Thursday, 03 February 2011

This has been an unusual day. I could tell you about how I began a new semester at Hamline today, or how I took the day off of work, or that I picked my son up from Kindergarten, or that I took part in another episode of Atheists Talk. Heck, I could even talk about the fact that it’s the 52nd anniversary of the Day Music Died. Instead, I am going to talk about this book:

My great-grandma gave me this book as a gift 20 years ago today. The book is basically a compendium of natural scientific findings. It was published in 1955, so, even at the time she gave it to me, big swathes of it were already out-dated. Still, as it is lavishly illustrated, it was fun to page through; astronomy, biology, geology, paleontology, it’s all there. It was actually the first adult-level book I owned on the sciences. Of course, I had read plenty before, but always books for kids and teens. This was a real book – a bok for grown-ups.

My great-grandma was not a Witness, thank Thor, so she probably wasn’t put off by the naturalistic explanations of cosmology, origin-of-life scenarios, and evolutionary history that fill the book. The introduction states: “Yet our interest in the world, even when it is narrow or specialized, stems mainly from a craving to know and understand, which has developed through ages of evolution as an essential part of our character.”  Though I often took the book out and read parts of it, no one in my family was worried that I was reading information that systematically disproved the Greatest Story Ever Sold (or, as I used to call it, “the Bible”).

This tall book, being over a foot in height, never quite fit right on any book shelf, and I was always making concessions for it in ever home I lived in and every shelf I owned. During the past half-decade, it’s become a laptop desk – a great way to keep the heat from my hard drive from killing off my reproductive capabilities.

Often, I’ll close up my computer and set it aside, and then just page through the book for a few minutes. It’s how nerds unwind.

My great-grandma passed away over 11 years ago, though her mind had faltered a few years before that. I recall one evening, when my parents, uncles, aunts and grandparents all went out for an anniversary celebration, it fell upon me to sit with my great-grandma for the evening. She sat in one chair, playing solitaire,  and reading a magazine. I sat in the chair next to her and read a book about Alfred Hitchcock. We spoke a few times, but her memory was nearly gone, and I couldn’t think of much to say. Too bad. Now that I look back on that evening, I wish I would’ve asked her about her childhood and her young adult years. I’m not sure she would’ve been able to recall much, but it would’ve been fascinating to learn anything I could. Maybe one thing I should have said was, “Thank you for that book you gave me 5 years ago.”

Well, now it’s been 20 years.

Though I read big chunks of the book, I’ve never read it. There’s a lot of text. It’s a huge book. But maybe it’s time to get started. I read the introduction this evening.

Tuesday, 01 February 2011

Jennifer and I have been trying to make a more diligent effort to eat healthier and work out more lately. Jennifer has been pretty much heading up the eating department. I think we already eat pretty healthy, but there’s definitely room for improvement, especially in the grains and portion-control departments. For example, if you put ten pounds of potatoes in front of me, I’m going to eat them all. Fast. So I need to correct that.

We’ve also been visiting the work-out room at our apartment complex more. I’ve been using the exercise bike. This is a bit of a cop-out, since I should really be running on the treadmill for a more thorough work-out. But here’s the problem: running is really boring. Like, reading Girl with the Dragon Tattoo boring. But sitting on the exercise bike is not boring because I can read while I do it. Today, for example, I finished reading The Far Side Gallery 2.

I get the feeling that I spend May –October working out, going for walks, riding bicycles, running, and stuff like that just to make up for what I did to myself during November-April. It’s easy to get sluggish during those months of cold and darkness. Anyway, I’m trying to get a head start on it this year. I’ve said this before (perhaps I’ve said it too much) but, with the birth of my children, I have this weird feeling that I need to stay alive for the next two decades. And I don’t want to turn into some bloated Jabba the Hutt (oh for God’s sake, another stupid Star Wars reference) along the way.

Wednesday, 02 February 2011

So, I’m less than 24 hours away from beginning another semester of college. Already I’m starting to feel overwhelmed, and I haven’t even seen the syllabus yet. I have all of these non-necessary things that I do with my time, and I’m starting to feel like they’re crowding me out. The problem is, each one individually is fun and enjoyable, but all together, especially when linked up with things I HAVE to do, makes for too much stress and pressure in my life.

I was going to devote today’s blog post to listing off the things I do with my time and ranking them by priority. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to figure out how to properly rnak them. I mean, first, there are things I have to do just to stay alive, like eating and sleeping. That takes up a lot of time. Then there are things I have to do in order to have some semblance of a good life: I have to go to work, I have to spend time with my wife and children, I have to devote time to recreation. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being with my family, and I even enjoy my job, but those things take up a lot of time. The problem is, I add in a whole bunch of other things: I’m an editor for The Minnesota Atheist, I co-host Atheists Talk, I’m a member of Toastmasters, I insist we work-out (see above), and, as of tomorrow, I’ll once again be a college boy. There are more things to this list (oh – I just thought of one – I maintain this blog). I need to write them all down and rank them by priority, and chop a few off.

