Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Last night, we finished watching Pete’s Dragon. I’d seen it before, and so had Jennifer, but we wanted to show it to Owen. We’ve rewatched a few films with him over the past month and a half. They’ve all held up pretty well: The Wizard of Oz, The Princess Bride, Babe, and Monsters, Inc. are all still awesome. The Muppet Movie and Popeye were both still decent.

Pete’s Dragon, however…not so much. We shut it off on Sunday since it was getting late and the movie didn’t seem to be headed towards an end any time soon. Last night, Jennifer didn’t even feel like watching the rest of it (I didn’t, either, but I wanted to watch it with Owen).

Anyway, when the movie finally finished up, I was just about to hit stop on the DVD player, when Jennifer called me into the other room to help with Isla. About two minutes later, I hear belly-laughing from Owen – he’s cracking up so much he can hardly talk. I went back into the living room to find that he’s so excited by what he’s watching that he’s actually gotten up from his chair and stood closer to the TV.

“Look Daddy! Look!” he kept cracking up. He even turned my head for me so as to make sure I was looking.

So, I guess the DVD has some extras on it and, normally, for such a mediocre film, I wouldn’t bother watching any extras, but since I left the DVD player on, it must’ve automatically started playing the extras. Specifically, a Donald Duck short film from the 1940s.

I don’t think Owen had ever heard Donald talk before, but every time he did, Owen laughed some more, and looked at me as if to say: “Can you believe this guy’s voice!”  When it was over, he even begged to watch it again and wanted to show his mama.

Today, I found it at YouTube. I think it was included on the Pete’s Dragon DVD because it also features a lighthouse. I think it’s safe to say that Owen felt this Donald Duck short was better than 2+ hours of Pete’s Dragon. It is:

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Today, for the second time in a row, it took me an hour to get home from work. This is just unacceptable. Traffic drives me insane, especially since I don’t like driving anyways.

Yesterday, I couldn’t figure out the source of the traffic, so I assume it was just incompetant drivers. I even took an early exit on my way home in an attempt to dodge the congestion, only to find an accident on the side street. Everyone always has to galk at those things, while I pride myself in not gawking at all – in fact, I’ve even honked at the car in front of me if that person is slowing down to galk.

Here’s a tip: don’t be the cause of other accidents by slowing down to rubberneck at existing accidents. Just keep it flowing smoothly, please. Yes, I know people are curious to see if the victims are someone they know, but if you feel that it might be someone you know, then either pull over and inspect from the safety of the shoulder, or just get home as quick as you can and call your friends to see if they’re okay.

Today, at least, the traffic was partially caused by the weather. Man, there was a lot of water on the road.

My plan is to leave work earlier tomorrow to get a headstart on most of these morons.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Today, the US Senate failed to repealthe militray’s “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” policy.

Why did they fail? Well, it turns out they needed 60 votes to get rid of this policy, but they were four short. Surprisingly, every Republican voted against the bill, which has got to be the first time (in a long time, at least), that Republicans have stopped a defense appropriations bill.  See, every year, congress authorizes millitary spending for the next year but, oddly, Repulbicans suddenly didn’t feel like giving the armed forces $726 billion. That’s funny. I thought most Republicans supported the military. Oh well, I guess they figure it’s better to withhold $726 billion to the men and women serving in our military than to allow gays to serve openly.

Most disappointing is Senator John McCain. He claims that the Democrats were just slipping in the repeal of this policy to cater to their base. Oh man, that’s so terrible that elected officials were acting in the way they thought their constituents would want them to act. Shame on you, Democrats!

If you want to see an elected official who doesn’t care what the American thinks, check out McCain’s gentle slide into craziness:

In this interview, me thinks McCain doth protest too much.

How could you vote against this, McCain? I thought you were a level headed, fair-handed politician (at least, as far as politicians go). After all, you picked a female running mate during your bid for the presidency. And, back in 2004, you voted for a college dropout.

