{"id":686,"date":"2010-07-03T23:42:58","date_gmt":"2010-07-04T04:42:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/?p=686"},"modified":"2010-07-04T18:40:17","modified_gmt":"2010-07-04T23:40:17","slug":"if-i-am-elected-king","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2010\/07\/if-i-am-elected-king\/","title":{"rendered":"If I am Elected King…"},"content":{"rendered":"

02 July 2010<\/strong><\/p>\n

So here we are at the exact center of the year; 182 days of the year have elapsed, and 182 days remain.<\/p>\n

I was trying all day to think of something to write for today, and I just couldn’t come up with anything that riveting. I was going to gripe about my phone, and the terrible, terrible company known as AT&T and how I am saving my Verizon phone for this time, next year, when I am no longer indentured to AT&T and can switch back to a non-shitty company, but then I figured – does anyone really want to read about that?<\/p>\n

Another problem is that there often seems to be events that I can’t discuss. Like when Jennifer and I first went in for the ultrasound – obviously that was the big event of that day, but I couldn’t write about it, ’cause we hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. Also, sometimes a situation doesn’t have a proper resolution in a single day, and I don’t feel as though I can adequately write about it when I would just leave you hanging. So, you know, sometimes I get stuck.<\/p>\n

Anyways, one of my co-workers sent me this link the other day: THIS ONE RIGHT HERE<\/a>. I thought it was pretty cool. I kept meaning to post it here, and I kept forgetting. So I’m doing it now. And he sent me this, too<\/a>, which doesn’t exactly make me want to run out and get a pet AT-AT, but it does make me wish my cat’s litter was different.<\/p>\n

03 July 2010<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today, during a family picnic, we discussed what sort of laws we would enact if we had the power. Most of the laws I would enact would simply be repealing or altering existing laws. Here’s what I got:<\/p>\n

-Marijuana shall be legal. After all, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine are. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss? Tax it.<\/p>\n

-Prostitution shall be legal. People’s bodies are their most valuable asset; they should be able to pursue employment by using it. What’s really weird is that I can buy a video of two people having sex; and that’s<\/em> legal, but actually having sex isn’t. This is an archaic, puritanical restriction that has to go. Oh – and tax it.<\/p>\n

-You can marry someone of the same gender, if you so desire. However, fundamentalist Christians may only form civil unions.<\/p>\n

-Congresspeople and Senators can only be elected to their offices twice.<\/p>\n

-The voting age will be lowered. I’m not sure to what age. I suggested 12, but my wife says this is too low. Still, I don’t see why the 16 and 17 year olds out there are disenfranchised. The disenfranchised are often neglected in legislation.<\/p>\n

-Companies shall be required to offer equal amounts of time off for both partners in a relationship where a new child is born\/adopted. Obviously, if it takes the birth parent 6 weeks (or 12 or whatever the company offers) to heal physically and emotionally from the birth, then she’ll need her partner there for that same amount of time.<\/p>\n

-Marijuana shall be legal. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss? Tax it.<\/p>\n

-No draft shall go into effect until all the adult children of the sitting President and Congresspeople (who voted in favor of the war) have been drafted to the front lines.<\/p>\n

-The war on drugs is over; the druggies won. Prison is for people we’re scared of or mad at. A meth user is just sad. Get them some help…but I don’t see why they’re criminals.<\/p>\n

-Circumcision shall be illegal on non-consenting patients.<\/p>\n

-The war-happy, impossible-to-sing “Star Spangled Banner” shall be replaced as the national anthem by “This Land is Your Land.”<\/p>\n

-Marijuana shall be legal. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

02 July 2010 So here we are at the exact center of the year; 182 days of the year have elapsed, and 182 days remain. I was trying all day to think of something to write for today, and I just couldn’t come up with anything that riveting. I was going to gripe about my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=686"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":690,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686\/revisions\/690"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}