Owen and Isla dressed as a Clone Trooper and a Teletubby, respectively. Here they are:
This is a somewhat staged photo, as Isla did not ride a scooter around the neighborhood, despite the fact that Po, her character, is often depicted with a scooter. Also, Owen kept the mask up on top of his head for most of the festivities.
Here’s a picture of them on their way to trick-or-treat:
Owen is using his Star Wars pillowcase for treats, and Isla is using a plastic jack-o-lantern.
This is Owen’s second year as a Star Wars character, having dressed up last fall as a Jedi. I’m hoping this is his last foray into Star Wars Halloween costumes, as I’d like to see him diversify a little.
First Jennifer took the kids around the block, then I took them around two more blocks. I brought them home, and Owen declared he wanted to go out some more. Jennifer said, “Well that’s good, because your cousins are coming over to go trick-or-treating with you.” So, we waited around for a few minutes, and then their cousins showed up. The two-year olds stayed inside, while Owen and I went out with Jay and Lyric.
There are some rather intense Halloween celebrants in our neighborhood, including one house with a cauldron of dry ice and adults in full, scary costumes. There was another one with a gigantic blow-up gothic carriage, grotesque pumpkins, and a guy in a joker outfit running around down the street scarring people. Another home featured a cemetary with people acting real creepy. Isla was too scared to even go up to one house. And I had to coax Owen into approaching another. One of the last homes we walked up to had a “Vote Yes” (regarding the marriage amendment) sign in the yard. I thought that was a little too scary for the kids, but Owen’s cousin wanted to give it a try. Alas, their gate was locked. Jay said, “Well, if you had a ‘Vote Yes’ sign in your yard, would you show your face?”
Bill Maher making fun of Mitt Romney certainly isn’t news-worthy, but here’s a clip of his writers lifting a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece Shadow of a Doubt, and putting a hilarious spin on it…
Also, this made me laugh:
Also, remember a few days ago, when I lamented the indefinite postponing of the best comedy currently on TV? Well, I’ve been checking online every few days to see if there is a change in Community’s prognosis. And, while I regret to report that there is not, the great news is that I’ve discovered that, somehow, I never got around to watching the last three episodes of last season. Oh man, how great is that? It’s like digging in your couch, looking for that quarter you dropped, and finding three quarters! And that would be truly awesome, because I’m trying to fins double the amount of money this year that I found last year. (And I’m not doing so good this month – unless something changes in the final 48 hours of October, this month will have the smallest haul of any month.) Tuesday, 30 October 2013
Okay, two small milestones to celebrate today:
First, I finished reading the book The Piano Lesson today. My class was assigned to read this play by today. I’m not gonna waste anymore of my life than the 90 minutes I already squandered in class talking about the book. The contents of the book are (I assure you) irrelevant.
Far more interesting than the “story” of the book is the fact that it has become the 67th book I’ve read so far this year. This ties the record for second-most-books I’ve read in a year. The last time I read exactly 67 books in a year was 1999. The only time I ever beat that record was the very next year; I read 71 books in 2000.
Of course, with 1/6 of the year still to come, there’s the very real chance that I will break my record for most books read in a year. In fact, I have a book sitting on my desk that I’ll need to read for class next week, and I’m listening to a book on CD during my commute to work, so those are two books I will definitely add to my list. I will post here once I’ve shattered the 12-year old record.
Second…
Take a look at the chandelier that was dangling from our dining room ceiling when we moved in:
Yes – look upon it…if you dare! Isn’t that the ugliest chandelier you’ve ever seen?
Let me answer that question for you: Yes. It is the ugliest chandelier you’ve ever seen. (Okay, there’s the slight exception of chandeliers that a purposely made to be ugly – like the ones you probably see in chambers of horror; but this is the ugliest chandelier that wasn’t intended to be ugly.)
It’s definitely the ugliest chandelier I’ve ever seen. And I would know. When we first toured the house with a realtor last year, I immediately thought, “Well, that thing is a frightening abomination against all that is pure. I’m gonna tell the owner to knock ten thousand off the asking price just to recoup the cost of visual therapy I’m gonna need for the rest of my life now.”
Indeed, over the past 14 months, everytime I’ve been at other people’s homes, I’ve taken ntoe of their chandeliers and, everytime, I’ve thought, “Wow. I’m so jealous of their light fixture. I wonder if they’d notice if I stole it? How do I distract them?”
