Thursday, 04 November 2010

Today I tried the Maple Grove library’s drive-up book drop for the first time. In the past, I have always gotten out of my car and went in to return my items, but today I had no reason to go in, so I decided to try the book drop. Unfortunately, the woman in the minivan ahead of me was returning about 5,000 items, which she had to insert into the drop one at a time. She kept reaching around in her vehicle, picking up one thing at a time.

Then I went to Michaels, which never fails to put me in a bad mood. I had to return a tie-dying kit we bought the other day. There was no signage for where to make a return, so I asked this young employee (who was busy organizing stuff on a rack and didn’t bother to look at me) where I could return something. She replied, but she mumbled so much that I couldn’t understand here. Oh – and she also started walking away mid-sentence. She went behind a cash register, so I assumed for a moment that she was going to help me, but instead she just yelled out: “I can help who ever’s next!”

I just went into a different line, where I was told the wait would be long. So then  I went into a different line. When I got to the front of that line, the cashier told me she’d have to get a manager to help us. And guess what? The manager turned out to be the mumbling, back-turning girl I had first tried talking to!

Man, I hate that store.

Friday, 05 November 2010

Let’s first talk about what went wrong during today’s 6K race.

First, I once again was unable to determine when, exactly, the race began. I was standing there, near the starting line, listening as best as I could. But the starting point is near a highway, and the PA system they use was (once again) inadequate. I wanted to stand closer to the announcer, but it wouldn’t be right for me to stand too close to the front, as I would just get trampled by the ‘real’ runners. So…I started my stopwatch and began running as soon as I could, but I knew I’d already lost some time.

Second, we were instructed to travel counterclockwise around the path. For the last month, I had been running clockwise around it. I know, I know, this shouldn’t make that much of a difference, but it does. See, I knew where all the markers were, and I knew how to pace myself (e.g. “Don’t stop running until I’ve crossed the bridge”). But with everything the opposite way, I couldn’t keep track of my pacing as well.

Alas, I think both of these things made me do better. Since I was worried I had lost several seconds at the start, and since I didn’t know when I could slow down, I just kept on running. In fact, I kept passing people that I had been pacing off of – they would get winded and slow down, and I just kept going. It wasn’t until about 90% of the way around the path that I stopped running. My side hurt and so I took about 30 seconds to walk while pushing in my side. Then I ran again. Then I stopped running again, but this time only for about 20 seconds.

Then, I could see the finish line in view. I looked behind me to see no one closer than 50 feet. I looked in front of me and saw the clock: it was a good thing I hadn’t trusted my stopwatch, as I was several seconds off.

Running slowly and steadily, I was first passed by a tall man who suddenly had a burst of energy. “Oh well,” I thought, “I didn’t want anyone else to get in front of me, but I suppose I’ve done well enough.” Then a woman, about 50 years old by the looks of her, also passed me. She was followed closely on her heels by two more people – also several years older than me.

Somehow, for some reason, I decided to kick it into high gear. I didn’t want to be outrun by three older people in the final few seconds. So I ran. Fast. So fast I kept wondering how high off the ground I was launching myself. So fast that my heels were nearly hitting my butt with each kick back.

With about 5 seconds to go, I passed the three people. At the speed I was going, I nearly smashed into the tall guy. So I increased my speed even more, and, with one second to go, I stepped around that man, put myself directly in front of him, and reclaimed my position.

But since I was so concerned with pissing off four of my co-workers, I neglected to look at the clock.

No worries. One of the ladies who works in my department finished just after me. She said her time was 34:54. The official times won’t be published until sometime next week, but I must’ve finished in 34:40 (give or take 10 seconds), meaning I not only set a new personal best, but I beat my old record by over 80 seconds.

At the moment, I have no plans to beat this record next year.

Wednesday, 03 November 2010

Today I received my KQRS Prize Pack in the mail. You may recall that this was a gift for having my playlist selected last Sunday (if you don’t recall, click here). The Prize Pack included: a pen, two bumper stickers, two magnets, a can cooler, a key chain, a t-shirt, lip balm, and a certificate for a 6-foot party sub at Subway Sandwiches. Everything was emblazoned with the KQRS logo. The t-shirt was cool because it says “I rocked the radio.” Ha! Think of it: me! Rocking the radio. Who’d a thunk?

