Saturday, 28 May 2011

We own a charcoal chimney. When I first began using this device to assist in firing up the grill, I didn’t know what to do with the chimney once I was done with it. A few times, I set it on the deck, but the heat of the chimney burned holes in our all-weather carpeting. Later, I tried setting it on the table and on the deck’s ledge, but this just burned the wood. Finally, I decided the best thing to do with the super-hot chimney was to set it atop the air conditioning unit that juts out from our living room and overhangs onto the deck area.

It turns out that an empty charcoal chimney, high above the ground, yet protected by the roof of the apartment building, and within five feet of a never-ending supply of food, is an absolutely perfect place to start a family. If you’re a small bird, that is.

A pair of birds nested in the chimney last summer, too, but I’m not sure they successfully reproduced, as I never heard the chirps of baby birds and the nest appeared to be vacated too soon to raise the next generation from egg to fledgling.

Here’s the male bird, working real hard to bring food to his children:

And here is the loving couple dining together:

Here is the best shot I can get of the nest, without disturbing the goings-on inside. Notice the sticks jutting out – they birds have created a long, narrow nest, about 6 inches in diameter and 14 inches deep. I’m not sure if they feel these are the ideal dimensions for their summer home, or if they are just “making due” (what with the housing market the way it is).

Today I managed to record the baby bird doing what they do best: crying for mom or dad. Here’s the audio: Chirping like crazy.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Unable to make it to Owen’s birthday party a couple weeks ago (thereby breaking their perfect attendance record), my sister and her husband stopped by for a couple of hours today to give Owen their gift.

I asked my sister where and when we planned to meet for the Gay Pride Festival on the 26th of next month. She expressed surprise that I planned to join up with her and her husband, but I told her, “Well, you told our dad we were going, right?” She laughed and said she had.

Here are the details: ten days ago, when my Uncle died, my sister decided it would be a good time to engage in a lengthy theological debate with my father. At one point during the conversation, in what was evidently and attempt to show my dad how “wicked” his children had become, my sister pointed out that she was going to Gay Pride this year and that “James and Jennifer are coming, too.” This is a marked difference between my sister and me: for while I try to avoid mention of anything I know will upset my Witness parents (i.e., pretty much everything but my job and the weather), my sister will go out of her way to talk about such stuff. This makes it all the more funny to me that my family shuns me but not my sister but, as my wife has noted on several occasions, my logical refutation of their worldview surely scares the shit out of them, while my sister’s citation of recent nights bar-hopping and getting tattoos simply makes them think, “Man, see what happens when we leave Jehovah?” Of course, my dad replied that he doesn’t hate gay people, he just hates their actions.

Anyway…

So we’re gonna hook up with my sister and brother-in-law to attend the Pride Parade and then scope out the festivities (such festivities are, similar to the State Fair, like walking around a mall, only worse). My sister said she was considering joining in with the Dykes on Bikes group in the parade. She said she declined, though, as she is too scared to take her bike on the highway (another pointed difference from her brother: I think I’d be more scared to drive around those Minnecrapolis streets than a wide, spacious interstate). I told her we could all hop in my car and join up with the Queers in Cavaliers, but none of us were certain there was such a group.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

For the second time this month, I took the day off work and, once again, had a very full day. Allow me to blitz through it:

While Jennifer drove Owen to school, I breakfasted and showered and tried to keep Isla from eating toilet paper (I failed). Then the three of us took off to first drop off four bags of stuff-we-don’t-want at the Goodwill. When I pulled up to the drop-off zone, there was a woman idling her car in front of me. The sign clearly says, “pull up to line to alert attendant,” but this lady either couldn’t read or thought that pulling up to a line meant parking 5 feet from it. So I spun around to the front of the store, dropped Jennifer off, then came back to see someone else had told the woman to pull forward.

We next plopped down $200 at CostCo to buy paper towels, zip-loc bags, and more toilet paper for Isla to eat. One employee was passing out samples of Coke (which seems as necessary as offering pamphlets entitled “Have you heard of Disney?”). The Coke was advertised as having “real cane sugar,” like the original formula. Unlike the original, however, there was no hint of cocaine. I took the sample, which probably marks the first time in about 10 years that I’ve drunk straight-up Coke. It tasted better than I remember Coke tasting, but still only marginally better than THAT CRAP FROM KARA’S PARTY, so I declined to buy any.