I’ve hated this chandelier so much, loathed it will such invective, that I had considered removing it the day we moved in and replacing it with nothing. But my wife was all like, “That’s stupid. We need light in the dining room.” Jeez. I’ve even yelled at other family members for turning it on when I’m in the living room. It’s true – if I’m sitting in the living room, and someone turns on that light, the mishapen bulbs blind me with flashbulb-like intensity. On occassion, I’ve had to place a pillow over my face while the light was on. It’s truly hideous, and all who had a hand in designing it, selecting it for this home, and installing it, should be lobotomized for crimes against morality.
Anyway, I bring this up now because we bought a new chandelier at apprimately 6:00 this evening. By 7:00, we had euthanized the monstrosity you see above and replaced it with the newer, less offensive model.
The old chandelier is now for sale on Craig’s List. If you’d like to buy it, I’m sure it would make a lovely addition to your dungeon.
Last night, Owen fell off his bed (while jumping, not while sleeping) and fractured his arm. A few members of the staff at the ER referenced the “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” song. So, today, he’s got a cast on.
If you recall from my last post, I was at a reading event in Stillwater last night. After the reading, several of us went out for drinks and appatizers. While there, Jennifer called to tell me what happened, so I left promptly and met them at the ER.
Owen was a bit nervous upon first arriving at the hospital, but the intake nurse was very calm and understanding. After we were taken to an exam room, Owen was very happy to find out he would be able to watch Star Wars: The Worst Episodewhile he waited for drugs to kick in and for the x-rays to process.
After the doctor returned and said there was a fracture near his wrist (in his right arm), I left with Isla. She had no intention of going to sleep. About 20 minutes later, Jennifer and Owen arrived home. Thanks to the pain-killers, Owen drifted off to sleep within minutes.
Today Isla tried getting Owen to jump on the bed with her again, but he was having no part in it.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
The convalescing Owen makes a guest blog post:
Eensy. Crazy. Weirdo.
Owen has a comma at the end of the ‘N.’ I said ‘N.’ Not ‘end.’
I am a stinker. Um…Hm…Um…Ha ha ha ha. I don’t know what to say. Weird.
Um…Isla has a play room. I have a room! Put an exclamation mark.
Um…I like school. I like recess. Is it math time? Um…Owen has a marble works. Hm…I’m a weirdo. Who are you sending this to?
I said, “Oh.”
After “to,” there’s supposed to be an “oh” up there.
That was a total mistake.
But it wasn’t my mistake.
I have a cast. Um…I fell. Off the bed. And went to the hospital. I’m mean Children’s Hospital. And I watched Star Wars at the hospital. And, at the hospital, they had to squirt some drugs in my nose, and it was weird. Period.
I will have this cast on for a month. It is very hard to write. This is hilarious. What time is it? It’s 9:40.
Um, no, I’m not all done.
There’s still one more word I wanna say. Are you ready to hear it?
Did you know there’s a new Star Trek film coming out next spring? Read about it here: CLICK THIS. It’s called Star Trek Into Darkness, which is so cute I nearly choked.
I’m marginally excited. About 12 years ago, the powers that be at Star Trek decided they were tired of inventing the future and instead decided to cannibalize their own past. So they made a TV show called Enterprise. Later, they continued to ride the origins story bandwagon and came out with the frustratingly titled film Star Trek. Now there’s just gonna be more of the same from that alternate (= less good) timeline.
Here’s an idea: How about going farther ahead in time, you know, past the time of Picard and Janeway and that soap opera with Odo and Quark and giving us a new batch of heroes to follow? ‘Cause then I, for one, would be standing in line to see that flick.
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Here’s the tentative cover for my upcoming book:
I think it will be tweaked a little bit, but this is pretty much what the cover’s gonna look like. Inside, there will be 24 chapters, plus an appendix, table of contents, acknowledgements section, five or six photos, and about 200 end notes. Right now I’m hard at work editing (mostly editing out) what the editors feel should be axed. The book is definitely too long, and I am not hurt in the least to be leaving plenty of stuff on the cutting room floor. I’ve actually removed entire people from the book – which is kind of funny, really. It’s like removing people from my life but I need to remember that it’s not my entire life story – just the story of being a Witness.
If you’re one of the four or five people who enjoy reading this blog, I hope you’ll buy a copy of the book one day. You, or someone you know, may be in the book (besides me and my wife, of course). Heck, I’ll even sign it at no extra charge (assuming it’s a copy you bought, and not one you rented from the library).
Friday, 26 October 2012
Here’s Owen at the corner drug store this afternoon:
Hey, look! Why does he have both an ice cream cone and a root beer float?
