Author Archives: James

6 Months in Our Home

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Today marks six months since we moved into our house. I thought I’d take this half-year anniversary to list the improvements (or changes, if you prefer) we’ve made to the place since purchasing it…

ALL OVER THE HOUSE

-Cleaned the blinds (except Isla’s room and our room)

-Removed spare slats from blinds (except bathroom, Isla’s room and our room)

-Removed curtains

-Filled radiators (most were low on water)

-Cleaned ceiling fans

-Cleaned light fixtures

OWEN’S ROOM

-Removed an enormous built-in shelf

Okay, so I hope it’s obvious this picture was taken in the garage, not Owen’s room. But here’s the shelf we took out of his room. Or, rather, this is two-thirds of it. It was hanging on the wall. Quite imposing for a kid’s room.

-Painted all walls, including those in the closet

-Painted ceiling

-Painted ceiling fan

-Replaced ceiling fan’s light fixture with one that better matched style of room

-Removed radiator cover (all the radiators in the house have custom-made wood covers on them; we got rid of the one in Owen’s room since the radiator itself fits the robot/science theme)

-Put in molding below window

This illustrates what I’m talking about. Notice the piece of wood below the window sill. It wasn’t there when we moved in. We found the piece in the garage and nailed it up. I know it sounds silly that the previous owner would have removed the molding around one-quarter of the window, but keep in mind that there was a radiator cover, so there wasn’t room for the molding.

ISLA’S ROOM

-Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

ADULTS’ ROOM

-Flipped the fan blades to expose the slightly less hideous side.

UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

-Replaced toilet seat

-Replaced toilets seal and phlange

-Installed lock

-Installed door-stopper (more precisely, we installed a better door-stopper – the prior owner simply used the cabinet molding as a door-stopper, as a huge gouge attests)

-Fixed medicine cabinet so that door didn’t almost fall off every time we opened it

-Put caps on toilet bolts

Here’s the seedy underside of our household: used to be, there were just dusty, dingy bolts sticking up here. But I sawed ’em down to size and capped ’em.

UPPER STAIRWELL

Fixed handrail so that it wasn’t *almost* falling off.

LIVING ROOM

-Washed fireplace bricks

-Straightened mantle (you know, so that clocks and pictures wouldn’t pitch forward if we set them on the mantle)

-Swapped out one electrical outlet (details found here)

-Installed weather stripping under front door

-Replaced torn, filthy, chewed up carpet pad with spiffy, spongy pad (thanks, friend)

-Got the fireplace to work (thanks, brother-in-law)

OFFICE / TOY ROOM

-Removed ceiling molding (there were dark, heavy pieces of wood running along the edge of the ceiling; we ripped them out)

-Painted all walls

-Replaced molding above windows

Similar to the molding we replaced around Owen’s bedroom window, the top piece of molding wasn’t there when we moved in. The prior owner likely removed it to install his $1.99 curtain rod. We couldn’t find the original molding but we found two pieces that, when butted up to each other, work splendidly.

-Put access holes in desk (not sure if that makes sense…so just look at the picture below to see one of two of these holes)

See what I mean?

DINING ROOM

-Painted all walls

-Removed two large cabinets

There used to be a large cabinet located to the right of the window here. It was as wide as the wall and taller than the window. I took it out (and its companion to the left of the window) and sold them for cold cash.

-Screwed desk to wall

Here’s the desk I’m talking about. I know it seems odd to list securing this to the wall as a home improvement, but my son inadvertently discovered it was quite easy to tip this thing over. I immediately set about remedying the situation, and was surprised to find there was already a hole in the back of the desk and in the wall, indicating it had been secured once before. Not sure what changed.

KITCHEN

-Painted all walls

-Installed door-stopper on back door

-Replaced busted light-switch cover with non-busted light-switch cover

-Got built-in radio to work (and straightened it)

Here’s the headquarters of our built-in stereo system. It used to be crooked. And it didn’t work properly. And that light switch plate directly below it was cracked in two places. All better now!

