{"id":4079,"date":"2012-10-31T07:02:48","date_gmt":"2012-10-31T12:02:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/?p=4079"},"modified":"2012-10-31T07:02:48","modified_gmt":"2012-10-31T12:02:48","slug":"shadows-and-lights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2012\/10\/shadows-and-lights\/","title":{"rendered":"Shadows and Lights"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Monday, 29 October 2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Here&#8217;s some funny stuff I gotta share with you-<\/p>\n<p>Bill Maher making fun of Mitt Romney certainly isn&#8217;t news-worthy, but here&#8217;s a clip of his writers lifting a scene from Alfred Hitchcock&#8217;s masterpiece <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0036342\/\">Shadow of a Doubt<\/a><\/em>, and putting a hilarious spin on it&#8230;<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/RNV1TJl49pk\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Also, this made me laugh:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2012\/10\/shadows-and-lights\/picture\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4081\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-4081\" title=\"picture\" src=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/picture-300x210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"262\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Also, remember a few days ago, when <a href=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2012\/10\/huck_community\/\">I lamented the indefinite postponing of the best comedy currently on TV<\/a>? Well, I&#8217;ve been checking online every few days to see if there is a change in Community&#8217;s prognosis. And, while I regret to report that there is not, the great news is that I&#8217;ve discovered that, somehow, I never got around to watching the last three episodes of last season. Oh man, how great is that? It&#8217;s like digging in your couch, looking for that quarter you dropped, and finding three quarters! And <em>that<\/em> would be truly awesome, because I&#8217;m trying to fins double the amount of money this year that I found last year. (And I&#8217;m not doing so good this month &#8211; unless something changes in the final 48 hours of October, this month will have the smallest haul of any month.)<br \/>\n<strong>Tuesday, 30 October 2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay, two small milestones to celebrate today:<\/p>\n<p>First, I finished reading the book <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/The-Piano-Lesson-August-Wilson\/dp\/0452265347\">The Piano Lesson<\/a><\/em> today. My class was assigned to read this play by today. I&#8217;m not gonna waste anymore of my life than the 90 minutes I already squandered in class talking about the book. The contents of the book are (I assure you) irrelevant.<\/p>\n<p>Far more interesting than the &#8220;story&#8221; of the book is the fact that it has become the 67th book I&#8217;ve read so far this year. This ties the record for second-most-books I&#8217;ve read in a year. The last time I read exactly 67 books in a year was 1999. The only time I ever beat that record was the very next year; I read 71 books in 2000.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, with 1\/6 of the year still to come, there&#8217;s the very real chance that I will break my record for most books read in a year. In fact, I have a book sitting on my desk that I&#8217;ll need to read for class next week, and I&#8217;m listening to a book on CD during my commute to work, so those are two books I will definitely add to <a href=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/books-ive-read-this-year\/\">my list<\/a>. I will post here once I&#8217;ve shattered the 12-year old record.<\/p>\n<p>Second&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Take a look at the chandelier that was dangling from our dining room ceiling when we moved in:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2012\/10\/shadows-and-lights\/chendelier-1\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4080\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4080\" title=\"Chendelier 1\" src=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Chendelier-1-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Chendelier-1-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Chendelier-1-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Chendelier-1.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nYes &#8211; look upon it&#8230;if you dare! Isn&#8217;t that the ugliest chandelier you&#8217;ve ever seen?<br \/>\nLet me answer that question for you: Yes. It is the ugliest chandelier you&#8217;ve ever seen. (Okay, there&#8217;s the slight exception of chandeliers that a purposely made to be ugly &#8211; like the ones you probably see in chambers of horror; but this is the ugliest chandelier that wasn&#8217;t <em>intended<\/em> to be ugly.)<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s definitely the ugliest chandelier I&#8217;ve ever seen. And I would know. When we first toured the house with a realtor last year, I immediately thought, &#8220;Well, that thing is a frightening abomination against all that is pure. I&#8217;m gonna tell the owner to knock ten thousand off the asking price just to recoup the cost of visual therapy I&#8217;m gonna need for the rest of my life now.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, over the past 14 months, everytime I&#8217;ve been at other people&#8217;s homes, I&#8217;ve taken ntoe of their chandeliers and, everytime, I&#8217;ve thought, &#8220;Wow. I&#8217;m so jealous of their light fixture. I wonder if they&#8217;d notice if I stole it? How do I distract them?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve hated this chandelier so much, loathed it will such invective, that I had considered removing it the day we moved in and replacing it with nothing. But my wife was all like, &#8220;That&#8217;s stupid. We need light in the dining room.&#8221; Jeez. I&#8217;ve even yelled at other family members for turning it on when I&#8217;m in the living room. It&#8217;s true &#8211; if I&#8217;m sitting in the living room, and someone turns on that light, the mishapen bulbs blind me with flashbulb-like intensity. On occassion, I&#8217;ve had to place a pillow over my face while the light was on. It&#8217;s truly hideous, and all who had a hand in designing it, selecting it for this home, and installing it, should be lobotomized for crimes against morality.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I bring this up now because we bought a new chandelier at apprimately 6:00 this evening. By 7:00, we had euthanized the monstrosity you see above and replaced it with the newer, less offensive model.<\/p>\n<p>The old chandelier is now for sale on Craig&#8217;s List. If you&#8217;d like to buy it, I&#8217;m sure it would make a lovely addition to your dungeon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Monday, 29 October 2013 \u00a0Here&#8217;s some funny stuff I gotta share with you- Bill Maher making fun of Mitt Romney certainly isn&#8217;t news-worthy, but here&#8217;s a clip of his writers lifting a scene from Alfred Hitchcock&#8217;s masterpiece Shadow of a Doubt, and putting a hilarious spin on it&#8230; Also, this made me laugh: Also, remember [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4079"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4079\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4083,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4079\/revisions\/4083"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}