Monday, 23 May 2011

The big local political news today is that, in the wee hours during the past weekend, the Minnesota House of Representatives passed a bill that will put same-sex marriage restrictions on the state constitution.

Here’s an article about that.

From a law-changing standpoint, this is a completely useless amendment to propose to voters. Minnesota state law already defines marriage between same-sex couples as illegal, so whether voters decide to add this to the constitution or not, same-sex marriage will still be illegal.

But there’s another standpoint to consider: the political one. The religious conservatives who came out for the 2010 election and gave Republicans control of both the Minnesota House and Senate for the first time in decades are going to be needed again to maintain that advantage. Adding an emotionally charged amendment to the ballot is sure likely to get more people to the polls than, say, if Mary or Greg should be State Auditor.

Additionally, conservative congresspeople were voted in on a platform of balancing the state’s budget and bringing Minnesota closer to a theocracy. So, in that way, these Senators and Representatives are only doing what they promised they’d do. Maybe this will help their constituents to remember them fondly in 2012 when their names again come up for a vote.

Though I am not a fan of either of the two controlling political parties in our state, it’s pretty easy to see which is the greater of two evil regarding human rights when we look at the voting roll call for this proposal:

What’s really strange is that two Democrats voted in favor of putting the amendment on the ballot. While I whole-heartily endorse political drones breaking ranks whenever they feel the need to (I hate the slavish adherence to party policy), it’s tough to see what these Democrats hope to gain.

Presumably, since they’re both religious, they must feel that their imaginary friend wants them to make sure same-sex marriage becomes, um, illegal-er. Presuming to know what a supernatural deity desires is, of course, megalomania. But I suppose if they lacked any predilection towards megalomania, they wouldn’t have sought political office in the first place.

I say they “presumably” voted on the bill for religious reasons, because I would certainly think this squashes any chance of reelection they may have been entertaining.

Denise Dittrich, from Champlin, barely squeaked by in her latest election. Despite being the incumbent, and winning with a 19% margin back in 2008, she won with only a 1.9% margin in 2010. When Champlin residents go to the polls in 2012, I would imagine that most Democrats would no longer support her. Meanwhile, conservatives – who may have approved of her vote regarding this amendment – will likely just stick with the Republican nominee for that district.

Lyle Koenen was the other Democrat to vote in favor of the amendment.

Anyway, with a governmental shut down looming, it’s good the Representatives were able to find time late at night on the weekend to put civil rights up for legislation. Thank you, elected officials, for not shattering any of the stereotypes I have about you.

If you live in Minnesota and plan to vote “Yes” on this proposal come Election Day 2012, I would enjoy your logical arguments on why this is a fair amendment and how it will help the citizens of our once great state.

Friday, 20 May 2011

I had a meeting to attend at my employer’s Arden Hills location at 9:00 this morning. Since I didn’t want to drive to my usual location, then have to retrace my steps back to Arden Hill and back, I just showed up for work at Arden Hills. This, of course, meant I started work about two hours later than I usually do, so I had to stay late, too. Ugh. I hate staying at work late.

In other news: Owen’s bike is finally in working order. He and I had to stop at Target yesterday evening to swap out a defective horn for an operative one. I also had to readjust his training wheels since I had originally positioned them too high. Training wheels are a delicate balance in more ways than one: if their situated too high, the inexperienced rider will lean too heavily. If they’re situated too low, the rider risks getting the back tire stuck in potholes or cracks – it just hovers there, suspended by the two training wheels – and there’s no way to move forward.

Owen rode to a nearby grocery store and back. He did very well. He had to stop three times to get off his bike, open up the pouch, take out his water and drink it. He claimed he was very thirsty, I think he just wanted to stop and play with the new pouch and water bottle. He also had a habit of stopping right before he ascends onto a sidewalk. This prevents him from garnering the inertia needed to drive up the slope. I gave him a little push on his back a couple of times to get him going, but he appears adverse to such assistance.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

This evening, I attended the Blasphemer’s Ball, a concert held at Hell’s Kitchen in Minneapolis and featuring four local bands. In celebration of what must be the 23,401,996th failed predication in the annals of Christianity, Harold Camping’s prediction of the rapture failed to materialize, so a bunch of blasphemers got together and decided to celebrate. The bartenders even created a new drink for the occasion, calling it “Rapture’s Delight.”

