College, and Parenthood, and Marriage, Oh My!
Remember the scene in The Wizard of Oz after the tornado of events spins Dorothy’s house out of control? Her life was still sepia toned, and her bed finally becomes still underneath her. She looks up, taking in the calm after the storm, and says, “oh”. Then she so famously walks to her door, opens it, and sees a beautiful technicolor OZ. She walks into the color and her world is never quite the same again.
I sense that this may be where I am in my life right now. The storm has blown over, the house has landed, the bed has stabilized, and I am just looking up and realizing that there is a door to a whole other world just waiting for me to open. I am not sure if my door will lead to my technicolor dreams over the rainbow, but I am sure that I have entered a whole new world, which is vastly different then the one I was raised in.
After I went to Seattle and stayed with my friend Jenne, I realized something. People with kids can go to college. People who are married can go to college. Fathers can come home to families who announce, “Daddy is home from school”. It can be a fulfilling lifestyle, not a temporary hardship on the family. I decided that this was what I wanted to do with my life right now. I wanted to be a student, a mother, and a wife. I saw that this could be done, and what had been holding me back suddenly didn’t seem like an obstacle anymore.
My biggest challenge was actually enrolling in college. I had no idea how to do this. My parents had not attended college, my siblings had not, only James had attended community college and this was my only frame of reference. I searched for an affordable college. I applied to community college as a back up plan, though this was not where I wanted to be. I tried to apply to the U of M, but I was unimpressed with them. They didn’t want me to even apply since I didn’t have an impressive academic record, and they told me that was all that mattered to them. They also require all their students to take language classes, which I have zero interest in doing. They did not care about the volunteer work I had been doing in the last few years, only my high school GPA. I toured two private schools; Augsburg University, and St. Catherine University. St. Catherine’s was my first choice. It was where I wanted to be. Their campus is beautiful and they are a women’s college. They stress leadership and social advocacy. They are supportive of women and mothers and even told me I could bring any future baby I had to class! Which was really the selling point for me. Everything they said after that, I just wanted to say, “you know what, you had me at ‘you can bring your baby to class’”.
The problem was that St. Kates was really pricey. Much more expensive then the U of M. The only way I could mitigate that cost would be to get their scholarship that they award to students with high GPA’s. The tuition would still be more then I could afford, but my first goal was just getting accepted to the college, my second goal was getting that scholarship, and then I would worry about the rest later. I went to my high school and got my records. My GPA was just under what I would need to qualify for St. Kate’s scholarship. I almost broke down and cried right there in my old high school. The woman said, “maybe they will make an exception…” I glared at her, angered at her ignorance. People don’t make exceptions for me; or so I thought.
My dilemma was this: The St. Kates scholarship is only given to first year students. I could not go to community college for two years, and then enter St. Kates with a higher GPA and expect to get that scholarship. St. Kates was now or never, and it didn’t look like it would be now. I almost didn’t apply I was so discouraged. But I finally crafted a plan for myself that made me feel better. The U of M had a program where if I got a high enough GPA I could automatically transfer after two years of community college. I simply had to fill out a form stating my intentions. This was my least desirable option, but one I worked towards putting in place in case my other options failed. My other option was that I could attend community college for two years and try to get a good GPA. Then, I would apply to Augsburg, which did give out scholarships for transfer students (unlike St. Kates). The great thing about the Twin Cities is that there are a ring of really great colleges here. If you attend one of the five, you can take classes at any of the five. St. Kates and Augsburg are both in that ring. So, I decided that if I got accepted to Augsbug after two years of community college, I would then take all my classes at St. Kates. This was not the ideal solution, because I would not be a St. Kates student or graduate from St. Kates, but it would have to do. I also figured I would still apply to St. Kates just for the heck of it, but I didn’t feel I had any chance. I was already applying late, and even if I did get in, I was sure the scholarship funds had been used up by now.
I wrote an essay as part of my application for St. Kates. It was about informed consent in maternity care. I also wrote a personal statement which talked about my life being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I wrote this specifically to address why I did not have a great GPA in high school or any extra curricular activities to put on my application. I was literally not allowed to do extra curricular activities, and I wanted to explain this so I didn’t look like a huger loser. In the space on my application I wrote all about my volunteer efforts and what I have accomplished in the last few years. About a month later I received a letter from St. Kates congratulating me on my acceptance. I was stunned, but reserved my happiness knowing that I still needed the scholarship to even consider going. I planned to contact the school and ask that they make an exception for me and consider giving me the scholarship anyway, even though I didn’t qualify. I didn’t have to though, because a couple days later I received a letter telling me that I had been awarded the scholarship that I needed! I had no idea how this happened. I guess they liked what I wrote. I am sure it was a very different perspective then the 18 year olds applying had.
You would think that at this point I would be thrilled and shouting my news from the rooftops. But no, I was still not convinced that this was really happening, that I had really been accepted to St. Kates, that I really had just been awarded a scholarship. I still felt it was too expensive and I struggled with not wanting to put our family in so much debt. But, then I received the financial aid package. They had awarded me another scholarship, and I had received grants and loans from the government as well. The scholarships and grants covered enough where the loans will be for less then the tuition that the U of M would have been. Of course, had I gone there I would have gotten loans and grants as well making that an even cheaper option, but being able to go to the college of my choice is worth some extra expense. Besides, our life is set up for being able to live off of one income. So, after I graduate and get a job, we will just continue living off of one income until I pay off my loans.
So, here I am, about to start college in a months time. I will be co-majoring in Women’s Studies and Sociology. James will be attending college again as well as his job pays for it and he felt it was high time he started taking advantage of that provision. Owen will start preschool. We will be a school family this fall, and it is sure to be a stressful adjustment for us all. I am still more worried then excited, and more scared then happy. I am not sure how to balance life, and Owen, and possibly new babies, and a husband, with something as intense as college. But I am hoping I will be opening a door to an amazing technicolor experience, and not another sepia colored storm. Only time will tell I guess.
Yay for us!
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:54 pmI’m so proud of you!
I know you’ll do great, my dear!!!
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 pmI am so proud of you too. Don’t worried too much about everything you have to do. It will all fall into balance when you actually get started.
August 4th, 2009 at 8:34 amWow! That is really awesome. If you have the desire and the drive, you just go for it. You have both. With or without college, you are a success. This is just icing. Very cool.
August 11th, 2009 at 2:44 am