After stopping home to drop off our groceries and eat lunch, we drove to the chiropractor’s office. Jennifer went in to get some body work, and I stayed in the waiting area with Isla and read The Age of Reason (told ya’ I was going to). When a lady there saw Isla playing with my wife’s check card she said, “Oh, she’s gonna love shopping one day,” ’cause, you know, all girls looove to shop. Jennifer quickly retorted, “No, she doesn’t like shopping.” And that’s one of my favorite qualities in my wife: she never turns down the opportunity to argue. I, on the other hand, resemble this animal:

Then, with a half hour to burn, we decided to just go for a walk right there. A few blocks away, we came upon a bunch of boxes in someone’s front lawn. There was a lot of slightly interesting items, and I took an old newspaper from the day Kennedy was killed (John, not Bobby). Jennifer grabbed some old magazines. Then we walked over to Snuffy’s Diner. The owner said Snuffy’s was closed due to computer failure (yikes – talk about addicted to the computer – couldn’t they just take cash or checks only?), but he did allow us to use his restroom. This worked out great, because that’s all we wanted to do. The restroom was through the kitchen, down some nasty stairs, and in a dungeon that would make an excellent house of torture.

Next, we walked across the street to Owen’s school where his class, and all the other Kindergarten classes, put on a patriotic program in celebration of Memorial Day. Owen’s class gave details on Mt. Rushmore and the men whose faces are enshrined there. Owen said, “There are four famous Presidents on the mountain.” Then his class sang This Land is Your Land, which I told Owen later is absolutely my favorite up-with-America song. Later, all four classes sang a song in closing.

After the program, we enjoyed the fruit snacks (with whipped cream!) provided, then bolted down to Burnsville to get our hair “done.” There, my sister regaled us with tales about my family during my Uncle’s death and funeral last week (let’s just say nothing was that surprising), and then we walked to another store to buy Owen new shoes. Another customer at the store, noticing Owen running around in his new shoes, said: “He’s got a lot of energy.” I agreed, then she looked at her two daughters and said, “I don’t have a son, so I guess I don’t know what that’s like.” That’s right, you don’t have a son, just two pretty, pretty princesses.

We ate dinner, cleaned up a little bit and then – just when I thought the day was over – I realized I had lost our garage door opener somewhere. This is a bigger deal than you might think because 1) the other garage door opener is broken, and 2) there is no way to get into the garage apart from the car door. I managed to fix the broken opener and then the manager, responding to a call I’d made earlier, said that someone from another apartment had found our opener on the ground. So I walked over and retrieved it. Problem solved.

Jennifer and I concluded the day by watching three episodes of The Big Bang Theory, which we are currently receiving from Netflix.

Friday, 27 May 2011

So, I wrote to Representative Tim Kelly a couple of weeks ago. He’s a Republican from Goodhue County. I wrote to thank him for voting against bringing the anti-marriage amendment bill to the House floor. I told him I appreciated that he let common sense and his conscience trump his party’s policy.

He wrote back thanking me and gave me the link to the testimony he provided and asked that, if I liked it, to share it with others. So, here it is:

Second, I mentioned a while back that a video we posted on Youtube that employed fair-use snippets of Star Wars‘ music had been removed. Well, I guess it’s been reinstated. Have a look:

Third, grades from the semester were posted yesterday. As I indicated above, I was too busy to look at them yesterday (or, when I had a few minutes, I forgot). Anyway, in what may be the least-surprising news I’ve offered at this blog…I got an A. Yay, me!

Also – vegetarians may have lower rates of cataracts.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

A recent discussion made me realize that there are some things that I’ve managed to never, ever purchase. Of course, there are thousands (millions?) of things that I’ve never purchased but listed here are six things that you would think someone like me would have bought at sometime, but, for whatever reason, I never have:

1. A couch

So, when I first moved out of my parents’ home, they generously gave me their downstairs couch. Later, after getting married, I brought the couch to my new apartment where it shared a living room with my new wife’s futon. Later, we trashed that old couch, but we used her futon for the next 10+ years. Her parents gave us an old couch to use for our basement and, later, my mom gave us her old living room set. At the moment, our futon is at my in-laws’ place, but we still have my mom’s love seat. There really has never been a moment in my life when I’ve thought, “you know, I need a couch.”

2. A new car

Sure, I’ve bought a few cars during my driving career, but never a brand new one. The closest I came was in 2000, when Jennifer and I purchased a 1997 Cavalier. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: brand new cars are such atrocious wastes of money that I would have to be quite rich before I would feel justified in buying a new car. In fact, even if I was a billionaire, I would still feel that buying a new car was a waste of money, but such a purchase would be such a tiny percentage of my funds that I really wouldn’t mind – much as I don’t mind spending a quarter in those candy machines now.

