Monday, 28 March 2011

So, last night’s episode of The Amazing Race turned out to be one big commercial for Snapple (just click on that Amazing Race link and you’ll see what I mean). This happens every once in a while – Suvivor does it, too – there will be an episode that features a name brand; sometimes the players are playing to win a box of tools from Home Depot, or maybe they have to assemble a piece of furniture from IKEA. It doesn’t usually bother me.

In last night’s Snapple-fest, teams first had to stop at a tea store and sample some tea (nothing Snapple about that). Then, after arriving in India, they had to taste from 1,000 cups of tea and pick out the one that matched the flavor they had tasted prior to their flight. The clue they received after finishing that task was an unlabeled bottle of Snapple (the clue was printed on the underside of the cap). Anyway, when the first team checked in, Phil (the host) asked the team if they’d noticed the tea-influenced tasks of the leg. He also announced that Snapple was coming out with two new flavors and – as the winners of that leg of the race – they’d be the first to sample these new flavors. He presented two bottles to the team (holy shitty reward, Batman!). Actually, there was more to the reward than that (i.e., $20,000), but it’s funny how prominent Snapple was featured, especially considering that there were about four Snapple commercials during the show.

And that brings me to today: the three of us (I’m excluding Isla because she’s still crawling around the house and babbling like a drunkard) thought the new flavors sounded pretty enticing. I had an item to return to Target, so I stopped there on my way home, returned my item, received store credit, then ventured over to the grocery section. Lots of Snapple…no new flavors. Epic loss for Snapple – instead of extolling the wonders of the flavors, I am bemoaning the fact that, for probably the first time ever, product placement consciously caused me to attempt to buy said product, only to be unable to find it for sale.

Next:
Check out this graphic of Japan’s aftershocks. You just kind of have to watch it, you can’t manipulate as much as you’d like (or maybe I should say I can’t manipulate it as much as I’d like).

And if that’s too depressing, check this out (I laughed ’til I cried):

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

I arrived at Hamline University this morning for the first time in 12 days. I parked, as usual, four blocks away from class. When I was about a block away, I crossed over Hewitt Avenue, then began walking west towards my classroom. I noticed that, for some reason I couldn’t quite determine, a fifty foot stretch of Hewitt was thick with ice. There was no obvious runoff from the buildings, and the land around is pretty flat, so I couldn’t attribute the ice to snow coming down any hill. I thought to myself, “Wow, drivers are gonna have some trouble here.”

Moments later, a line of five cars came passing by (heading east). The first one slid a little bit, but no problem. The second car, seeing the ice, slowed down ever so slightly. The next two cars proceeded in a similar fashion. I think the patch of ice was a real shock because no where else was there any ice (indeed, I never came across any at all on my to school or work today). If it was a snowy or icy day, the drivers probably would’ve been preparing for such icy patches, but this was completely unexpected.

The fifth driver hit the patch and began fish-tailing a little bit. Since there were no other cars around, he should’ve just kept driving and, though he may have slid into the other lane, he wouldn’t have faced any issues. But he didn’t “just keep driving.” Instead, he decided to slam on his brakes. This caused his car’s back end to slide uncontrollably to the left and then, sliding forward, he crashed into a snowbank and surely would’ve landed onto the very sidewalk I was traversing had he not been stopped by a tree. He hit the tree dead-center, so that it buckled in the front of his car pretty bad. The tree made a snapping sound, though it appeared to weather the punch. Once the momentum ceased, gravity took over and the car, now 6 inches shorter than it had been, slid back down onto the road. A sixth car, approaching slowly, drove into the opposing lane to get around the wreckage.

I walked about another fifty feet before turning and going inside a building (from where I could no longer see the car). When I left (about 90 minutes later), the car was gone. A big chunk of tree bark was gone from the tree, and there were enough pieces of the car on the snowbank to build a scale-model replica of the original car.

As I passed by the tree, another car slid on the ice patch (no incidents). About five minutes later, I made the treacherous trek verrrry sloooowly.

Somebody should do something about that.

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Today I attended my niece’s five-year birthday party. I’ve actually been to all five of her birthday parties. I don’t think I have a perfect attendance record for anyone else like that.

The other day, I made some off-hand comment that Owen had been to more birthday parties in his life that I’ve been to in my life. Owen didn’t believe me, but then we started counting–

We’ve both been to all the parties each member of our immediate family has had, and we’ve been been to my niece’s (his cousin’s) five birthday parties. But while I’ve been to four birthday parties for friends, he’s been to at least seven. And just about a month ago, he attended the party of someone he hardly knew.

Maybe I should start a list for him.