McCain, according to this article, said that it would be premature to vote to repeal the policy until the results of a study (studying the effects of ending the policy) is completed. Oh man, that’s so reasonable. Where was McCain back in the ’60s? You know, the 1860s…it sure would’ve been nice to have his logic around when congresswas thinking of ending slavery: “I don’t think we should end ownership of humans until a study regarding the effects of ending slavery is completed.” Makes perfect sense to me.

So then I got to thinking, what kind of rude, insensitive, homophobic people in the military could possibly want gays to keep quiet? Christians!

Yes, Christians.

I therefore propose a solution, in the interests of fairness: Congress should initiate a “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” policy regarding Christianity. Because, see, if you want to believe that someone you’ve never seen or heard is all-powerful, created humans 6,000 years ago, loves foreskins, produced a crazy book full of contradictions, absurdities and appalling acts of violence and that he then got a chick named Mary pregnant with his son who was already alive, and that that guy came back, zombie-style, and now heads up heaven and wants us all to worship him…that’s fine with me.

Just don’t tell me about it.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Today was Isla’s baby shower.

According to the invitation, though, it was really a “welcome the babies party,” which must, in some way, differ slightly from a shower. The party was also for Isla’s cousin Asa. He was born eight days after Isla, so he still needed to be welcomed, too.

Invitees were told they didn’t have to bring gifts, and some people did not. But some people did bring gifts, especially people who hadn’t seen the babies before. A few awesome gifts: diapers! Cash! Gift cards!  

Soon after we arrived, my father-in-law informed me that there was beer in the basement fridge. He quickly followed this up by stating that it was Lenie’s. See, he usually has MGD in a can, so bottled Leinie’s was a nice treat. I came with two six-packs, too.

There was a bonfire in the evening and, man, kids LOVE bonfires. Owen just can’t stay away from them. I think it’s good that the kids had some safe entertainment in the evening. Don’t worry, a few guys – with Leinie’s in hand – were keeping close watch.

 Sunday, 19 September 2010

I seem to have four kinds of nights:

1 – It takes about an hour, but I eventually fall asleep, and then I sleep pretty decently.

2 – I’m so tired/drunk that I fall asleep right away, but then I wake up 3 or 4 hours later and find it impossible to fall asleep

3 – I’m worried/nervous about something, so I go in and out of light sleep, getting about 4 hours of sleep over the 8 hour night

4 – I just never fall asleep

Last night was night #2. I feel asleep so quickly that I don’t even recall spending any amount of time in bed conscious. Isla was laying on my chest and, about two hours later, Jennifer woke me up and said Isla was probably in a deep enough sleep by now and I could set her in her little bed-within-a-bed. So I did, and then I again immediately fell asleep. But then I woke up two hours after that – I was hot, my heart was pounding, and I was inexplicably worried about some unknown thing. I got up and used the bathroom, poured myself some water, sat down in the living room and worked on a video for a while. 45 minutes after waking up, I laid back down in bed.

Less than ten minutes went by before I heard crying. I almost couldn’t believe it – who was crying at a time like this? I sat up and listened, then I heard the crying again; it was Owen. Jennifer was so deep asleep that she wasn’t even stirring, so I got up and went into Owen’s room. I asked him what the problem was, and he said he’d been lying there for a long time and couldn’t get to sleep. So I laid down in bed with him. I was cold, so I got right under the blankets.

After about twenty minutes, I got up and left the room. This morning, Owen told me that he woke back up from the sound of me leaving his room, but that he fell back to sleep soon after.

Poor kid, he has the same sleep problems that I do.

