Verbisaurus Blogicus

Saturday, 03 November 2012

Earlier this week, I wrote out a list of projects Jennifer and I have around the house that are half done. I’m kind of sick of so many partially completed projects languishing in our basement, garage, and (frustratingly) on the shelves in our dining room. So I made a list of all of them.

Now, these aren’t lists that have anything to do with the house…they’re just side projects that we began, and never finished. After making the list, I started asking Jennifer what was stopping us from moving forward with each of these projects. The reasons varied. Soemtimes, we were missing a certain tool or supply. In other cases, we need several hours to dedicate to the project, and that just doesn’t readily happen with kids around.

Anyway, today we made headway on a few of the projects. Jennifer ran to a couple stores and acquired a few supplies. I took our little rocking chair – the one I’ve had since I was a wee thing – and brought it out to the garage and sanded away.

Sunday, 04 November 2012

More progress today.

Jennifer made headway on an art project concernign our kids’ table, and she worked on her whittling for a spell, too.

We have a couple of videos we are working on that are both being held up for want of appropriate music, so I made a thorough search and selected a couple of tunes.

We ventured to Michael’s this evening in search of both a piece of glass (to replace the broken on in one frame) and some clay.

They didn’t have the right kind of clay…just an empty box where the clay should be.

The glass, meanwhile, was available for $26. Yikes! That’s an insane price for a piece of glass to insert into a 3×5 frame. Has anyone ever paid that? How do they justify that? Instead, I’m gonna go to the Goodwill one day soon and buy any old stupid 3×5 frame, then throw away the frame and keep the glass. That should set me back about 89 cents.

We left Michael’s empty-handed. Sadly, this is typical.

Monday, 05 November 2012

Jennifer completed work on the kids’ table today. Sort of. She discovered things didn’t work quite according to plan and now she’s contemplating various work arounds.

That’s always frustrating. Just when you think a project is done…it turns out not to be.

We had far more luck with our project concerning the Rubbermaid totes. We had seven of them in the garage. Most are filled with clothes from when our kids were littler, but there’s also one for camping supplies, and another for Jennifer’s doll collection.

For the past several months, the totes have been full. Overfull, actually. 

So, several weeks ago, Jennifer bought two new totes. And here’s why I wanted to finish the project: I don’t like two large, empty totes taking up space in our kitchen.

This weekend, I brought all the totes (except for the camping supply one) into the house and Jennifer reorganized them all, dispersing the contents amongst the nine totes. I brought some of them back out to the garage, but we needed better labels for a few of them, so four of them are still sitting in our living room.

And that’s the fun part: I draped a huge blanket over the two double-stacked sets of totes, and now Isla has a little hiding spot. She brought some toy dinosaurs in their with her today. She sat in there quietly for about a half hour, which makes this count as a “win” in my books.

Also, if you want more details on Owen’s broken bone, HERE YOU GO.

Thursday, 01 November 2012

Okay, so remember a couple of days ago, when I briefly mentioned my mild unhappiness with our home’s original chandelier? My wife says that I should show you the new chendelier, as a means of bringing closure to that earlier post. Here it is:

Due to my phone’s lack of quality-picture-taking ability, that’s the best your gonna get. I assure you, that ethereal glow is not inherent in the chandelier’s illumination.

And while I’m posting random pictures from my phone, here’s another one I gotta share with you…

I stopped into a small store today and, amidst the gift wrapping section, I saw copies of The St. Paul Almanac for sale. See them? They’re in the bottom left and right corners. Damn, I love how awesome it feels to see stuff I wrote for sale like that.

Friday, 02 November 2012

For the eighth time in as many Novembers, I participated in my company’s annual 6 kilometer run/walk today.

Last year, I tried. I went out and ran around the lake probably 20 times between July and November. On days that I didn’t do that, I often went for long walks. And on other days I visited the YMCA with my family and worked out there.

And it paid off. I finished the race last year with my best time ever, setting a new record a full two minutes shorter than my previous record. I also, for the first time, finished in the top third, by being #118 of 410 runners.