Sunday, 27 March 2011

So, by popular demand (including a phone call from my brother-in-law at a quarter to ten last night), I have decided to upload the footage of my time spent on the Oprah Winfrey Show stage. Here it is:

I am quick to note here that I do not have the copyrights for this footage. However, in an agreement I signed, I only agreed to not benefit financially off of my interview. So I just want to make that clear: I’m not posting this with the intent of making any money, and if any of the proper copyright holders do have an issue with my uploading it onto the WWW, please let me know and I will remove it.

Did I ever mention that my appearance on the show came with multiple limo rides, two free nights in fancy-schmancy hotel and a $160 room service credit? Yeah, I ordered four orange juices with my breakfast on the first morning. And five on the second.

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I love when I wonder about something, and then an answer just comes at me from an unexpected source. Check out this blog entry from one of my friends:

Proper Noun Blog: Savor

There, my friend talks about a book she recently read in which being a “mindful eater” is said to include all six senses. I commented that I couldn’t really think of a way in which to engage hearing in meal time. Put another way, if I was completely deaf, would my meals be diminished in any way?

Then…

This afternoon I was at a Toastmasters meeting (I gave a speech about the Hinckley Firestorm, but that’s not relevant right now). One member gave a speech titled “A Beginner’s Guide to Enjoying Wine.” In his speech, he noted that partaking of wine should involve all the senses, and this is why people clink their glasses at the start or end of a glass of wine: it’s the best way to engage the sense of hearing.

Pretty cool, huh?

Oh – he also recommended the documentary Mondovino, which I have subsequently placed high on my Netflix queueueue.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Today I took part in a group outing (yes, yes, I know “group” is a silly word, but I honestly think that’s the next level up from my department at work) at Pinstripes.

Pinstripes appears to exist solely for the purpose of catering to events; i.e., you wouldn’t go there just for dinner, but you would go there for, say, a groomsmen dinner (where you can hope to Thor that they don’t serve Pastira).

First, there was an eleven-course meal. I tried to abstain from gluttony and only partook of nine courses. Then there was bowling, then indoor bocce ball, which was a new experience for me. The only other two times I’ve played bocce ball have been outside on sand. The flooring for the indoor variety was akin to a pool table’s felt top: a little power and the balls went a loooong way.

There was so much food leftover that the staff packaged the pasta into containers 9x4x3 inches in size. I took one home and it should provide an additional three meals. They might be that last meals I have on the company tab – as my co-worker said on the way home, perhaps today was our Last Supper.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Back on Wednesday, I went out to my car, and it didn’t start. This wasn’t too much of a problem since I just took my wife’s car to work. Owen is on spring break this week, so he didn’t need to go to school and, though my wife had an appointment that morning, it was postponed due to the weather.

Anyways…

My car chooses not to start whenever the air is really wet. The heavy precipitation of Tuesday, coupled with the melting of snow, likely conspired to keep my engine from “turning over” (whatever that means) on Wednesday morning.

Wednesday and today, I used my wife’s car. (Okay, technically, I really hate the term “wife’s car,” as if she is in sole possession of that Saturn. That’s silly. The car belongs to both of us equally. It just turns out that my wife uses the Saturn more often than I do and, as a routine, I drive the Cavalier to work.) On Thursday, I got a ride to work from a co-worker.

I knew my car must be okay, because my father-in-law stated that I “should be able to get another 50 thousand miles out of that thing,” and that was only 8,000 miles ago. So today, with the sun shining and the air heating up, I decided to give my Cavalier another try. It worked, and I took it around the block to fill the tank up with fossil fuels. When I returned home, I wisely decided to back into the parking space…just in case.

Monday, 21 March 2011

Here’s one of my pet peeves:

When people say they have a secret, but that they can’t or won’t tell you.

Nothing says “I’d like some attention please” like saying you have a secret (except maybe maintaining your own blog).

I can recall several instances of friends performing this little bit of narcissism throughout my life, but online social networking has taken this to a new level.

Here’s the deal: if you have a secret that you can’t/won’t let me know about right now, then just don’t even tell me you have a secret. After we told our family that Jennifer was pregnant (back in ’04 – with Owen), a few of them commented on what good secret-keepers we were. Yeah, it’s true, we are awesome secret-keepers, and the reason is because we didn’t run around saying: “Guess what? We have some big news. But we can’t say what it is right now.”