3. A dining room table

As with the couches, Jennifer and I have just seemed to fallen into possession of dining room tables as time goes on. For a couple years, in fact, we even had two dining room tables in our dining room. For the last three years, we’ve used an office desk as our dining room table. We did buy this table from IKEA back in 2004, however, it was sold as a desk (not a table) and we used it as such for a few years.

4. A tool box

When I moved out of my parents’ house, my dad presented me with a refurbished tool box. He worked at a machine shop, so he was able to remove the rust, replace the handle, and repaint it. He even stocked it with some tools. It’s a big, heavy box that has served me well. Of course, a small tool box for carrying tools for smaller jobs is also handy…and Jennifer and I received one at one of our engagement parties prior to our wedding.

5. A snow blower

So, during my adult life, I’ve either been living in an apartment or been the owner of a townhome. In both cases, other people were paid to clear my driveway. The only exception is the three and a half years I was the owner of an actual house. Having only a one-car garage about 25 feet from the roadside meant that my driveway was not very large. Shoveling has always seemed like a great (if unwelcome) way to get some exercise. I don’t think I could justify a snow blower unless I ever own an enormous driveway. And, if I ever do, then I’ll probably be wealthy enough to hire the neighbor kid to come over with his blower.

6. Baby formula

We’ve never purchased baby formula, and the small amount of it that we have possessed we have given to others. When Jennifer was pregnant with Owen, three different baby formula companies sent us samples of their products. Jennifer told me to just give it to a food shelf, but I encouraged her to keep it on hand “just in case.” Thankfully, there was no need for the stuff so, when Owen was about three months old, I brought the formula into work and set it on a counter at my job. I then sent out an email to a few co-workers who also had babies and told them to take it if they wanted to. One co-worker came over to my cube and said, “Don’t you need it for Owen?”

I said, “No. It turns out, my wife has boobs, and they produce food for him. How awesome is that?”

We recently received another unsolicited canister of formula. I brought it to work again and, again, a co-worker asked if I was sure Isla didn’t need it. “Nope,” I said, “we give her better food than this.”

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Today during the Toastmasters’ meeting, we had our annual election of the board members. Since I only joined Toastmasters six months ago, this was my first time participating in a full election, though I was present during the mid-term election of a new president when the previous president resigned due to a job change.

All seemed to be going well until the announcement was made for the sergeant-at-arms. Only one member was on the ballot, but when the secretary called for any other last-minute names, someone shouted out, “I nominate James.” Then, before I could even react, someone else shouted, “I second that motion.” I gave a “What the fuck?” look but it was too late: my name was on the ballot and, as there were now two candidates, we each had to get up and give a quick campaign speech.

The other guy got up first and spent his 60 seconds on stage detailing why I would be the best man for the job. I then got up and basically said that the other guy should have the job, since he asked to be put on the ballot and was not a last-minute addition. It’s not, of course, that I am adverse to being on the Toastmasters’ board, it’s just that I’m busy with other things. Already, I have requested to not be assigned any speeches in June due to a college class I will be taking that month. So…you know…what I am doing in the club is pretty much the maximum I can do without overloading.

I voted against myself.

Monday, 23 May 2011

The big local political news today is that, in the wee hours during the past weekend, the Minnesota House of Representatives passed a bill that will put same-sex marriage restrictions on the state constitution.

Here’s an article about that.

From a law-changing standpoint, this is a completely useless amendment to propose to voters. Minnesota state law already defines marriage between same-sex couples as illegal, so whether voters decide to add this to the constitution or not, same-sex marriage will still be illegal.

But there’s another standpoint to consider: the political one. The religious conservatives who came out for the 2010 election and gave Republicans control of both the Minnesota House and Senate for the first time in decades are going to be needed again to maintain that advantage. Adding an emotionally charged amendment to the ballot is sure likely to get more people to the polls than, say, if Mary or Greg should be State Auditor.

Additionally, conservative congresspeople were voted in on a platform of balancing the state’s budget and bringing Minnesota closer to a theocracy. So, in that way, these Senators and Representatives are only doing what they promised they’d do. Maybe this will help their constituents to remember them fondly in 2012 when their names again come up for a vote.

Though I am not a fan of either of the two controlling political parties in our state, it’s pretty easy to see which is the greater of two evil regarding human rights when we look at the voting roll call for this proposal:

What’s really strange is that two Democrats voted in favor of putting the amendment on the ballot. While I whole-heartily endorse political drones breaking ranks whenever they feel the need to (I hate the slavish adherence to party policy), it’s tough to see what these Democrats hope to gain.

Presumably, since they’re both religious, they must feel that their imaginary friend wants them to make sure same-sex marriage becomes, um, illegal-er. Presuming to know what a supernatural deity desires is, of course, megalomania. But I suppose if they lacked any predilection towards megalomania, they wouldn’t have sought political office in the first place.

