05 July 2010

Today is a holiday, at least as far as my job is concerned. They’re giving us the day off, which is cool, but I still went to work anyway, just for a few hours. It’s nice to get time-and-a-half on top of holiday pay. Makes me feel like I’m getting paid what I’m worth.

A few years ago, Independence Day fell on a Wednesday. I got that day off work, but that was it. It was a funny week: we all worked for two days, then got one day off, then worked for two more days. The Fourth of July will land on a Wednesday again in 2012, I wonder if they’ll give us just that Wednesday off again. Anyway, the world will be ending just a few months after that, so I probably won’t care one way or another.

Also today – during my drive to work, a DJ announced that Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer will be starting for the All-Star game “for the first time since 1968.” I’m not usually one to dwell on sports here, but I gotta say, that’s amazing! I had no idea Joe and Justin had even been playing in the major leagues for that long. Good for those old guys!

06 July 2010

A couple of months ago, my father-in-law asked how many miles my car had, and, accidentally overestimating, I said: “I think it has about 150,000 miles.” He nodded and said: “Oh, well you probably have a good 50,000 miles left on that car. Those Cavaliers last forever.”

I don’t think 50,000 miles quite counts as forever, but I see what he means. Anyway, finally, today,  my Chevy Cavalier logged its 150,000th mile. I wrote the date down in a notebook I keep in the car, and I’ll see how long it takes the car to graduate to each 1,000 mile marker. Then I’ll average out the time and extrapolate how much longer I can expect the car to run. Already, the Cavalier represents the longest I’ve ever owned a vehicle, so I feel like I’m on borrowed time already.

On a completely unrelated topic, today we had our sixth and final installment of the birthing class. My favorite suggestion in class today was when they said to stay in your pajamas when company comes over to see the baby, that way, they don’t stay too long and, like a sick person, they’ll feel the need to help you. Ha! Take that, friendly visitors!

Later, we practiced a pain coping technique featuring vocalization. I’ll skip the boring parts and go straight to this: they had us swearing while exhaling. Not yelling, as if you just hit your head with a hammer, but saying it slowly, as part of the breathing: “ffffuuuuuuck ooofffffff.” Very cathartic.

Also, my biggest contribution to the class today was informing the moms-to-be that, if they feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about nursing in public, Buca is probably the best restaurant you can go to, as there are breasts hanging out everywhere.

07 July 2010

Today, for the first time in years (excepting when I’ve been sick), I took a nap. It was pretty unintentional, and it was only as the result of a string of unusual circumstances, but I find it note-worthy nonetheless (or would that be blog-worthy?).

First, I went to work very early this morning. I had to leave work at 11:00 today, and I wanted to clock in as many hours as I could before exiting the building. So, first, I was already very tired.

Second, the midwifes came over for a home visit today. I heard the fetus’ heartbeat again. I’m kind of a pro at finding fetus heartbeats, by the way. I don’t know; maybe I could get on Oprah or something to demonstrate my talent.

Anyway, they left around 12:50 and then my wife and Owen ate a quick lunch and then sped off to a play date so Owen could play with his former preschool classmates. I, meanwhile, stayed home.

So there I was, tired and alone. It was a good time to get stuff done around the house, and I began immediately by importing a CD into my computer and making a copy of it for a friend. This takes some time, of course, and so, while waiting, I laid on the couch and continued reading By the Shores of Silver Lake. Major bummers in this book. SPOILER ALERT! Mary goes blind. And Jack dies. But Laura gets a bag of candy for Christmas and later, Mr. Edwards returns.

Where was I? Oh, yeah – so there I was, reading, and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I think it took me about five minutes to read and reread the last two paragraphs. Then I set the book down and closed my eyes – you know, just to rest until I heard the electronic PING! alerting me that the CD was done cooking. Alas, that ping must’ve came and went. Next thing I knew, and hour and a half had passed by.

04 July 2010

Here’s how oddly talented I am at remembering dates: I have to make a conscientious effort to forget the dates of bad events in my life, lest I rehash them even more than I otherwise would. For example, I honestly can’t recall on which date Beaker, my pet parakeet of 12+ years, died (though I know it was mid-July in 1998). In fact, just last week, it suddenly occurred to me, while driving to work, that it was the one year anniversary of the death of our cat Oliver. Then I had to stop and think for a minute – no, wait, the anniversary was still one day away.

