May 31st, 2008 | 
Author: A few months ago when Owen was pretty non-verbal he “told” me about his birth from his perspective. Over the last few months, as he has become more verbal he has said little things here and there that are of interest in this regard. He began asking for me tell him “bout when Owen was born” every single night for a couple months. This has all mostly happened since March when we moved. I think it was something he just needed to work through for awhile.
One thing he said was that they “gave Owen water”. I said, “no, Owen only had boobops”. He insisted, “and Owen haf water too.” Then I remembered he DID have formula a couple times while in the hospital (it’s a long story!) and I said, “oh yeah, do you remember that they gave you formula?” And he said, “why Owen have foramuwa?” I explained it the best I could, then asked, “Did you like boobops or formula better?” He insisted that he liked the formula better. I said, “really, I think you like boobops!” And he insisted again that he liked the formula and he wanted the formula. Then he got really sad and teary eyed and said, “no, Owen just want Mama.” I think that what happened is that breastfeeding was hard for him, and perhaps the formula did taste better to him or it was more satisfying because he would get more of it? But he also probably wanted the emotional connection of breastfeeding, so he felt conflicted when I asked him which was better. This is my guess anyway.
One day out of the blue in the middle of his birth story he said, “Mama put Owen in that crib” (referring to the hospital bassinet he was placed in by a nurse moments after birth). I said, “No, Mama didn’t put Owen in that crib!” Then he said, “Daddy put Owen in that crib” and I said, “No, a nurse put Owen in that crib.” He seemed puzzled and he exclaimed in a bewildered tone, “Why she do it wrong?” I said, “I don’t know why, maybe we should tell her that she did it wrong so she wont do that again.” Then he said, “Owen and Mama haf to do that again.” I asked, “What, do you mean Owen has to be born again?” And he said, “yeah, Owen and Mama haf do that again”.
Another day when we were talking about his birth he started saying there was a ball, and “Owen member that ball”. He told me it was blue and pink and red and it was “way over there” and then he would gesture and point across the room and say “Owen member that”. I thought he may be talking about his placenta and I asked if he was ready for it to go away yet and he said “no, Owen want that ball”.
Since these conversations, on the suggestion of Owen’s craniosacral therapist, I started allowing him to decide each step of the way for his birth. Like I started, “Mama and Daddy wanted to have a baby, so they put a baby in Mama’s tummy, and he grew and grew and grew so big that one day he had to come out…” Then instead of going into his actual birth story, I would ask him each step of the way what he wanted. I would say, “did Mama stay home in the house in Big Lake, or did Mama go to the hospital?” And he would say, “Home!” Then I would tell more of the story, and then ask, “did Mama get into the pool, or into the bed?” And he would say pool, and so on. In his “choose your own adventure” birth, he would usually pick home, he would always pick pool, he would usually pick that the cord stayed on for awhile but later Daddy cut it, and then he would pick boobops and laying on Mama in the pool. He sometimes wanted to go swimming in the pool too with Daddy. After a few times of this he stopped wanting these birth themed stories at all and moved onto something else. It is now rare that ever asks for me tell him about his birth. I did tell him the story on his birthday though, and he laid there nursing and listing with rapt attention.
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Every time he does good at something, he looks up at us and claps. It’s very funny. He even claps for us if we do something good. He also has finally been throwing temper tantrums. This is a good thing! Yeah, you moms out there whose two year olds throw major tantrums are probably rolling your eyes at me, but when your two year old doesn’t throw a tantrum it’s weird. One day he did it at a toy store and James and I couldn’t help but just laugh as we carried him out screaming. Then he did it when we left the park and he screamed at the top of his lungs in car all the way home. That time I had to remind James and myself that this was actually a good thing, that we want him to be a normal kid and throw tantrums every now and then, as long as he doesn’t get carried away with it.