This year, I didn’t try. I haven’t run the course since last year, and I haven’t been on a treadmill in over a year. I did participate in a workout class sponsored by my employer, and I’ve been to the YMCA a couple of times…but that’s it. In fact, a co-worker from my previous department invited all of us former co-workers to dine together today, and I even joined them for lunch, overeating on a fish sandwich and fries.

My goal, then, for today, was pretty much just to make sure I didn’t do my worst ever.

The results aren’t in yet, but judging from the big clock I glanced at as I came down to the finish line, my time was somewhere in the middle compared to previous years. I’ll let you know when the results are published.

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Today is Halloween!

Owen and Isla dressed as a Clone Trooper and a Teletubby, respectively. Here they are:

This is a somewhat staged photo, as Isla did not ride a scooter around the neighborhood, despite the fact that Po, her character, is often depicted with a scooter. Also, Owen kept the mask up on top of his head for most of the festivities.

Here’s a picture of them on their way to trick-or-treat:

Owen is using his Star Wars pillowcase for treats, and Isla is using a plastic jack-o-lantern.

This is Owen’s second year as a Star Wars character, having dressed up last fall as a Jedi. I’m hoping this is his last foray into Star Wars Halloween costumes, as I’d like to see him diversify a little.

First Jennifer took the kids around the block, then I took them around two more blocks. I brought them home, and Owen declared he wanted to go out some more. Jennifer said, “Well that’s good, because your cousins are coming over to go trick-or-treating with you.” So, we waited around for a few minutes, and then their cousins showed up. The two-year olds stayed inside, while Owen and I went out with Jay and Lyric.

There are some rather intense Halloween celebrants in our neighborhood, including one house with a cauldron of dry ice and adults in full, scary costumes. There was another one with a gigantic blow-up gothic carriage, grotesque pumpkins, and a guy in a joker outfit running around down the street scarring people. Another home featured a cemetary with people acting real creepy. Isla was too scared to even go up to one house. And I had to coax Owen into approaching another. One of the last homes we walked up to had a “Vote Yes” (regarding the marriage amendment) sign in the yard. I thought that was a little too scary for the kids, but Owen’s cousin wanted to give it a try. Alas, their gate was locked. Jay said, “Well, if you had a ‘Vote Yes’ sign in your yard, would you show your face?”

Monday, 29 October 2013

 Here’s some funny stuff I gotta share with you-

Bill Maher making fun of Mitt Romney certainly isn’t news-worthy, but here’s a clip of his writers lifting a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece Shadow of a Doubt, and putting a hilarious spin on it…

Also, this made me laugh:

Also, remember a few days ago, when I lamented the indefinite postponing of the best comedy currently on TV? Well, I’ve been checking online every few days to see if there is a change in Community’s prognosis. And, while I regret to report that there is not, the great news is that I’ve discovered that, somehow, I never got around to watching the last three episodes of last season. Oh man, how great is that? It’s like digging in your couch, looking for that quarter you dropped, and finding three quarters! And that would be truly awesome, because I’m trying to fins double the amount of money this year that I found last year. (And I’m not doing so good this month – unless something changes in the final 48 hours of October, this month will have the smallest haul of any month.)
Tuesday, 30 October 2013

Okay, two small milestones to celebrate today:

First, I finished reading the book The Piano Lesson today. My class was assigned to read this play by today. I’m not gonna waste anymore of my life than the 90 minutes I already squandered in class talking about the book. The contents of the book are (I assure you) irrelevant.

Far more interesting than the “story” of the book is the fact that it has become the 67th book I’ve read so far this year. This ties the record for second-most-books I’ve read in a year. The last time I read exactly 67 books in a year was 1999. The only time I ever beat that record was the very next year; I read 71 books in 2000.

Of course, with 1/6 of the year still to come, there’s the very real chance that I will break my record for most books read in a year. In fact, I have a book sitting on my desk that I’ll need to read for class next week, and I’m listening to a book on CD during my commute to work, so those are two books I will definitely add to my list. I will post here once I’ve shattered the 12-year old record.

