Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Know what I’m sick of hearing? That Jared Loughner is an “alleged” shooter in last weekend’s Tuscon massacre. Here’s an article that hits you with that clunker right off the bat.

I know, I know, his actions have not been proven in a court of law yet. Kind of reminds me of how we didn’t know for sure if OJ killed his wife or not until the courts told us that, no, he didn’t. Or, at least they told us that no, we don’t know.

As the alleged author of this blog, I’m going to allege that Loughner was the killer in all six cases. I know I’m really going out on a limb here, but since I’m not a politician or a lawyer, I don’t have to couch my writing in all sorts of silly caveats.

I’m going to go get something to eat now. Food, allegedly, keeps me alive. Whatever. I ain’t buyin’ it ’til the courts say so.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Today I added to Owen’s college fund. Well, I guess I’m always adding to it in that he has a porcelain piggy bank that I drop coins into almost daily, but today I brought in all the coins and paper money and deposited them into his account.

This is a bigger to-do than you might think. For one thing, in order to keep Owen’s money in a high-interest account, I have it in a special certificate (I think that’s what it’s called) that renews yearly. That means I can’t withdraw or deposit from the account for 12 months. The withdrawl part is fine, because I have never withdrawn from the account. But for deposits, I wait until a letter arrives in the mail telling me the certificate is expiring. I then have 30 days to go in and renew the certificate and (if I desire) add more money to it.

However! The credit union does not have a coin counting machine, and they won’t accept ten pounds of coins being dumped on their counter, either. So, for the fifth year in a row now, I’ve ventured over to TCF Bank and used their coin counter. But there’s a problem with this, too: TCF charges almost 10% of the proceeds if you’re not a member. I am not a member.

“But wait,” you ask, “Why not just get an account at TCF and then you can deposit the money right there with no fees?”

That’s a good question. The answer is: Because TCF is a lousy company and I do not wish to do business with them. Also, one reason why I make myself rare at Cub is because TCF employees annoy the crap out of me even when I’m at Cub.

Anyway, I’ve never had to pay their coin-counting extortionist fees. Here’s how I beat the system (this time): I rely on the good graces of a co-worker. He’s a TCF member, and he has generously tagged along with me so that, should they ask for a member signature (and they did this time), he can provide it and we get away with no loss of cash. He even made the coin counting a little funner this time by having us first guess how many items would not be accept by the counter (e.g., Canadian coins) and estimating how much money was in the jar I brought with me.

Oh – and that brings me to my next point: There wasn’t a heck of a lot of coins in the jar. Around 30 bucks, actually. Of course, I deposited more than that, because Owen also had some paper money, but, still…I wish it would’ve racked up a little higher than that. Living in an apartment means my wife and I funnel off all quarters (for laundry) before they make it into his piggy bank, and this year we began setting aside money for Isla’s college fund. My wife figures that, at the rate we’re going, Owen and Isla will each be able to take one college course one day. Her estimate did not take inflation or interest into account (wow, an unintentional pun), but I still see her point.

Hey, at least we’re trying. Owen and Isla already have far more (= an infinite) money set aside for college than we did when we were that age.

Want to read more about the Zimmermans? Read my wife’s recent blog post HERE.

Saturday, 08 January 2011

You might recall that last September I spoke at the Maple Grove Critical Thinkers’ Club on the topic of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Following my presentation that day, the club’s president invited me to come back and speak just on the topic of atheism. My friend, Eric, had accompanied me back in September, so he was asked to come speak on atheism, too.

So, today I was back at Champp’s in Maple Grove, along with Eric, to deliver a presentation about atheism. After introducing ourselves, Eric offered the definition of several terms, including atheist, agnostic, freethinker, apatheist, antitheist, humanist, and secularist. I then spoke in more detail about atheism and agnosticism. I pointed out that since agnosticism references only knowledge (not religious knowledge necessarily), and that since we all have gaps in our knowledge, then we are all agnostics. I pointed out how it was unfair that most people dismiss agnostics as being unconcerned with looking at the evidences offered for gods’ existences or being too stupid to understand the data. I likewise pointed out that, as an atheist, I am not dogmatically saying gods do not exist (that would make me an antitheist), but that I am merely saying I see no compelling evidence that any exist.

Eric then listed off a few famous atheists from the recent past and the present. I quickly followed this up by noting that we are all born as atheists (since we are not born believing in any gods) and that, according to a recent article by Ricky Gervais, there are 2,870 deities and so, unless anyone in the audience was Hindu, it was safe to say we are all ~99% atheist.

