{"id":1566,"date":"2011-05-14T08:10:16","date_gmt":"2011-05-14T13:10:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/?p=1566"},"modified":"2011-05-14T08:10:16","modified_gmt":"2011-05-14T13:10:16","slug":"bragging-tyrants-birds-and-tattoos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/2011\/05\/bragging-tyrants-birds-and-tattoos\/","title":{"rendered":"Bragging, Tyrants, Birds, and Tattoos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thursday, 12 May 2011<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I woke up this morning, I had initially planned on moaning about the realities of life; how it\u2019s so impossible to succeed at anything and how even with great effort, it seems the best I can do is to just barely keep my head above water (this even applies literally \u2013 I\u2019m a terrible swimmer). But, a couple of hours later, I realized that no one likes to read about self-loathing, unless it\u2019s done in jest. Instead, then, I\u2019ll do something that\u2019s generally considered equally repugnant yet, somehow, more readable: I\u2019ll just brag.<\/p>\n

At the end of class today, the professor passed back our Connections Projects. These projects are worth 20% of our grade. I received an A on this project \u2013 on the final page, the professor even wrote, \u201cDude, you\u2019re like my best student ever, LOL!\u201d Just kidding. But he did write \u201cThe research is comprehensive and impressive. The writing is graceful and highly readable\u2026This is excellent all around.\u201d Oh yeah!<\/p>\n

The great thing about this is that this means I\u2019m heading into the final exam (which takes place on Monday) having accumulated all the points so far available. I have only missed five points this semester \u2013 two on the first exam and three on the second exam \u2013 but I scored an extra point on two assignments for doing outstanding work and just last week I turned in an optional assignment, which garnered me another three points. So, I have over 100% in the class right now. The final is worth 20% of the grade, which means that, even if I don\u2019t show up to take the final, I still end up with a B.<\/p>\n

(Well \u2013 that\u2019s not exactly true. Not showing up to take the final would mean I haven\u2019t done all the work for the class, giving me an \u2018Incomplete\u2019 for the class.)<\/p>\n

I can only recall two other times in college that I\u2019ve gone in to take the final exam with better than a 100%. This is good. As long as I get at least 50% on the final, I get an A in the class.<\/p>\n

Bragging done.<\/p>\n

Also (and I only mention this because it is of trivial pursuit-style importance), as of today, Queen Elizabeth becomes the second-longest reigning monarch<\/a> in British history. Though Wikipedia’s calculations<\/a> seem to indicate this milestone won’t be reached until tomorrow. If I was British, I would be saying, “Long Live the Queen!” but since I’m American, I’ll just say, “When in the course of human events… (and it just goes on like that for a long time, Thomas Jefferson was really quite the rambler).”<\/p>\n

Friday, 13 May 2011<\/strong><\/p>\n

How about, instead of talking about my day, I tell you something my wife and my son did? Okay, I will.<\/p>\n

My wife visited the Mall of America today. As is our custom, she parked on the Florida level, near Bloomingdale\u2019s. Pushing Isla in the stroller, she walked through the hallway connecting the parking ramp to the mall and went in through the glass doors. There, in the all-glass entryway, was a bird fluttering around, trying to get out. The bird kept smacking against the glass and then falling down. Birds generally do this until they\u2019re dead.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve seen this before \u2013 including just a few months ago. On that day, Owen and I kind of chased-slash-cornered the bird and funneled it down the hallway and out into the ramp. I guess Bloomingdale\u2019s can\u2019t afford decals to put on the window that would allow trapped birds to at least see they shouldn\u2019t slam up against said panes.<\/p>\n

Anyway, so my wife went back out to the car today, grabbed on of our reusable canvas bags, then walked back over to Bloomingdale\u2019s, waited for the bird to flutter down to the ground, then threw the bag on top of the bird, cupped it inside the bag, and then brought it to safety.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile \u2013 at Kindergarten, Owen passed out temporary tattoos (at least, I think they\u2019re temporary \u2013 oh man, we\u2019re gonna be in big trouble if they\u2019re not!) to all of his classmates while they sang \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d to him. Tomorrow is his birthday, incidentally. This, of course, brings to mind all those years when I was in elementary school and the kids passed out treats that they brought in for their birthdays. But back then, I recall the students all receiving cookies or cupcakes or some kind of candy. One year, a kid\u2019s mom brought in a cake with a space theme, and there were little space shuttles and moon rovers on it, and I subsequently collected them all by trading with students for crap I had in my desk. Yeah, so, all that junk food. That might partially explain why my generation is one of extreme laziness and morbid obesity. The powers that be at Owen\u2019s school, on the other hand, have requested\u00a0 no junk food, so his generation will be one loaded up with stickers, crazy pencil toppers, and temporary tattoos.<\/p>\n

At least, I think they\u2019re temporary.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thursday, 12 May 2011 When I woke up this morning, I had initially planned on moaning about the realities of life; how it\u2019s so impossible to succeed at anything and how even with great effort, it seems the best I can do is to just barely keep my head above water (this even applies literally […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1566","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1570,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions\/1570"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zimmerscope.com\/Verbisaurus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}