The highlight of the day was our trip to Bay Street Bar and Grill. We dined there once before and decided to go again so that we could play bingo.
Every Saturday afternoon, Bay Street hosts ten games of bingo, at a dollar a piece. Jennifer and I decided we would just play one or two games, just to get the feel of it. Owen wanted to play, too, but the employee informed us that kids can’t play bingo; they can’t even blot their parent’s card. This is just another stupid law – as my wife pointed out: why is it okay for kids to play with a skill crane (or any other arcade game, for that matter)? Owen was disappointed, but Jennifer said that he could help her find the numbers on her card. Good god, I hope the feds don’t find out about that.
Turns out, Team Jennifer/Owen won the first game. She shouted out “Bingo,” in that loud, boisterous voice for which she is so well-known. She brought her card up to the counter for verification and returned moments later with nine dollars.
We decided we’d better play another round, ’cause it would be rude to win and leave.
I won round two, for a total of $10.
We then decided we had to play round three, again so that it didn’t look like we were just taking everyone’s money and running.
Despite Isla’s antics, we played a third round, which I again won, for a total of $11.
We played round four, just for good measure, and we were actually pleased that neither of us won.
All told, we scored thirty bucks. Of course, we spent $8 to play, but that still netted us $22. Our lunches – including tax and tip – cost us $19, so we left the restaurant with full bellies and $3 richer.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Look what I found on Craig’s List:
It’s an ad for a used refrigerator, obviously. But what struck me as odd was the phrase “10% off if you love Jesus or free delivery.” Never mind the crappy sentence structure, what gets me is that this person feels it’s okay to discriminate on the basis of religion. Had this been an offer for purchasing a car or renting a room, this would be illegal, but I couldn’t find anything in Craig’s List’s user policy that indicated religious discrimination in fridge sales was a violation of terms.
I wasn’t actually interested in buying the fridge (I just wanted to get an idea of what people were charging for them), but had I wanted to buy it, I would have proudly announced that I love Jesus.
In other asinine religious news, the House of Representatives voted last week to reaffirm “In God We Trust” as the national motto. Oh man, I’m so glad they did that. If there’s one thing Congress needs to do during a recession, with high unemployment, a tanking approval rate, nation-wide sit-ins, war, and environmental concerns, it’s take time out of their busy schedule to reaffirm something that no one’s even seriously contesting right now, anyway. I sure hope they reaffirm that our nation is called “The United States of America,” cause, boy, I’m sure worried that the name isn’t ‘firm’ enough right now.
Today, a co-worker asked me if Jennifer and I were planning on having a third child. I don’t think that sort of question is rude, but it’s my understanding that many people do think it’s rude, so while I refrain from asking others, I don’t mind it being asked of me.
I gotta say, though, I think it’s funny to ask of someone who has a 15 month old child at home. To me, it’s too soon for another kid (remember: there are over five years between kids #1 and 2). Before I could concoct any sort of response, though, the co-worker added: “I suppose you already have one of each.”
Presuming she was referring to my children’s gender, she is correct: I do have one of each.
So now I am left to wonder: are third children more prevalent in families with two children of the same gender? My parents, for example, had ‘one of each,’ and then stopped there. This might be due more to their complete disgust for one another rather than due to their kids’ genders, though. My wife’s parents, on the other hand, had ‘one of each’ and then proceeded to go ahead and have two more anyway. I have two sets of uncles and aunts who went on to have more than two kids after having the complete set as well.
I was trying to think about the children of some of my peers, but family sizes have shrunk to the point that it’s tough to tell what people are planning. Maybe their lives are too busy for more than two kids, or even more than one. Or maybe economics comes into play. Actually, I hope economics comes into play.
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Hidden behind the radiator in (what will be) Isla’s bedroom was a box of over-the-counter anti-flatulence medicine. Why anyone would want to forgo the pleasure of a good fart is beyond me but, nevertheless, the package has now become the latest in a continuing list of oddball items the prior owner left behind.