-Got in-fridge water dispenser to work a lot better

-Painted door’s window frame

-Removed wood from fridge front

I know that my comment about wood on the fridge might be kind of confusing, so here’s a picture of our dishwasher. Notice it has a wood front. Kind of weird, but not exactly butt ugly like, say, our chandelier. Our fridge used to have a front like this, but I removed all four panels. Now it looks like this:

See? Now this is how a fridge should look – with magnets and kid creations scattered all over.

MUD ROOM

-Painted all walls

-Painted door stop

-Painted door

-Removed large shelf

There used to be a cabinet here stretching from the floor to almost the ceiling and nearly as wide as the wall. I traded it for cash.

LOWER STAIR WELL

-Fixed railing

BASEMENT COMMONS AREA

-Removed fridge

-Swapped fluorescent light with non-garish illumination option

-Put light switch in laundry area on the wall instead of on the ceiling

I know this picture is kind of disorienting, but here’s the light above our washer and dryer. The gray box to the right is where the light switch used to be. Not sure why the prior owner put it there, but maybe there was a shortage on electrical wiring and he couldn’t find any at any of the twenty hardware stores within the city limits.

Here’s the new light switch, conveniently located on the wall about four feet from the ground. The open spot is for the outlet, which is also located on the ceiling as of this writing.

DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM

-Removed three very ugly towel racks

-Replaced toilet seat

-Fixed toilet so it no longer wobbles

-Hooked up ceiling fan so it now vents to the outside instead of to the rest of the house

-Removed the ugly, obtrusive, mold-encrusted soap/shampoo dispenser from the shower stall

-Installed new tap

-Removed hideous toilet paper holder with sleek IKEA style worthy of the name “toilet paper dispenser”

-Installed two towel/clothes hooks

-Removed a light fixture (hey, the bathroom had four light fixtures; how many do I need in a five by five room?)

-Removed obnoxious cabinet from above the toilet

I think it really says something about the cabinet I removed when I say: This is an improvement! Honestly. I can now sit on the seat without having to lean forward, and I can stand without feat of smacking my head on the cabinet. I’ve since installed the guts of the cabinet (i.e., the shelving) in our workshop.

-Replaced all cabinet handles with non-rusted models

SPARE ROOM

-Removed fluorescent light, replaced with incandescent model, got some sucker to take the old light fixture so I didn’t have to pay to recycle it

-Removed peg board from wall (and sold it for five big ones)

-Had the hot water heater serviced

-Knocked down wall…mostly (like our previous house, we moved into a place where the prior owner decided to put up a wall that intersects a window; we dislike that)

Clearly, this is a work in progress. But this moldy wall, intersecting a window, is on its way out.

YARD

-Fixed sprinkler system so that it works

-Removed water-logged, moldy thermometer from side of garage (it was especially unnecessary since there is a much better thermometer only four feet away from this one)

-Pulled lots of weeds, including ivy that grew up the side of the house and blocked sunlight from the windows

-Removed two stepping stones from yard

GARAGE / WORKSHOP

-Removed inoperative garage door opener (and got someone to take it!)

-Installed new garage door opener

-Insulated workshop walls and ceiling (the walls were about half done already)

-Installed car guides

-Nailed up wood to walls and ceiling

-Removed padlock fixture on door

-Hired professional electrician to “do” the electrical correctly in the workshop and garage

-Installed two shelving units (see above for picture of one of them)

Okay, that’s pretty much it. I mean, we’ve done a lot of other stuff, but either it was so minimal (like caulking a gap below a window) or was just decorative stuff (like hanging pictures), so I didn’t list it here.

