Egyptology

Friday, 04 March 2011

This evening, we dined at Ray’s Mediterranean Restaurant again. The family who owns and runs the place is from Egypt, so it was no big surprise that they’ve capitalized on King Tut’s visit to the Science Museum with posters saying things like “Come in and eat like a Pharoah!”  (I wonder if that’s such a good thing to say when the Pharoah on display died at age 19…)

I ordered the vegetarian platter which featured several different items. Apart from the potatoes and the salad, I couldn’t recognize any of it, but that’s okay. It all tasted great. Last time we ate at Ray’s, Owen ordered the ravioli, but this time he decided to go with a salad. That’s it. Just one big salad. And he ate it all, too. Jennifer decided to go with the pasta (like she always does), and Isla tried to eat the tablecloth (like she always does).

Saturday, 05 March 2011

Today, my sister and her husband came over, complete with Papa Murphy’s pizzas in tow. My sister even called me as they were driving an told me to get the oven heated up.

My sister and her husband seem to get a real kick out of watching what it’s like to be a parent. They keep laughing, saying things like, “We could never be a mom and dad because we would just laugh at everything they do all day.” They thought it was quite funny that we just strip Isla down to a diaper before sitting her at the table to eat. They found it even funnier that we let Isla take the spoon from us whenever she wants and that this causes her to get food all over her face, hair, arms, and chest, and this, in turn, causes me to take the spoon back, wipe the food off her chest, then feed it to her.

Later, we stood Isla up on the table (showing off her dimpled thighs, which my sister termed as “hail damage”) and then gave her a bath in the kitchen sink. This is, evidently, also very funny stuff.

Sunday, 06 March 2011

My wife likes to take pictures of our places of dwelling before we move out of them, so today she took pictures of the office, living room, and dining room. Of course, we are not getting ready to move at the moment, but we need to baby-proof the rooms, and so Jennifer wanted to photograph our opulent luxury in all its beauty before she began baby-proofing.

Most importantly, Isla keeps crawling over to the entertainment center and pulling off the DVDs. It’s not that the DVD cases could cause her any harm, but we don’t really want her drooling all over them or opening them up and breaking the DVDs.

On a related note: I’m not sure why we don’t want Isla to ruin the DVDs. IF there’s one thing I’ve noticed about our movie collection, it’s that there is no surer way to ensure we will never watch a movie again than to purchase it. It appears that, once we own a movie, we feel that we could watch it any time…and so we don’t.

By night-fall, the DVDs, the scanner, some framed photographs, and a few other easily-accessible possessions had been squirreled away to another part of the home. In their place: board books, blocks, rattles, a boppy, and some other things that 7-month olds think are awesome.

Monday, 07 March 2011

After being in the lab for a little while this morning, I came out to my cube and noticed that it was 8:01 AM. I wrote on my calendar a few weeks ago that 8:00 AM on Monday, March 7th is the time that the Science Museum opens up their registration for summer classes. Since I wanted to make sure that Owen got into the Egypt class before it was too late, I tried to make sure I registered as soon as possible.

Well, by 8:04, guess what? Yeah, that’s right, the class was already filled up! Wow. That was quick. But fear not! Turns out, only the June 20-24th dates were full, so I was able to get Owen in to the August 15-19th class. Whew…safe.

Also today, I tried squeezing in every moment I could to study for an exam that will be taking place in class tomorrow. I studied during lunch, while in the work-out room, and right before bed.

The exam will consist of two parts: first, there will be 10 passages from 10 texts, and we have to identify the author of the passage. Second, we have to select four of the passages and write about what they are describing or demonstrating (e.g., “This text show the Puritan world-view was glum and creepy…”).

So as you can see, part one is vitally important. Because, for example, if I erroneously attribute a text from John Smith (his real name!) to William Bradford, then I won’t really get the second part right either. Even more confusing, I don’t want to wrongly assert that a poem from the Inuits was from the Aztecs.

