Wednesday, 06 April 2011
So, first off: here’s a good article regarding the recent non-news story of the Koran burning: Click here.
Second, I was listening to the radio on the way home from work this evening, and at the conclusion of the song “Satisfaction” (by the Rolling Stones), the DJ said that if there was a Mount Rushmore version of rock music, “Satisfaction” would have to be one of the songs chiseled in stone.
This got me to thinking. How does a person go about deciding on which four rock songs belong on this version of Mt. Rushmore?
I think the best way to proceed, would be to emulate Gutzon Borglum to the extent possible.
Borglum chose to sculpt the first President (Washington), so I think an appropriate corresponding song would be “Rock Around the Clock,” since it was the first rock song to sell a million copies and the first to go to #1.
Borglum also sculpted Jefferson, a President responsible for the expansion of the United States (the area of the US doubled under his presidency). I think Elvis is the appropriate counterpart here, so maybe “Blue Suede Shoes” or “Hounddog” or “All Shook Up” would be a fitting second choice.
Next, Borglum selected a President who strove to hold together two warring factions…and here’s where, perhaps, “Satisfaction” could fit in (British music in America).
Borglum only chose one President from his lifetime, Theodore Roosevelt. Roosevelt, having been so much more recent than the other three, was perhaps chosen more for his contemporary status than his long-lasting status. I think his appearance on the Mountain is the most suspect of the four. I think the obvious counterpart here would be something by Lady Gaga.

Thursday, 07 April 2011
There was a department meeting today.
I’ve been setting up these meetings every month for over four years now, but today was the last one that I set up ad hosted. I decided to go out on a high note by arriving with snacks and beverages for everyone. Thankfully, my manager pitched in with some cash, so I only ended up spending about half of what I had originally estimated.
I gotta say…
Shopping for food for people is hard. I mean, it’s really hard. I walked to the back of the grocery store to pick out some pop, and there were signs everywhere saying that I could get one pack free if I buy two packs…but only if I had a coupon. So then I had to go back to the front of the store to look for said coupon. Then I grabbed a bag of chips, but then noticed they had a buy-one-get-one deal on certain sized bags, so I had to determine what size bag I had in my hand, and if it was better to just buy that bag, or to buy the smaller one and get another one free.
Then there’s the whole fruit tray dilemma. How old is that fruit? Does it all taste the same since it’s been packaged together for who-knows-how-long? (Answer: yes, it does.)
On the upside, there was a booth set up with some guy passing out tastes of the new Snapple. He had little cups set up, half with diet and half with regular. I asked him which one was which, and he couldn’t recall, so he had to pour me a fresh cup of regular. He also gave me a rebate certificate to get reimbursed for my 6-pack purchase. So I dutifully bought the six-pack.
Now I eagerly await my reimbursement check from Snapple!

Friday, 08 April 2011
Today I transferred (at least on paper) to my new department. I still have some things to wrap up in my old department, but it should only take a few more days. I received a tour of my new lab, and my new manager even took a picture of me. I apologized for not being better looking, but he said that was okay; he only needed the photo for an organizational chart.
I set up a lunch date with everyone in my (former) department. I reserved a table for 15 at Olive Garden for 11:30 this morning. I also invited a few people who used to work in our department, but had since transferred out. I even invited one lady who quit the company about three years ago, but still keeps in touch with some of us. All told, there were 17 people there. I didn’t expect this, but my supervisor paid for my meal. I thanked him and said, “I should be paying for you – I’m the one who still has a job come net week.”
“Ah,” he replied, “but I’ll be the one with a nine-month vacation.”
Touché, supervisor. Touché.

Monday, 04 April 2011
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate making big decisions and big changes? Does anyone really like doing that sort of thing? I’m not sure. Actually, I probably hate making big changes more than I hate big decisions – so my decision usually defaults to maintaining the status quo. Better the devil I know, right?
So now we are at that point in our lives where it’s time to once again make some decisions. This happened back in 2004: we suddenly needed to make a whole mess of decisions. These included big things, like: Are we going to have kids? Am I going to start a new job? Should we move to a new house and city? And it included smaller things, too, like: Should we go on that cruise my Dad wants us to go on?
Anyway, I seem to have muddled through that year well enough.
And now there’s a bunch of stuff on the horizon again: I’m starting a new job…that, at least, was somewhat forced on me due to impending lay-offs. But now I’m fretting if I’ll like my job and if I will perform well enough at it. We also keep having discussion about our next place of residence, which of course has repercussions on Owen’s schooling…which is actually a more difficult decision than where to move.
Anyway, I just had to get all that off my chest.

Tuesday, 05 April 2011

Today, my copy of The Flood arrived in the mail. I’m not what you’d call a “prolific album purchaser.” In fact, I can’t even recall the last album I purchased. Nevertheless, Mason Jennings is one of a very select group of musicians in which I am willing to shell out and buy a copy of their work – sight unseen (or would that be hear unheard?) – as it is released.