 Monday, 20 September 2010

Tonight, I decided to go to sleep early. I offered to bring Isla with me to bed, so that Jennifer could spend some quality time with her best friend (her laptop). I carried Isla into the bedroom very gently. When I got into the bedroom, I noticed my pillow was in an odd place. (I’m not sure who moves my pillow during the course of the day, but it looks like the handiwork of a five year old.) Ever so carefully, I moved the pillow back into place with my deft toe skills. Then I real slowly sat down in bed, brought my legs up, turned, and laid down. Isla didn’t stir at all; she stayed right on my chest breathing deeply. I reached up to my nightstand, which is an awkward task when lying on one’s back, and grabbed my lip balm. Even while balancing a baby on my chest, I still managed to apply the lip balm. I then drew up the blanket and set it just right on both of us. A few moments later, I remembered that I hadn’t turned on my alarm clock, so I again reached up to the clock and, using thumb and index finger, turned on the clock. While doing that, one of my other fingers accidentally hit that stupid button that turns on the radio for 59 minutes. Suddenly the room was filled with loud, blaring music and I quickly tried to turn it off, but there’s no off button for that function. I tried to lower the volume, but instead I just tuned the radio to a bunch of noisy static. Of course, Isla woke up and she was up for most of the next hour.

I absolutely, positively, completely hate combination products. I don’t want a camera on my phone, a scanner in my printer, or a clock on my microwave. At some point during my lifetime, manufacturers came up with the lousy idea of shoving as many features into a product as possible. The outcome nearly always sucks. If I want to take a picture, I’ll use a quality camera. If I want to scan something into my computer, I’ll use a good scanner. And when I purchase an alarm clock, that’s all I want it to do: track the time until I need to wake up, then make a noise.

That “59 minutes of music if you push this” button has been on nearly every alarm clock I’ve ever owned and, like car alarms, it’s never served any purpose. It’s just something that annoys me every once in a while and that I continually wish didn’t exist. And here’s the real kicker: I only ever accidentally push that button when I’m trying to be quiet. Because, see, if Jennifer and I are going to bed at the same time, or if I’m going to bed by myself, then I can have the light on and I can be as loud as I want in getting ready for bed. But when I try to quietly sneak into bed after Jennifer’s gone to sleep, or when I’m holding a slumbering baby, then – only then – I can not see what I’m doing…and I hit that stupid button.

Soon, possibly tomorrow evening, I’m gonna try to deactivate that option on my alarm clock. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

I’m reading the book Human. It’s edited by Robert Winston and Don Wilson. It’s one of those Dorling Kindersley books that, instead of containing the usual linear text, has lots of pictures with captions that all relate to one another via a larger-font paragraph in the top left of each page. This book tries to bring in the whole of the human experience: Its 500+ pages spend some time discussing the origins of humans, all the major body systems, organs, and senses of the human body, and all the cultures around the world.

The chapter I’m in right now is called “Life Cycle.” This chapter goes through many of the traditions and rituals that humans experience during their lifetimes, as well as the changes their bodies go through. Early in the chapter, the book details various birth rituals. Since there’s a newborn in our home, I’ve been particularly interested in this section. Specifically, I’ve been trying to see if any of the birth rituals aren’t totally insane.

Here’s what the Wodaabe people of West Africa do: “First a goat is sacrificed in honor of the new life. Then the heads of the baby and mother are shaved, an act that is believed to strengthen the bond between them…In the evening of the ceremony, the baby is named by a village elder. Once the baby is named, the parents are not allowed to speak his or her name in case evil spirits hear it.”

Here’s another dozy: “A Muslim baby is often introduce to the religion within hours of being born. An elder of the Muslim community whispers the azaan, the call to prayer, into the child’s right ear and the Islamic creed into the left. This is done to ensure that the very first thing a newborn childe hears is the name of God. Often, the elder places a small piece of chewed date into the child’s mouth.”

Or how about this one: In the Hindu Chudakarana ceremony, the baby’s head is shaved. “After the hair is shaved off, it is mixed with cow dung and burned or thrown into a river.”