So, I spent the day trying to fit in some studying. I’ll report back later.

The Pits

Wednesday, 02 March 2011

This evening, I attended a “Publishing Seminar” organized and put on by my college. My one word for describing this event is: depressing.

Do you want to know how to take your English degree and get a job in the world of editing and publishing? Be an intern! Yes, that’s right, two of the three people on the panel discussion were editors working for local book publishers (the third was a published poet) and they one of them stressed how she spent their summer during college working as an inern at places where she eventuall got hired. The guy, meanwhile, told his tale of woe how he almost got hired at this great publishing house, but that they decided to go with their intern instead. So then he moved back hom and lived with his parents for a few months while working as an intern at another company. That company eventually hired him.

Did I mention they didn’t get paid for these internships?

The other thing they mentioned was the importance of networking. For example, that same guy noted how he’s in charge of reading the incoming unsolicited manuscripts that they receive every January and May. He says some are good, some are not so good, but regardless, they end up going with people they know – like maybe one of the manuscripts comes from a former classmate of one of the editors. I figured I would go up to him and get to know him after the seminar and tell him a little bit about my book…but then I learned that he received his degree from Bringham Young University.

Thursday, 03 March 2011

Today, over dinner, while discussing the third in what is (apparently) an endless procession of lay-offs at my job, Owen started crying. Turns out, he was very sad that I might lose my job. When we tried to console him, he told us that he still wanted to be able to go to the ball pit.

Yeah, that’s right – did you know my company has a ball pit? Okay, so actually they don’t. Instead, at the local community center, about a mile from my company, there’s a play area for kids. And Owen didn’t want to lose that.

See, when we lived in Big Lake, Jennifer would drop Owen off with me for a couple of hours every Monday while she went to a therapist. At first, I didn’t know what to do with Owen. Sometimes I brought him into my job and took him to the cafeteria to have lunch with my co-workers.  Other times, I took him to Cub, and we’d just walk around and then eat in their dining area. Once the weather became warmer, we went to the local regional park and played on the playground or walked on the beach.

At some point, I eventually realized their was a community center in town, and I began taking him there. For $3, he could play in this kid’s area, with slides, mazes, and, yes, a ball pit. There was even a special area cordoned off for kids under three years old (which he was back then).  This was the perfect place, because he could be loud and crazy, or just sit quietly and play with a toy. When he was done playing for a little bit, we’d go eat lunch off on the side, then head back in for some more play.

The area where we ate overlooked a swimming pool, and Owen said he wanted to go swimming in the pool one day. After several months, I finally made good on that and we began heading into the swimming pool every Monday.

Anyway, today we explained to him that we haven’t been to that ball pit in a long time, and that there are other play areas we’ve been to in the meantime. He said, “but they don’t have pools.” Well, es, we conceded that that was correct, but then we pointed out how we’d been to other pools, too.

Here’s the funny thing: do you the last time we went to that community center? Three years ago today. Owen has more than doubled in age since his last visit there, but he still recalls that place fondly. Pretty cool, I think.

The Highlight of My Day

Tuesday, 01 March 2011

Here’s where my day peaked today—

I was running a little late this morning. I quickly brushed my teeth and put on my shoes. I started to put on my coat when Owen, tired and bleary-eyed, came hobbling out of his bedroom. I said good morning. He said good morning. Then I said I was sorry that I couldn’t spend any time with him at the moment because I had to hurry off to school. “But we’ll see each other this evening, okay?” I said to him. He nodded.

This whole time, I was fiddling with my coat. I couldn’t seem to locate my left sleeve. “Ugh!” I said, exasperated. I finally realized that the inner lining of my coat was turned inside out and so I hurriedly tried to fix it. “This stupid coat,” I said.

“What’s wrong?” Owen asked.

“I can’t find my sleeve,” I said.

And just then I found my sleeve. As I zipped up my coat, Owen said, “That happens to me, too, sometimes.”

I smiled. We hugged and I thanked him for his concern. I was awake for another 14 hours – but that was the highlight of my day.