A couple of people asked me how I decided on the songs for the playlist. It was easy. I just thought up some musicians that I like and who actually get played on KQRS. Then I tried to remember which of their songs get played on that station, and I picked one of my favorites.

Here’s the playlist that the played last Sunday:

Beautiful Day, by U2 (Okay, so the station plays other U2 songs that I like a lot more, but I wanted to be sure to include songs from a variety of years, and this was the only song from this millennium.)

Come Together, by Aerosmith

Superstition, by Stevie Wonder

Southern Cross, by Crosby, Stills and Nash

The Immigrant Song, by Led Zeppelin

Loves Me Like a Rock, by Paul Simon

Renegade, by Styx (Okay, so I wouldn’t consider myself a Styx fan, primarily because I can’t think of any other songs that the do beside this one. But I do like this song.)

Watching the Wheels, by John Lennon (Hey – look at that – that makes two songs authored by Mr. Lennon. What can I say? I’m a fan.)

Here’s a brief clip that I recorded on Sunday. It features the final seconds of “Watching the Wheels,” followed by my name being said on the air:

MyTunes

Oh – and let me know if you want a KQRS beer can cooler. It’s on me.

Monday, 01 November 2010

6K Update:

Okay, so I ran the course again during my lunch break today, marking the ninth time I have done so in less than a month.

I am happy to report that I bested my personal record by approximately 24 seconds. This is good news. What’s even better is that, when I was within site of the finish line, I saw that I was still some two minutes under my best time, so I stopped running and took it easy. I walked for about a minute, then began running again. So, that’s good because, if I can do the same thing on Friday, then I will definitely beat my time.

My plan now, especially in view of having lost a day last week, is to run on Wednesday of this week. However, I don’t want to completely wear myself out, so on Wednesday I will only run to the 1K marker, then turn around and come back. This means I’ll only be running for about a third the normal distance.

If I can do that, I should be in good shape for Friday. Or rather, I’ll be in the best shape I can be in.

Tuesday, 02 November 2010

Today I completed three more in my endless queue of filmlets.

Here they are:

As a personal request, if you do watch them, please subscribe to my page (if you haven’t done so already). Also, feel free to “like” or “dislike” them using the icons shown below each video.

Now let me answer some questions about them:

Q. Why did I make them?

A. Well, I wasn’t going to. I thought the Watchtower Society’s other new brochure from this year, The Origin of Life, much more fascinating from a cult-indoctrination perspective. That’s why I hurriedly created this filmlet. However, as you can see from some of the comments there, a few people asked if I’d be making a similar documentary regarding the other brochure. Additionally, a friend of mine said that he’d been in contact with one of his Witness relatives, and that relative said the brochure Was Life Created bolstered his faith in creationism. Needless to say, I felt I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to point out some of the brochure’s flaws.

Q. Fine, but then what took you so long? These brochures came out last summer, and you finished your other video back in July.

A. As noted here before, two major events (wedding ceremony + subsequent wedding video, and the birth of my daughter) both ensured I wouldn’t finish any personal projects for quite some time. Nevertheless, though the brochures were released  at conventions in the United States during May-September of this year, they are still being released worldwide. Most Asian and south-of-the-Equator nations, for example, still won’t see the brochures for months. So the videos are still very timely.

Q. Okay, but why did you make only one video of the Origin of Life brochure, but three videos discussing Was Life Created?

A. That’s a great question, and I’m glad you asked. you might notice that the Origin of Life video is 9 minutes and 35 seconds long. The three Was Life Created videos, on the other hand, are each around three minutes long. So, the total content is still (nearly) the same.

Q. That doesn’t answer my question.

A. Oh – right, I wasn’t finished. See, here’s something else I realized: the average YouTube user has a very short attention span. Go figure, right? Take a look at my YouTube home page, and you’ll see that the video that has received the most views is this one: Inside the Watchtower Society’s World Headquarters. It’s received thousands of more views than any other videos on my page. It was the most hastily made video on there; it has the lowest production quality; and, in my opinion, it’s the most boring one. So why so many views? It’s gotta be the length. Every other video I’ve uploaded there is between 9 and 10 minutes. So, methinks people get bored. So, I’m trying something new here: brevity! I’m gonna make the prediction that these three videos will, in time, become the three most viewed videos on my page.