We also discussed some of the logical problems with a supernatural god and whether a person could be both atheist and spiritual.

As before, the Q and A portion that followed was the most interesting part of the morning. One questioner wondered why we should be so concerned. The (quick) answer: because religion does lots of damage, the good it does could be done without belief, and in our country, as in many others, public policy is dictated by silly, outmoded beliefs.

Another person asked how we (Eric and I) felt about near-death and out-of-body experiences. I compared those things to Star Wars (I guess Star Wars is on my mind lately): even if it was proven that people can move things around with their minds, or that our consciousness survives after death, this still does not prove the existence of deities.

Another comment was: “It seems to me that you guys took your bad experience from your fundamentalist upbringings and then threw out all religions based on one bad experience.” She followed this up by saying that when she goes to her local Buddhist temple, she feels connected to god in that she feels at one with the universe, and senses something larger than herself. I replied by pointing out that the Witnesses “proofs” for god are taken from the bible, so since I discovered that the bible is a pile of shit, then this means not just the Witnesses, but all Christian, Jewish and Muslim sects likewise have no valid argument for god(s). I added that the burden of proof is on the person saying something exists. So, for example, if Ganesha does exist, I can’t be faulted for not believing in her until her existence is proven to me. I also conceded that Eric and I should’ve added “god” to our list of definitions early in our presentation, because if we redefine god to mean “the universe,” then, yes I believe in god. I compared this to the popular graffiti from the 1960s: “Clapton is God;” if ‘god’ is defined as the guitarist Eric Clapton, then I not only whole-heartily believe in him, but I fully understand why people would love him.

One of my favorite comments was when an older gentleman said that he had once attended an atheist gathering and they all seemed like bummed-out curmudgeons. Conversely, he visited the local Hindu temple and found that everyone there was very excited to see him and they seemed full of happiness. When I mentioned this to my wife, her immediate response was, “That’s called love-bombing.” But my response was different, I said that I’d noticed, in my time, that drunk people are happier than sober people.

Sunday, 09 January 2011

We began our house-hunting adventures today. I absolutely hate looking for houses. Our new realtor is a major improvement over the last one, but I still found the experience frustrating, annoying and, at least for the moment, depressing. That’s all I’m saying about it, and I’m only saying that because I figure I have to say something about today.If you want more details, contact my wife, who is both more mentally stable regarding this sort of thing and doesn’t find it to be the terrible, terrible experience that I do.

In other news, I made a pot of tea for me, my wife, and my mom-in-law today. Want to know how stupid I am sometimes? Of course you do:

The label on the tin of loose tea says “1.5 teaspoons.” So, not wanting to waste this expensive brew, I carefully measured out 1.5 teaspoons and added it to the insert in our cast-iron teapot. After adding in the water and waiting the appropriate 2 minutes, I aliquoted (yes, it’s a word) some into the three mugs. As I did so, I said, “Wow, this is really weak looking tea. My wife pointed out that the 1.5 teaspoons was likely referencing each serving (=mug), not an entire pot. After all, the tea store has no idea how large my pot is.

Monday, 10 January 2011

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but my cell phone provider is AT&T and I absolutely hate their “service” and I used to hate the phone the sold me, until I sold it for a profit through Craig’s List and bought a non-AT&T phone as a substitution. My old Verizon phone (which does not work on an AT&T plan, otherwise I’d be using it right now) is sitting in a box under our bed waiting for July of this year when I can switch back.

“Hey,” you ask, “if you liked your Verizon phone so much, why did you switch to AT&T in the first place?”

That’s a great question. The answer is: My wife. Yeah, she wanted an iPhone, and Apple stupidly decided to join forces with AT&T. That’s like if Brian Wilson started partnering with Mariah Carey for song-writing. Anyway, she wanted an iPhone, so we had to switch. Fuck that. I’m switching back to Verizon as soon as my indentured servitude to AT&T expires, and my wife can do whatever she wants with her cell phone future.

Anyway, I bring this up because it seems I’m not the only one who’s noticed this unholy alliance between one company that makes great products and one company that, well, hasn’t done anything of note since their name became outdated: Apple on AT&T.

For slightly more satisfying reading, here’s an article I read today about why the letters X and Z appear in so many drug names.

