revealed that he doesn’t even know the very teachings he has dedicated his life to. The Watchtower claims Isaiah wrote his book around the year 800 b.c. And I informed my cousin that the Apostle Peter wrote the book 1 Peter while in Babylon some 900 years later – thereby proving it was still inhabited. My cousin doubted my words, but I gave him a specific Watchtower reference that would show I was correct.

“In fact,” I added, “Babylon was still inhabited 1,200 years after that prophecy.” I told him it was very likely that most cities now in existence would be gone 1,200 years from now. He disagreed, stating that most cities last for a long, long time. Babylon, he asserted, is highly unusual.

Again, he’s basing his faith (and entire way of life) around something he has not taken the time to investigate. Memphis, Carthage, Nineveh, Troy, Ur, Kish, Herculaneum, Et-tell (better known as Ai) are all cities that, in their day, were booming metropolises and, now, are completely sans citizens.

And here’s a whole article about ghost towns – most of which were inhabited 100 years ago.

And here’s a city that has gone from booming to uninhabited in my own lifetime.

And here’s the real kicker…part of the prophecy stipulated that Babylon would never be inhabited again, but it may become a city in the near future!

Even the Watchtower Society is worried about this development. Back in 1957, they confidently asserted : “Many cities are conquered and destroyed and yet are rebuilt. But not so with Babylon” (W 9/15/57, page 555).

Forty years later, they changed their tune: “Any restoration of Babylon as a tourist attraction might lure visitors, but Babylon’s ‘progeny and posterity’ are gone forever” (A book for all people, 1997, page 29). Hmm…so when the bible said it would be uninhabited, I guess that was with the one caveat that it may be a tourist attraction one day. Using this reasoning, I’d like to visit that uninhabited ghost town known as Las Vegas one day.

I Met One of My Heroes

On Saturday, 22Mar08, I attended the 20th annual American Atheists Conference. I went, along with my pal Ryan, thinking it would be mildly interesting. Well, I was wrong.

It was freakin’ awesome.

Ryan and I attended only one day of the conference. It began with a discussion by the president of MN Atheists on the work they are doing to insure separation of church & state at a state level. Specifically, a bill was proposed in the House calling for funds to be allocated for separate meals in public schools for those whose religion calls for it. The MN Atheist President pointed out the folly of pursuing this route by appealing to the Democrats on the basis of separation of church and state and appealing to the Republicans on the basis of how much money it will cost (and personal responsibility in regards diet). The bill died in session.

Other discussions included a hilarious rant on the ridiculous beliefs of the relgious right. (One book advocated preventing homosexual tendencies in your child by taking him in the shower with you and showing him your similar, but larger, penis. I guess this advise was meant for fathers.) Another speaker detailed his discoveries in Israel regarding the myth of Nazareth.

In between each talk was a 15-20 minute break, during which time we hobnobbed with others, visited the booths, and spent our meager funds on books and t-shirts and grabbed all manner of freebies. Ryan quickly developed a crush on the woman behind the communism table, and I developed a crush on the books she was selling.

The highlight of the day, however, was the talk “A Cosmic Mystery Story”, given by Dr. Lawrence Krauss. Larry (as I call him), excitedly regaled us with words and images about the history of Dark Matter – beginning with Einstein’s “Greatest Blunder”, Hubble’s discovery of a non-static universe, and the debate between flat- vs. open- vs. closed-universes. He next explored the mystery of dark matter – how we know it’s there and so forth. This was, hands down, the best talk I have ever heard, both on subject matter and speaking ability. (Possible exception: Mike Lewis’ March 1996 talk “Local Needs”. Just Kidding.)

In case you haven’t figured it out yet: Larry is one of my heroes. He was the main reason why I purchased a ticket for the event. I’ve read several of his books, my favorite being “The Physics of Star Trek“. His reads are always enjoyable, and I decided to buy his latest book, “Hiding in the Mirror“, sight unseen while there.

After his talk, I lined up to have him sign both the new book & my tattered old copy of “Physics of Star Trek”. I told him it was honor to met him, and he not only signed both my books (In “Star Trek”, he told me to ‘live long and prosper’), but agreed to have his photo taken with me. Unfortunately, I only had my cell phone’s camera with me, which evidently erases people’s upper lips, but, anyway, here’s the picture as proof…

The Conference ended with an ‘ask the experts’ round table, where submitted questions were answered by experts. One of the experts had to cancel due to sudden illness, so guess who took her spot? Richard Dawkins! He had spoken at the Conference the day before and not hearing him speak was one of my biggest regrets about not attending Friday’s session. Anyway, Dawkins spoke only briefly (when questions suited his area of expertise), but he spoke with such eloquence, such intellect, that I was happy to hear him for the little time that I did. Ryan totally whored himself out to Dawkins by buying a t-shirt, having him sign it, and then shooting footage of Dawkins as he spoke. I am hereby sending out a request to Ryan that he upload said footage sometime this decade.

Anyway, I don’t know where the Conference is to be held next year, but I’m gonna put forth an effort to attend.

From 31Mar08 Chemical and Engineering News

Here’s a couple of fascinating things I just learned. I wanted to provide links to these articles but, alas, you can only get to the article if you have a subscription to Chemical & Engineering News, and I doubt everyone does.

1) How can the squid, with its very soft body, not manage to hurt itself with that tough beak?
The article says “you can imagine the problems you’d encounter if you attached a knife blade to a block of Jell-O and tried to use that blade for cutting. The blade would cut through the Jell-O at least as much as the targeted object”.
Turns out, the beak’s stiffness gradually from the tip to the base. In fact, the base is some 100 times more flexible than the tip, which reduces impact on the cheek tissue near the beak’s base.

2) Organic Brew found on Enceladus.
Usually, when scientists speak of finding life elsewhere in the solar system, they are speaking of Mars, Titan or Europa. So, it’s quite a find to have discovered that parts of Saturn’s satellite Enceladus are about 63 degrees (F) warmer than previously thought. And, there are water vapors and organic chemicals near the southern polar region, a recent Cassini flyby found. These molecules are present some 20x more dense then was expected and include such compounds as carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide.
Some smart guy at JPL said: “We have quite a recipe for life on our hands, but we have yet to find the final ingredient, liquid water”.
I just think it’s pretty cool that we’re exploring the universe and yet we still manage to find surprises in our own back yard.