And from Russia: “It is a traditional Russian belief that the body should be immersed regularly in very cold water….Babies as young as a few months old are dipped into icy waters by their parents.” There’s an accompanying picture showing a Dad holding his baby, full submerged, in cold water.

From the crazy department: “The baby is laid on a cushion and held by a sponsor who has been chosen by his parents while the mohel cuts the foreskin with a double-edged knife. An empty seat is left next to the sponsor to allow room for the prophet Elijah….The baby is given a drop of wine.”  You can see why they’re god’s chosen people: only people who can delude themselves into thinking child-abuse is a fitting way to welcome a baby into the world could also delude themselves into thinking Moses’ ramblings have any real-life relevance.

Some, honestly, aren’t so bad: “In Nepal, a baby is marked with black soot in the center of the forehead as a protective sign to ward off evil.” Okay…so at least the baby isn’t harmed, but it’s a ritual based on a couple of false premises.

But the award for only-not-totally-stupid ritual goes to the folks of Northern Uganda: “Soon after birth and before being put to the mother’s breast, a drop of home-brewed millet or banana beer is placed in the baby’s mouth. Beer drinking is a communal event ….and is seen as a symbol of community life. The act of giving a child beer as its first drink reinforces the importance of the community to the child and the fact that the child is part of a wider group of people than its family alone. Whenever people are thought to be acting selfishly later in life, elders will remind them…’beer before milk,’ which means ‘remember others before yourself.’”

Not bad…but I think we’ll stick with passing out chocolate cigars.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Jennifer and I are trying to institute a don’t-go-out-to-eat policy lately. We like going out to eat but, let’s face it, it really eats into the budget. I didn’t think we were going to go out to eat that much in the first few weeks after Isla was born, but even then we still did. We ate a Ruby Tuesday one afternoon (as previously discussed) one day. Another day, we breakfasted at Mickey’s. We feasted at Brine’s during a daytrip to Stillwater. On our anniversary, we ate at Olive Garden. One day, while with Owen on a playdate with his former preschoolmates, we bought some sandwiches as Cups ‘n’ Scoops.

Today I had lunch from Jimmy John’s. Hey, at least I didn’t pay for it: it was free with my attendance at a webinar at work during the noon hour. I think I was the only person to order the 7-grain bread. I’m not sure if I think the 7-grain option is a better tasting bread than their standard bread, but it agrees with my digestive tract a lot more.

It’s funny how you can decide not to go out to eat, yet still get restaurant food so often: my mom took us out to eat for our anniversary, and some friends that stopped by to see Isla couple of weeks ago gave us a gift card to Jimmy John’s. During last week’s picnic with my group at work, I was treated to Holy Land.

I think, instead of just making it our goal to not eat out, we should make it our goal to eat out as often as possible without having to pay for it.

Monday, 13 September 2010

As part of my don’t-work-on-Mondays policy that I instituted in late July, I took the day off of work today.

Okay, really I took the day off of work since it’s my son’s first day of Kindergarten.

I think it went well. We were allowed to go into the classroom early, so that Owen could get used to it a little bit before the other students arrived. We put Owen’s backpack on the hook where his name was, and he put on the name tag provided. Inside, the teacher had set up an easel with all the kids’ names on it and she asked Owen to circle his name. He found his name quickly and, choosing the pink marker, circled his name.

We spent a little bit of time looking around the classroom; we found Owen’s name at one table, and at another we found a puzzle for Owen to play with while we waited.

The other kids came in quick, most of them had one or more parents with them. One little girl was dropped off by her older brother (he looked like he was starting 4^th or 5^th grade, and he was not happy to have to show his little sister to her new class). One mom was unabashedly crying. Another mom showed up with her fancy-schmancy camera and took pictures of her son’s first day.

About ten minutes later, the teacher rang the windchime hanging in her room and told the students to come sit on the floor next to her. Seeing Owen, she told him he could come sit right next to her. Cautiously, he did. And we slipped out.