Here’s the list, in order of when we discovered the quirky item:
-Fireplace utensils
-A bottle of wine
-About two dozen cans of Diet Coke
-A statue of St. Anthony holding a child
-A ladder
-A fancy candle holder with candle
-The book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Managing Stress
-A bunch of accessories for a model train set
-About 10 bars of soap
-A douche bag (seriously)
-A pair of women’s underwear
-A bandana
-An antique hook for lacing up boots
-An unopened box of dryer sheets
-Prescription headache medication
-A lap desk
-The aforementioned GasX
I’m not sure why someone would leave these things behind. They are of varying value, but they all have some value (well, except for the used nether regions wash). Most of this stuff we’ve either thrown out (such as the panties) or given away (such as the bandana and the train supplies). We sold the statue. I’m using the lap desk as I write this. It’s about the most hideous piece lap desk you could imagine, and the cheap plastic top bows under the weight of my laptop. If you want it, let me know, otherwise it’s taking a one-way trip to the Goodwill next time I go.
I will post if I find anything else of note. I hope there’s more…this is quite fun.
Friday, 11 November 2011
The big news today is that the date is 11/11/11. This sort of thing has happened every 13 months since the millennium began, but judging from the Facebook time today’s date is getting, this one is REALLLY special. It must be because all six digits are the same, unlike, say, last year in October when the date was ‘merely’ 10/10/10.
In fact, there are frequent notable dates like this one. This year alone, there has already been 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11. Then there’s also been 09/10/11and even 07/09/11, and soon there will be 11/22/11.
Another interesting fact about today’s date (assuming, of course that the other facts were interesting, which they were not), is that it’s the first time the six digits have all been odd numbers since way back on November 19, 1999. Of course, back then, all EIGHT digits were odd: 11/19/1999, whereas today, only six of them were odd. Still, it’s been a long string of even numbers creeping in – ever since February 02, 2000, when all eight digits were even numbers. The next time all eight digits will be even is on February 02, 2020, about eight years from now.
We’ll have to wait considerably longer for all eight digits to be odd. One thousand one hundred days from today, in fact.
Today was yet another day to get some stuff accomplished around the house.
I hung up a few items that had just been laying around. Then I cleaned off a couple of counter tops in the kitchen and dining room that have had junk on them since before we even moved in. I also removed the obscenely ugly, crooked towel racks from the downstairs bathroom and installed two new hooks. I also managed to shorted the blinds on two bedroom windows.
Yes – did you know you can do that? I first learned about this when Jennifer and I bought blinds from IKEA for our last home. The blinds were long enough to cover a window 50% longer than the ones we owned, and, helpfully, the IKEA users’ manual came with instructions on how to shorten the blinds to make them fit a shorter window.
A couple of months ago, when we first moved in, I looked online for a quick refresher on how to perform this feat. Here’s a helpful video if any of my loyal readers have a window that’s three feet high and blinds that are six feet long:
Sunday, 06 November 2011
Today, while my wife took Owen to a birthday party, and Isla napped upstairs, I powered up my laptop and watched the latest episode of The Office, and episode titled “Doomsday.”
There have been 158 episodes in this tired series that jumped the shark last season, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that “Doomsday” is, so far, the worst episode ever, and if you haven’t seen the episode yet, you should still feel free to read on here; I can’t possibly ruin it for you.
The main premise of the episode is that the crew has been making too many mistakes. Dwight convinces his boss, Andy, to allow him to initiate a computer program that, upon logging five errors from is co-workers, will immediately send damning information to the CEO, Robert. Among this information is proof that their location has been losing money for the company, along with several embarrassing emails the co-workers have circulated amongst themselves in which they berate Robert.
Um…so far, not funny, but not terrible either.
But then the mistakes begin to add up. I’m not sure how this is tracked, it’s completely illogical. And, in fact, if Dwight has created a program that can detect all sorts of errors like this, then he should sell his software to companies around the globe and retire as a multi-billionaire.
Anyway…
After achieving four errors, the co-worker (who inexplicably continue to perform their jobs) break out into panic. To avoid the situation, Dwight simply leaves for the day, and goes home to dig a horse grave.
Deciding now would be a good time to convince Dwight to shut down his program, four of Dwight’s co-workers drive to his home and…ready for this…begin to assist him in digging the grave. When Andy (one of the four) suggests to the others that they “have to do something,” his subordinate Pam tells him their best course of action is to do nothing! Ha Ha! Brilliant!
Meanwhile:
Darryl finds the new woman working down in shipping to be quite attractive. Problem is, Gabe also finds her attractive. I can’t think of any two men on the show who are more dissimilar, but it’s hard to buy the idea that both Darryl and Gabe would like the same woman. Darryl, as usual, plays it cool, while Gabe decides the woman will find fat jokes funny. Out of desperation, Gabe just comes right out and asks her on a date. She declines, on the basis that she doesn’t date co-workers. Darryl overhears this and mugs for the camera.