Oh – one other thing. Not sure if this qualifies as a home improvement, but there was this bill holder/key holder shelf near our side door that was left here when we moved in. We both talked about getting rid of it but, in the interim, we began using it. Soon, it seemed like a valuable thing to have. Unfortunately, it was installed off-center and it was pretty ugly. Today, I finished painting the wood white and the hooks silver. I hung it up again – this time, perfectly centered. Take a look:

Books, Nut Goodies, Silent FIlms

Tuesday, 06 March 2012

The Freethought House website was just updated to include the latest information on the book I’m co-editing.

I’m pretty excited about this, and not just because I’m accruing four college credits for doing it. If you read this blog, it’s pretty obvious (I think) that I love books, so it’s great to have such an insider look into the creation of one.

There’s a tab at the top of Freethought House’s site called “Atheist Voices of MN,” which opens a page detailing the forth-coming book. The bottom of the page lists all the people who contributed stories and artwork for the book. My wife and I are both listed there and, I gotta admit, it’s a little weird to see my name in the antepenultimate position (it’s usually last).

The book is scheduled for a September release, but this may be bumped up to August. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, 07 March 2012

Last summer, I uploaded this video to YouTube:

It’s not a particularly remarkable video; my friend, Rhett, and I were just out and about for the day and I was just filming random things. I was borrowing the camera from my high school and, if I recall correctly, I had to return it the next day, so I was just using it as much as I could.
Anyway, when I rewatched the film recently, I noticed something – 44 seconds into the video, Rhett quickly points out the Nut Goodies for sale.

I don’t think I ever noticed this before. I mean, I must’ve noticed it in the moment, because, as you can see, I turn the camera for a brief second to stop focusing on Rhett and point out the snack he just pointed out. But I never paid attention to that again. Rhett and I were kicked out of KFC just the day before, so just being able to film inside a store was amazing to me at the time, and in subsequent viewings, I paid more attention to the people in the film, rather than the quick mention of the snack food.
Why did he point out the Nut Goodies? Who knows? My guess is that they just caught the corner of his eye as he was rounding the corner in the gas station, and he figured he’d give me something “interesting” to film besides the back of his head.

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the day we made A Groovy Teenage Movie, and so, to mark the occasion, I purchased three Nut Goodies and, following dinner, Jennifer, Owen, Isla and I shared some tasty home-grown Nut Goodies.

Thursday, 08 March 2012

Today, I brought the book The Pocket Guide to Minnesota Place Names, by Michael Fedo, into our house.

The funny thing about this boring piece of information, is that I purchased the book on August 24, 2007, and I think today is the day the book finally made it into the house.
I normally don’t take four-and-a-half years to carry new possessions from my car to my house, but I can explain this odd occurrence.
On that day back in 2007, Jennifer and I were celebrating our anniversary. We visited the Oliver H. Kelly Farm in Elk River. In the gift shop, I picked up this book and thought it would be interesting to learn “the stories behind 1,200 place names in the North Star State” (as the front cover advertises). So I bought it.
On the drive home, I decided it would be an excellent book to keep in the car – as we are driving around the state, we can open up to the name of the place we are traveling in, and learn how it got that name. So I tossed it in the glove compartment.
Over the years, I pulled it out whenever I was waiting in the car for one reason or another, and read a page or two in the book. Yesterday, when I pulled up to Owen’s school to pick him up, I arrived about ten minutes early. So, as I often do, I opened up the glove compartment, and began reading the book. With only three pages left, I easily finished it. I tossed it on the passenger seat and got out to go get Owen. Today, I brought it in the house to add to my list of books I’ve read.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, don’t bother with this book. Despite the claim of 1,000+ stories in the book, it contains almost none. Most place names are given just a one or two-sentence explanation, often just by saying “this river was named after the local saloon owner” or “this city is named after the corresponding city in England.” Stories those are not.

Also – interesting article on the large bill for the new sports stadium.

Friday, 09 March 2012

Tonight, before bedtime, Owen and I watched some silent films. Ever since I read The Invention of Hugo Cabret with him last month, we’ve been meaning to sit down and watch A Trip to the Moon (the 1902 film that SPOILER! forms a key point to the plot).

