Regarding the Recent Outbreak of Violence in Our Nation’s Capital

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Ah, yes…another day without leaving the house!

Turns out, there was a contest that aired on the television this afternoon, and my son is very interested in these types of contests, so we watched most of it. Well, it’s not like I sat there and stared at it the whole time, I was doing other stuff, too.

In this particular battle of wits and strengths, there was one group of Native Americans, evidently from the mid-Atlantic seaboard, and they were fighting against a bunch of Scandinavians. The reporters continually referred to the Native Americans as “red skins,” which I thought was an outmoded and offensive term, but maybe it’s coming back in style. I don’t know.

Anyway, the contest proceeded exactly as this type of war has always gone between Native Americans and the descendants of Europeans:  the ‘white skins’ invaded the Native Americans’ territory. At first, it seemed amicable; it appeared there were some gestures of goodwill. There was some posturing, but I think it was just for fun.

But then the battles began.

Early on, the Native Americans held their ground very well. For a time, they even appeared to be winning. But those relentless white skinned warriors (who were at a disadvantage having recently fired their Commander-in-Chief) would not give up – they kept taking more and more land. It seemed anytime the Native Americans would give them an inch, they’d take a yard. Indeed, it seemed they were measuring their success in yardage, rather than in diplomacy.

About midway through the war, it was a done deal: the Native Americans were at the mercy of the white skins. All that was left was to see how bad the Europeans would dominate over the natives, and what they would, in a hopeful display of mercy, leave for them.

The war did not even play out to its expected end date. The white skins were so far ahead, they spent the final few moments of battle celebrating and gloating.

Vikings: 17, Redskins: 13