Meanwhile, Jim meets up with Robert at a squash court. Jim’s plan, evidently, is to get to the CEO’s phone first, and delete the incoming ‘doomsday’ information. I’m not sure how, or why, Jim thinks this will work, and he looks like a complete buffoon when he runs for the phone and frantically tries to delete what he believes is the damning info. Stupid.
Meanwhile, back at the farm…
The incompetent gang-of-four leaves Dwight’s place, having accomplished nothing. Dwight remarks about how much they ruined his day and then, in a deus ex machina move that made me feel embarrassed for the show’s writers, Dwight simply decides to deactive the doomsday program.
Oh – and I should mention that the episode began with Andy crooning Semisonic’s “Closing Time” to the crew. This is, we learn, something he does at the end of every workday, even though we’ve never heard or seen of this before. It’s dumb, cloying, and another trying-too-hard moment from this episode.
Apart from Dwight’s assessment of his co-workers (he said they ate all his dessert and dug the worst horse grave ever), which belied his actions, I never laughed once.
I wish this show would just end.
Monday, 07 November 2011
Today I sat at a table at the entrance to my job’s cafeteria, and passed out information about Toastmasters. Our club has been losing members, mostly due to people quitting the company, and we need to beef up our numbers. Some people came over to the table just for the candy, but some were genuinely curious. One guy said, “Oh no, that’s not for me. I hate public speaking.”
Um, not to sound like a salesman, but that’s exactly why he should join Toastmasters. Of course, he might have other reasons for not joining, and that’s just fine, but what kind of a stupid excuse is that?
It reminds me of when I was a Jehovah’s Witness, and I’d knock on someone’s door, and they’d interrupt my sales pitch to say, “No thanks, I have my own religion.” I always wanted to say, “No shit, idiot. That’s why I’m here. If you had the same religion as me, you’d be out here knocking on doors, too.”
I’m just wondering if people really don’t think about matters any deeper than that. When I saw an ad in the community education booklet that said, “Beginner Guitar Lessons,” should I have said, “No way, man, I don’t know how to play guitar?” It doesn’t make any sense.
Tuesday, 08 November 2011
Today, Jennifer and I ventured to the local community center to vote. We have never before voted in an odd-year election. As I told my wife, it’s not a very important election. She responded with, “Every election is important.” Jeez, when did she become so civic-minded?
At any rate, we had to register – or would that be re-register – since we have moved since the last election. The re-registering was a pretty smooth process, and the large gymnasium afforded our kids plenty of space to run and diminish the dignity of the event.
St. Paul was trying out their run-off voting method. I’m a big fan of this style, because it makes me more likely to vote for who I want to win, rather than who I think has the best chance of beating the idiot. So, essentially, I voted for two people: first I picked the man I wanted for the job, then I picked the guy that I wouldn’t mind for the job. I could have selected a third, fourth, fifth, and even sixth choice, but I didn’t feel comfortable with any of those candidates, so I left them blank.
Afterward, I received an “I Voted” sticker from a woman who was, evidently, too tired to rip the sticker off the roll and told me to just do it myself. Tragically, the sticker is, again, not a scratch-and-sniff.
Today I hosted yet another episode of Atheist Talk. Like the last time (way back in July), my guest was again my friend Ryan.
In part one of the show, guest Ryan provided an overview of the popular fantasy series Discworld, by British author Terry Pratchett. Ryan explained that in the Discworld universe, all the teachings of religions are real, leading to absurdities and difficulties on a scale most theists never consider. Ryan noted that it is Pratchett’s atheism that allows him to skewer and critique religious myths so artistically. Ryan recently represented Minnesota Atheists at the Discworld Convention in Madison, Wisconsin, where he delivered a presentation on the belief structures of Discworld and how this relates to our culture, so much of the material he discussed in this show was culled from that presentation.
Part two was originally slated to be a discussion of Jake Farr-Wharton’s book Letters to Christian Leaders, for which Ryan wrote a review. However, Ryan found the book so crass and poorly written that he instead used the book as an example of how not to critique religious beliefs. Ryan’s review is hilarious – it’s almost (~99%) entirely negative. I’ll post a link to it once it appears online.