Really, though, the concert wasn’t about the rapture, initially. The organizer had considered a few dates in May to hold a benefit concert of non-believing local rockers, and I wrote to him suggesting this date as it coincided with the rapture prediction. Back then (February), Camping’s prediction wasn’t a big deal. Apart from one billboard new my home, it wasn’t getting any attention. But, if you Google around a little bit, you’ll see it became a bigger deal as it got closer. The Blasphemer’s Ball was even promoted in the local papers and WCCO TV as a fun event for people who know the rapture isn’t coming (i.e., anyone who’s not an idiot).

Concerts aren’t really my thing, neither is Minnecrapolis, but I managed to hitch a ride with a friend, so he and I dropped in and stayed for about an hour and a half. The place was packed. The venue was good, though. I hope this becomes a repeat performance, as I’d like to attend again.

In other news: my Uncle’s funeral was today. I decided not to attend as, from what I could deduce, neither of the two purposes of a funeral would be served by my attendance. Here’s his online obituary. If you knew him, feel free to leave a comment.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

This morning I was interviewed on the Atheists Talk radio show. In case you missed it (and didn’t mean to miss it), here’s the Quicktime file: CLICK HERE.

It was a difficult format for me. The headphones were awkward, and the announcer kept holding up fingers to indicate how many minutes we had remaining until the next commercial break. This made me constantly nervous because I didn’t know if I could proceed with my comment or if I should stop and left the interviewer (named Mike) wrap things up.

I think it’s nearly impossible in 45 minutes to give a good account of the basic beliefs of a religion, why I left that religion, and what the ramifications for doing so are. Maybe that kept it moving along well, I don’t know. In the future, I’d rather just discuss one aspect, such as just talking about what Witnesses believe and why, or detailing their love of shunning.

Either way, it was an enjoyable experience. I hadn’t heard my name on the radio since my KQRS myTunes playlist last October.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

My Uncle Jeff passed away today. He was 56 years old.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary memorial service  funeral
Uncle Jeff was a driven, passionate man who devoted much time and energy to things he cared about – especially his family and his faith. As the owner of a small business, he was a great provider for his family and had an awesome sense of humor – I still laugh when I recall witty words he said decades ago. He had a terrific fondness for an eclectic mix of music; he had the best cassette and CD collection of any adult I knew. For many years, he and I would greet each other before the meetings with a four-step handshake that only seemed to dissipate once I outgrew it.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary memorial service  funeral
Uncle Jeff and Aunt Debbie lived nearby when I was a young child – I recall going over to their home a few times and my mom warned my sister and me to be on our best behavior – “they don’t have kids,” she’d remind us, “so their house isn’t childproof and they don’t want you messing with their things.” We were told to be cautious around their toy poodle, too. After all, the dog (named Taffy) wasn’t used to the nervous energy of children, either.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
But perhaps that cautiousness was a bit undue. My Uncle and Aunt wanted children and, thus, were certainly not adverse to my sister and me. When I was very young, they took me and my Aunt’s brother (who was closer to my age than hers) to Valleyfair for the day. We were tall enough only for the kiddie rides and, after one trip around the roller-coaster, when the conductor asked if anyone wanted to get off, I shot my hand bolt upright, causing my Uncle and Aunt to laugh at my hurried insistence to be removed from the ride. One another occasion, my Aunt babysat us for the evening. She thoughtfully rented the movie The Goonies (excellent choice!) and passed out Skittles and a big gummy rat for us to snack on. Their dog snuggled next to us on the couch. And, after complaining all morning while out in the door-to-door work that my feet were cold, my Uncle took me to a store and bought me new boots. They were my favorite boots ever, and I wore them for many years.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Later, they adopted a baby girl and my wife often served as her babysitter. Uncle Jeff was always excited to come home to his daughter – his child he had waited so long for – and he played with her and spent time with her as a father should. He asked Jennifer how his daughter had been during the day, and he loved to tell Jennifer about his daughter’s latest antics and interests.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
At a shower held for my new cousin, someone asked how their dog, Wheatie (yes, they named their toy poodles after food – not to be confused with my grandparents, who named their poodles after drinks) would take to the new baby. Uncle Jeff responded, “Wheatie who?” and then, after the laughter died down, added that he had spoken to his dog and explained, “It’s okay, Wheatie, lots of dogs sleep outside.”
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Another time, I was talking with Uncle Jeff and our friend Brian following a Watchtower Convention one afternoon. Brian and I attended Apple Valley congregation, while my Uncle attended Eagan. As such, he hadn’t seen or talked to us in a few months and we were checking in on each other. A (very conservative) elder from Apple Valley congregation approached us to say hello and my Uncle, pretending not to see this elder, looked at Brian and said, “So Brian, how’s Apple Valley Congregation doing? Are you still having trouble with the elders there?”
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Nevertheless, I feel it would be disingenuous of me to not point out that Uncle Jeff and I had our differences. Throughout the 1990s and 2000s, we engaged in several heated debates and discussions, often recruiting other family members as hapless supporters, and I purposely minimized my contact with him at several points during those years so as to avoid conflict. Now that I look back on it, it’s really too bad – he and I, after all, were both desirous of the same thing: he wanted his family to be the best Christians they could be, and I wanted my family to be the best Christians they could be. It’s just that, while he took the most conservative stance on matters (i.e., If there was any chance this could offend anyone, it’s best to not do it), I took a more liberal approach (i.e., If there is no scriptural ruling on a matter, then it’s best to live and let live). However, I don’t mean to dwell on these irreconcilable disputes – as I have claimed before, matters of religion often graft over a true personality and create a skewed persona. Uncle Jeff, like most of the family, shunned me for the past five years. This, like what I said above, is not something I hold against him, and had he ever wished to restart a relationship with me, I would have been all for it.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
My heart goes out to the family – particularly his devoted wife (my aunt) of 30+ years and his beautiful young daughter (my cousin). Despite the sadness that comes with such an early, untimely death, it is good to know that the tremendous suffering he has endured these past few months has at last come to an end.
Jeff Jeffrey Zimmerman obituary funeral
Here is my Uncle Jeff in happier times – he is pictured standing in the center. His parents (my grandparents) are seated, and Uncle Jeff is flanked by his four siblings. My father is second from the right. Don’t let that date fool you – this picture is from December 2009, about 15 months ago. Jeff Zimmerman memorial service memorial service eagan

