Sunday, 03 October 2010

You know what I like about the Twin Cities’ Marathon? Well, nothing actually. But you know what I don’t like? The fact that it bisects the city in half.

I commented about this on Facebook last year – when I went to work to get some overtime that Sunday, only to find I couldn’t get home (I waited in a parking lot).

Today, I somehow forgot about this vivisection of the city, and we tried to drive to Target which, unfortunately, means we have to cross Summit Avenue.

But Summit was closed.

My wife smartly thought up taking Ayd Mill Road, certainly one of the strangest roads I’ve ever driven on, but at least it goes under Summit instead of through it. The problem was, everybody else had the same idea. In time, though, we made it to Target.

Man, it’s too bad there’s not any parks – including an enormous regional park that stretches into Fort Snelling State Park and then up into Minneapolis – that the marathon could traverse. It’s so much better that they totally disrupt traffic over a several mile stretch for hours. Makes perfect sense.

Monday, 04 October 2010

Today I paid a visit to that time-sucker known as “The Department of Motor Vehicles.” If you ever have the displeasure of visiting the Maple Grove location, let me key you in on a few things: first, it’s set up like an airport terminal – you check in with someone at the front desk, who then prints out a number and tells you to have a seat. The seats are arranged theater style, so you can watch a muted TV screen that plays snippets of movies. I was privy to a fun flip-flopping between good vs. shitty films (Casablanca, then Goblet of Fire, then The Incredibles). Anyway, I usually like to see what number I have, and then gauge my wait based on what number they’re on (“Hmm…I’m number 83, and they’re on 71 right now…and there are 5 employees, so…”). But Maple Grove’s location rips this pleasure from me: I was number B128, but then they called D260. Then D261. Then A233. Then C119. I couldn’t detect a pattern.

Anyway, when my ‘number’ was finally called, I went up and told the guy I needed to renew my tabs. He started typing away and then pulled out new license plates.

As an aside: I also dislike new license plates. They’re a waste; the ones I have are just fine. Also, I was once detained by a cop for a half hour (on the way to a meeting as other congregation members passed me) because my new plates weren’t up (it’s a long story – ask me in person).

So I asked the DMV employee: “What determines if someone gets new plates, and not just the tabs?”

He said: “The computer tells me.”

I just kind of stared at the plates, not replying in any way. Detecting that I wasn’t happy with his answer, he added: “Well, it’s kind of like a 10/10 thing, you know? If you’re vehicle’s year plus age adds up to ten, then you get new plates.”

I nodded politely, but I’m fully flummoxed by this. Who wouldn’t add up to ten? Think about it: If your car is one year old, then that means it was made in ’09. So 1+9=10. Similarly, if your car is eight years old, then it was made in ’02. And 8+2=10. In my case, it’s 7+3=10. Who doesn’t add up to ten? I’m confused.

Tuesday, 05 October 2010

Today there was a “benefits fair” at my job, which means that representatives from our various benefit providers were on hand to answer questions and pass out swag. Delta Dental was there, Blue Cross was there, LifeWorks was there; the whole gang!

When I came up to the Unum table, I decided to ask the woman: “So how come, a few weeks ago when my daughter was born, I had to go through you guys to get my time off?”

I should probably explain that I had to call Unum last spring and tell them of Isla’s impending birth. They sent me five sheets of paper over the course of the next two months that all said the same thing: I was approved. Then, while I was on leave, I didn’t get my full pay when my paycheck arrived. I called Unum, but they said the problem was my company’s HR department. I called my HR department and (spoiler alert!) they said the problem was Unum. Long story short, all three paychecks I received while on leave were incorrect, and no one took any responsibility for it.

Anyway, the woman answered: “Well we handle all the paperwork for your company.”

“What paperwork?” I asked.

“Well, it’s very confusing, and so your company outsources it to us.”

“Yes,” I said, “but when I take vacation time, I just tell my supervisor I’m taking time off, and he adds in my vacation time. So why couldn’t I just call my supervisor when my daughter was born and tell him I was gonna be taking some time off. As it is, using a third-party just created a bureaucracy that was beyond the abilities of anyone in our HR department.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “it’s complicated. They get it wrong a lot. But you know, it’s for longer leaves than vacations.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said, “Because I could take a four-week vacation and I don’t need to involve you, but if I take even just one week off for the birth of a child, I have to contact you. What’s the difference?”