Friday, 04 November 2011
Today my company sponsored their yearly 6K event. I am always amazed at the fact that the first Friday in November always has great weather. Holding an outdoor event in early November seems like a risky endeavor here in Minnesota, but my employer lucks out every time (or maybe they have control over meteorological events; I don’t know).
With stop watch in tow, I positioned myself towards the front of the pack this year. I purposely waited behind the people wearing Boston Marathon shirts, while at the same time ensuring that I was far ahead of the people in blue jeans.
Once the signal was given to go, I began running and pressed the button on my stop watch. Stupidly, the watch was not set to the correct function, so I spent several seconds attempting to rectify the matter. Finally I got it working right, but then I spent the rest of the race knowing that the time was not accurate. As you may recall, last year I achieved my best time by about 80 seconds. After running about 75% of the way, I had to slow down and walk for a while. Last year, I ran for a longer fraction of the race, so I knew this would mean I would not achieve my best score, but at the moment, I was in so much pain that I had to slow up a bit. Then I did some mental calculations and realized that if I picked up the pace a little, I still might beat my time. I ran some more, then walked, then ran, then walked. Coming around the final corner, I estimated (recall that my stopwatch was not dead-on) that I still had three minutes left to make my best time. Without sprinting, I nonetheless trotted along sure and steady and finished with my best time ever. I’m not sure what my exact time was, but I believe I bested last year’s effort by a minute. Beating last year’s time was an unexpected occurrence; beating it by so much was completely surprising. Evidently, I just keep getting faster and stronger each year. By 2025, I will probably be winning this thing.
The day after Halloween is All Saints’ Day. I think, instead, it should be known as the Day of Copious Candy. Man, it was everywhere.
Leftover candy greeted me this morning, so I threw some in with my lunch to bring to work. At work, everyone was offering candy, starting with the woman who sits at the front desk. Another co-worker had an open bag of candy sitting right inside her cubicle with a sign on her white board that read “Free Candy! Help Yourself! Take as much as you want!”
Later, there were full-sized candy bars just sitting out for the taking. I, of course, helped myself to two packages of Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups.
I’m not eating all of this candy today, naturally. I’m attempting to be diligent by storing it up in my cube for when hunger ‘strikes.’
Wednesday, 02 November 2011
Today Isla went to Children’s Hospital for her surgery. I won’t go into too much detail; I’m sure my wife will post a more detailed and accurate synopsis at some point in the near future, but I’m pleased to report everything went well.
Isla had been well-prepped for the procedure by 1) the visit we paid to the hospital two weeks ago, 2) take home hospital supplies that took the scariness out of things like gloves, masks, and hair nets, and 3) a library copy of Franklin Goes to the Hospital.
Check-in went smoothly. During the time we had to wait until the procedure was set to begin, Isla had a fun time playing with the hospital’s toys, especially riding in a pushing the small cars. She made friends with another young girl (~2 years old) who was also awaiting surgery, and they played together for over an hour.
I accompanied Isla into the surgery room and held her in my arms while she was given anesthesia. When we first walked in the room, Isla looked around as if she recognized the hairnets from our pretend play and the machines from the Franklin book. She disliked having the mask placed in front of her face, but she didn’t freak out; she merely whined a little bit. While I continued to help her, the nurse say “Old MacDonald Had a Farm,” and that’s as far as she got, because Isla was already asleep by that point. The nurse and the anesthesiologist assisted me in getting Isla onto the bed safely, and then I left the room.
We were told the procedure would take about 90 minutes. So, while I waited in the waiting room (I know, very appropriate), Jennifer and her mom went down to the cafeteria to purchase lunch for the three of us.
About midway through our meal, the doctor came out and told us that Isla’s bladder was in rougher shape than previously thought, but no worries. The procedure appeared to take care of the problem. He told us Isla was done with surgery and that we could go back and see her in a few minutes.
When we went back to the recovery room, I was pleased to a nurse holding Isla. I’m sure an older child would be fine laying in a bed, but I appreciated that they had the presence of mind to know a 15-month old would like to be held. Jennifer nursed Isla, and the staff continued to monitor her for another hour or so.
All in all, I was once again impressed with Children’s Hospital and I was glad all went so smoothly for Isla. She slept a lot this evening and went to bed very easily tonight. The prognosis seems positive; we go back for a check-up in about a month.