And finally, here’s a dog that’s smarter than most people I’ve ever met: Border Collie recognizes names for 1,022 items.

Friday, 07 January 2011

Here’s a funny thing. Well, not ha-ha funny, but, you know…

So, a few months ago, my friend Ryan found out – in a very round about way – that his father had had a heart attack. Ryan was upset at not being notified immediately but, you know, his siblings are Witnesses, so they saw no reason to contact their “apostate” brother. I mean, he’s wicked, after all. In the ensuing discussions with his family, Ryan learned another major news item about his brother and was similarly hurt that no one cared enough to call him. Essentially, Ryan feels that, even though he’s no longer the same religion as his family, he still deserves the human decency of being informed when there is a birth, death, or major medical situation. Silly Ryan. It will sure be nice when Jehovah kills wicked people like him.

Conversely (here’s the funny part), I have parents that, though they are Witnesses, are decent enough to tell me what’s going on in the family. My mom, for example, told me about my cousin’s recent adoption of a child, and she called me just about every day to offer updates on my grandma’s hospital stay. Today, my Dad called for the third time in as many weeks to let me in on what’s going on (medically) with a couple of my relatives. But…(and maybe this is the funny part), contrary to Ryan, I don’t know if I want this information.

Let me back-peddle a little bit. I don’t mean that I’m not concerned with my family members who are suffering right now. Quite the opposite, I really feel bad for both of them, and I am sorry that they and the family have to go through these ordeals right now. But just as it doesn’t really matter if Ryan is informed or not informed about a new birth in the family (since he won’t be invited to visit anyways), it makes no difference whether I know this information or not. I mean, it makes a difference in that I can privately grieve for their problems and wish that they get better, but it makes no difference to the people who are actually suffering.

See, when Jennifer gave birth to Isla, we called people that we thought would care – we wanted them to share in the joy, we wanted them to come visit and see the new baby. We posted the information on this site, and on our Facebook pages, and I emailed my co-workers and other people all with the idea that we would receive some sort of feedback. This feedback ranged from a simple email reply sayings, “Congrats!!!” to home visits wherein people brought gifts, meals, and assisted with the house work. All of it was welcomed and appreciated.

But…what am I supposed to do with the knowledge that so-and-so is in the hospital? He doesn’t want me to visit, or to call, or even to send a card. In fact, if he saw me at a store or a restaurant, he would ignore me. And his closest relatives – spouse, child, parents, etc., also shun me, so it’s not like I can call them and express my sympathies or offer assistance. So when my Dad calls and says, “Your relative is going in for surgery on her hip, I guess she’s in a lot of pain,” I just really don’t know what to do with that information apart from immediate platitudes like, “Oh, that’s too bad” and, “Well thanks for telling me.”

Perhaps Ryan would like to switch places? (No, no, no. He’d make a lousy Zimmerman – he’s not opinionated enough.)

Wednesday, 05 January 2011

Owen and I watched Revenge of the Sith this evening. So now he’s seen all six movies. This was only my second time seeing Episode III. The other time was over five years ago, at the theater.

After re-watching the prequels, I had to open up my list of films I’ve seen and adjust my ratings. In short, I lowered my ratings on all three movies. I’m sorry, but they are just terrible.

Even Episode III, which, from what I could tell, had no Jar-Jar dialogue, was just so poorly done. There’s no question that the special effects are amazing, but there’s not much else good to be said. The dialogue is so bad as to be embarrassing, the parts that are supposed to be ‘epic’ just come off as ridiculous, and worst, it doesn’t even line up with Episode IV very well. How did that happen? It’s got to be one of the most inexplicable conundrums in the history of cinema.

Think about it: George Lucas could have put the word out to just about anyone and said: “Hey, I have the script here for the Star Wars prequels. If you want to pay me $1,000, I’ll let you read the scripts and you can give me suggestions.” And, guess what, he would have made a million bucks off of fanboys flying in on their own buck to read the scripts in advance and see what they thought of them. You’d think someone would have said: “Um, maybe you should take out the part here where C-3PO lives with Owen and Beru for years. Because, you see, that would conflict with Episode IV, where Owen’s so against Luke getting involved with the rebellion – it’s hard to believe he would purposely bring that droid back into their lives.”

Some dumb things Owen (the one that lives with me) noticed:

-Why do Anakin and Obi-Wan not touch light sabers?

Yeah, it’s true. There’s a moment during their fight when they are standing about two feet apart, lightsabers a-blazin’, and it’s apparently just to look cool.

