Monday, 08 November 2010

Today my family of four attended a birthday party (it was Isla’s first time attending a birthday party). This one was at Edinborough Park in Edina. Owen and I used to frequent a similar park in Maple Grove, called Maple Maze, and we’ve been to another one in Woodbury, too. These play areas-within-a-community center seem to be catching on. It appears that, if yours is a suburb of significant size and affluence, then you must build one of these things. I bet there’s one in Apple Valley, I just don’t know about it yet.

I vote for Edinborough Park as the best of the three, though. For one thing, it doesn’t smell like a dirty diaper. The six-story high roof maybe helps with this. It’s in a large building, as are the ones in Maple Grove and Woodbury, but unique among the three, the one in Edina is not cordoned off from the rest of the building. So, you know – more air flow.

For another thing, adults can actually fit in the play area. At the other two, it’s been difficult for me to get my immense body (i.e., over 5 feet tall) through the tubes. When Owen’s asked me to go down the slide with him, I’ve had to practically lay down to fit. Not so Edinborough – I was able to walk through most of the tubes, and I could actually sit up as I went down the slides. There were some pretty kick ass slides, there, too. There was also a play area with some fun carts, balls, and one of those inflatable jumping things. Not a bad Monday evening.

The grapes were very tasty, too.

Tuesday, 09 November 2010

Jennifer and I went to Owen’s school today for our first ever parent-teacher conferences.I told Jennifer that conferences used to scare the crap out of me. Literally. I would get so nervous I’d get diarrhea and I couldn’t eat or think about anything. Primarily this was because my parents made an enormous stink about everything, so when my mom would attend conferences and find out that I wasn’t paying attention in class for a minute last Thursday, or that I turned in an assignment a day late, or that I only got a B+ on the latest math exam, this was typically met with spankings in the case of the former and disapproving comments in regards the latter.

Now, like with just about everything else, I don’t see what the big deal was.

In Kindergarten, there’s not much to ‘rate’ a kid on: Owen is doing good in reading, writing, and drawing. His socializing is behind, but he’s coming along. He “loves the concrete nature of math,” which isn’t too surprising, and he is always pleasant to be around. The teacher gave us a folder (complete with a fall-theme on the cover that Owen colored) with some observations and goals for Owen and a few pieces of his artwork.

In the coming weeks, there will be some tests to see how the kids perform, and the results will be used to place the kids in future classes. If Owen doesn’t exceed expectations, I’m gonna beat him. Just kidding.

Oh – and I know it’s a bit early to be thinking about Xmas presents, but you might want to consider this for the little ones in your life:

(CLICK HERE for more info about this wonderful book, which will help your preschooler equate President Obama with Josef Stalin.)

Saturday, 06 November 2010

We made another trip to Michaels today.

Last week, we visited their custom framing department to inquire about getting three pictures framed. This would have cost over $400. Yikes! Did I mention that was with the non-fancy frame style and did not include glass? Yep. The employee told us they do have 50% off sales all the time, which makes sense, because I can’t imagine anyone pays full price. We sure didn’t.

Instead, my wife went online and selected the frames we needed. For less than $80, we bought all three frames (and this time it included glass). The problem was, it did not include spacers.

Spacers, for those who don’t know (and I sure didn’t) are little pieces that hide between the glass and the picture (tucked behind the frame) that keep the print off the glass.

No problem, we thought, we’ll just pick some up at Michaels.

So today, we stopped at the apostrophe-starved store and my wife went in while I waited in the car with our two miniature versions. She came back ~10 minutes later empty-handed. Turns out, Michaels does have spacers, but they only sell them in with custom framing orders. When they asked my wife if she bought her frames from Michaels, she said no (have I mentioned she’s honest to a fault?), and they said that they couldn’t sell them to her.

Fine, if they don’t want our money, we’ll take it elsewhere.

We ventured over to Gallery Editions. The sign on their window said they are open until 5:00 but, even though it was only 4:45, the doors were locked and the lights were out. A sign on the door said that they had to adopt shorter hours, including closing on Saturdays at…5:00.

Um…if the economy is cutting into your hours, Gallery Editions, maybe you should at least stay open as long as your signs say. That way you could have made some money off of us.

Sunday, 07 November 2010

Today was sure to be a good day, as we were determined not to go to Michaels. Instead, I stopped at Deck the Walls, a store that, despite claims to the contrary on their website, were not willing to help me ‘created my masterpiece.’

We also stopped at Things Remembered. After the teenage employee got off the phone with her BFF, I asked her if she could stitch our daughter’s name on a new blanket we purchased. She said they can only customize blankets that were purchased in their store. I said, “Oh, you must’ve changed your policy in the last few years,” and she said, “yeah.” Then my wife said something super sarcatic to her (that’s the kind of thing that makes up for her überhonesty, which is a word I just made up so that I could use an umlaut), and we walked out of that store.

