Occurrence at NCUR

I haven’t posted too regularly lately, and I realize I’ve gotten behind on some interesting goings-on here at Zimmerscope. So, in short order, I will make four posts, each about an event from the most recent four months, starting with April…

On April 16th and 17th, I was at Eastern Washington University in Cheney (near Spokane), Washington. My university (Hamline) paid for my trip out there, along with some other students. There were thousands of students there that weekend from all over the country taking part in NCUR: The National Conference of Undergraduate Research. Basically, the best papers from the past school year were on display.

On Friday the 17th, I presented by paper, titled “Jehovah’s Witnesses: Their Policy of Shunning.” My presentation, like all the others, was grouped with other presentations of similar topic and was in a classroom where students and faculty could sit in and listen. One of the rules of the conference was that if you did not arrive on time before the set of presenters began, you should not walk in during a presentation, but wait outside the classroom until you hear applause; then you’d know that the speaker was completed and you could enter in between presentations. I was the third of four students presenting their research (all were centered on religious history) during that session.

After the session, right as I exited the room, I was stopped by a short, smiley, smartly dressed young woman who said: “Excuse me, are you James Zimmerman?” Pointing to my badge, I confirmed that I was.

She introduced herself and then said she had wanted to hear my presentation, but arrived just a little too late. And then…

SHE: So, I have to ask, what made you choose Jehovah’s Witnesses for your research topic?

ME: Well, I used to be one, so…

[PAUSE…her smile waned.]

ME: Are you a Witness?

SHE: Yeah. So, I wondering if you visited JW.org for your research.

ME: Yes.

SHE: Okay, good. ‘Cause, you know, it’s important to find out what an organization says about itself rather than reading false information or lies that are spread.

ME: Oh yeah, of course! That website’s the starting point, right? In fact, I mentioned that website during my presentation and I cited from it.

SHE: Oh, you did?

ME: Yeah. Here, you can have a copy of my paper, if you’d like. Then you can read what I discussed.

SHE: Oh, you have the paper with you?

ME: Yeah, do you want it? [I pulled it out of my folder as she tucked her jw.org business card back into hers.] I don’t need it anymore.

SHE: That’s okay. So, where are you from?

ME: I’m from St. Paul, in Minnesota. And I see you’re from [CITY OMITTED], Florida.

SHE: Yeah, I go to school there, but I live in [CITY OMITTED], Florida.

ME: Oh, is that near Port St. Lucie?

SHE: Uh…no…I mean, it’s about an from there. Why, have you been to Port St. Lucie?

ME: Oh yeah, I’ve been there several times. Everyone on my Dad’s side of the family lives there. Well, there and Fort Lauderdale. Of course, they all shun me.

SHE: Oh, okay. So you’re not a Witness anymore, then?

ME: No, I left after my son was born. I couldn’t pass on falsehoods to him.

SHE: Oh, okay. Well, you know, you’re always welcome back. You know, anytime you want, you can call up the local Hall and they’ll visit and start up a home bible study with you again.

ME: Oh, I know. I used to tell people the same thing. I was a Pioneer for over five years, and I’ve read the bible and studied probably more than any elder that would come to my door.

SHE: Okay, well it was nice talking to you.

ME: Yes, you too.

We shook hands again, and she pivoted 180 and walked down the hall. I went outside and joined my two fellow Hamliners who had attended my presentation.

Okay, so…three things:

FIRST: Notice that she asked – at a conference celebrating excellence in research – if my research on Jehovah’s Witnesses involved researching the Witnesses’ own documents. That’s a bit like saying, “Hey, I heard you researched the life of Frederick Douglas. Did you read his autobiography?” Yes: Of course I did. The question would be laughable if it wasn’t for the fact that it exposes the hubris of Witnesses: They truly believe that only they have the correct information about themselves and that all other sources are, in some way, flawed.

SECOND: Notice she encouraged me to study the bible with Witnesses? That’s another bit of hubris: The Witnesses believe that anyone who leaves their faith must be either ignoring or not fully comprehending the bible. Okay, first of all, no one fully comprehends the bible, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Revelation alone is an incoherent mess of rambling contradictions…and that’s just one of 65 books. Second, an unbiased, impartial reading of the ‘decent’ chunks of the bible (and I use that term loosely) might – MIGHT! – lead you to Christianity or Judaism but, I’m sorry…no one becomes a Witness because they read the bible.

THIRD: Notice she said she wanted to attend my presentation but just missed it? Okay, I’m just gonna call bullshit on this one. For one thing, I was the third speaker, so even if she didn’t arrive at 1:00 sharp when the session began, she could have walked in after the first or second speech. I’m sure she saw the abstract about my presentation in the program and was intrigued, but attending would have put her in an awkward position: She knew a loyal Witness would not give a presentation about Witnesses, so she must’ve known the presentation would either be by an ex-Witness or someone who never was a Witness. Either way, she would be opening herself up to ideas about the Witnesses that she is forced to ignore as a loyal member. Had I said anything she found offensive (and I likely did within the first ten seconds of my presentation – see below), her Witness-carved conscience would have compelled her to get up and leave – a big no-no a the conference where they asked attendees to respect presentators and remain for the entire delivery.

I felt bad for her. There, at a conference to expand her mind, instead of listening in on a presentation that could have done just that, she felt duty-bound to wait outside and tell me about what I should have said. Oh well, at least she’s in college, which is a rarity for Witnesses. At least she’s got a chance.

Finally, look what I saw right outside the building where my presentation was. I grabbed a couple of their magazines and, before beginning my presentation, held them up and said, “Just so everyone knows, there are a couple of Witnesses right outside this building, so if anyone has
any questions for them, or if my presentation makes you want to join them, they’re right out there.” I talked to them after my presentation for a half hour. I asked them what they read in the bible that convinced them it was divinely inspired. Pretty much their bottom line was: In Leviticus, the Israelites were commanded to go outside the camp to bury their excrement, and that was really advanced. I told them that was pretty impressive – but since excrement smells bad and (presumably) literally tastes like shit…that such a command isn’t quite enough to make me want to worship the person who penned the command.

Stay tuned – I will be posting about other recent events soon:

May’s event is “One House”

June’s event is “The Unexpectedly Long Rocket Trip”

July’s event is “The Birdhouse”