Well, the ice cream is what we buy every Friday after school. The float, meanwhile, is fortuitous because a new employee was being trained in on how to use the soda fountain, and after they made a float, the lady who’s been working there for a while said, “Do you guys want this? Otherwise we gotta throw it out.” So we gobbled it up. Quite literally, actually.
This evening I participated in a book reading at Valley Books in Stillwater.
Here’s the front table that greeted me upon entering:
How awesome is that?
About twenty people attended the reading, which accounted for standing room only in this tiny store. A couple of people just walked in off the street, and a few people came due to reading about the event online. Michelle Huber, meanwhile (seen reading her essay in the photo below), had seven guests in attendance.
I gotta say, I’m jealous. How does she get seven – seven! – people off their asses to come and support her at a literary event in Stillwater? I think seven represents the total number of people that have come to support me in all my author readings, ever. Combined. I’m thinking of stealing Michelle’s friends from her.
Monday, 22 October 2012
Like I do every election year, I visited THIS SITE, entered my zip code, and obtained a sample ballot for the upcoming election. Of course, I already know how I plan to vote for President/VP, Senator, the Voter ID proposal, and other big ticket items. But I don’t know much (or anything) about some of the other races. So I looked up the candidates and wrote down my preferences.
Let’s talk about one race in particular: Associate Judge of the Supreme Court.
Tim Tinglestad is running for a seat on the Minnesota Supreme Court. Again.
As you can see from this still shot of his kick-ass YouTube video, Tim believes that GOD (presumably Thor) superceeds THE CONSTITUTION and even THE PEOPLE.
This is quite scary. Tim is hoping for a position in the judicial branch of our state’s government. The government, of course, operates in accordance with the constitution, which, in turn, was approved by the people. So, I agree with 3/4 of Tim’s heirarchical schematic. But then he puts “GOD” (presumably Vishnu) on top. So…if 100% of the people in Minnesota believe that the voting age should be lowered to 16, but God feels it should be raised to 35…guess what? Tim’s gonna rule on behalf of this unnamed deity – a deity who, quite likely, is not even a citizen of the state.
Tim outlines this in further detail in his vision. His vision begins with the assertion that god (presumably Zeus) wants to shine the light of Truth upon this state and nation again. Not sure when it shined the first time, but Tim says some deity wants to shine it again. I’m not sure how Tim knows this. God must have told him. But this begs the questions of why God only told Tim, and why he didn’t make his pronouncement more widely known.
Anyway, God’s plan evidently begins with Tim getting on the Supreme Court.
Watch his video:
My plan, however, is that people who hear voices in their heads and believe that a powerful deity is guiding their life are in need of psychiatric care, not a seat on the bench. How do we know what this god will tell Tim next? What if Tim is on the court, and God tells Tim to shine the light of human sacrifice again? Will Tim listen? What about reinstituting prayer in the classroom? Will Tim listen to that? What about bringing about marriage equality? If Tim wants to serve on a court in a place where people think they have a direct conduit to extraterrestrials, he should go elsewhere. Utah comes to mind.
On Tuesday, November 6th, be sure to flip over the ballot and re-elect Associate Judge David Stras. Stras is also religious…but decidedly less intense about it.
At tonight’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney said Syria is Iran’s “route to the sea.” My immediate reaction was, “no it’s not!” My second reaction was, “Oh well, who cares? He just made a simple mistake.”
If you’re running for a political office – especially at the national level, you should have a workable knowledge of geography. This is even more important regarding key hotspots in the world. I mean, if the moderator had said to Romney: “Quick, name all the nations that border Namibia,” he’d probably answer incorrectly, if he dared to answer at all. I don’t blame him. I’d get it wrong, too. But in my defense…I’m not running for CEO of the USA, and Namibia is not a foreign policy concern by any stretch. But if someone were to ask me which nations border North Korea, or to name off the countries in the Middle East, or to identify all the nations of Euopre on a blank map, I would surely be able to do it. Especially if I was running for office.
Here’s a map of the relevant portion of the Middle East:
Syria is the green nation in the top left. Iran is the big brown one in the upper right. Notice: Iran is not landlocked. And if it needs a quick route to the Mediterranean, it could go through Turkey, instead of Iraq and then Syria. Or its ships could go around the Arabian Penninsula, up the Red Sea, then through the Suez Canal. Lots of options.
I like to think the people that get my vote can name the branches of government, know who our past Presidents are, and identify key nations on a map.
