Come to Church With Me

Thursday, 11 October 2012

I will be one of a few people speaking this Sunday (14 October) at the Minnesota Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Bloomington. Like my reading at the Minnesota Atheists’ Monthly Meeting a few weeks ago, this event will highlight the new book that I helped edit, Atheist Voices of Minnesota. That meeting featured sixteen authors reading an excerpt (or more) from their essays. This upcoming event will feature only three or four people reading from their essays and a time for audience questions. I think, therefore, that this will actually be a more interesting event.

Let me try to answer other questions you may have about this event…

Q: Hold on – so  a church is really gonna feature a book with “atheist” in the title during their Sunday services?

A: Yes. These guys are Unitarian Universalists, which is a tongue-twisting way of saying, “Church for people who don’t like the make-believe parts of other churches.”

Q: Really? So the congregation is just made up of secularists? Why are they even members of a church, then?

A: Well…I guess some of the members believe in gods, the supernatural, and (presumably) unicorns. In fact, the woman coordinating the event said a small percentage of members identify as Liberal Christians and a slightly larger number consider themselves somewhere in the theist camp (think new-agers). As for the other members, I assume they like church for the socializing and music. I can relate to that. That’s what I liked about my former church, too. Well, not the music.

Q: Okay, but this still seems like an unusual topic for a church to cover.

A: That’s not a question, but I think I get what you’re saying. All I can say is, they’re a unique bunch. I’ve never been to this Bloomington location, but I have attended four or five UU services at three different churches, and they pretty much go for anything: one time they just held a concert the whole hour. Another time they talked about the awesomeness of evolution. Another time they talked about living green. Another time they interviewed a missionary, so I took Owen and walked around the grounds for the hour.

Q: But I’m religious, so will I be offended if I show up?

A: As a religious person, getting offended is probably something that happens to you every day (see Ecclesiastes 7:9). But…no…these guys are pretty respectful of most beliefs. On the other hand, if just being in my company is offensive to you…well, then, you’re not in a religion. You’re in a cult.

Q: Can I bring my kids?

A: Yes, of course. We’re bringing both of ours. There’s a toddler daycare service there (it’s free) and then there’s another place for young kids. Kids are welcome to sit in and listen to the service, too, but if they make any noise – any noise at all – everyone will look at you with that why-don’t-you-put-your-brat-in-childcare look.

Q: What time does it start?

A: It starts at 10:30. I’ve been told the Atheist Voices portion will be about 35 minutes long, but the whole service will last for just over an hour, because they sing songs (think “Morning has Broken“), have annoucements, and say some life-affirming or empowering words.

Q: Where is it, exactly?

A: It’s at 10715 Zenith Avenue South, in Bloomington, or N44.8102 by W93.3215, if that’s more your style. I’ve never been there before, but it looks likes it’s just north of the Minnesota River, just west of 35W and about 1,205 miles from the Alamo.

Q: I don’t know…I don’t think I can go because I’ll miss the football game.

A: Again, that’s not a question, but the Whiteskins don’t play the Native Americans until 3:30, so you’ll have plenty of time to come to church and get back home in time to worship your TV.

Q: Okay. But do I have to go?

A: No. We’re only talking about the eternal salvation of your soul, here.