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Well, I’m gonna be on the radio on Sunday. CLICK HERE for more information. I’ll be interviewed on AM 950 KTFN at 9:00 in the morning so you might need to stay home from church if you wish to catch my interview. It probably goes without saying that I’m gonna be interviewed regarding the Jehovah’s Witnesses (since that is, embarrassingly, absolutely the only topic on which I am an expert): what do they believe, why did I leave, why do they shun former members, why do they hate beards…stuff like that.
Tune in and listen, if you’re not already sick of me from reading this blog. I think they set aside a time for people to call in, so if you want to ask any pressing questions you may have, now’s your time. If you can’t think of any questions, here are some suggestions:

-How long is a “generation” these days?
-Which scripture discusses the prohibition on rated R movies?
-Why don’t Witnesses celebrate birthdays? (You can ask it but, sorry, there’s no good answer.)
-Do women in the religion have separate drinking fountains to go along with their separate spots on stage?
-How many Smurfs does it take to clear a Kingdom Hall?
-If Witnesses are going to live forever on Earth after Armageddon, what sort of superpowers will they need?
-How come Witnesses hide their copies of Thriller?
-If New York legalizes same-sex marriage, will all the Bethelites finally be able to become “one flesh”?
-Is it true that a Circuit Overseer’s butt won’t kiss itself?

In other news…
Newt Gingrich, certainly one of the most disgusting men to hold the position of Speaker of the House in recent decades, was in Minneapolis this week. Here’s a video commemorating that event:

Also, dress codes are stupid. Good for this kid.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Tonight, before bed, Owen and I read the last chapter of Stuart Little, a book I have owned for over 20 years. Owen had recently seen the movie “version” of Stuart Little, and I wanted to balance that with the original – and far superior – rendition of the little person.
I must admit, I had almost entirely forgotten the details of this great story. I had remembered that Stuart was actually born into the family – not adopted as retold in the sanitized movie version. The book also makes a point of noting that Stuart ages quicker than his human relatives – he could walk as soon as he was born and within weeks of his birth, he was shimming up curtains.
I had also forgotten about Stuart’s friend Margalo, an injured bird with whom Stuart strikes up a loving friendship. Stuart, it seems, can speak the language of Margalo, and of the family’s cat Snowbell. (As an aside: I always find it odd and inconsistent how sentient animals are depicted in fiction. It appears they can understand humans, but humans can’t understand them. I don’t get it. Anyway…) Stuart and Margalo spend much time together. Later, correctly believing she is in danger, Margalo flees the Littles’ house. When she doesn’t come back for some time, Stuart goes in search of her. And here was a point that baffled Owen: why would a young mouse just up and leave his family like that? Though I told Owen that Stuart was ‘full’ grown, even though he was only about 4 years old, it still did seem odd that Stuart left without saying goodbye or leaving a note. It seems, if he did wish to find Margalo, he would’ve had better success had he recruited his parents and his older brother.
Stuart’s search takes him to the town of Ames’ Crossing – surely the best chapter in the book. Here’s how it begins:

In the loveliest town of all, where the houses were white and high and the elm trees were green and higher than the houses, where the front yards were wide and pleasant and the back yards were bushy and worth finding out about, where the streets sloped down to the stream and the stream flowed quietly under the bridge, where the lawns ended in orchards and the orchards ended in fields and the fields ended in pastures and the pastures climbed the hill and disappeared over the top toward the wonderful wide sky, in this loveliest of all towns Stuart stopped to get a drink of sarsaparilla.

Wow! Oh my god! This enormous sentence – rivaling in length something Thomas Jefferson would write (in fact, it’s quite a bit longer than the opening sentence of the Declaration), is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful I have ever read. After reading it to Owen, I had to stop and back up and read it a second time. I think it sums up the feeling of the whole book quite nicely. Later, when asked where he can be found, Stuart responds: “The highways and the byways are where you’ll find me, always looking for Margalo. Sometimes I feel that I’m quite near to her and that she’s just around the turn of the road. Other times I feel that I’ll never find her and never hear her voice again. Which reminds me, it’s time I was on my way.” Again: beautiful!

I was concerned that Owen would be upset at the open-ended conclusion of the book, and when I read the final words tonight, I looked over at him and saw that it took him a second to realize the book was over. He asked me what I thought happened to Stuart, but I turned the question around and asked him first. It seems Owen had already decided how the tale would end.
Happy.

Sunday, 15 May 2011

So today is that “in between” day – you know, that time after a big event occurs, but before it’s time to get back to the usual grind.

We had to dig out from Owen’s party: there were clothes and a table cloth to wash, and decorations to put away. We feasted on more Subways and birthday cake, chips, trail mix, and fruit. I had to put batteries in one of Owen’s new toys, and I helped him assemble his new Lego Star Wars sets (though he did almost all of it himself – I was quite impressed, actually). I wanted to get him set up with his bike but the weather was still lousy.

He and I also tried to assemble the bubble-blowing robot he received as a gift, but I must’ve done something wrong somewhere along the way, ’cause at the moment it’s not working.

Later, he worked on the connect-the-dots pages he got as a lovely parting gift from his classmate’s party. He was also given a set of chopsticks, so when Jennifer made him some vegetables as a snack while we watched the season finale of Survivor, Owen ate them with his chopsticks.

Monday, 16 May 2011

I began the day with a final exam. I expect I performed well on the exam, though I was a bit frustrated to not get a perfect score on the matching section. The professor had previously stated that he would not try to trick us, but he included two excerpts from poems that both discussed women’s slighted role in society. I couldn’t figure out which excerpt belonged to which poem, so I guessed the same poem for both, knowing that this would at least give me one correct. Also, there was a rather cryptic passage from an essay, and damned if I could tell which Native American was speaking in that instance. Sorry, but I mix up Red Jacket, Seattle, Apess, Occom, and Handsome Lake as much as the next white guy. So…I don’t know…I got at least 16 out of 20 on the matching game, and as high as 19 out of 20.

I felt better about the essays (I had to write four of them). But you never know how the professor’s feel about essays, it’s not quite as empirical as a multiple choice test. I was the fifth person in the class to finish, which means that ultimately my exam should appear pretty far down in the pile. My hope, then, is that the professor will have to plow through some pretty lousy exams so that once he comes to mine, he’ll think, “Now this is a good essay!”

This evening, after work, Owen finally got to try out his bicycle. He had his usual trepidation – the kind of trepidation he expresses for all major changes in life, such as when the weather warms and he is forced to go from long sleeves to short sleeves.

After a few minutes, however, he claimed to be enjoying the bicycle and was getting used to the feel of it. When he was done, I had him ride the bike right into the apartment complex and into the elevator (he didn’t seem to have a problem with this). We brought the bike into our home and I adjusted the seat and the training wheels for him and then spent about twenty minutes wrestling with the horn, which I’m sure I will grow sick of hearing after about one or two honks.