Tuesday, 02 August 2011

The folks at Prometheus Books sent me the book The End of Christianity, edited by John Loftus. They sent it to me for free, on the condition that I write a review of it.

It’s a decent book. Certainly not great. Not even good, in fact. But it’s not horrible and I intend to finish it. I’m currently about 2/3 of the way through, and I wanted to write about a curious analogy I read on pages 207-217. Those pages are from chapter 8, and the author of that chapter, Dr. Matt McCormick, argues that if anyone accepts Jesus’ resurrection based on the evidence provided in the gospels, then they should also accept that there really were witches in Salem during the late 17th century.

The doctor points out that 150 people were accused of witchcraft in Salem. Using several passive sentences, he notes that the folks in Salem set up a court, conducted investigations, and gathered evidence. People confessed. Community members transcribed the proceedings and accompanied their texts with affidavits, original court documents, and interviews.

Unlike the gospels, this was all documented in real-time (not decades later) by eyewitnesses (not people like Mark, Luke, and Paul who – even if they were the real authors – weren’t present). Community members recorded their sworn statements of witnessing acts of sorcery. Of course, we might claim that everyone was lying, but they had so much to lose. Some of these people provided statements against their spouses, children, parents, and neighbors. “Accusing a friend or wife of being a witch would very likely have the horrible outcome of getting them executed,” the doctor says on page 208.

He claims that if all the documentation from Salem’s witchcraft trials were gathered into one place, it would fill a truck.

The surviving evidence we have that Salem was full of witches far outweighs the evidence we have that Jesus was resurrected.

The doctor notes that if this line of reasoning is pointed out to a Christian, they’re likely to just respond that both the resurrection and the witchcraft in Salem were real events. I wonder if this is true. I can’t recall ever discussing the Salem event with my fellow Witnesses (when I was a Witness), but I wonder if they think their really were acts of sorcery back then. They might. They believe in demons, and they think things like Ouija boards, Ozzy Osbourne records, and the Smurfs have mystical Satanic powers.

The problem with accepting the Salem accounts at face-value, Dr. McCormick notes, is that there are many other tales of the supernatural that are also better documented than the resurrection. So, if people are willing to accept the Salem event as true, then they also need to accept the miracles of Judaism (such as the Hanukkah miracles), Hinduism, Mormonism, and Catholicism (these last two involve much more recent miraculous claims).

As I said, the book is not remarkable, but these few pages were the most intriguing of the bunch. Am I missing something, or is this a pretty damn good argument?

Wednesday, 03 August 2011

Today at work, I walked to the cafeteria to get some ice. While there, I found a dime sitting on the floor. Yes!

As I mentioned back on January 4th, I am keeping track of the money I find this year. One thing I was interested in determining was if I would be able to find enough money to equal minimum wage. Currently, minimum wage is set at $7.25. Well, as you’ve probably guessed by now, today I passed that milestone.

My total was one cent short since Monday. On that day, I also found a dime and my yearly total rang up to $7.24. Today’s dime, therefore, allows me to comfortably surpass that mark. In just over seven months, I found – just lying there for anyone to see – enough money to equal one hour of minimum wage work.

And my pay wasn’t even taxed.

Monday, 01 August 2011

Last week, I mentioned that I keep track of the singles that go to #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100. A friend asked me why bother since it’s almost all really bad music anyway.

Here’s the deal: Like films that win the Oscar for Best Picture, The Presidents, The Elements, and the Countries of the World, The #1 Songs is a finite, slowly changing list from which to cull all sorts of interesting facts and figures. More than that, it’s fascinating to see how songs and artists that I enjoy are doing on the charts. Of course, as another friend has repeatedly pointed out, going to #1 (or not) doesn’t have an inherent influence on the quality of the song. But, as a trivia buff, it’s fun to wonder why, what if, and how come: I lament Bush’s victory in the Presidential election of 2000, and Rear Window’s loss of Best Picture, but the stats and the accompanying trivia is fun.

Here, then, are a few bits of Hot 100 trivia that I think are pretty interesting (and I’m just listing these off the top of my head, so feel free to double-check):

-No woman has been on top of the charts more than Diana Ross: 12 times as a member of the Supremes, 5 times as a soloist, once with Lionel Richie, and once as a member of USA for Africa (total = 19).

-The biggest gap a musician ever had between #1 songs is nearly 25 years (March 1974-March 1999). The record belongs to Cher.