-What’s that thing Obi-Wan is riding?

I don’t know, but it’s got to be the dumbest creature ever to appear in the Star Wars universe.

-Why did Padme die?

Yeah, that’s a mystery too. No one knows why a woman who has just given birth would suddenly feel they have no will to live, especially when her death directly contradicts Return of the Jedi.

-How did the babies get milk if their mom died?

They were probably just given midi-chlorinated forcemula.

Thursday, 06 January 2011

We’re getting the ball rolling (to use a lame-ass cliché’) regarding buying a home again. As you’ll recall, we tried something like this about 11 months ago, but just as we were going to go look at house, our incompetent realtor discovered we needed to wait 3 years from the time of a short sale, not two.

Anyway, it’s now been 2 years and 10 months, so we’re once again in the process of getting pre-approved for a loan (again) and finding a realtor (again). The good news – and, yes, this is good news as far as I’m concerned – is that the economy still sucks; so home prices are even lower than they were last time, interest rates are down and, since it’s a buyers’ market, we don’t have to pounce on any available house that happens to pop up and compete with other people to buy it.

Similarly, realtors really need to prove themselves, since there’s not as much work for them right now. My wife talked to a realtor today who didn’t seem very excited about our home-buying. She said things like, “Do you guys mind looking at old houses?” Um, no, we don’t mind. In fact, we like older houses (as long as they’ve been maintained). If we didn’t like older houses, we would be house-hunting in the suburbs. She also was concerned about our price range which, again, seems odd as we are seeing homes for over $100,000 lower than we will be approved for and $30-40,000 lower than we are willing to spend. So….yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem. Over all, she didn’t sound very enthusiastic. Maybe she knew she wouldn’t make as much money off of us as, say, someone who is in the market for a $500,000 house. And you know what? That’s great; if she can sustain her livelihood by showing houses to rich people, than I applaud her.

But I’m also not gonna go with her. So I told Jennifer to email her and say, essentially, we’ll look for another realtor.

Monday, 03 January 2011

Remember how I said that I wanted to post a video of our family playing the dice game, but I couldn’t successfully upload it? (If not, CLICK HERE.)

Anyway, the point is, it’s online now. Watch it:

I also feel the need to point out that I’m back at work for the first time in 12 days. That was my longest break since my paternity leave thanks to Isla. I need more long breaks like that. Thankfully, I’ve been given another four weeks vacation to use for this year (plus I carried over some time from last year). And, whilst lunching with my co-workers, I found out we get Martin Luther King Day off. What a stupid, stupid day to have off from work. But, no, I’m not complaining.

Tuesday, 04 January 2011

First, I made this quiz at Sporcle today. At the time of this writing, it already has been played 91 times, so I guess it’s being well-received. I came up with the idea for this quiz because I’m watching all the Star Wars movies with Owen these days.

Second, I’ve decided to keep track of the money I find this year. I did that back in 2001 and in 2002 with the idea of seeing if, first, I found more money in a single year than a minimum-wage earner makes in an hour (I did) and, second, if I could find more than I made in an hour (I did not). So, I decided to try again.

Every once in a while, I decide to keep track of silly things in my life. A couple of years ago, I started keeping track of the time I ate fast food, but I didn’t finish. In 2007 and 2008, I kept track of the money I made from non-work/non-investment sources. You know, like money that I made from winning contests, from doing online surveys, from gifts, and from selling stuff via Half-price Books and Craig’s List. Surprisingly, I netted over $2,000 through these means in both 2007 and 2008.

Anyway, this year I’m gonna keep track of money I find – you know, just laying around. I’m not gonna count money that I find in my own cars or home, because that’s my money in the first place. And I’m not gonna count money that I know belongs to someone else. You know, like I’ll be at your house, helping you clean out your garage and, suddenly, I say, “Hey, did you know there’s a ten dollar bill lying here?”

So, I’ll see how it goes. I’ll let you know if and when I find more than minimum wage (currently at $7.25 in Minnesota). For all I know, I might beat that amount in a single day. Back on June 6th of 2009, for example, I found twenty bucks in the parking lot of a movie theater. Score!

Finally, while I knew taking ‘holy’ communion could cause fetal alcohol syndrome, I didn’t know it could also transmit hepatitis A. On the other hand, I’m not surprised. I guess hepatitis is the price you pay for drinking the Kool-Aid.