So, first we watched the Georges Méliès classic. We easily found it on YouTube. It’s only about 12 minutes long, so give it a whirl here:

Make sure you watch this one, and not the one labeled as “OFFICIAL,” because that one has a lousy voice-over.
At the end of the film, YouTube offers suggestions for similar films, so we also watched:


The Haunted Castle, from 1896,


The Astronomer’s Dream, from 1898,


and The Merry Skeleton, from 1897.

Owen laughed and giggled numerous times with all these films. He thought they were so great, he kept talking about the funny things that happened. Thanks to Jennifer, we snacked on pop-corn while watching the films, too.

We next found Safety Last, the 1923 Harold Lloyd film, in complete form on YouTube. The famous scene from this film, in which Lloyd is hanging from a clock on the side of a building, is discussed in Hugo Cabret, and a two-page spread shows an actual still from the film. So Owen immediately recognized the film and wanted to watch it. I’m glad he did, because it’s probably the most significant silent-era film that I’ve never watched. We watched about a third of the film tonight, and then I paused it and said I was too tired to finish. So Owen and I went to bed. I hope we get to finish the film tommorow!

Thirty-Two Years Ago Today…

Monday, 05 March 2012

Since I’m working on my minor in history at Hamline, I guess I should devote a minor amount of this blog to noting anniversaries of notable events in human history. That, and I’m obsessed with commemorating this sort of stuff, anyway.

It was on this day in 1980 that a fully booked passenger airplane en route to Chicago met up with a triple threat: inclement weather, incapacitated crew, and a bomb threat. While still in mid-air, pundits gave up the passengers for dead, and multiple news outlets declared there was no chance of a safe landing. In an unbelievable turnaround, however, one of the passengers, a former army pilot during Vietnam, with the help of the two flight attendants, wrested the bomb from the would-be terrorist, navigated the storm, and brought the plane in for a safe, albeit bumpy, landing. Though the injuries were many, no lives were lost in the landing.

The pilot went on to become a space shuttle test pilot and married one of the flight attendants. A documentary about the event can be found AT THIS LINK.

Of the reluctant passenger’s rise to heroism that day, one of the passengers memorably stated: “The bro was on. Didn’t flip. But the folks was fleeking man, hey. And the pilot was laid to the bone, home.”

But I can’t do his words justice. Just watch the clip:

Home Improvements

Saturday, 03 March 2012

Last week, when I was buying sheets of plywood for my garage, I had a few minutes to wait. One of the employees was cutting the wood into manageable sizes for me, so I wandered around the store. I found a bathroom faucet for sale, on clearance from $60 down to $28. It looked nice; a vast improvement over what currently exists in the downstairs bathroom. So I bought it.

 The ugliest bathroom faucet I’ve ever owned.

Today, I finally got around to installing it. Owen and Isla accompanied me to the local hardware store so I could pick up a few items I needed to do the job, and then I set to work. The connectors I bought were too long, so I had to go back and swap them, otherwise everything went smoothly.

Owen gave the faucet its inaugural run. He seemed pleased with the results. So was I.

But I didn’t stop there. No sir-ee. I also finally removed the keychain-slash-bill holder shelf that came with our house and centered it on the wall. Yeah, not sure what the bonehead previous owner was thinking, but there’s a narrow wall separating the back door from the mudroom, and he hung the shelf there…off-center by about an inch. It wouldn’t be noticeable on a large wall, but when the wall is only 10 inches wide, it’s obvious. It took me all of about four minutes to locate the exact center, mark it, unscrew the shelf, and rehang it at the exact center.

Sunday, 04 March 2012

In the continuing saga of home improvement, today I put these little caps on the bolts that come up from the floor and hold the toilet in place. I actually bought some caps yesterday but, seeing they didn’t fit, I returned them at the same time I swapped out those connectors. Boy, that was dumb of me. Turns out, you can saw the bolts down.