I say they “presumably” voted on the bill for religious reasons, because I would certainly think this squashes any chance of reelection they may have been entertaining.

Denise Dittrich, from Champlin, barely squeaked by in her latest election. Despite being the incumbent, and winning with a 19% margin back in 2008, she won with only a 1.9% margin in 2010. When Champlin residents go to the polls in 2012, I would imagine that most Democrats would no longer support her. Meanwhile, conservatives – who may have approved of her vote regarding this amendment – will likely just stick with the Republican nominee for that district.

Lyle Koenen was the other Democrat to vote in favor of the amendment.

Anyway, with a governmental shut down looming, it’s good the Representatives were able to find time late at night on the weekend to put civil rights up for legislation. Thank you, elected officials, for not shattering any of the stereotypes I have about you.

If you live in Minnesota and plan to vote “Yes” on this proposal come Election Day 2012, I would enjoy your logical arguments on why this is a fair amendment and how it will help the citizens of our once great state.

Friday, 20 May 2011

I had a meeting to attend at my employer’s Arden Hills location at 9:00 this morning. Since I didn’t want to drive to my usual location, then have to retrace my steps back to Arden Hill and back, I just showed up for work at Arden Hills. This, of course, meant I started work about two hours later than I usually do, so I had to stay late, too. Ugh. I hate staying at work late.

In other news: Owen’s bike is finally in working order. He and I had to stop at Target yesterday evening to swap out a defective horn for an operative one. I also had to readjust his training wheels since I had originally positioned them too high. Training wheels are a delicate balance in more ways than one: if their situated too high, the inexperienced rider will lean too heavily. If they’re situated too low, the rider risks getting the back tire stuck in potholes or cracks – it just hovers there, suspended by the two training wheels – and there’s no way to move forward.

Owen rode to a nearby grocery store and back. He did very well. He had to stop three times to get off his bike, open up the pouch, take out his water and drink it. He claimed he was very thirsty, I think he just wanted to stop and play with the new pouch and water bottle. He also had a habit of stopping right before he ascends onto a sidewalk. This prevents him from garnering the inertia needed to drive up the slope. I gave him a little push on his back a couple of times to get him going, but he appears adverse to such assistance.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

This evening, I attended the Blasphemer’s Ball, a concert held at Hell’s Kitchen in Minneapolis and featuring four local bands. In celebration of what must be the 23,401,996th failed predication in the annals of Christianity, Harold Camping’s prediction of the rapture failed to materialize, so a bunch of blasphemers got together and decided to celebrate. The bartenders even created a new drink for the occasion, calling it “Rapture’s Delight.”

Really, though, the concert wasn’t about the rapture, initially. The organizer had considered a few dates in May to hold a benefit concert of non-believing local rockers, and I wrote to him suggesting this date as it coincided with the rapture prediction. Back then (February), Camping’s prediction wasn’t a big deal. Apart from one billboard new my home, it wasn’t getting any attention. But, if you Google around a little bit, you’ll see it became a bigger deal as it got closer. The Blasphemer’s Ball was even promoted in the local papers and WCCO TV as a fun event for people who know the rapture isn’t coming (i.e., anyone who’s not an idiot).

Concerts aren’t really my thing, neither is Minnecrapolis, but I managed to hitch a ride with a friend, so he and I dropped in and stayed for about an hour and a half. The place was packed. The venue was good, though. I hope this becomes a repeat performance, as I’d like to attend again.

In other news: my Uncle’s funeral was today. I decided not to attend as, from what I could deduce, neither of the two purposes of a funeral would be served by my attendance. Here’s his online obituary. If you knew him, feel free to leave a comment.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

This morning I was interviewed on the Atheists Talk radio show. In case you missed it (and didn’t mean to miss it), here’s the Quicktime file: CLICK HERE.

It was a difficult format for me. The headphones were awkward, and the announcer kept holding up fingers to indicate how many minutes we had remaining until the next commercial break. This made me constantly nervous because I didn’t know if I could proceed with my comment or if I should stop and left the interviewer (named Mike) wrap things up.

I think it’s nearly impossible in 45 minutes to give a good account of the basic beliefs of a religion, why I left that religion, and what the ramifications for doing so are. Maybe that kept it moving along well, I don’t know. In the future, I’d rather just discuss one aspect, such as just talking about what Witnesses believe and why, or detailing their love of shunning.

Either way, it was an enjoyable experience. I hadn’t heard my name on the radio since my KQRS myTunes playlist last October.