As the fireworks remind me each year, today is the anniversary of Rhett’s death. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone for five years now. During his final year, we only saw each other a couple of times, but we talked on the phone a couple of dozen times. I called him, of course, to tell him Jennifer was pregnant. It was a phone call in three parts, as he had to keep calling back in between helping customers. Later, his conversations extolled the virtues of the finally-released Smile, and he kept trying to encourage me to learn guitar so that I could play on one of his songs. He wanted me to write the lyrics to a song of his, too, but I never got around to it, primarily because he never finished the music.

Anyway, here’s a video that was recorded in March, 1992. This spur of the moment bit of silliness was filmed by my Dad and stars some of my best friends ever.

It’s funny, I miss many of the people in this video. One of them, a younger kid with whom Rhett and I would study the bible, has likewise died. Another one of them was often in the car with Rhett and me as we drove around knocking on doors all day. His caustic sarcasm and brutal honesty was a great counterpoint in those car groups.  Another person in the video later went on to become my roommate for a while, then we drifted apart -or, rather, we purposely ripped apart – and then he contacted my wife and me to invite us back into his life. I’m glad we took him up on the offer. Our reunion, which lasted some six years, made for a far greater experience than the first time we were friends.

Now he shuns me.

I learned recently that he was laid off from his job and that an operation on his arm, which – surprise! – was somewhat botched, laid him up for a while, too. He’s got a lot of mouths to feed at home, more than anyone else I know, and I hope health, employment, and finances pick up for him soon. I’d like to help but, like I said, he shuns me.

Still, I hold out hope that one day again he’ll invite me back into his life. See – that’s the thing: he’s still around, waylaid a bit, but breathing and living life. So, though I miss Andy, I know there’s a chance he and I will be friends again. We parted ways and mended relationships in the past; so I am confident we can do it again one day. I miss Andy, truly. But most of all, I miss Rhett.

02 July 2010

So here we are at the exact center of the year; 182 days of the year have elapsed, and 182 days remain.

I was trying all day to think of something to write for today, and I just couldn’t come up with anything that riveting. I was going to gripe about my phone, and the terrible, terrible company known as AT&T and how I am saving my Verizon phone for this time, next year, when I am no longer indentured to AT&T and can switch back to a non-shitty company, but then I figured – does anyone really want to read about that?

Another problem is that there often seems to be events that I can’t discuss. Like when Jennifer and I first went in for the ultrasound – obviously that was the big event of that day, but I couldn’t write about it, ’cause we hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. Also, sometimes a situation doesn’t have a proper resolution in a single day, and I don’t feel as though I can adequately write about it when I would just leave you hanging. So, you know, sometimes I get stuck.

Anyways, one of my co-workers sent me this link the other day: THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. I thought it was pretty cool. I kept meaning to post it here, and I kept forgetting. So I’m doing it now. And he sent me this, too, which doesn’t exactly make me want to run out and get a pet AT-AT, but it does make me wish my cat’s litter was different.

03 July 2010

Today, during a family picnic, we discussed what sort of laws we would enact if we had the power. Most of the laws I would enact would simply be repealing or altering existing laws. Here’s what I got:

-Marijuana shall be legal. After all, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine are. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss? Tax it.

-Prostitution shall be legal. People’s bodies are their most valuable asset; they should be able to pursue employment by using it. What’s really weird is that I can buy a video of two people having sex; and that’s legal, but actually having sex isn’t. This is an archaic, puritanical restriction that has to go. Oh – and tax it.

-You can marry someone of the same gender, if you so desire. However, fundamentalist Christians may only form civil unions.

-Congresspeople and Senators can only be elected to their offices twice.

-The voting age will be lowered. I’m not sure to what age. I suggested 12, but my wife says this is too low. Still, I don’t see why the 16 and 17 year olds out there are disenfranchised. The disenfranchised are often neglected in legislation.

-Companies shall be required to offer equal amounts of time off for both partners in a relationship where a new child is born/adopted. Obviously, if it takes the birth parent 6 weeks (or 12 or whatever the company offers) to heal physically and emotionally from the birth, then she’ll need her partner there for that same amount of time.

-Marijuana shall be legal. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss? Tax it.

-No draft shall go into effect until all the adult children of the sitting President and Congresspeople (who voted in favor of the war) have been drafted to the front lines.