-Creedence Clearwater Revival holds the record for most #2 songs without ever attaining a #1 song (it happened to them 5 times).

-The Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” stayed at number one for …one week. Prince’s song “7,” meanwhile, only peaked at #7.

-As a writer, Barry Gibb had four #1 songs in a row in 1978.

-Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” is the shittiest ‘song’ to ever go to #1.

-The oldest person to have a #1 song was Louie Armstrong, in 1964. He was 62.

-Speaking of 1964, The Beatles dominated the charts that year. They scored six #1 hits (a record!). The song “A World Without Love,” by Peter Gordon also went to #1 that year. It was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, meaning those two men penned seven #1 hits in a single year. The Beatles’ song “I Want to Hold Your Hand” was succeeded at #1 by “She Loves You,” which was then succeeded at #1 by “Can’t Buy Me Love.” No other act has ever had three in a row like that. During the week of April 4th, The Beatles had the #1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 song. During the week of April 11th, they had 14 songs on the Hot 100. Their song “Twist and Shout” failed to become a #1 song. It was blocked from the top spot by another Beatles song.

-Lots of songs have gone to #1, then dropped down to #2 or 3 for a week or two, then jumped back up to #1, but the only song to go to #1, then drop all the way off the charts, then climb all the way back up to #1 is Chubby Checker’s “The Twist.”

-The shortest title for a #1 song is Britney Spear’s “3.” The longest title is so long I can’t even remember it, but it went to #1 in 1981, and the title begins with “Medley: Intro Venus…”

Since there have been several #1 songs that I do like, I will here make a chronological listing of my favorite #1 songs…

“That’ll Be the Day” Buddy Holly (1957)

Like so many artists here, Holly’s best songs did not make it to #1. This, in fact, was his only song that did. So even though it’s not my favorite Holly song, it’s the only one I can list here. And it’s not so bad.

“The Battle of New Orleans” Johnny Horton (1959)

“Mack the Knife” Bobby Darin (1959)

“Hit the Road Jack” Ray Charles (1961)

“Oh, Pretty Woman” Roy Orbison (1964)

“I Feel Fine” The Beatles (1964)

“Help!” The Beatles (1965)

“Yesterday” The Beatles (1965)

“The Sounds of Silence” Simon and Garfunkel (1966)

“Paint It, Black” The Rolling Stones (1966)

“Good Vibrations” The Beach Boys (1966)

It’s a tough call, but I gotta say this is the best song to ever go to #1.

“All You Need is Love” The Beatles (1967)

“The Dock of the Bay” Otis Redding (1968)

“Mrs. Robinson” Simon and Garfunkel (1968)

“Come Together/Something” The Beatles (1969)

These two songs were #1 at the same time (they formed the A- and B-sides to a record). I’m listing them both because they’re both awesome.

“Let It Be” The Beatles (1970)

“My Sweet Lord” George Harrison (1970)

This is a close contender for best #1 song ever. Like I said, tough call.

“Me and Bobby McGee” Janis Joplin (1971)

I like songs by women, too.

“I Feel the Earth Move” Carol King (1971)

See? Told ya.

“How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” The Bee Gees (1971)

“Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey” Paul and Linda McCartney (1971)

“American Pie” Don McLean (1972)

“Heart of Gold” Neil Young (1972)

“A Horse With No Name” America (1972)

“Superstition” Stevie Wonder (1973)

Another contender for best #1 song ever.

“Bennie and the Jets” Elton John (1974)

“Sundown” Gordon Lightfoot (1974)

“Whatever Get You Through the Night” John Lennon (1974)

“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” (1976) Paul Simon

Simon’s got 50 songs that are better than this…but this is the only one that went to #1.

“Sir Duke” Stevie Wonder (1977)

“What a Fool Believes” The Doobie Brothers (1979)

“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” Queen (1980)

Another Brick in the Wall” Pink Floyd (1980)

“It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” Billy Joel (1980)

“Another One Bites the Dust” Queen (1980)

…Geez, looks like 1980 was the best year ever for #1 songs.

“Starting Over” John Lennon (1980)

…See what I mean?

“Sledgehammer” Peter Gabriel (1986)

Another strong contender for best #1 ever.