Q. Any more Watchtower-related videos coming down the pipeline?

A. I do have another one in the works; but I’ve been struggling with it for several months now. I may just scrap it. Time will tell.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

So, today we returned to the Harriet Alexander Nature Center for the second time in as many weeks. This time, we attended a Halloween party. We brought Owen’s cousin Lyric, too.

First there was a hay ride, which culminated in a treasure find of chocolate coins. Then we went into the nature center. This one professor from the U of M was there, and he had with him a collection of really large insects. There was a scorpion, too. And a millipede. The millipede was about 1/2 an inch in diameter and 4 – 5 inches long. I had to point the millipede out to Owen, because he has asked me which animal has the most legs, and I think I am correct in telling him that it’s a millipede. The sign next to the millipede says they can have between 200 and 240 legs. I think that’s great that a class of animals can have a variance of 40 legs. All of us boring mammals just have four limbs. BORING!

There was one man working there, and when he saw Owen, he said, “I bet I know who you are, except you’re missing a mustache!” Owen just kind of stared at him like he was an idiot (Owen is good at giving people that look – especially since he inherited it from both parents). When Owen didn’t respond, he said, “You’re Groucho Marx, right!”

Um…no…sorry to say, but Owen didn’t ask to dress as someone from his great-grandparents’ generation.

Let’s take a look at Groucho, shall we?

Owen was not only lacking a mustache, he was also lacking a cigar. Owen’s actual costume was Inspector Gadget, which should’ve differentiated him from Groucho in that he had a top hat, a trench coat, a hand coming out of his hat, a magnifying glass, and a wristwatch telephone.

See? Like Gadget:

Sunday, 31 October 2010

Happy Halloween!

Today, we drove to my in-laws’ house, had dinner, then dressed our son once again in Gadget attire and Isla in a dog costume (because she was Gadget’s dog Brain), then went trick-or-treating in the neighborhood with Owen’s two cousins.

Let me tell you, neighborhood trick-or-treating beats the socks off of mall trick-or-treating. Well, actually, if you have real little kids (as we did have in years past), then the malls are nice as they afford a moderate temperature and a well-lit area.

But neighbors give out way more candy – and better quality, too. And no lousy pedicure coupons! One neighbor gave Owen an entire pack of Starbursts and an 18-inch long Pixie Stick. Another lady gave out bags of goodies featuring rulers, a coloring book, and pencils. I twice had to reach into Owen’s pail and empty out some of the contents into my pockets so that he had more room for more treats.

Later, when we returned home to our apartment complex, Owen and I roamed the halls in search of more candy. We got another decent hall, especially from one woman who invited us in, gave Owen a gift bag, and told him to fill it with the candy in her bowl. Sweet.

Friday, 29 October 2010

Three things:

First, I heard this story on the radio this morning: This woman was kicked out of her congregation for appearing in an erectile dysfunction commercial. She won’t say which religion she belongs to, but she uses the term “disfellowshipped” and “congregation,” so I’m gonna take the wild guess that she is (was) a Jehovah’s Witness. I guess starring in an E.D. commercial must be a sin, since it violates that one scripture at…um…wait…where is it? Huh. I just had it here. Hmm. Can’t seem to find it. The commercial is hilarious by the way – make sure you watch it.

Second, I received a call from KQRS this morning. That’s a radio station here in my metro area. They have this page on their site where you can enter your own playlist, and if they choose it, they’ll play your songs and send you a prize package. So, if you feel like tuning in to 92.5 FM on Sunday at noon, you’ll get to hear a few songs that they always play, but that I picked. They’ll probably say my name. Then you can think to yourself: “Hey, I didn’t know James likes this song. Man, he’s such a loser.”

Third, as of today (technically, this weekend, but weekends don’t count), I’ve been employed at my current job for six years, seven months, and 12 days. You might think that’s a pretty lame milestone, but it happens to be one day longer than my tenure at Lenscrafters. I was employed there (from start date, to my day of work), for six years, seven months, and 11 days. So, as of today, my current employer is also my longest employer.

Of course, I’ve already put in more time at my current job than at Lenscrafters, since I was a part-time employee for the first three years and the sixth. I also took off three weeks to go work in New York back in 1994, but I also took off three weeks from my current job when Owen was born and, most recently, six weeks. Also, this already was the longest time I’d been working at one location, since I worked at Lenscrafters Mall of America location for four years, three months before transferring to their Burnsville spot (and then there was the week I worked in Madison, Wisconsin). Still, I think this is a notable milestone.

Congratulations to me.