I gotta say, though, I’m kind of happy that the girl refused our money. She didn’t exactly make me feel confident. She was a typical gum-chewing, hair twirling ditz who was gabbing away on the phone when we walked into her store, despite the fact that other customers were there, presumably looking for assistance. She only got off the phone because I just walked right up to the counter and stared at her until she said to her friend: “Well, I have to go now, yeah, okay, talk to you later, okay, mm-hm, yep, bye.” For some reason, she just didn’t exude “You can trust me with your family heirlooms.”

I guess I’m saying this because, thanks to that girl, I have no intention of returning to Things Remembered for any reason. If I need something customized, I’ll go somewhere where the employees at least seem competent and ready to help.

Thursday, 04 November 2010

Today I tried the Maple Grove library’s drive-up book drop for the first time. In the past, I have always gotten out of my car and went in to return my items, but today I had no reason to go in, so I decided to try the book drop. Unfortunately, the woman in the minivan ahead of me was returning about 5,000 items, which she had to insert into the drop one at a time. She kept reaching around in her vehicle, picking up one thing at a time.

Then I went to Michaels, which never fails to put me in a bad mood. I had to return a tie-dying kit we bought the other day. There was no signage for where to make a return, so I asked this young employee (who was busy organizing stuff on a rack and didn’t bother to look at me) where I could return something. She replied, but she mumbled so much that I couldn’t understand here. Oh – and she also started walking away mid-sentence. She went behind a cash register, so I assumed for a moment that she was going to help me, but instead she just yelled out: “I can help who ever’s next!”

I just went into a different line, where I was told the wait would be long. So then  I went into a different line. When I got to the front of that line, the cashier told me she’d have to get a manager to help us. And guess what? The manager turned out to be the mumbling, back-turning girl I had first tried talking to!

Man, I hate that store.

Friday, 05 November 2010

Let’s first talk about what went wrong during today’s 6K race.

First, I once again was unable to determine when, exactly, the race began. I was standing there, near the starting line, listening as best as I could. But the starting point is near a highway, and the PA system they use was (once again) inadequate. I wanted to stand closer to the announcer, but it wouldn’t be right for me to stand too close to the front, as I would just get trampled by the ‘real’ runners. So…I started my stopwatch and began running as soon as I could, but I knew I’d already lost some time.

Second, we were instructed to travel counterclockwise around the path. For the last month, I had been running clockwise around it. I know, I know, this shouldn’t make that much of a difference, but it does. See, I knew where all the markers were, and I knew how to pace myself (e.g. “Don’t stop running until I’ve crossed the bridge”). But with everything the opposite way, I couldn’t keep track of my pacing as well.

Alas, I think both of these things made me do better. Since I was worried I had lost several seconds at the start, and since I didn’t know when I could slow down, I just kept on running. In fact, I kept passing people that I had been pacing off of – they would get winded and slow down, and I just kept going. It wasn’t until about 90% of the way around the path that I stopped running. My side hurt and so I took about 30 seconds to walk while pushing in my side. Then I ran again. Then I stopped running again, but this time only for about 20 seconds.

Then, I could see the finish line in view. I looked behind me to see no one closer than 50 feet. I looked in front of me and saw the clock: it was a good thing I hadn’t trusted my stopwatch, as I was several seconds off.

Running slowly and steadily, I was first passed by a tall man who suddenly had a burst of energy. “Oh well,” I thought, “I didn’t want anyone else to get in front of me, but I suppose I’ve done well enough.” Then a woman, about 50 years old by the looks of her, also passed me. She was followed closely on her heels by two more people – also several years older than me.

Somehow, for some reason, I decided to kick it into high gear. I didn’t want to be outrun by three older people in the final few seconds. So I ran. Fast. So fast I kept wondering how high off the ground I was launching myself. So fast that my heels were nearly hitting my butt with each kick back.

With about 5 seconds to go, I passed the three people. At the speed I was going, I nearly smashed into the tall guy. So I increased my speed even more, and, with one second to go, I stepped around that man, put myself directly in front of him, and reclaimed my position.

But since I was so concerned with pissing off four of my co-workers, I neglected to look at the clock.

No worries. One of the ladies who works in my department finished just after me. She said her time was 34:54. The official times won’t be published until sometime next week, but I must’ve finished in 34:40 (give or take 10 seconds), meaning I not only set a new personal best, but I beat my old record by over 80 seconds.

At the moment, I have no plans to beat this record next year.