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Today I went to work for a few hours in the morning. As I was leaving work, I went out to my car and saw that the front driver’s-side tire was flat. I mean like riding-on-the-rim flat. The tire was fine this morning; I’m sure I would’ve noticed if it was THAT low. I must’ve driven on something like a nail or a bevy of porcupines.

I jacked up the car and took the hubcap and nuts off with no problem. I then removed the spare from the trunk. I then tried to take the old tire off of the bolts. No luck. I used the tire iron as leverage, but still…no luck. To make matters worse, it was rather cold outside and very slushy on the ground, so I was filthy.

I went back into my job and asked the lady at the security deask if someone would be able to help me. She paged her male co-worker who came over to me and said, basically, that he couldn’t help me.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, mostly for insurance reasons,” he said.

“I don’t get what insurance has to do with it…?” I said. “I’m just asking as a fellow human being…”

But he said that if he was to get injured, then I might think the company is at fault. Yes, it baffled me too. He said my best bet was to ask one of my co-workers to help me. (Um…I thought I just did.) I told him that none of the people from my department were at work at the moment, since it’s a Saturday. He said, “Yeah, well, with staffing issues, I really can’t go out there.”

I’m not sure what sort of pansy-ass excuse this was, especially since he already gave me an iron-clad litigious reason, but it’s just plain stupid. How many members of security need to be “on staff” on a Saturday morning? And, if something was to happen, say a theft or a medical emergency, it’s not like I would say, “Sorry, pal, but you’re helping me change out this tire and I refuse to let you go assist with that actual emergency.”

Anyway, I went back out to my car. Still couldn’t get the tire off. I called my wife to have her come pick me up. She asked i there was anyone else I could ask for help, and a large guy happened to park and get out of his car right then. “Excuse me sir,” I shouted, “Can you help me get my tire off my car real quick?”

“Uh, no, I can’t do that,” he said.

So I got back on the phone and said to my wife, “That guy won’t help me either. I guess no one cares about their co-workers anymore, everyone’s too self-absorbed now.” I said this loud enough so that guy could hear me. Ha! Take that, large, burly man!

So, Jennifer came and picked me up, and my car will be spending the weekend at my job.

Meanwhile: my stereotype of security officers has been confirmed.

Sunday, 30 January 2011

So, after going about 7 years without stepping foot inside a McDonald’s restaurant, today marked the second day in a row that I was inside one.

See, last night, with Owen at his grandparents’, Jennifer and I decided to rent a movie. Of course, we already had Inception at home waiting for us (via Netflix), but we figured we could squeeze in two movies. So we looked up the Oscar nominees for Best Picture, and selected a few that sounded decent. Then we looked up the location of the nearest Red Box. Turns out, the nearest one is inside a McDonald’s.

We rented The Social Network, as that was the first Best Picture nominee we spotted on their menu.

This was my first time using a Red Box and, I gotta say, I liked it. Of course, since we are Netlflix customers, the Red Box is kind of redundant, but I could see how, if you suddenly find yourself with some time on your hands one evening, a Red Box is the way to go.

Also: we used a code that we found online, so we didn’t even have to pay. Free movie! Sweet!

Monday, 31 January 2011

After securing a ride to work thanks to my co-worker John (damn, I’m glad he wasn’t worried about the insurance if we had gotten into an accident), my first task upon arriving at work today was to go over to my car and lather the bolts in WD-40.

After spending the next three hours trying to rid myself of a certain WD-40 smell, another co-worker accompanied me out to my car. We first tried hitting the tire with rubber mallets. Then, we put the nuts back on, I got into the driver’s seat, and turned the wheel from one extreme tot hte other. Still no success. So then, I started the car and drove forward and backward about five feet. Still no success. So then I repeated the five feet forward and backward stunt. Still no luck. Finally, we positioned ourselves behind the dirty tire on the dirty ground and, together, we hammered (malleted?) the tire off.

He was kind enough to take me to Firestone which, contrary to their name, sells neither fire nor stone. However, they do sell tires.

The last time I had to change a tire on the Cavalier, I was on the side of the road on I-94. I remember thinking how godawful it was that I was risking mylife like that on the side of the road, but then I thought about how lucky I was that it was such a beautiful day (this was in June 2006). So, today, and back on Saturday, I tried to think about the positive aspects: yes it was cold, yes the security guy was an asshole, yes the ground was dirty. But the good things were that I was safely in a parking lot. Additionally, I was in the parking lot of my employer, so if need be, I couldn’ve left me car there for an extended period of time. Also, it was daytime, so that was nice.

Anyway, if anyone needs a tire changed, I have some tricks up my sleeve now. I can’t actually help you (due to insurance and staffing reasons), but I can provide you with a list of idea on how to remove a stubborn tire. Provided you sign this waiver first.