“Yeah,” she said, “It’s complicated.” And then I began talking again, but what I said doesn’t matter, because the woman jumped at the opportunity to say hello and dish out paperwork to the lady that walked up to the table.

So much for finding answers.

Complicated indeed.

Friday, 01 October 2010

When I came home from work on Wednesday, there was a note on the door from UPS that said something like “Sorry we missed you.” The deliverer had tried to drop off a package between 10:30 and 1:00, but no one was home. The note said they’d try again tomorrow.

So they did try again on Thursday, at the exact same time. And: surprise! no one was home.  The new note said they’d try again on Friday…again at the exact same time. If we weren’t there to receive the package on Friday, they’d send it back to the sender.

Um…how could UPS not know that if someone’s not home at a particular time one day, they’re not likely to be home at that time on subsequent days, too. People have predictable schedules, after all.

I called the number on the back of the UPS note. I had the displeasure of speaking with a robot. I tried to schedule a drop-off time that differed from the one they were rigidly insisting upon, but that would’ve cost me six bucks. So I hung up on the robot.

Instead, I taped the two notes onto a sheet of paper, and wrote my own note on the paper that said “leave the package at the door.” I signed my name.

This evening, when I got home, the package was waiting for me right by the front door.

There now, UPS, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Saturday, 02 October 2010

Let me just pause for a moment to comment on how many beautiful days we’ve had here. Usually, there’s like five or ten great days in an entire year, but I think there have been that many in just the past five weeks alone. Even the nighttime is wonderful: not freezing, but chilly enough to warrant a heavy blanket. No need for air conditioning, ceiling fans, dehumidifiers, humidifiers, heaters, or sun block. I love it!

Today was another near-beautiful day, which we tried to celebrate by going for a walk. Alas, it was a little too cold for someone who has a tendency to act very childish about those things (ahem, Isla). So, instead of walking to the grocery store, we took the car.

This evening, we watched the Muppet Show. Man, liked that show as a kid, didn’t think it was so cool as an adult, but now, as an old man, I’m thinking the show is awesome. If you have kids <10 years old, it’s perfect for them. Owen thinks it’s funny and, at 22 minutes each, it’s easy to squeeze an episode in before bedtime. The episodes are available at Netflix.

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Well, now I’ve successfully written about something from each day for 75% of the year, so take that! all you scoffers.

Let’s pause for a moment as, instead of thinking about the 75% that’s past, I discuss some things I’m looking forward to in the near future. At least, in the world of entertainment…

This movie isn’t coming out until December 25th, 2011, but I am already excited about it. If this were in the past, I likely would’ve gone and seen it on opening day. Alas, now I celebrate the birthday of baby Jesus (who will be hittin’ the big 2-0-1-1 that year) with great abandon and thus probably won’t be at the theaters on Christmas Day. Regardless, I’m sure Jennifer, Owen, and I will find time soon after.

And I’m a bit mixed on this movie that  isn’t coming out until 2012. I am always up for a Pixar, since I’m guaranteed at least a decent, if not completely awesome, time. First off, I’m a little concerned that it’s derived from fairy tales. That’s not necessarily bad, it just smacks of a little too much Disney involvement. Also, it’s directed by Brenda Chapman, the same woman who directed The Lion King. The Lion King isn’t a bad movie, but it’s not great, either. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s the most overrated animated film in the history of cinema. Worse, she directed The Prince of Egypt – a film that thoroughly destroyed a great story and coupled it with the worst soundtrack of any animated film ever. She’s no Brad Bird, that’s for sure. I’ll just have to wait and see.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Today I had a discussion with a couple of co-workers regarding the upcoming election.

I’ve come to the conclusion that voting for a candidate is not really about picking who you think is best for the job, it’s about first looking at who has a chance of winning the election, and then picking the lesser (or least, possibly) of the two (or more) evils.

This happened to me back in 2008. I did not want Norm Coleman to be reelected as Senator, but I wasn’t crazy about Al Franken, either. Independent candidate Dean Barkley was a distant third. One of my co-workers voted for Barkley, arguing that he was the best person for the job, and that everyone should vote how their conscience tells them to vote.

I can see that rationale, but I responded that the 2008 Senatorial election was so close, I felt it was more important to give my vote to Franken, rather than select the person I thought was better (Barkley), thereby essentially giving a vote to Coleman.

Make sense?