I wasn’t sure if this would work, since they are rather sizable bolts. But with a bit of olecranon tallow, I was able to hacksaw my way through both bolts. The new caps fit well, and they make the whole thing look better. Well, it’s still a place to take a crap, but you get my meaning.

Also, in an effort to gain more room in the garage (since I no longer have the workshop for my own use), I brought in several pieces of baby furniture (you know, like a swing, a jumper, and a car seat) and some cardboard boxes. I’ve never liked that these things have been in our garage, but we didn’t really have a choice when we lived in the apartment: there was just no room in our home. For a while, we kept them at my mom’s place, but when she hooked up with Keith, my kind, loving, considerate, friendly stepfather, he asked us to take our junk elsewhere. Or, rather, he had my mom ask us, since, you know, he can’t talk to us without suffering grave repercussions.

This is what happened to the last JW who foolishly tried to talk to us.

So…yeah…anyway…our stuff’s been out in a dirty garage for two years.

When we moved into our home almost six months ago, I didn’t even think about it. All that stuff had been in the garage already, so I just absent-mindedly put it in the new garage.

But today, with Owen’s help, I carried the items into the house and put them in our attic. They’ll stay cleaner and safer in there and, should we need any of it again (or wish to get rid of it), it will be a lot easier venturing into the attic during a cold winter’s day than out to the garage.

More Middle Name

Friday, 02 March 2012

This evening, Jennifer and I once again engaged in a conversation about my middle name.

She’s not excited about this idea. She said something like, “But it’s who you are – I remember when we first met, you used to always tell people your whole name.”

“Yeah, I know, and that’s just it. So many people hate their middle name or are embarrassed by it, but I had no such issues; I was proud of my name and I liked to tell people my whole name.”

Actually, the notoriety I afforded my middle name was not initially born out of pride, but out of a need to distinguish myself from my father. My parents, in a masterstroke of creativity, bestowed upon me the same name as my father and, upon my sister, the same name as our mother. The four of us were James and Diane and James and Diane.

This was super-cute, and despite what everyone evidently thought, there were no name issues at home. After all, the big people were known as “Dad” and “Mom,” and the little people were “James” and “Diane.”

But it wasn’t so cute as the kids became adults. Our mail got mixed up. People called asking for Diane, and I’d have to ask “Which one?” My mom hated being called “Big Diane.” My Dad confounded people by introducing himself with the “childish” name of “Jim” or “Jimmy,” while calling his young son the authoritative sounding “James.” My sister took to filling out forms and signing up for magazines as “Michele Diane” (a swapping of her first and middle names). I, meanwhile, signed my full name, or at least put in thie intial – D – to distinguish me from my father.

But I don’t like my middle name anymore (I’ve written about this before).

So I want to change it.

But will it mess with my identity?

I pointed out to my wife that she changed her name, and she said she had to, ’cause we got married.

I rebutted that she did not have to. I distinctly recall initiating a conversation regarding which name we would take.

Jennifer reminded me that I was insistent we share a last name, and that I presented an argument that claimed my last name was better. At the time, she readily conceded. I knew she would, because she had lamented how she disliked that people always pronounced her name wrong, or didn’t know how to spell it. I assured her there were no such issues with my last name. So, we went with mine.

Jennifer also noted that she now uses her maiden name online, but I pointed out that she only does this so that people who knew her in her younger days (before she married the man of her dreams) can find her.

I want to have a name like I used to have – one that I am proud of and that identifies me as the person I am. If I’m going to be named after someone (as all three of my names are), then it better A) not be a stupid name, and B) not be named after an asshole.

Jennifer brought up the issue of money, so I – being the spendthrift I am – asked how she would feel about it if money was no concern. I don’t remember what she said. I think I was getting too tired.

Anyway, I don’t know. Maybe it’s silly. Maybe it’s not. Over the past two years, I’ve removed my middle name from everything that I could; even when forms ask for my middle name, I simply put the initial.