Three Blah Days

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Today Jennifer and Isla took off for a ladies’ afternoon with all of their female relatives. Owen and I stayed home. I was contemplating doing about five or six different activities (e.g., making good on an offer a chess master made to give Owen a free lesson, heading over to my friend Ryan’s house for computer assistance), but when the moment came, I didn’t feel like doing any of them.

Instead, we just stayed home. Owen played out on the deck, then we matched wits at checkers and chess. We organized some of his animal trading cards and did some dishes. Later, we drove over to Ray’s Mediterranean Restaurant and dined on some yummy comestibles.

While there, Owen asked me if John McCain was still president. I explained that McCain has never been president. “When will he be president?” Owen asked. I said, “Never. Well, probably not. I doubt he would try running for president again.” I then reminded him that Obama was currently the president and that a man named George Bush was president when you were born. He asked who was president when I was born. “Gerald Ford,” I said. Owen admitted to never having even heard of that man. “Yeah,” I said, resignedly, “he’s probably the most forgettable president of the last hundred years.”

Sunday, 27 February 2011

This evening, for the first time in three years, we watched almost all of the Academy Awards ceremony. I just felt like having it on, I guess, for old time’s sake. See, once upon a time, I loved watching the Oscars to get ideas of what films I wanted to see. Later, I made it a goal to see all the movies that won the Oscar for Best Picture, a goal that my wife shared with me. Later still, Jennifer and I would try to see as many of the Best Picture nominees as we could – from 1998 to 2003 that’s pretty much what we did.

It was a lot of fun to see all those movies. It made the Oscar ceremony that much more enjoyable, as well. Then, sometime around 2004, I kind of stopped caring about them as much. I still was curious to see who won what, particularly if someone I really admired was nominated, but I no longer made the concerted effort to see all the nominees.

This year, Jennifer and I saw three of the Best Picture nominees (The Social Network, Toy Story 3, and Inception). I was also rooting for Randy Newman – that perennial loser who, over the past 30 years, had won exactly one of the 19 Oscars he had been nominated for.

Jennifer, Owen, and Isla all went to bed just before the Best Song category. I stayed up for a few more minutes to see who would win. I was so thrilled that Newman won that I went in and disturbed Jennifer, then posted it to my Facebook status. Not only did Randy win, but he gave the best speech of the evening. Congratulations, Randy.

On the downside, I am once again unable to say I’ve seen every Best Picture winner. The King’s Speech…here I come.

Monday, 28 February 2011

Whew! Made it!

Yeah…February is a brutal month for us, and not just because it’s I Love to Read Month. Over the past several years, we’ve all seemed to get sick in February. We all got sick this month, but just mildly. Owen missed one day of school; I never called in sick to work.

February was a tough month last year – Owen was sick for weeks, and Jennifer and I were back in school for the second semester in a row. This year appeared a little easier, I’m happy to say. I’m still busy with my college class, and I’m pretty much done with the winter (a feeling I get every year around Groundhog’s Day).

Of course, I get sick at least once every March or April. It’s been that way for about 20 years. So, as I say good-bye to February, I say hello to a looming illness.

ALERT: Car Alarm Going Off!

Thursday, 24 February 2011

My alarm went off very early this morning: 12:01 am. Or so I thought. As I came to, cursing how tired I was, I looked over at my alarm clock and realized that I still had over 6 hours of sleep to go. “Then why is my alarm going off?” I wondered.

It wasn’t.

Instead, it was a car alarm. The car was parked in the parking lot belong to the apartment complex next to ours. The alarm went off for about a minute, then stopped. I tried to fall back to sleep, but five minutes later, the alarm went off again. This is exactly what happened two nights ago and three nights ago.