When the package arrived today, my wife rolled her eyes imagining that I was buying yet another book about Noah’s Flood. She wondered why I need so much information about a historical non-event. Ha! The joke was on her: this album (as far as I can determine) has nothing to do with Noah and his god’s monomaniacal genocide.

I played the album this evening, though I admit that I was distracted for large parts of it, and Owen even shut it off before it was finished (Isla had fallen asleep and, in a rare move for him, decided it would be prudent to quiet things down a bit). Jennifer noted that Mason seems to just keep writing the same songs, but with different lyrics. Even some of the lyrics appeared to be rehashes of other songs. I said that I probably have enough familiarity with Mason’s music and lyrics to spontaneously parody his style.
This got me thinking – perhaps I should create a Mason Jennings parody music video. Of course, it would be all original lyrics and music – kind of like Weird Al.
I probably won’t ever do that, but it was fun to joke about.

Friday, 01 April 2011
So here we are one-quarter of the way through the year.
I am happy to announce that I have a new job. Same company, same location (well, same building, different department). I’m not sure on my start date yet, but it will be sometime around Monday the 11th.
This is great news and great timing because, as I’ve alluded to at this blog, lay-offs are coming in a major way to the department I currently work in. Specifically, about one-third of my department will be axed on the 12th, and the rumor is that the department itself is to be phased out of existence throughout the summer.
It’s strange to think that I am the only one of my co-workers who is guaranteed employment past the middle of the month…but that’s how it’s looking at the moment. It’s really weird to see all my co-workers fixing up their resumes, looking on line for jobs, and showing up at work dressed all classy because they’re going on interviews. I suppose I’ve had co-workers that have done this all the time (i.e., everyone who’s ever quit), but this is the first time so many people are being so open about it. Very odd.

Saturday, 02 April 2011
Today we went for our first walk outside the house this year. That’s not to say we haven’t done any exercising; both Jennifer and I have paid visits to the workout room. But today we ventured out into the great outdoors. I had Isla in our ergo and Owen collected sticks as we went. We walked first to the local co-op but then, deciding we hadn’t done enough walking, we walked around the neighborhood a little more. We then went into the co-op, picked up some stuff for dinner, then walked back home.
While Isla continued to sleep in the ergo, we looked up a nearby geocache and headed back out to find it. No luck. This marks the second time I’ve gone looking for a cache and turned up empty handed. In our defense, there were lots of muddy leaves, trash, and ice in the area where we were looking. We’ll check back again for this geocache soon (it’s less than a thousand feet from our front door).
Also, my wife made this page on our website of Isla’s month-to-month growth. Check it out: CLICK HERE.

Sunday, 03 April 2011
Today is my wife’s birthday, which we celebrated by dining at Buca. This was our third consecutive occasion feasting at Buca for my wife’s birthday, but I think this might have been the most disappointing one.
For one thing, the apple Gorgonzola salad – normally one of our most favorite dishes – tasted as if the lettuce was a couple days past expiration date. For another thing, my wife picked out the fettuccine pasta, and it was quite bland. I doused my serving with liberal amounts of pepper, and I kept spicing things up by filling up on the bread instead.
The dessert was delicious, however, as we were eating it, the waitress asked us if we had any coupons. Here’s something she – and every waitstaff member should know – Don’t ask people if they have a coupon! If they do have a coupon, they’ll remember to use it, and if they don’t have a coupon (we didn’t), then they’ll feel like they’ve been cheated out of something (I did). The waitress said it was too bad we didn’t have a coupon, ’cause then we could’ve gotten our dessert for free. Thanks, lady. Thanks a ton.
Anyway, I guess we’ll try again next year.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

A few days ago, my wife and I finished editing and uploading some recent home videos of Isla and I keep forgetting to post them here. So, here they are:

This one was filmed earlier this month. Something just tickled Isla about her brother’s yelling. She thought it was hilarious and even waved her hand in imitation of him (presumably to get him to keep doing it). We finally pulled out the camera and caught some of her laughing:

Here’s another video of her laughing. Jennifer recorded this with her iPhone, so the image quality isn’t as good, but it’s good enough:

And here she is clapping. This video was recorded over a month ago – she’s much more vigorous about it now:

Thursday, 31 March 2011

Today I attended a “How to be a straight ally” meeting and luncheon put on by PFLAG (a really terrible acronym that stands for “Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians And Gays”). I figured that I should attend since I am such a strong supporter of free lunches.

The main point of the meeting was that, even if you’re straight, you can still be an ally of the gay-rights movement. She noted that people often don’t like to defend GLBTs because then their co-workers might think that they are GLB or T, too. It’s like this: Let’s say that I say to my co-workers, “Hey, I don’t like that joke, it’s demeaning to women.” Well, no one’s going to think that I’m a woman. And if I say, “Woe, that joke’s kind of racist,” no one is going to think that I am black (or whatever race is being ridiculed at the moment). But if I say, “Um, I don’t really like jokes against gays,” then people might start thinking…”hey, is he gay?”