On a larger scale, this happened in 2000, too. Ralph Nader garnered 2.74% of the popular vote. I think it’s a safe assumption that, had they been forced to vote for a candidate that actually had a chance of winning, most Nader supporters would have picked Al Gore over George Bush. In Florida – the very crucial state in the electoral vote that year, over 97,000 people voted for Nader. Had only 10% of them voted for Gore instead, he would have won the Presidency. In short, a vote for Nader (in some states) was a vote for Bush. (Though this website claims otherwise.)

Perhaps it’s not such a big deal if the better candidate has a wide margin. For example, if a poll reveals that 75% of likely voters will pick candidate A, and only 20% prefer candidate B, then maybe you’re fine listening to your conscience and picking the best candidate, candidate C, who happens to have only a 2% share. Regardless of whether you think A or B would be better, your vote isn’t likely to change anything.

I’d be interested to hear what other people prefer: Do you pick the better of two candidates, because that person maight actually win, or do you pick the person you think is the best (wo)man for the job, even though they have no chance?

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Today I left work early so that I could join my family on a visit to the Minnesota Science Museum.  Owen really wanted to see the mummy on display there, and I wanted to see the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Scrolls are only on exhibition until mid-October, so time was winding down. Also, I had a coupon for one free adult admission that expired in a few weeks.

Well, Owen got to see his mummy. The curator answered a few questions we had and, later, we even watched a mini-play reenacting a little bit of ancient Egypt.

But I didn’t see the Dead Sea Scrolls. Shortly before leaving to go to the museum, I looked up online to see if there was anywhere to park near the museum that wouldn’t subsequently mug my wallet. While searching, I realized there was a separate set of pricings for the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. Jennifer had mentioned before that there was a separate fee, but I didn’t realize just how exorbitant.

Let’s break it down:

Admission to museum + Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit for me: $28

Admission to museum + Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit for Jennifer: $28

Admission to museum + Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit for Owen: $22

…That’s $78 just to walk in the door. This, mind you, does not include admission to their omnitheater, nor does it cover parking. 78 bucks! Holy crap! How can I justify spending $22 on my five-year old son who doesn’t even know what these Scrolls are and who will find it very boring. And the Scrolls exhibit includes a 45-minute presentation…which sounds pretty much impossible to sit through when there’s a 9-week old baby with us. (She’s free, by the way.)

But wait, you ask, didn’t you have a coupon? Yes…but it’s not valid for “special” exhibits. And, you ask further, couldn’t you use your student discount? Yes…if it was after 5:00 on a Thursday, which it was not.

Just to compare, here’s what we did pay:

Admission to museum for me: $11

Admission to museum for Jennifer: $0

Admission to museum for Owen: $6.50 (he got in for $2 off due to my I-work-for-an-awesome-company discount)

That’s a total of $17.50. It still hurts, but at least it won’t keep me up at night.

As we left, the Science Museum’s parking ramp attendant mugged my wallet for $9.

Friday, 24 September 2010

I gave up on a book today. But not because I thought it was a bad read. The subject matter was very intriguing, but the tales it told were too long and protracted, and I just felt like moving on to other things.

Way back in May, I put the book Merchants of Doubt on hold at the library. There were only a few copies, and several people were in front of me, so I didn’t get to check it out until earlier this week. It seemed right up my alley: the book discusses how the same handful of scientists have obscured the facts and confused the (Re)public(ans) about important topics like global warming and second-hand smoking. Pretty cool…but as I read the book, I began to feel like it was just telling me too much. In short, it’s 500 pages and I think the story could be told in 250.

So I plan to return the book to the library the next time I go. Some other library parton will be glad to get the book sooner than expected.

But by all means – please get the book and read it. Then just tell me the highlights.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Kind of a weird day today. We did two things that we don’t normally do. First, we drove to Maple Grove and paid a visit to Edelweiss Baby. This is a really cool, really expensive store that was hosting a modeling contest for people under 24 months of age. The winner gets some fancy photo, money off a future photo shoot, a gift certificate to the store (which is about the only way we’d be able to afford anything there), and a savings bond (YES! College fund money!). Since one member of our family is under 24 months old, and is kind of cute, we figured we should go.

Isla performed adequately. She cooperated with the photographer, and she was awake, but not screaming. But she wasn’t wide awake, and whe was kind of holding her head in a funny check-out-my-double-chin short of way. So, we’ll see what happens there…

In the evening, we went to Minnehahahahahah Park in Minneapolis. We’re always looking for fun new places to explore on our walks, and Jennifer and I had driven past this park a few times on our way to the birthing class last summer. So, this evening, over dinner, we decided to drive there.