Wednesday, 03 November 2010

Today I received my KQRS Prize Pack in the mail. You may recall that this was a gift for having my playlist selected last Sunday (if you don’t recall, click here). The Prize Pack included: a pen, two bumper stickers, two magnets, a can cooler, a key chain, a t-shirt, lip balm, and a certificate for a 6-foot party sub at Subway Sandwiches. Everything was emblazoned with the KQRS logo. The t-shirt was cool because it says “I rocked the radio.” Ha! Think of it: me! Rocking the radio. Who’d a thunk?

A couple of people asked me how I decided on the songs for the playlist. It was easy. I just thought up some musicians that I like and who actually get played on KQRS. Then I tried to remember which of their songs get played on that station, and I picked one of my favorites.

Here’s the playlist that the played last Sunday:

Beautiful Day, by U2 (Okay, so the station plays other U2 songs that I like a lot more, but I wanted to be sure to include songs from a variety of years, and this was the only song from this millennium.)

Come Together, by Aerosmith

Superstition, by Stevie Wonder

Southern Cross, by Crosby, Stills and Nash

The Immigrant Song, by Led Zeppelin

Loves Me Like a Rock, by Paul Simon

Renegade, by Styx (Okay, so I wouldn’t consider myself a Styx fan, primarily because I can’t think of any other songs that the do beside this one. But I do like this song.)

Watching the Wheels, by John Lennon (Hey – look at that – that makes two songs authored by Mr. Lennon. What can I say? I’m a fan.)

Here’s a brief clip that I recorded on Sunday. It features the final seconds of “Watching the Wheels,” followed by my name being said on the air:

MyTunes

Oh – and let me know if you want a KQRS beer can cooler. It’s on me.

Monday, 01 November 2010

6K Update:

Okay, so I ran the course again during my lunch break today, marking the ninth time I have done so in less than a month.

I am happy to report that I bested my personal record by approximately 24 seconds. This is good news. What’s even better is that, when I was within site of the finish line, I saw that I was still some two minutes under my best time, so I stopped running and took it easy. I walked for about a minute, then began running again. So, that’s good because, if I can do the same thing on Friday, then I will definitely beat my time.

My plan now, especially in view of having lost a day last week, is to run on Wednesday of this week. However, I don’t want to completely wear myself out, so on Wednesday I will only run to the 1K marker, then turn around and come back. This means I’ll only be running for about a third the normal distance.

If I can do that, I should be in good shape for Friday. Or rather, I’ll be in the best shape I can be in.

Tuesday, 02 November 2010

Today I completed three more in my endless queue of filmlets.

Here they are:

As a personal request, if you do watch them, please subscribe to my page (if you haven’t done so already). Also, feel free to “like” or “dislike” them using the icons shown below each video.

Now let me answer some questions about them:

Q. Why did I make them?

A. Well, I wasn’t going to. I thought the Watchtower Society’s other new brochure from this year, The Origin of Life, much more fascinating from a cult-indoctrination perspective. That’s why I hurriedly created this filmlet. However, as you can see from some of the comments there, a few people asked if I’d be making a similar documentary regarding the other brochure. Additionally, a friend of mine said that he’d been in contact with one of his Witness relatives, and that relative said the brochure Was Life Created bolstered his faith in creationism. Needless to say, I felt I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to point out some of the brochure’s flaws.

Q. Fine, but then what took you so long? These brochures came out last summer, and you finished your other video back in July.

A. As noted here before, two major events (wedding ceremony + subsequent wedding video, and the birth of my daughter) both ensured I wouldn’t finish any personal projects for quite some time. Nevertheless, though the brochures were released  at conventions in the United States during May-September of this year, they are still being released worldwide. Most Asian and south-of-the-Equator nations, for example, still won’t see the brochures for months. So the videos are still very timely.

Q. Okay, but why did you make only one video of the Origin of Life brochure, but three videos discussing Was Life Created?

A. That’s a great question, and I’m glad you asked. you might notice that the Origin of Life video is 9 minutes and 35 seconds long. The three Was Life Created videos, on the other hand, are each around three minutes long. So, the total content is still (nearly) the same.

Q. That doesn’t answer my question.

A. Oh – right, I wasn’t finished. See, here’s something else I realized: the average YouTube user has a very short attention span. Go figure, right? Take a look at my YouTube home page, and you’ll see that the video that has received the most views is this one: Inside the Watchtower Society’s World Headquarters. It’s received thousands of more views than any other videos on my page. It was the most hastily made video on there; it has the lowest production quality; and, in my opinion, it’s the most boring one. So why so many views? It’s gotta be the length. Every other video I’ve uploaded there is between 9 and 10 minutes. So, methinks people get bored. So, I’m trying something new here: brevity! I’m gonna make the prediction that these three videos will, in time, become the three most viewed videos on my page.

Q. Any more Watchtower-related videos coming down the pipeline?

A. I do have another one in the works; but I’ve been struggling with it for several months now. I may just scrap it. Time will tell.