I hope he likes Kindergarten. I did. So did my wife. I think, in retrospect, it was the best year of compulsory schooling I ever had. And the most important.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Oh. My. God.

Today , finally, felt like being back in the old routine. I’m at work, Owen’s at day two of Kindergarten, and Jennifer is taking care of Isla. The fun day at work last week (when there was a picnic) is over, and after going to work on three of the last 48 days, I now have no plans for any vacations. At all. I checked with my supervisor, however, and I do have 11 vacation days left, so if the mood hits me… (On the other hand, it might be smart to carry some of those days over to next year when I begin taking classes again.)

In other news: my worker sent me THIS LINK.

I’ve never seen a trailer for a book…have you? I thought trailers were just for movies and TV shows. Hm. This is a new twist in the world of advertising. And, apparently it’s effective, because after watching the trailer, I immediately surfed over to the library’s website and put the book on hold. As the site says, if the book is half as good as the trailer, it’ll be worth a read.

In other news: I received THIS BOOK in the mail today. Signed by the author, no less. I gotta say, I could really get used to authors and publishing companies sending me free copies of their books; “What, you mean it’s free as long as I write a critique of it? Uh…okay…since I’d probably write a critique of it anyway, you might as well send me a free copy.”

Yeah, so, anyways, I’ll put a link to my review once that’s online.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

I got a call from my sister today. She says she won’t be able to make Isla’s baby shower (technically called a “welcoming the babies party” by the party planners) this weekend. She has to work most Saturdays, so her news was not terribly surprising. Another friend of ours sent an email saying they’re gonna be out of town this weekend, so they can’t make the party either. Again, no problems…it just gives me flashbacks to Owen’s baby shower. Journey with me back in time real quick here:

So, in 2005, when Owen was 5 weeks old, our friends, Andy and Bobbi, hosted a baby shower for Owen. I had been looking forward to the shower for weeks, hoping it would be a fun day that would lift Jennifer’s (and my) spirits and be an all-around fun day of being with friends. Andy and Bobbi, to their credit, cleaned their already beautiful house up even more. With help from my wife’s sister Kara, they decorated marvelously – even putting up signs down the block directing traffic. Our friend Laura, meanwhile, make the cake from scratch; a cake that, hands down, was one of the most creative a tasty cakes I’ve ever enjoyed.

But guess what? No one came.

Well, not exactly no one, of course. But close. Besides Andy, Bobbi, Kara, and Laura (the party planners), and their kids and spouses, the party was attended by our mom’s, our sister-in-law Tina, and two friends. One of those friends was actually the mom of my friend Jamin (who didn’t show up), and another friend was someone we hadn’t spoken to in years, but who had just happened to meet up with Bobbi at a recent Witness meeting.

I knew some people wouldn’t be there: my father-in-law and brother-in-law were already planning on attending the family shower one week later, so they probably saw no reason to come to both showers. My sister, as always, was working. My friend Nick had just gotten married and was still on his honeymoon. Other people didn’t bother to say they wouldn’t be showing up, but I found out why later: Jamin, unbeknownst to me, was off getting married. My friend Rhett had just broken his leg, and was immobilized. Meanwhile, Bobbi’s mom “Florida” (who had been invited), didn’t feel like showing up, but did feel like calling to see how the party was going. When her daughter mentioned that my mom-in-law Debbie was there, Florida said: “Oh, if I would’ve known Debbie was going to be there, I would’ve come.” Thanks Florida. That meant a lot to Jennifer and me.

At the end of the day, as we piled our cranky baby and gifts into the car and drove away, Jennifer said: “Well that was my worst nightmare come true.”

I think she was exaggerating, because it was nice of our friends to host that party, even though (almost) no one came; but I understood her meaning.

Enough whining. I hope we’ve fixed what went wrong last time: there’s no need to have a separate party for friends and family, for one thing. For another thing, this party is for my sister-in-law’s new baby, too, so that might maximize the attendance.