Getting there was easy, but parking was hard. Did I mention it’s in Minneapolis? So, I wasn’t sure where to park. A few parking lots were totally full, some were for “members only” and others required payment. Did I mention it’s in Minneapolis?

Anyway, we found a decent spot to park (albeit for 75 cents an hour), and we went exploring. I had visited Minnehahahah Falls one other time – when I was 18 years old. On a whim, my parents decided that we were going, as a family, to explore this park. That was absolutely the last time the four people in my immediate family ever chose to do anything social together. So tonight I went again with my new and improved immediate family of four.

We had a good time, and I’d like to go again – earlier in the day so we have more daylight. If someone else would like to drive and drop us off there, that’d be great.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Another weird day.

First, we tried going on a Happy Trails nature walk this afternoon at Carpenter Nature Center in Hastings. It was scheduled to begin at 1:00. We were going to leave our place at 12:30, but Isla’s ill-timed hunger meant we didn’t pull out of the parking lot until 12:42. Jennifer asked if we were going to ba late, but I pointed out that, several times before, we’d be on time for these nature walks, and then just end up waiting in the the visitors center while other people arrive late. “So we’ll be those late people this time,” I said.

Well…there was a detour on one road, and lots of construction. We parked at the nature center at 1:15. It then took a few minutes to get the moby wrap wrapped. We walked into the nature center and discovered the group had already left. We went outside to look for them (along with another woman with her son that had arrived late), but saw no sign of them. So I went back in and asked a staff member. She said she didn’t have anything to do with that group. I said, “Yeah, but do you know where they went?” I pointed out that the email said they’d be taking some stairs down to a ravine. The woman pulled out a map and proceeded to tell us more than we wanted to know about three sets of stairs. The other woman chose her set of stairs and took off. I had to wait for Jennifer to use the bathroom.

When she came out, we ran off towards the stairs, they led to a treaturous ravine. I started off through the ravine with Owen, but it was slow going because he didn’t have good traction, and Jennifer had Isla straped to her. I saw a goup in the distance, and hollared for them to wait for us, but they didn’t (it probably wasn’t our group). So we cut our losses and went back.

I know what you’re thinking: couldn’t we just go for a walk by ourselves, without a group? Well…kind of. BUt it’s a akin to meeting up with some friends at a restaurant, only to have your friends not show up. Sure, you could still eat there, but you’re disappointed, and now you don’t feel like it.

I swear, this sort of thing always happens to us, and this is why we are so anal about puntuality. To illustrate: I try to show up at theaters in plenty of time to find a seat and get settled. Whenever I do, there’s plenty of seating, and I end up sitting through a half hour of advertisements before the movie begins. Every once in a great while, however, unforeseen events transpire to cause us to arrive at, say, 2:10 for a 2:00 showing. We run in the door, buy tickets, and then get intot the theater to discover there’s no good seats left and the movie’s already started. 

“Why is the movie already playing?” I whine to Jeninfer.

“Well, the showtime was 2:00,” she says, trying to be reasonable. 

“Yeah, but there’s always a load of commercials,” I complain.

“They must not have played them this time,” she says.

“Dammit,” I say.

Anyway, after checking out some of the animals at the visitors center, we took off for some thirft stores. We made a stop at Wal-Mart, which marks my first time ever spending money at that shit hole. I didn’t even go in the store: I waited in the car with my kids, while my wife ran in. I’ve been inside a Wal-Mart on three occassions, but always becuase other people dragged me there, and I’ve never spent any money when I’ve been there. But, today, my wife spent ~$8.00.

I knew this day was coming. After all, we received a gift card for the store last week at the baby shower. So, when we approached a Mall-Wart on our drive this afternoon and Jennifer said we needed diapers, it seemed only reasonable to stop and let her go in and spend the gift card on some necessary item.

Ugh.

Anyway, I felt bad for Owen today. He was expecting to go for a fun nature exploring hike, and he ended up sitting in the parking lot of a crappy corporation. While waiting in the car, I asked him why he didn’t want to go for a walk after we gave up looking for our group. “It was different,” he said, and when I asked him to elaborate, he added: “I was afraid we would get lost without them.

Yep. Probably.