Second…

Take a look at the chandelier that was dangling from our dining room ceiling when we moved in:

Yes – look upon it…if you dare! Isn’t that the ugliest chandelier you’ve ever seen?
Let me answer that question for you: Yes. It is the ugliest chandelier you’ve ever seen. (Okay, there’s the slight exception of chandeliers that a purposely made to be ugly – like the ones you probably see in chambers of horror; but this is the ugliest chandelier that wasn’t intended to be ugly.)

It’s definitely the ugliest chandelier I’ve ever seen. And I would know. When we first toured the house with a realtor last year, I immediately thought, “Well, that thing is a frightening abomination against all that is pure. I’m gonna tell the owner to knock ten thousand off the asking price just to recoup the cost of visual therapy I’m gonna need for the rest of my life now.”

Indeed, over the past 14 months, everytime I’ve been at other people’s homes, I’ve taken ntoe of their chandeliers and, everytime, I’ve thought, “Wow. I’m so jealous of their light fixture. I wonder if they’d notice if I stole it? How do I distract them?”

I’ve hated this chandelier so much, loathed it will such invective, that I had considered removing it the day we moved in and replacing it with nothing. But my wife was all like, “That’s stupid. We need light in the dining room.” Jeez. I’ve even yelled at other family members for turning it on when I’m in the living room. It’s true – if I’m sitting in the living room, and someone turns on that light, the mishapen bulbs blind me with flashbulb-like intensity. On occassion, I’ve had to place a pillow over my face while the light was on. It’s truly hideous, and all who had a hand in designing it, selecting it for this home, and installing it, should be lobotomized for crimes against morality.

Anyway, I bring this up now because we bought a new chandelier at apprimately 6:00 this evening. By 7:00, we had euthanized the monstrosity you see above and replaced it with the newer, less offensive model.

The old chandelier is now for sale on Craig’s List. If you’d like to buy it, I’m sure it would make a lovely addition to your dungeon.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

 Last night, Owen fell off his bed (while jumping, not while sleeping) and fractured his arm. A few members of the staff at the ER referenced the “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” song. So, today, he’s got a cast on.

If you recall from my last post, I was at a reading event in Stillwater last night. After the reading, several of us went out for drinks and appatizers. While there, Jennifer called to tell me what happened, so I left promptly and met them at the ER.

Owen was a bit nervous upon first arriving at the hospital, but the intake nurse was very calm and understanding. After we were taken to an exam room, Owen was very happy to find out he would be able to watch Star Wars: The Worst Episode while he waited for drugs to kick in and for the x-rays to process.

After the doctor returned and said there was a fracture near his wrist (in his right arm), I left with Isla. She had no intention of going to sleep. About 20 minutes later, Jennifer and Owen arrived home. Thanks to the pain-killers, Owen drifted off to sleep within minutes.

Today Isla tried getting Owen to jump on the bed with her again, but he was having no part in it.

Sunday, 28 October 2012

The convalescing Owen makes a guest blog post:

Eensy. Crazy. Weirdo.

Owen has a comma at the end of the ‘N.’ I said ‘N.’ Not ‘end.’

I am a stinker. Um…Hm…Um…Ha ha ha ha. I don’t know what to say. Weird.

Um…Isla has a play room. I have a room! Put an exclamation mark.

Um…I like school. I like recess. Is it math time? Um…Owen has a marble works. Hm…I’m a weirdo. Who are you sending this to?

I said, “Oh.”

After “to,” there’s supposed to be an “oh” up there.

That was a total mistake.

But it wasn’t my mistake.

I have a cast. Um…I fell. Off the bed. And went to the hospital. I’m mean Children’s Hospital. And I watched Star Wars at the hospital. And, at the hospital, they had to squirt some drugs in my nose, and it was weird. Period.

I will have this cast on for a month. It is very hard to write. This is hilarious. What time is it? It’s 9:40.

Um, no, I’m not all done.

There’s still one more word I wanna say. Are you ready to hear it?

All right, I’m done.