The speaker noted that in some states it is still legal to fire people for being gay or lesbian. In some states, it’s even legal to fire employees simply for expressing their sexuality in a non-traditional manner (e.g., A woman who wears men’s shirts, or a guy who uses a ‘man bag‘).

She continued by offering some ways in which straight people can be an ally and gave everyone resources for continuing support. I got a rainbow-colored magnet to put up in my cube that says “I support Equality at [name of employer].”

After the PLFAG representative completed her talk, the employee who had set up the event got up and gave some closing remarks. After telling us to take the papers on the table and to visit the website, she announced – whilst getting choked up – that she was bisexual. Wow. I’ve never actually been there before when someone ‘came out.’

Monday, 28 March 2011

So, last night’s episode of The Amazing Race turned out to be one big commercial for Snapple (just click on that Amazing Race link and you’ll see what I mean). This happens every once in a while – Suvivor does it, too – there will be an episode that features a name brand; sometimes the players are playing to win a box of tools from Home Depot, or maybe they have to assemble a piece of furniture from IKEA. It doesn’t usually bother me.

In last night’s Snapple-fest, teams first had to stop at a tea store and sample some tea (nothing Snapple about that). Then, after arriving in India, they had to taste from 1,000 cups of tea and pick out the one that matched the flavor they had tasted prior to their flight. The clue they received after finishing that task was an unlabeled bottle of Snapple (the clue was printed on the underside of the cap). Anyway, when the first team checked in, Phil (the host) asked the team if they’d noticed the tea-influenced tasks of the leg. He also announced that Snapple was coming out with two new flavors and – as the winners of that leg of the race – they’d be the first to sample these new flavors. He presented two bottles to the team (holy shitty reward, Batman!). Actually, there was more to the reward than that (i.e., $20,000), but it’s funny how prominent Snapple was featured, especially considering that there were about four Snapple commercials during the show.

And that brings me to today: the three of us (I’m excluding Isla because she’s still crawling around the house and babbling like a drunkard) thought the new flavors sounded pretty enticing. I had an item to return to Target, so I stopped there on my way home, returned my item, received store credit, then ventured over to the grocery section. Lots of Snapple…no new flavors. Epic loss for Snapple – instead of extolling the wonders of the flavors, I am bemoaning the fact that, for probably the first time ever, product placement consciously caused me to attempt to buy said product, only to be unable to find it for sale.

Next:
Check out this graphic of Japan’s aftershocks. You just kind of have to watch it, you can’t manipulate as much as you’d like (or maybe I should say I can’t manipulate it as much as I’d like).

And if that’s too depressing, check this out (I laughed ’til I cried):

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

I arrived at Hamline University this morning for the first time in 12 days. I parked, as usual, four blocks away from class. When I was about a block away, I crossed over Hewitt Avenue, then began walking west towards my classroom. I noticed that, for some reason I couldn’t quite determine, a fifty foot stretch of Hewitt was thick with ice. There was no obvious runoff from the buildings, and the land around is pretty flat, so I couldn’t attribute the ice to snow coming down any hill. I thought to myself, “Wow, drivers are gonna have some trouble here.”

Moments later, a line of five cars came passing by (heading east). The first one slid a little bit, but no problem. The second car, seeing the ice, slowed down ever so slightly. The next two cars proceeded in a similar fashion. I think the patch of ice was a real shock because no where else was there any ice (indeed, I never came across any at all on my to school or work today). If it was a snowy or icy day, the drivers probably would’ve been preparing for such icy patches, but this was completely unexpected.

The fifth driver hit the patch and began fish-tailing a little bit. Since there were no other cars around, he should’ve just kept driving and, though he may have slid into the other lane, he wouldn’t have faced any issues. But he didn’t “just keep driving.” Instead, he decided to slam on his brakes. This caused his car’s back end to slide uncontrollably to the left and then, sliding forward, he crashed into a snowbank and surely would’ve landed onto the very sidewalk I was traversing had he not been stopped by a tree. He hit the tree dead-center, so that it buckled in the front of his car pretty bad. The tree made a snapping sound, though it appeared to weather the punch. Once the momentum ceased, gravity took over and the car, now 6 inches shorter than it had been, slid back down onto the road. A sixth car, approaching slowly, drove into the opposing lane to get around the wreckage.

I walked about another fifty feet before turning and going inside a building (from where I could no longer see the car). When I left (about 90 minutes later), the car was gone. A big chunk of tree bark was gone from the tree, and there were enough pieces of the car on the snowbank to build a scale-model replica of the original car.

As I passed by the tree, another car slid on the ice patch (no incidents). About five minutes later, I made the treacherous trek verrrry sloooowly.

Somebody should do something about that.