I got out of bed and looked out the window. I went into the living room for a better view. The car’s owner was nowhere in sight and, in my estimation, lives on the other side of his/her apartment building and therefore had no idea his/her car is such a menace. This happened once before, last year, and I called the police. They showed up, drove around like a couple of idiots for a few minutes, then left the lot. I called the station again and asked if they were going to do anything about it, and the dispatcher said, “Well we don’t know whose car it is, and it’s a security building so we can’t get inside.” Huh. That’s funny. I would’ve thought that a wimpy lock on a glass door wouldn’t be enough to stop the boys in blue, but I guess it is. Too bad the cops don’t have any way to run license plate or VIN numbers. Someone should get on that: I could see it coming in handy.

As a side note, why does it seem that, like car alarms, policeman are frequently useless. Drive 39 in a 35, or grow some weed in your backyard, and they’ll be all over your ass. But ask them to step up when there is a real problem…and they don’t seem to care. Maybe ’cause there’s no money in stopping car alarms.

Anyway, I called the cops again tonight, and the dispatcher said she’d send someone out there. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t; nothing became of it. So then I remembered that our manager said to call a towing company. So I called Twin Cities Towing, and the oaf answered the phone by simply saying: “Twin Cities.” You know, ’cause there’s no other company in the metro area with “Twin Cities” in their name. Anyway, here’s how the rest of the phone conversation progressed:

ME: Yeah, hi, there’s a car in my neighborhood and the car alarm not stopping. It’s disturbing the peace. Can you come and tow it?

HE: Well is it your car?

ME: No, it’s not.

HE: Well, unless it’s yer car…

ME: Wait, just out of curiosity, why would anyone ever want their own car towed because of a car alarm?

HE: Huh?

ME: Is there any reason why I would call to have my car towed if the only reason was that the alarm was going off?

HE: Well I just asked you ’cause that’s our proceed —

ME: Yeah, no one would ever do that. They would just go and shut off their alarm.

HE: Alright, sir.

ME: Bye. Idiot.

Then I remembered that the manager said to call the towing company she uses, so I went all the way downstairs and walked out to the garages to see the number of the towing company listed there. I called them. All I got was their voicemail.

So then I pulled out my binoculars and deciphered the car’s license plate number. You know, to help the cops. Then I called the cops again. This time, a guy answered the phone and he wanted my name and address. There’s no reason for that, but I complied, and I also gave him the car’s plate number. He asked if the car was “doing it” right now,” and I explained, “Well, not this second, but it was going off when I called you and it will start up again.” He said they’d look into it.

The tough thing about this is that the car is in a lot that belongs to another apartment complex. See, if the car was parked at a house, I would just go over there and knock on the owner’s door. If the car was parked in my complex’s lot, I would knock on every door until I found the owner. But I simply don’t have access to that building.

Anyway, I printed out a letter informing informing the owner of their car’s late-night partying, and I plan to stick it under their windshield wiper.

I completely hate car alarms. I prefer that my cars not have them. They have been an unnecessary nuisance hundreds of times, and they only benefited me once (and not even for the intended reason). In fact, car alarms are so superfluous, that when people hear the alarms going off, they don’t think, “oh no! Someone’s car is in danger!” they think: “Who’s stupid car is that? Someone better shut that off.”

Friday, 25 February 2011

For the past five years, I have volunteered to serve as a judge at the Twin Cities’ Science Fair. I initially accepted their invitation again this year, but just yesterday, I switched my RSVP to “decline.”

I felt bad doing it, but there’s just too much else going on. I want to stop and take a breather, if you’ll excuse the cliche’. Also, for the last two years, my friend Jeremy has accompanied me, but this year he couldn’t make it. He couldn’t make it, actually, because he is moving to Chicago this very day.

Not going to the science fair freed me up to pick Owen up from Kindergarten, a promise I had slacked on last week. The four of us went out to eat at Panera which, unlike the Science Fair, has free parking.

So, oh well, I skipped out this year. Maybe next year.

Also, have you ever wondered what happens if you list “Lord Voldemort” as your name when you order Jimmy John’s via the internet.? Wonder no more.

Finally, here’s a very funny site that my wife found.