“Higher Love” Steve Winwood (1986)

“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” U2 (1987)

Like Paul Simon, U2 has lots of songs that are better than this one, but hardly ever had a #1 hit.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” Billy Joel (1989)

“Praying for Time” George Michael (1990)

“Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” Elton John and George Michael (1992)

“Smooth” Santana and Rob Thomas (1999)

“Makes Me Wonder” Maroon 5 (2007)

“Viva la Vida” Coldplay (2008)

and, of course…

“Rolling in the Deep” Adele (2011)

Sunday, 31 July 2011

When Owen and I came back inside our apartment building this morning after taking out the garbage, we saw a pile of stuff sitting in the hallway. Someone had taped a sign on the wall that read FREE. Owen and I went into our apartment to get Jennifer, and the three of us dug through a bunch of items looking for things we might want.

Being as it is the last day of the month, the stuff was either left behind by someone who recently moved out or, more likely, was being chucked by a tenant who was in the process of moving.

Later in the day, when I took Owen out to a birthday party, there was more stuff sitting out. Jennifer looked out in the hallway again around dinner time, and there was even more stuff.

Things we did NOT take included a large stuffed bear from IKEA, a kids’ bookshelf, a TV/DVD combo, several books, candle-holders, a wooden balance, a coffee table, and assorted toys.

But more importantly, here are the things we did take…

Okay, so this picture isn’t that good. Actually, none of the pictures are that good because I took them at night using my wife’s iPhone, but I think you get the point. Here are three magazine bins from IKEA. We already own three of these, but we had wanted more, and there were just the perfect price. Also pictured is a relatively new, mint condition dictionary and about 200 sheets of printer paper.

Here’s a comforter for kids.

This is some doodle-pro thing for kids that helps teach them how to write the letters.

Here’s a totally empty red book. Should come in handy when I write my manifesto.

Speaking of manifesto, here’s the Karl Marx/Friedrich Engels classic, along with two other books that just looked fun to own. Especially at this price.

Here are some books for children, including the Caldecott-winning Blueberries for Sal, Leo the Late Bloomer, two books about mythology, and a Thomas the Tank Engine tale.

A lamp. Probably stolen from Pixar Animation Studios. This was the only item we took that needed any sort of repair. The lamp’s neck was not secured to the base very well. I took the base off and tightened up a nut. Viola! Good as new.

This little computer thingy is called a “Leapster,” and it came with four cartridges. Jennifer says they’re good for learnin’ kids good. It all came in a handy, hardy case, too.

Aww…how adorable. This is a book for us to read to Isla.

This is a 4H cookbook. And my right hand.

Owen absconded with this sand timer. He’s got a special place in his heart for sand timers, I think.

Jennifer says we already have a mini-tape recorder, but I don’t recall seeing it around lately and, if I remember right, it didn’t work well. I think it’s important to keep a small tape recorder with me so that I can record conversations and blackmail the shit out of people.

Hey, look! I did take at least one good picture. This is a huge puzzle in the shape of a t-rex. I ferried it into our apartment in a clandestine fashion and swiftly hid it up on a high shelf. My plan is to wrap it up and give it to Owen as a present when baby Jesus’ birthday comes around.

…Same thing with this. It’s a computer for kids. This is going to be the best (=cheapest) Christmas ever.

We unzipped this piece of luggage and out popped this topless dancer. So, we figured, hey, let’s bring it home. It’s a Victorinox Swiss Army Luggage, which must be a quality name brand, because when I researched it at THIS SITE all I could find was outrageously priced suitcases. Should be great for those times when we need to smuggle two or three toddlers out of the country (which we plan to do on January 20, 2013, when Michele Bachmann is sworn in as our Chief Executive).

Finally, we also took off with this La-Z-Boy rocking, reclining chair. As you can see, Isla has called shotgun.

Not pictured are a few other books that I have already misplaced (we are packing, after all), three other blankets, two or three toy cars, a box of 5 burnable CDs, a polished rock that Owen swiped, and one of those pinpression thingys.

All in all, a good haul. I hope this sort of thing happens every day for the rest of my life.

(“Score! Part One” is RIGHT HERE, by the way.)

Friday, 29 July 2011

Have you ever really played with Legos? I’m talking about a full-sensory experience; an immersion into the world of humanity’s greatest building materials. I know, it’s a tough question to answer. Allow me to show you what I mean, using my beautiful assistant as a model—

First, get into the bin of Legos:

Next, ensure that you’re comfortable. If your tongue is hanging out, that’s a good sign.

Then, just stretch out and enjoy the full-body comfort of sitting on a bed of Legos:

Dig:

And play:

And don’t let the fact that you only have six teeth stop you from eating these tasty bits of plastic. Legos…yum!