Here’s why it’s advantageous for you, the secret-holder, to keep your mouth shut: it’s just gonna make the big news that much less special, perhaps even anticlimactic. For example, suppose you say, “I have some big news that I have to keep secret right now,” …well, then everyone just starts guessing (at least in their mind). Are you getting married? Are you pregnant (or, if you’re male, is a woman with whom you’ve recently coupled pregnant)? Are you moving to Tajikistan? Did you win the lottery? Then, when you do reveal that – Surprise! – you bought a puppy, we’ll all be like, “oh, was that all?”

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Did I ever blog about my sand timer? Here’s a recent picture of it:

The sand timer’s history goes back several decades, at which time my great-grandparents (my dad’s mom’s parents) acquired it under circumstances and location unbeknown to me. It sat on their shelf for many years.

In the mid-1980s, following the death of my great-grandmother, my grandma flew to California to help her dad sort through his wife’s possessions. My grandma came home with, among other things, this sand timer.  It sat on her shelf for four or five years.

Then, one day in early 1990, it was sitting on a table in her garage as an item in her garage sale. I asked if I could have it, and my mom said, “I don’t want to take all of your Nana’s things. If it doesn’t sell, you can have it at the end of the day.”  I ensured it would not sell by deftly switching the price from $4.00 to $14.00. Fretting that that was not enough, I later added in another 1, uping the asking price to $114.00. At the end of the day, I was allowed to bring the timer home. It sat on my shelf for many years.

About two years ago, in an effort to help Owen calm down and get to sleep at night, I brought the timer into his room and set it on his nightstand. Turning it over to allow the sand to pour through, I told him of all its owners and explained how watching its methodical filtering can help his drift off to sleep.

Anyway, he broke it today. It was an accident, and he was sad about it – even to the point of getting out of bed and coming into the living room crying that he didn’t have the timer to help him get to sleep tonight. When it first broke, he said, “Can we get a new one?”

The answer is…not really.

Of course, I have other things from my parents and grandparents, but most things are gifts they bought from me. I have hardly anything that they themselves once owned. I have that evolution book I discussed last month (CLICK HERE), and I have this knick-knack from my maternal grandparents:

…but that’s about it.

Here’s a more recent picture of the sand timer:

R.I.P., old friend.

Friday, 18 March 2011

Today marks my seven year anniversary with my current employer. My supervisor treated me to lunch at Potbelly. It’s kind of a cool fast food place because they toast the bread for their sandwiches (always nice when it’s cold outside) and they have live music. Some guy with a guitar today was singing and strumming “Dear Prudence,” among other great, classic tunes.

Sadly, I think this might be my final occasion being treated to lunch by this particular supervisor. That is, unless we both survive the imminent lay-offs and  continue to have the same working relationship. I doubt it.

Not sure where I’ll be working next, but I’m gonna ask if I get a free meal on my anniversaries.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

Today, our friends Ryan and Esther took us to Jun-bo, an “authentic” Chinese restaurant in Richfield. Our meal was served dim sum style, which basically means every dish the restaurant serves is placed on your table (unless you quickly decline) and you take a portion and pass it on to the others at your table. This, of course, is a great racket for the proprietors, as they manage to rack up your bill to a hefty total before you’ve even looked at the menu.

I must say, though, everything I tried tasted excellent – from the seaweed salad to the pineapple donuts.

Jennifer and I left with five – yes, FIVE – Styrofoam containers filled with food, and our friends had at least three containers in tow as they left. I think this must be some kind of a record; it was as if we both dined at a restaurant and did our food shopping for tomorrow and Monday.

Sunday, 20 March 2011

…Yep, we feasted on Jun-bo left-overs all day.

So, in taking my class this semester, I’ve realized there are some serious gaps in my reading list. So, come mid-May, I’m gonna try to correct that. Things I’m gonna read this summer:

–The Divine Comedy, by Dante Alighieri (friends just called him “Dante”).

–On the Origin of Species, by Charles Darwin. Of course, the book’s full title is On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, because people in the 18th and 19th century abhorred brevity.

–Common Sense and The American Crisis and The Rights of Man and The Age of Reason, all by Thomas “The” Paine. I want to read these because they are constantly referenced in other readings I do.

–A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens (I don’t know, maybe I’ll wait until December to read this). I know so much about this book, I think it’s time to actually read it.

–The Koran, also known as The Qur’an, as dictated by Jibril, also known as Gabriel. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a Muslim?

–The Federalist Papers, written by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay. Like Paine’s writings, these are vitally important in the history of our nation. I’d like to be able to say I’ve read them.

–The Song of Hiawatha, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I’ve been on Hiawatha Avenue, and I just can’t see how anyone can write a poem about it. I’m very curious.

Also, did you know radiation is good for you? Ann Coulter said so on Bill O’Reilly, so it can’t be wrong. I’m moving to Japan.