-The war on drugs is over; the druggies won. Prison is for people we’re scared of or mad at. A meth user is just sad. Get them some help…but I don’t see why they’re criminals.

-Circumcision shall be illegal on non-consenting patients.

-The war-happy, impossible-to-sing “Star Spangled Banner” shall be replaced as the national anthem by “This Land is Your Land.”

-Marijuana shall be legal. So what if it causes some temporary memory loss?

30 June 2010

Today, after a visit with the midwife, Jennifer, Owen and I stopped for dinner at Chipotle. Or, as Owen calls it, A-pote-sway. We dined at the one in Highland Park, on Ford Avenue. We’ve been there before, and we’ve certainly visited other Chipotles before (including: Eagan, Apple Valley, Grand Avenue, West St. Paul, and the Mall of Hysteria), but this is the first time I recall being blown away by the LOUD music.

It wasn’t exactly bad music; it was the kind of generic stuff you’d hear at a wedding reception to get folks dancing. But it was just so darn loud. While standing in line waiting to order, we even contemplated dining out on their patio – and I pretty much hate eating outside, as the temperature/wind/humidity/sunlight/precipitation nearly always seems to conspire in some sort of configuration to warrant such an activity a hassle. Nevertheless, tonight was one of those precious few times when eating outside wouldn’t have been an exercise in frustration.

Alas, after getting out meals, the patio was full of other people. Likely they were all put off by the music, too.

I really hate having to scream at people who are sitting right at the same table with me because the music is so loud. There are some stores that blast music, too, and I generally avoid those. I’m all for quiet music playing, and I like those restaurants that play classical music at an appropriate volume but, I swear, nothing turns me off about a restaurant quicker than loud music.

Except for TVs.

01 July 2010

Today, while in the waiting room just prior to an appointment I was bringing Owen to, I glances over at the Pioneer Press sitting on the table. There was a picture on the cover of one of the sections that showed a mom and her young son sitting in a theater, and the caption said:

“This is his first time seeing a movie in a theater, said Carrie Albers of New Brighton, mother of Eric Molde, 6…”

So, what first caught my attention was that this boy, Eric, was six years old and hadn’t been to a movie theater in his entire life. (Okay, actually, the first thing to catch my attention was the caption’s lack of quotation marks around Carrie’s statement, but that’s not the point right now.) Six! SIX! Oh my god! Owen has been to the theater six times and he’s only five. He’s been to the theater to see…

Cars, Horton Hears a Who, WALL-E, Earth, Up, Toy Story 3

Naturally, I had to pick up the paper and see what sort of a mom holds out on her kid like this for more than half a decade.

And here’s what kind of a mom that is: the kind that has a kid with sensory issues. You know, like autism.

Okay, so then why bring him to the theater now? Because, and here’s the great part, Roseville Theater has “Sensory Friendly Film Night” for kids with sensory issues. The parents who are there don’t have to worry if their kids (or others) have to make funny noises during the show. In fact, it’s probably expected.

To help mitigate any anxieties the kids may have, the theater staff plays the film at a lower volume and with the lights on.

But here’s the insanely awesome part:

They don’t show oodles and oodles of shitty trailers and lame-ass commercials AND – are you ready for this, because this is pretty much the best thing ever? –  You can bring your own snacks! I’ll say this again: YOU CAN BRING YOUR OWN SNACKS!

I really, really, really (okay, maybe that’s too many “reallys”) hate the commercials that play when you first arrive at the theater – whatever happened to the amorphous shapes that silently flowed on the screen back in the 80s? And, when I’m going to see a Pixar, I don’t give a rat’s ass what sort of garbage Dreamworks plans to vomit onto the screen next month. I don’t want to see which stupid Saturday morning cartoon is being “reimagined” for the big screen, I don’t care about sequels to the two hour cliche’ that was Spider-man, I don’t want to see how yummy the high-fructose corn syrup phosphoric acid swill known as “Coka-cola” that’s available for $4.75 in a 92 ounce plastic cup is supposed to be, I don’t need to be reminded to “pitch-in” or to turn off my cell phone, and I certainly don’t need a commercial advertising the sound system and the very theater I am currently sitting in.

Kudos to you, AMC Theaters!

See you on Sensory Friendly Films Night!

READ THE ARTICLE HERE.