Finally, if some bigger, smarter, ‘parental’ adult tries to take you out of the bin for fear that you’re gonna choke on a brick, you sass off to them as if you freakin’ own these Legos.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

This evening, my son and I watched the Star Trek episode “The Terratin Incident.” The main plot of the episode features the crew shrinking in size and unsure how to correct the problem.

Why they are shrinking and how the solve the matter is not important here (though you can click the link above and spoil the crap out of the story for yourself, if you wish). What I will divulge, however, is that the crew initially are unsure if they are shrinking or if the ship, and everything in the ship, are enlarging. Their clothes, incidentally, are shrinking right along with them (since they’re also made of organic material), but their jewelery stays the same size; Nurse Chapel remarks that her arm band could now be used as a necklace.

There are a number of gaffes and missed opportunities in this episode, but the first one to strike me was this: How in the galaxy could the crew not realize that they are shrinking? I mean, think about it, if you wake up tomorrow and everything in your home is double the size it was the night before, would you wonder if your bed, walls, blankets, clocks, and everything else expanded? Or would you, rather, conclude that you had shrunk?

This whole scenario reminded me of a(n) (ex-)friend who used to raise all sorts of obscure questions, mostly just for laughs. On a couple of occasions, he asked: If everything – everything – double in size right now, would we notice?

My immediate answer the first time he posed this inquiry was, “of course!” I replied by saying, “Wouldn’t it be obvious that the sun was twice as big in the sky?” But then my friend would show me the level of complexity in his subtly simple question by responding, “No, it wouldn’t be obvious because, remember, EVERYTHING would double in size – thus the distance between Earth and the sun would also have doubled, and therefore you wouldn’t notice the sun’s increased diameter.”

This would then open up a volley of inquiries and retorts, every time my friend noting that I had forgot something.

But here’s the final answer: Yes, you would notice. I was right all along, I just failed at providing the reasons why. For one thing, doubling the distance between Earth and its star would create a noticeable drop off in gravitational pull – the earth’s rate of revolution would slow – a drop off that would not be counteracted by a doubling of the sun’s mass. Additionally, doubling the strength of gravity would be rather negligible compared to the doubling of the nuclear forces – atoms would have a tougher time forming molecules, and radioactivity would slow. More pedestrian, doubling the population of the city I live in would be immediately noticeable, even with a doubling of the city’s area.

In fact, I would add that my friend’s question does not even make sense, because it would be impossible for everything to double in size. As an example, let’s look at a very square place to live: Colorado.

Colorado has four sides: its north and south borders are approximately 378 miles long, and its east and west borders are approximately 276 miles long. This gives Colorado a land area of roughly 104,300 square miles.

Now, let’s do what my friend says and double the size of everything:

Now Colorado has north and south borders that are 756 miles long, and east and west borders that are 552 miles long. So far, so good, right? Except that now, Colorado’s land area is about 417,300 square miles – quadruple what it was before. Uh-oh.

Anyway, if you’re reading this Andy: Thanks for the great mental exercises.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Today is Isla’s birthday. She is one year old.

I took the day off work and, after stopping at a nearby park to take some pictures of Isla, we all drove to Como Zoo. The weather was hot and humid, just like it’s been for most of the month. We looked at a few animals; Isla pointed to a tortoise and called it a kitty. Later, we went into a kid’s play area, and she and Owen had fun playing in the water, cooling down after being in the heat.

We ran a few errands, during which time Isla slept, then quickly drove back home to prepare for Isla’s party. Her party was pretty much theme-less (since we don’t really know what she likes yet), but we decorated a little and ordered pizza for the family. Besides her parents and her brother, the guests included Isla’s two of grandparents and her great-grandma (the ones who think Isla’s birth is worthy of celebrating). In the future, I am sure we will have bigger celebrations for her but, for now, I liked keeping it understated and simple, just as her brother’s first birthday was.

Isla received some play dishes, a blue-eyed doll, clothes for the doll, a blanket for the doll, and a little toy car to ‘drive’ around in. She also had her first taste of dessert today. Like her father and her brother, she didn’t seem to think it was all that tasty.

In the evening, Owen and I drove over to Home Depot to pick up a 2×4 so that we could measure and mark Isla’s height on it. We have a similar 2×4 for Owen, and we’ve marked his height ever since he was one (and we retro-marked his birth and six-month heights). Comparing the two boards side by side reveals that Isla is consistently about an inch shorter than her brother.

Happy birthday to Isla!