Almost always, if I read past, say, page 10, I finish a book. After reading the reviews of the book, the back cover (yes, I do judge books by their covers), and scanning the Table of Contents, I plunge into books full well expecting to finish them. Even if the book is sub-expectations, I like to finish it (just as I endeavor to finish all movies I start) if for no other reason than to put it on my list of books I\u2019ve read and to have the freedom to dismantle its lousy content.<\/p>\n
It is with great regret, therefore, that I must report that I did not \u2013 and will not \u2013 finish reading \u201cStar Wars on Trial\u201d. I mean, it sounded promising: an entire book featuring a mock courtroom drama in which prosecution and defense deconstruct the merits, morals and meaning of some of the greatest (New Hope, Empire Strikes Back) and worst (Phantom Menace) films of all time.<\/p>\n
Why not finish?<\/p>\n
For starters, there were two introductions. I always read the introductions, for reasons stated above (see par. 1), but let\u2019s be honest: no one wants to read the introduction. It\u2019s like the instruction manual for a video game: just a necessary how-to that everyone wants to skip. So having two was, well, a terrible kick-off. As were the opening statements (essentially a phase-two of an introduction) that lasted until page EIGHTY-ONE!<\/p>\n
I also assumed, judging from the fact that a mock courtroom is displayed on the book\u2019s cover (and the fact that the judge is named \u201cDroid Judge\u201d), that the text would read like we were in a courtroom. But the book\u2019s authors constantly referenced the book itself. For example, when one lawyer asked for a moment to respond to an allegation, the judge said, \u201cTry to limit yourself to half a page\u201d. This line would have been way better had it been \u201cTry to limit yourself to one minute\u201d, thereby maintaining the illusion of being in a courtroom.<\/p>\n
Worse, the authors began by saying anything in the six films were fair game, but then constantly referenced books, comics and other Star Wars paraphernalia that lost me, and served as a constant reminder that we were not in the Star Wars Universe but were, instead, reading a book about some stuff George Lucas makes money off of. One author seemed to think it was worthy of note that he had authored to novel version of Revenge of the Sith \u2013 so much so that he cited his \u201ccredential\u201d three times. He also claimed to have insider information from Lucas himself that verified his claims, but simultaneously (and frustratingly) claimed to be unable to divulge this special information. Sounds a lot like religion to me: \u201cStar Wars is the best film ever made, and I know because God told me, but I can\u2019t tell you how God told me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
But the straw that broke this tauntaun\u2019s back was this: twice in the first 70 pages, the authors took the opportunity to cite as evidence of Star Wars\u2019 importance, the fact that the reader was reading the book! Sorry, that doesn\u2019t hold up. Any book can say \u201cMy thesis is very important, and I cite as proof the fact that you bothered to read this sentence\u201d But that\u2019s wasn\u2019t enough, evidently. Realizing that not everyone who is reading the book has purchased the book, the author\u2019s twice stepped aside from the arguments to downgrade persons who were reading the book but had not purchased it. On page 77 they said: \u201cYOU! Yeah, YOU! Don\u2019t just sit there sipping that latte! BUY this book, you cheap bastard-!\u201d<\/p>\n
Okay, this is just unacceptable. I did not steal the book, I checked it out of the library. The authors were under no compulsion to make their work available at the library, but they did. Further, I pay all sorts of taxes \u2013 some of which goes to the library\u2026and thus to authors for the sale of their book to the library. Further, I only buy books that I am sure I will either reread, or reference repeatedly for years to come. As such, most books I buy are books that I HAVE ALREADY READ. Yeah, that\u2019s right, far from being a cheap bastard, I am simply a cautious consumer. I bought Animal Farm after having read it five times. And I\u2019ve read it since. And Orwell never harassed me for not buying his book the moment it went on sale at Barnes & Noble.<\/p>\n
Bottom line\u2026<\/p>\n
The idea of \u201cStar Wars on Trial\u201d\u2026A
Execution of that idea\u2026F<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Almost always, if I read past, say, page 10, I finish a book. After reading the reviews of the book, the back cover (yes, I do judge books by their covers), and scanning the Table of Contents, I plunge into books full well expecting to finish them. Even if the book is sub-expectations, I like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books-film-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55\/revisions\/68"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}